A friend of mine posted on FB that tonight was the night she let's her son CIO. He is twp days younger than DS, and I still can't imagine letting him CIO. I'm not one to tell someone how to parent, but I tear up when thinking about letting my baby cry instead of get his middle of the night snuggles with me. It makes me wanna poke her in the eye and cuddle her baby at 2am since she won't now.
Re: I'm a judgey beyotch
CIO =/= child abuse. Just so you know.
We use CIO because it works for our family (we started around 6 months), and that does not make me a neglectful/ bad parent.
Um. Nobody said it made you a neglectful/bad parent. We both just stated that it doesn't work for us and that we like to cuddle our babies in the middle of the night. That's what works for us. And that Pickle likes to poke people in the eye. That's all.
No one said it was abuse. All she said was the thought of her baby crying instead of being cuddled was sad.
She said she was judging her for it. Generally, you judge people when they're doing something wrong. What she's doing may be wrong for your family, but it obviously isn't for hers.
Also the last line of the OP is what rubs me the wrong way.
CIO= Cry it out.
The short version is when it's bed time (or nap time, middle-of-the-night wake up, etc.) you put your baby to bed and allow them to self-soothe to sleep. This usually involves some yelling/crying. People's methods vary (Ferber, etc), but we do intervals. We started out with 3 minute intervals, and now we'll let him cry for about 10 minutes before we go in and shoosh/pat/rub his back. Once he calms down, we leave the room and the process repeats until he falls asleep.
Everyone does it differently, though.
Yes she said she was judging. She did not say that the other parent was neglectful. It was not a personal attack against you. And what is wrong with wanting to snuggle a baby who is being ignored?? I think it is sweet.
I agree. It makes it seem like she doesn't want to love on her baby or something.
You better listen to her..she knows about pulling :insert random thing here: out of asses.
You might want to remove the fact that you say you are judging in your title for those who do not know you then.
Oh, bless your heart. You're just a peach, aren't you?
Well then maybe you should have kept your judgment to yourself instead of posting it on a public forum where other women may (gasp!) practice CIO.
I can't let DD CIO. I'm too weak, I would rather go in there and snuggle with her in the rocking chair than let her scream for however long it took her to fall asleep.
I did judge the girl I went to high school with when she posted on FB that she was letting her 6 week old CIO. If you wanna let your baby CIO, that's fine, but at 6 weeks? Really?
...and on that note, I'm going to bed.
"if you knew me, you'd know I wasn't actually judging her. People can parent however they want, its not my kid. Pull the stick out of your fatass"
ROTFL This is an internet forum, obviously she doesn't know you, AYFKM?
Next time you can't take it, don't dish it.
This is too funny.
I judge 50 Cent because he nicknamed himself after money. But if you knew me you would know I'm not judging you because naming your kid after money is what worked for your family.
Dead.
Are you sure?
Muhahahahaha!!!
ETA; GIF didn't work the first time.
Yes.
Are you kidding?????
Wow.
Totally uncalled for.
We tried a ton of different approaches before we tried CIO. Obviously, I hate listening to my child cry, so it wasn't the first thing we did. It was a last resort because O wasn't falling asleep until between midnight and 1am most nights.
We decided to let him self-soothe, and after a couple of weeks we were able to get him asleep by 8:30. He became a better rested, happier baby. (The lack of sleep wasn't good for any of us.)
As far as middle of the night goes, he often wakes up about the time I get home from work (1am). We usually just do one 10 minute interval, and if he's not asleep by the end of that it's because he's hungry, so we get him up and feed him, then put him back down.
If his crying lasts about 30 minutes ever, we always get him up and see if he's hungry/wet/whatever before trying again.
My kid is *gasp* happier now that he can put himself to sleep and stay asleep thanks to Ferber.
FFS, he was pissed, not sad, that I wouldn't come into his room. He was kicking his feet and throwing a baby temper tantrum. Now that he's getting 11+ hours of sleep every night and at least 2 good naps every day, he's no longer overtired and cranky from waking up in the middle of the night and relying on me to put him back to sleep.
lucky.
That's wonderful (seriously) that you don't need to CIO. A big concern of ours was the Owen wasn't getting enough sleep, and it was affecting the way he felt during the day. Also, my husband goes to school full-time and I work full-time, so we needed to enforce some sort of schedule in order to keep our family sane.
It's just what works for us, and it sucks when people judge your parenting. We've all been there, and know how crappy it feels. That's why I responded to this post originally. It's not like anyone who does CIO loves/ enjoys their baby any less than someone who doesn't.
Agree 100%. DS is still getting up multiple times per night, we've gone through phases where he'd be up a minimum of 6. At 8 months old I know he has no need to wake up THAT much, especially wanting to eat every time. It can be very frustrating and I won't always give him what he wants, but I could never just ignore him (and I am not saying parents who have a CIO method are just choosing to ignore their child. I realize things like Ferber are not what that is.)
I'm a little "stricter" when it's time to go down for naps and time to go down for bedtime, but when he wakes up in the middle of the night, in the dark, I can't imagine what would go through his head if I just didn't come. Especially now that he's used to it. Still workin' on it...
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
Wow... gotta love when betches bring kids into the mix. Slow clap for you guys, no really congrats for choosing the high road.
Say what now?
Yeah, I'm confused. I thought it was just a random joke. Does someone's kid in this thread have a money name?
uhh we started Ferber at 8 weeks... she pretty much STTN anyway but on nights she fought it we did Ferber. 5,10,15 minute intervals of CIO... she is still alive and happy as a lark.
Ah, k. Sorry. I'm on the comp at work and can't see anyone's tickers or anything.