If you don't feel comfortable with your in-laws being in the room during delivery that's totally up to you. Me personally, I wouldn't mind my MIL being in the room as longs as she stands behind me BUT my FIL, that's a big no-no. I wouldn't even want my father in the room at time! Stand your ground!!! Good luck!
I'm going through the exact same thing. You are not the selfish one, they are. They aren't considering your feelings at all. This is YOUR moment with YOUR baby and you should have who you want to have in that room. They aren't even considering how overwhelmed you'd be with that many people there. My in laws are just as selfish and I've had to put my foot down. Ultimately, it's hard, but it is not fair what they're doing to you.
My doctor had even made it respectfully clear that the only person he answers to in the delivery room is the birthing mother. Not the grandparents or inlaws who may have "questions and concerns".
I love Dr's like this! I don't think you're still preggo by now, however, everyone here is right. It is your body being exposed to everyone in the room. It was uncomfortable enough for me to have the dr and nurses in there looking at me. It was even a little weird for my mom to be there too. But, I didn't get to have a vaginal birth.. had to have a c-section so there was only one person allowed in the surgery room anyway. One thing I was absolutely livid about is that I wasn't allowed to see my family/friends until the next day. Visiting hours were over at 8pm and my son was born at 7:44PM. It was all my hubby could do to beg them to wait long enough for my MIL to get there. Even then they only got to see my son for a few minutes before they were pushed out the door by the hospital. And the hospital knew this was our first child!! I will never ever go back to that hospital. I'd rather have my baby in the car on the way to the next hospital.
I struggled with something similar: My MIL wanted to fly in for the birth and my own mother wanted DH to videotape the whole thing, which grossed him out immensely. We kindly told everyone this was the time for us to focus on our LO and being new parents (first baby) and we'd gladly take photos [no video] & welcome visitors after she was born. My MIL came out 3 wks. later and while I occasionally bristled at all the extra hands involved, I appreciated the help. Ask your in-laws if they could help in preparing meals you can freeze and warm up or get the nursery ready. This will help them in feeling needed.
Trust, if you're uncomfortable, it'll make labor even longer.
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This makes me so angry that a woman who had kids would put you in a position like that. I thankfully did not have my MIL here for my birth only because the baby decided to come early. I was prepared for a fight however if she was here. No one but my sister and BF were going to be in the room. I didn't care who I pissed off it was my time to have it my way no matter what. Also I think it now common practice that only 2 ppl are allowed in the room when it's time to deliver. People are welcome before and after but during the actual pushing only 2 and that is because of the people helping pass out the medical staff need to limit that chance and the less people the less of a chance.
I had to deal with my psycho MIL for 10 days after the baby came. She flew in and stayed on my couch. Now one would THINK that the whole point of coming to stay after your son and DIL had a baby was to help and cook and clean but nope. We cooked and cleaned up after her and at the time we had a hue ant problem too and chauffeured her around. It was completely ridiculous. When she left she started this BIG fight saying I disrespected her and she didn't get to hold the baby enough and all this outrageous crap so she said because of me she is never coming back to California.
My point is good riddance. If a woman is going to stress you out and make you feel even more emotional than you already are DO NOT feel bad if you "offend" her by telling her flat out NO. And as for your hubby...tell him to grow a pair he's about to be a FATHER and if he doesn't stand up to his weird a parents now things are going to be much worse later when they try and shove their ideas and parenting ways down your throats later.
TELL THEM NO!!!!!
I HATE my in laws and my husbands sister, yet I try and be nice. I know of I was in your shoes I'd PUT MY FOOT DOWN NOW! And say sorry but NO!
I hope the best for you and your baby and I hope you have a good relationship with the in laws
I believe it is 100% your decision (and hope my DH agrees with that once I get to that point myself!) I mean, no one else knows how you are going to feel, act, react, at that moment, so if you want or don't want someone there, they need to respect that.
I think that it's your body and your baby. Don't allow them to pressure you into going along with something you are not comfortable with. If you and husband argue about this, oh well, how long do you think the argument will really last once the baby is born. Your only going to give birth to this baby one time in your life, don't give up certain things YOU want for other people. If they want to hold that against you, then let them. It only shows their true character. This is not about them, it's about you, and that's all that matters.
Sounds like they are narcissists it's always all about them, never their fault, they lack of empathy, and have a grandiose sense of entitlement. It will only get worse once the baby comes. Prepare yourself now to do any and everything to not only protect your child from such people, but also yourself, especially when recovering from birth. Your husband needs to be onboard, otherwise they will control "your" family the rest of your life. I can't believe that your husband allowed them to lecture you about your delivery. It is his job to get them under control, set boundaries with consequences, and most of all protect you and your unborn child at such a fragile time. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's not fair or right. They are wrong.
My advice tell your husband to get control of the reins and he will let them know when they are welcome at the hospital. If they violate your boundaries then there must be a consequence. When they act like a 2 year old you have no choice but to treat them that way. If you allow them to break your rule/boundaries once they will do it forever. There must be a consequence. This is your husband's battle, not yours. Don't let them husband and his parents make it your battle/problem. Personally, I would have your husband tell his parents not to contact you again, at least during the pregnancy considering the stress and emotional roller coaster they just added to your life. As such consequence, his parents are to only call the husband with questions about the baby/you. They are not welcome at the hospital until invited.
Trust me, I'm on year 5 in this battle with a 2.5 year old. I can tell you
any stories, but what you need is a husband with some balls that has actually "leaved and cleaved" from his parents to you. I hope this helps.
This is nuts! It stresses me out just thinking about if this happened to me. You have so many good responses here. Explaining that your doctor would only like two guests in the room is a good suggestion. I could also see room for compromize by asking your mother to leave after the baby is born to return with his parents after you have had bonding time. I think that it is UNFAIR that your inlaws cornered you like this and they do not see your best intrest as a priority.
Point Blank- Its your birth. I wish my mom was there for my first. It took some time for the placenta to come out and I was still being tended to by the doctor while my husband held our son. It felt like there was alot going on. He couldn't be by my side like I would have liked. Another voice reminding me that everything is ok would have helped. On the other hand, sometimes things are perfect and you could let your mom know as soon as things are over she should quietly excuse herself until invited back in to meet the LO since her job of supporting you will be over at that time.
That is crazy! I don't even want my mom in there with me. I would tell her if she wants to call the shots on who is in the delivery room that she better get pregnant herself because it is not going to be for your baby.
Talk to your OB the hospital nurses... they can clear the room! Stating only 2 non medical family members are allowed in the room, rules of the hospital! You are not in the wrong. This is a VERY personal moment for you and you should be able to say who should shouldn't be there!!!
It's your decision and yours alone. Who knows, you might decide last minute that you don't even want your own mother in there and that's okay too. My nurse and I had a secret code when I delivered my son. Since orange juice was the only liquid they wouldn't let me have leading up to the delivery all I had to do was ask her for some orange juice and she would know to get everyone but my husband out of the room. Just an idea. Good luck!
I really feel for you, as this time is stressful enough because we want everything to go as perfectly as it can. Your in laws are the ones being selfish. Your plan to have your husband and your mother in the room is what a lot of women choose. You put your foot down and if you want your mom there, then do not change your plan. Good luck!
Here is a simple resolution for you. Ask him if he would feel comfortable having YOUR mother in the room when he got a prostate exam, colonoscopy, AND (not or) vasectomy. Then watch him beg for forgiveness. If he can't be understanding that this is NOT about your In laws (or him for that matter) than he is more than welcome to wait in the hall with his parents. Apparently the apron strings don't stretch too far for him. It will be me and my husband. MAYBE my mom. MAYBE. Oh, and a lot of painkillers.................
I think it's pathetic that you don't understand that this isn't just a major moment in you your families life. It is a major moment for the daddy his family too. Granted, the FIL would make things a little uncomfortable. And probably be in the room for "the main event". It may be your body, but not only your child. And this is the first of many decision that are not only yours,,,,, but the fathers also. He deserves equal say so!!! How can you be so selfish?
YOU and YOUR HUSBAND are the ONLY ones who get to decide this. I wouldn't want my father in law seeing all my business either!!! And why should he even want to? I know a lot of women who choose to have their mothers in there. She gave birth to you and its a time to bond with her. And as far as having bonding time with the baby before everyone crowds into your room? NOTHING wrong with that. It is your new family's special time. I think it was entirely inappropriate of your inlaws to even bring this up with you.
That is not fair at all, I would tell your in-laws tough luck, I don't want you in there, and if you are going to have a problem with it then so be it! They should be understanding about that. I don't want either my mom or MIL in the delivery room. My mom didn't want to be in there which is fine with me, my MIL does want to be in there, but she is understanding about it. I don't want my sister in there either, that would be weird.....
Where was DH during this sit down with his folks? Of course it is your decision, and many women want to have their mom by their side in uncomfortable situations! You decide, and tell hubby to get on board with itand he should back you with his folks. You're a family now, and families stand by each other's decisions. You might as well start putting your foot down now, because you're both going to have to when kids come! Good luck!
OMG your DH need to get a hold of himself and need to be there for you.the in law are crazy as always and no they wont be in the room if you don't want them to your DH need to support you on this one.
I had my mom and fiance in the room with me, but they way I saw it, I came out of my mom and she has held my hand through everything over the years. If my fiance's parents had told me that it wasn't fair that I didn't want them there, I would've told them to f off. It is a deeply private moment that doesn't need to be shared with everyone for the sake of being fair. Is it fair to make you uncomfortable on one of the biggest days of your life? Is it even fair to corner you when you are 38 weeks for the sole purpose of making you feel bad? When you are in labor, you should get the final say on what goes down in the room, including who is invited in. You are the one doing all the work. You have carried that child for 40 weeks. You are the one with your whole self on display. That said, your comfort that day is far more important than being fair to your in-laws. They need to grow up if they insist on fighting you over this.
I know that it will be you doing all the work but you and your hubby are a team, you need to express exactly how you feel to him and both discus and agree on whom you are comfortable with in the delivery room. I am a private person and hubs and I have agreed it will only be us in the room regardless of any hurt feelings. It's you and your hubby's baby.. Not your in laws and if you want momma in there, you do what you and hubby want to do plain and simple
Ok so yes, it is your body parts on display but this is your and your DH's kid so he does sort of get a vote.I would first talk to my DH and talk to him about what your opinions are on this topic and ask him if he would want your mother there for his prostate exam. (try and put the whole thing on a level perspective). I would also talk to him for his reasons for not wanting your mother in the room. Before you make a decision give yourself a few days to cool off and think about it. If you do decide your ILs will not be in the room, I would then talk with my DH in the room to my ILs and ask them to wait until you are done talking before they comment. I would then tell them that you are uncomfortable with them being there, explaining your reasons and then talk about the bond you have with your mother and why she gets to be in the room. I would also try to think of something special they can do with or for the baby once it is born that only they will be able to do and your mom won't be involved in. Their special thing can be something you don't even care about but make it seem like it is SUPER important. I know it is hard to not be possessive when talking about delivery but your DH does get a vote.
Vent away Momma! Also stand your ground, I had this argument a million times with my son's birth. As for your DH, tell him that you'd like him to take a minute and think of it this way, if he was having surgery on his penis would he want your mother in the room? Or would he be requesting that it stay more private?
As for when you choose to have visitors, this is YOUR child and YOUR time, don't let anyone pressure you into anything.
I ended up talking to my mid-wife alone and explaining my concerns, she played "door keeper" when I went into active labor she laid out the rules explicitly and politely citing concern for my stress level with that many people as the reason for her kicking everyone to the waiting room. Maybe having your OB/GYN help to enforce rules would be a great route for you if it gets to be too much of a guilt trip from your MIL/FIL.
Absolutely ridiculous! No way are you being selfish! It's your choice. I would tell them to stick it where the sun doesn't shine! What does your husband say about this?
I love my in laws, but would never dream of them being in the delivery room. Maybe they are slightly jealous that your mom will be in the room? Maybe you could designate time just to them after the baby is born or something. Like a negotiation.
Is this the first grand kid? If not maybe talk to the. Other siblings to get some insight. But I would say heck no!
I am right there with you. My parents won't be able to be there because my husband and I live in Europe and my parents are in the US, but my MIL was seriously offended when I insisted that only me and my husband were in the room for the delivery. She was even more upset when I requested that we not have any visitors, aside from MIL & FIL for the first day. The problem is that my MIL works at the hospital that I am having the baby at and has already invited all of her friends to come meet the baby. This made me livid because I don't even know these people or speak the language so I am beyond stressed about this. I think this should be family only time. Furthermore, I am having a CSection so I will be more than out of it and don't need a bunch of my MILs "friends" around me wanting to socialize. My husband is a total Mamas boy so she is now mad at him for expressing my wishes.
End Rant
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So from day one I only wanted my husband and mother in the delivery room with me, but the other day at 38 weeks my MIL and FIL sat me down for a talk. They told me that are always left out (constantly make themselves the victims) and that they should be in the room too, and that DH and I's decision to have bonding time with baby before visitors came in was selfish. Basically they had me crying telling me that I was treating them unfairly for an hour. It was horrible. Talked to DH about how uncomfortable I would be, especially with FIL, my own dad isn't in coming in there. So DH says if I don't want them in there then my mother shouldn't be either because it wouldn't be fair, SERIOUSLY!! Is it just me or should what the woman who will be giving birth get to decide this and not be questioned on it. I am now torn I don't want to fight with my husband or in laws but I want to have a comfortable environment while in labor.
If DH ever dared to say that to me, he wouldn't be allowed in the delivery room, either. You should have a say in who gets to see your vajayjay on display.
What does your husband say about this talk? I would be super uncomfortable if I was treated like that! I say you let who you want in, and they cant meet their grandchild when you and your husband have had bonding time and are ready.
I want to tell you a story: 7 years ago I gave birth the day before Thanksgiving to my first child. I was not married and fairly young (so easily a pushover about my birth plans). My boyfriends mother had been horrible during the pregnancy but she too always played the victim. I told her (and my boyfriend) many times that I did not want her in the delivery room when I gave birth that it should just be something shared between us as birth isn't a spectator sport.
When I was 37 weeks they induced me because they thought my son was almost 12 lbs! My boyfriend was at work and we knew we had hours to go so his mother ended up driving me to the hospital. She insisted she was only going to be there until someone else arrived to sit with me and surprisingly she acted like a comforting human being during the poking, prodding and set up. I was admitted at 7p.m. on a Tuesday and proceeded to have 18 hours of labor. During my labor (and what seemed like the roughest contractions) my boyfriends mom answered her cell phone. Usually the conversation went like this:
Her: Hello? Oh sitting here watching (insert my name here) have a contraction...OH! What a funny face she's making!
I'm not kidding when I say the phone calls went on and on and on. My mother, who lived six hours away arrived about 12 hours into my labor and was a great source of comfort...she was appalled that my boyfriends mom kept answering her phone. Finally, when it was time for me to push my boyfriends mom turned on the T.V. and proceeded to provide a running commentary of the Andy Griffith show. She also continued to answer her phone and it seemed like she was yelling into the phone that there was no baby yet and I was in the process of pushing as they spoke. The final straw was when the baby was crowning and she said "God! Just hurry up! I'm exhausted!" I stopped mid-push sat up and definitely said in an exorcist tone "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!! JUST GET OUT!"
She excused herself into the hall and proceeded to cry and grab her son as soon as he exited our room to go with the baby to the nursery. She attempted to guilt trip him about how this was his first child and she just wanted to be there etc. Anyway, she rarely left the hospital in the two days I was recovering before being sent home. Then I asked her to leave us alone for the weekend when we were sent home so that her son and I could have some time to acclimate and bond as a family. She came over the next day and after a long and rough night with a gassy baby I was trying to sleep when the baby slept. I had just put my son down for a nap about thirty minutes before and she came into the bedroom, pulled my son out of his crib (woke him up) and then proceeded to sit in front of the open backdoor, smoke a cigarette and hold my child (and again this was the month of November). I woke up, freaked out because of her lack of respect and she promptly called me a b*%#h and left.
My point is this: It is your day, you are giving birth to the baby you have a right to decide who will be there and who will not. It's common for maternal grandmothers to join in the delivery room but not paternal ones because there just isn't the same comfort level there. If you don't draw your line in the sand now your opinions, thoughts, and way of parenting will never be respected. Your husband can deal with his parents and if he doesn't labor and delivery nurses are always glad to clear a room for an unhappy mommy. Good Luck!
It's your baby and IF this is selfish, then so be it. Did your MIL have her in laws in the delivery room??? NO...didn't think so. So deal with it people.
Your DH needs stand by you...and if he can't understand then ask him to lay down on the bed for your mom and dad to sit next to him and "hang out" while he poops - doesn't sound to comfortable physically and mentally right???
Re: MIL wants in the delivery room! (Need to Vent)
my Dr's general rule of thumb is that if you weren't in the room for conception, you're not in the room for delivery. (minus medical staff)
I'm going through the exact same thing. You are not the selfish one, they are. They aren't considering your feelings at all. This is YOUR moment with YOUR baby and you should have who you want to have in that room. They aren't even considering how overwhelmed you'd be with that many people there. My in laws are just as selfish and I've had to put my foot down. Ultimately, it's hard, but it is not fair what they're doing to you.
I love Dr's like this! I don't think you're still preggo by now, however, everyone here is right. It is your body being exposed to everyone in the room. It was uncomfortable enough for me to have the dr and nurses in there looking at me. It was even a little weird for my mom to be there too. But, I didn't get to have a vaginal birth.. had to have a c-section so there was only one person allowed in the surgery room anyway. One thing I was absolutely livid about is that I wasn't allowed to see my family/friends until the next day. Visiting hours were over at 8pm and my son was born at 7:44PM. It was all my hubby could do to beg them to wait long enough for my MIL to get there. Even then they only got to see my son for a few minutes before they were pushed out the door by the hospital. And the hospital knew this was our first child!! I will never ever go back to that hospital. I'd rather have my baby in the car on the way to the next hospital.
I struggled with something similar: My MIL wanted to fly in for the birth and my own mother wanted DH to videotape the whole thing, which grossed him out immensely.
We kindly told everyone this was the time for us to focus on our LO and being new parents (first baby) and we'd gladly take photos [no video] & welcome visitors after she was born. My MIL came out 3 wks. later and while I occasionally bristled at all the extra hands involved, I appreciated the help. Ask your in-laws if they could help in preparing meals you can freeze and warm up or get the nursery ready. This will help them in feeling needed.
Trust, if you're uncomfortable, it'll make labor even longer.
I had to deal with my psycho MIL for 10 days after the baby came. She flew in and stayed on my couch. Now one would THINK that the whole point of coming to stay after your son and DIL had a baby was to help and cook and clean but nope. We cooked and cleaned up after her and at the time we had a hue ant problem too and chauffeured her around. It was completely ridiculous. When she left she started this BIG fight saying I disrespected her and she didn't get to hold the baby enough and all this outrageous crap so she said because of me she is never coming back to California.
My point is good riddance. If a woman is going to stress you out and make you feel even more emotional than you already are DO NOT feel bad if you "offend" her by telling her flat out NO. And as for your hubby...tell him to grow a pair he's about to be a FATHER and if he doesn't stand up to his weird a parents now things are going to be much worse later when they try and shove their ideas and parenting ways down your throats later.
I HATE my in laws and my husbands sister, yet I try and be nice. I know of I was in your shoes I'd PUT MY FOOT DOWN NOW! And say sorry but NO!
I hope the best for you and your baby and I hope you have a good relationship with the in laws
My advice tell your husband to get control of the reins and he will let them know when they are welcome at the hospital. If they violate your boundaries then there must be a consequence. When they act like a 2 year old you have no choice but to treat them that way. If you allow them to break your rule/boundaries once they will do it forever. There must be a consequence. This is your husband's battle, not yours. Don't let them husband and his parents make it your battle/problem. Personally, I would have your husband tell his parents not to contact you again, at least during the pregnancy considering the stress and emotional roller coaster they just added to your life. As such consequence, his parents are to only call the husband with questions about the baby/you. They are not welcome at the hospital until invited.
Trust me, I'm on year 5 in this battle with a 2.5 year old. I can tell you
any stories, but what you need is a husband with some balls that has actually "leaved and cleaved" from his parents to you. I hope this helps.
Agreed completely.
This is nuts! It stresses me out just thinking about if this happened to me. You have so many good responses here. Explaining that your doctor would only like two guests in the room is a good suggestion. I could also see room for compromize by asking your mother to leave after the baby is born to return with his parents after you have had bonding time. I think that it is UNFAIR that your inlaws cornered you like this and they do not see your best intrest as a priority.
Point Blank- Its your birth. I wish my mom was there for my first. It took some time for the placenta to come out and I was still being tended to by the doctor while my husband held our son. It felt like there was alot going on. He couldn't be by my side like I would have liked. Another voice reminding me that everything is ok would have helped. On the other hand, sometimes things are perfect and you could let your mom know as soon as things are over she should quietly excuse herself until invited back in to meet the LO since her job of supporting you will be over at that time.
I wish you the best!
Me too!!!
That is not fair at all, I would tell your in-laws tough luck, I don't want you in there, and if you are going to have a problem with it then so be it! They should be understanding about that. I don't want either my mom or MIL in the delivery room. My mom didn't want to be in there which is fine with me, my MIL does want to be in there, but she is understanding about it. I don't want my sister in there either, that would be weird.....
If you do decide your ILs will not be in the room, I would then talk with my DH in the room to my ILs and ask them to wait until you are done talking before they comment. I would then tell them that you are uncomfortable with them being there, explaining your reasons and then talk about the bond you have with your mother and why she gets to be in the room. I would also try to think of something special they can do with or for the baby once it is born that only they will be able to do and your mom won't be involved in. Their special thing can be something you don't even care about but make it seem like it is SUPER important.
I know it is hard to not be possessive when talking about delivery but your DH does get a vote.
Vent away Momma! Also stand your ground, I had this argument a million times with my son's birth. As for your DH, tell him that you'd like him to take a minute and think of it this way, if he was having surgery on his penis would he want your mother in the room? Or would he be requesting that it stay more private?
As for when you choose to have visitors, this is YOUR child and YOUR time, don't let anyone pressure you into anything.
I ended up talking to my mid-wife alone and explaining my concerns, she played "door keeper" when I went into active labor she laid out the rules explicitly and politely citing concern for my stress level with that many people as the reason for her kicking everyone to the waiting room. Maybe having your OB/GYN help to enforce rules would be a great route for you if it gets to be too much of a guilt trip from your MIL/FIL.
Be strong sweetie!!
Absolutely ridiculous! No way are you being selfish! It's your choice. I would tell them to stick it where the sun doesn't shine! What does your husband say about this?
I love my in laws, but would never dream of them being in the delivery room. Maybe they are slightly jealous that your mom will be in the room? Maybe you could designate time just to them after the baby is born or something. Like a negotiation.
Is this the first grand kid? If not maybe talk to the. Other siblings to get some insight. But I would say heck no!
I am right there with you. My parents won't be able to be there because my husband and I live in Europe and my parents are in the US, but my MIL was seriously offended when I insisted that only me and my husband were in the room for the delivery. She was even more upset when I requested that we not have any visitors, aside from MIL & FIL for the first day. The problem is that my MIL works at the hospital that I am having the baby at and has already invited all of her friends to come meet the baby. This made me livid because I don't even know these people or speak the language so I am beyond stressed about this. I think this should be family only time. Furthermore, I am having a CSection so I will be more than out of it and don't need a bunch of my MILs "friends" around me wanting to socialize. My husband is a total Mamas boy so she is now mad at him for expressing my wishes.
End Rant
If DH ever dared to say that to me, he wouldn't be allowed in the delivery room, either. You should have a say in who gets to see your vajayjay on display.
What does your husband say about this talk? I would be super uncomfortable if I was treated like that! I say you let who you want in, and they cant meet their grandchild when you and your husband have had bonding time and are ready.
I want to tell you a story: 7 years ago I gave birth the day before Thanksgiving to my first child. I was not married and fairly young (so easily a pushover about my birth plans). My boyfriends mother had been horrible during the pregnancy but she too always played the victim. I told her (and my boyfriend) many times that I did not want her in the delivery room when I gave birth that it should just be something shared between us as birth isn't a spectator sport.
When I was 37 weeks they induced me because they thought my son was almost 12 lbs! My boyfriend was at work and we knew we had hours to go so his mother ended up driving me to the hospital. She insisted she was only going to be there until someone else arrived to sit with me and surprisingly she acted like a comforting human being during the poking, prodding and set up. I was admitted at 7p.m. on a Tuesday and proceeded to have 18 hours of labor. During my labor (and what seemed like the roughest contractions) my boyfriends mom answered her cell phone. Usually the conversation went like this:
Her: Hello? Oh sitting here watching (insert my name here) have a contraction...OH! What a funny face she's making!
I'm not kidding when I say the phone calls went on and on and on. My mother, who lived six hours away arrived about 12 hours into my labor and was a great source of comfort...she was appalled that my boyfriends mom kept answering her phone. Finally, when it was time for me to push my boyfriends mom turned on the T.V. and proceeded to provide a running commentary of the Andy Griffith show. She also continued to answer her phone and it seemed like she was yelling into the phone that there was no baby yet and I was in the process of pushing as they spoke. The final straw was when the baby was crowning and she said "God! Just hurry up! I'm exhausted!" I stopped mid-push sat up and definitely said in an exorcist tone "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!! JUST GET OUT!"
She excused herself into the hall and proceeded to cry and grab her son as soon as he exited our room to go with the baby to the nursery. She attempted to guilt trip him about how this was his first child and she just wanted to be there etc. Anyway, she rarely left the hospital in the two days I was recovering before being sent home. Then I asked her to leave us alone for the weekend when we were sent home so that her son and I could have some time to acclimate and bond as a family. She came over the next day and after a long and rough night with a gassy baby I was trying to sleep when the baby slept. I had just put my son down for a nap about thirty minutes before and she came into the bedroom, pulled my son out of his crib (woke him up) and then proceeded to sit in front of the open backdoor, smoke a cigarette and hold my child (and again this was the month of November). I woke up, freaked out because of her lack of respect and she promptly called me a b*%#h and left.
My point is this: It is your day, you are giving birth to the baby you have a right to decide who will be there and who will not. It's common for maternal grandmothers to join in the delivery room but not paternal ones because there just isn't the same comfort level there. If you don't draw your line in the sand now your opinions, thoughts, and way of parenting will never be respected. Your husband can deal with his parents and if he doesn't labor and delivery nurses are always glad to clear a room for an unhappy mommy. Good Luck!
NO NO NO!!! Your vagina your call.
It's your baby and IF this is selfish, then so be it. Did your MIL have her in laws in the delivery room??? NO...didn't think so. So deal with it people.
Your DH needs stand by you...and if he can't understand then ask him to lay down on the bed for your mom and dad to sit next to him and "hang out" while he poops - doesn't sound to comfortable physically and mentally right???