Sorry everyone, this is more of a vent than anything else. I don't really know what to do anymore.
My husband is (generally) a great guy. He does a lot for me, he's kind and he works hard. But he flies off the handle at almost nothing.
When we disagree or I do something wrong he absolutely goes ballistic.
Tonight he placed a pot (closed) with pasta in the sink. I washed my hands over the closed pot because I didn't think anything was in there, and he went flucking nuts. He said I'm stupid, lazy and he's "sick of always cleaning up my messes." I'm not exaggerating... nothing else set him off. We were having a lovely dinner until I washed my hands over the closed pot.
I calmly told him he's overreacting, and he said, "fluck off. go do nothing like you always do."
Last week I casually said I didn't like the color of our bedroom, and he again he LOST it on me. Calling me names, and freaking out thinking I was going to spend money to fix it. I think his exact words were, "flucking move out them.. fluck you."
His meltdowns always result in me just walking away and not engaging with him, but it really hurts. He eventually comes and finds me 30 minutes later, apologizes and swears he won't do it again... but he does.
I don't know what to do anymore. How do you know when enough is enough? Is this abuse or is this just a bad side of him?