IVF Single Mom By Choice

jayceebabi

Anyone else a SMBC going through IVF in January?

rainbowwishes5

I'm not single but I wish you luck! And welcome!

jayceebabi

Thank you so much! It took a lot of soul searching to get me here.

SBump

@jayceebabi, I'm single and doing an egg freezing cycle starting stimulation 1/27. I have low ovarian reserve due to endometriosis. I know it's not the same as planning to do pregnancy and motherhood alone. However, I can understand just how hard it is to make these decisions and go through treatments alone. It's exciting but a bit scary.

jayceebabi

@sbump I hope everything goes well for you! I have been on stems for 5 days and I have a crazy headache and sooooo sleepy. I have had 4 myomectomy procedures to remove fibroids and my Dr pretty much said do it now or never do it. I am going to attempt and if it doesn't work out at least I will have some embryos that I could possibly have someone else carry. 

hibiscus118

I'm not single but I wish you both the best!   

jayceebabi

Thank you so much @hibiscus118 !! You too!! When is your FET?

hibiscus118

@jayceebabi I'm not sure yet.  I just started the BCP a couple days ago.  It's looking like the end of feb or beginning of March.   When I was doing stims a couple months ago I really started noticing the side effects around days 4 and 5.  Not fun but crossing my fingers for you! 

jayceebabi

FX for you as well @hibiscus118 I am scheduled Wednesday for ER. I go in the morning for my first sono since I started stims. I hope everything is looking good. I have been feeling tightness and some little twings in my ovary area I hope thats a good sign.

SBump

@jaceebaby, I'm single and doing egg freezing. Wishing all the best for you! I hope you feel better soon. Have you had to take much time off work for the headaches/side effects?

gwinnyblack

Good luck! 
I am married and now looking for a new start for our ivf journey.

jayceebabi

@SBump i havent had to take any time off. I just stay hydrated and keep pushing! I scheduled my ER and day after off though.

jayceebabi

@gwinnyblack Good luck! Fingers crossed for you! It is definitely a journey!

Hopeful_mom

best of luck to you, my partner and I aren't married yet as this needed to take priority.  I give you all the credit in the world, I did a lot of this on my own, from the injections down to the transfer.  He did get their after, but it is what it is, this is a long process and work and life will get in the way.  Its not easy for a strong couple to get through let a lone just a strong person.  Always here to chat if you need to, good luck!  Hope your follies are cooperating and you get a bunch of mature ones!

funkykey

@jayceebabi - I'm not single, but just wanted to wish you luck, and say I think what you're doing is very brave. I have a fibroid that is not affecting our fertility, but they do run in my family, and a few of my relatives have had to have hysterectomies because of the fibroids - fibroids are a b*tch, and I think my clock has been ticking extra because of them. I hope you get lots of support here!

gwinnyblack

Thank you very much! 

prudence9-2

Good luck!

I'm also single (and this is my first post here ;-)) I did the IVF back in November and the FET on 1/31... 

Hopeful_mom

@prudence9 good luck!  What protocol did you use during your IVF cycle?  You had a great response? hoping you see your BFP this cycle?

prudence9-2

Hi @Hopeful_mom
for my IVF I was on Gonal & menopur. And then after few days genirelix was added. 

famiylgrl86

@jayceebabi Good luck!! I am also doing ivf as SMBC. I started stimming Friday night. I'll have my first checkup Wednesday morning. How has your cycle been?

Sweetdrms182

@jayceebabi - I'm also a SMBC. Had my retrieval in November and just had my FET on Friday. Best of luck to you

LoveDontCostAThing

@jayceebabi -I think it's very awesome and brave of you to do this alone.  I am not single, but sometimes this process can feel lonely.  The thing is my husband was married before and did ivf in that marriage--it didn't work, and they divorced soon after anyway.  Well, he is a bit older than me, and he was 100% honest when we first started dating that he couldn't conceive naturally.  Flash forward to now--we did a few natural things that this one dr. suggested we try while waiting for our new insurance.  Then, moved to ivf...you can see from my signature we had two FETS--one failed and one chemical.  The point I am getting at is that my husband has basically been doing this for a long time, and I get that.  He's tired of it and sometimes says he doesn't care anymore.  I think it's half true and half a self-defense mechanism because when I was very briefly pregnant with the chemical, he was very excited.  We have been married for only 1.5 years, and he says it's taken over our marriage and we never had time to enjoy just each other.  UGH I am stimming now (he's not thrilled, but accepting it) and just hoping it will work soon because I don't know how much more he will take!  Ahhh...sorry so long, but I guess I am thinking this: single or not, this can feel lonely sometimes no matter what

rainbowwishes5

@Prudence9 sounds like you were on antagonist protocol - the lightest one med-wise. Amazing'

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9  did you get your bfp, came circling back, hope so!!

@LoveDontCostAThing i read ur post and it touched me as I just complained about OH on another thread (not my first rodeo)  I'm in a similar situation BUT mine already has kids so why would he want to continue with this.  Our jobs keep us a part ALOT so i really had went to every appt and everything on my own, even IUIs he would drop me off and not even stay with me.  For my transfer he showed up after it was done...its tough but when u know what u want u push ahead!  (***TW loss mentioned) I recently finally got my bfp with twins no less so i was excited and double blessed finally (ive been at this for a while but got my BFP on my first transfer) OH wouldn't even acknowledge them as he was angry i had 2 and didn't want to get excited till after first trimester...which is such a slap in the face to me BUT he experienced MC prior and thats how he deals with it...and where does that put me...ALONE!!!
i MC at almost 10w...wont get into the details but it was terrible and hah to be rushed to the hospital) (***TW OVER) He still doesn't give me what i need BUT i will say because of everything I went through it scared him and he hasn't really missed too many appt since soooooo hoping this time around will be different.  Its lonely depending on the guy for sure!  Where are you at now?

liljoy-2

@Hopeful_mom My husband didn't come with me at appointments, IUIs, etc. He was only there for ERs and procedures involving anesthesia. It's not that he doesn't care but he usually doesn't find the need to "babysit" me. He says he has important things to do like working and bringing home "the bacon". I kind of understand that and never expected him to come to appointments. I do feel alone though emotionally because although he really wants a baby, he kind of avoids the convos and is reluctant to make lifestyle changes such as alcohol, long hot baths, plant based diet, etc. 

LoveDontCostAThing

@Hopeful_mom -I am so sorry to hear about your MC...that's awful, and you don't have to elaborate if you don't want to.  

I feel like I always read about so many super supportive husbands, and it's not that mine isn't supportive...I think my husband is literally running low on support.  I am happy to meet someone who can relate.  He had a MC during his first marriage via IVF.  Then, we had the failed FET, followed by the chemical.  All this an only being married about 1.5 years.  In one way, the chemical was helpful for me to see his initial reaction to pregnancy...he was really happy.  After the first failed FET he bought me flowers and a card.  I feel bad for him because I think he is "so over it," but I understand why...he's been at this a lot longer than me with negative results.

You asked where I am at now...so I had a blood/ ultrasound today and my ER might be as soon as Sunday.  My husband's reaction was that he already made plans on Sunday and it's an inconvenience.  I told him it's an inconvenience for me too lol.  But he thinks I rushed going back into this...he wanted to take a break.  I wanted to push forward.  So he thinks he's being supportive for letting me push forward...lol it's a mess.  It's all just so draining.  Where are you at now?  Would love to talk to you more!  

Hopeful_mom

@LoveDontCostAThing hey I PM you and gave you an earful for sure  How many follies are they seeing??  You had FET, so you dont have any frosties left?  I've never had any but really praying i will this cycle.  Its very exciting you're so close!!  I want to give ur OH a lil hit on the head!  As I get it its not convenient for anyone...I cant even get started with my job.  I'm right there with you on his feelings, like hes allowing it so thats his support.  I think its smart to get right back on track.  I want to get back to being pregnant right away.  I'm also 40 so time unfortunately is not on my side  I almost feel like thats the whole problem.  People make it seem like 40 is the new 30 but its really not!

@bestofjoy LMAO!!  I'm glad I'm not the only one!!  Literally those originally were the only things he came for (anything with anesthesia)...he didn't even come for my first US.  I won't even get into that, I have my videos of the US, but how it didn't count for him still upsets me.  Hes been a good boy and hasn't missed an appt since my ordeal happen.  Just a blood test which is fine.  However as for the bacon...I'm the one running to work after, so he cant use that one with me right now...trust I rather I wasn't rushing off to work  We are all here for you, its really hard!  I will say I see when I push some conversations that its worse because i get so upset and then he never wants to do this again.  SO now i'm just trying to be.  Totally side note, a friend of mine was having an argument over baby names.  My attitude was you're going through allof this you should have the say, her husband adds, YOUR ONLY AN INCUBATOR.  OMG is he kidding me, yea and we cant have a beer after work like you right.  You think he was my husband I was so angry.  FF to my OH and I arguing over names.  After everything I"m going through how can he argu with me on names.  He has kids and already has the names he wanted....men, can't live with them can't live with out them!

LoveDontCostAThing

@Hopeful_mom --I'll check your message next!!  I did do two FETs, so I don't have any frosties left.  I was apparently born with one ovary (just my luck--less eggs) so I originally got 13 eggs, 10 mature, 7 fertilized.  I did a 3-day transfer of two embryos--BFN.  Then, I rolled the dice and took the remaining five out to grow to blastocysts...two made it, and the others were lagging behind, and they deemed not refreezable.  Transferred the two...chemical pregnancy....soooo here I am today.  I think I am doing better this cycle...today I had blood/ ultrasound, and I have 10 follicles over 10mm (two are 18mm!) and four less than 10mm.  BUT it's all about quality...so I am hoping!!  Okay, off to read your message

littledarlins

Im new to the Bump, and i am single, and doing this with a friend who is the donor.  He did his initial part, but then after the first disappointment I had with the thawing, I decided I would rather wait until I can give him good news.  I had an ER today, and for being 47, it went pretty well, but Ill have to see how things look in a few days.  Then I can give him an update. I hadnt really thought about the alone part too much, and honestly, I will try to just keep rolling a little at a time, or it seems insurmountable.  Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....

liljoy-2

@littledarlins Welcome here. I think taking it one day at a time is the way to go. I'm also impressed that you were able to do ER at 47. Are you in the US by any chance? I'm asking this because I know here they won't do retrievals after age 43 or so and I think there shouldn't be an age cut. 

littledarlins

thank you  @bestofjoy.  Yes i am in the US and i had to look around.  There are a few clinics whose cut off is 45, but I also found this one which is open to older patients.  I am happy to send you the details- I dont know yet if it is permissable to mention particular clinics and doctors on here.   But I think it really has more to do with the testing than the age.  I have an unusually good AMH for my age, so when I went to meet with one of the best clinics, the doctor said he would check with their main lab and see if they would make an exception.  Some labs have techniques that are specific to mature eggs, and that is what I ended up looking for.  
But I am not in the clear yet; I have to wait a few days to see how these little darlins make it being fertilized and if they dont, then the Dr said he will not encourage another attempt at my own eggs.  So, praying.

Hopeful_mom

@littledarlins wow thats amazing good for you!!  If you dont mind me asking what is your AMH? How many eggs did you get at ER and what was your protocol.  Hoping you get a great report!  Its a very tough journey no matter at any age!  I've seen people post clinics names and such, no one seemed to have an issue...and if not you can always PM.  You're very kind to think of your donors disappointment, you're the one doing the heavy lifting.  Best of luck to you, please keep us updated!!  I'm 40 with low AMH so my clock is ticking even though people still think i'm in my 30s.. I truly wish age was only but a number.

@LoveDontCostAThing  i love ur name buy the way, love dont cost a thing but baby making sure does  We have to try to find the humor in this when we can!  I hear you on quality over quantity that what I pray for all the time as I only get a few , it only take one!!  You did have a promising first round, even getting double digits.  I'm surprised with the amount that you had at ER and fertilized they did a day 3 transfer.  I thought with older woman and less eggs they do a 3 day transfer.  What day of stemming are you on?  sending u continued success that everything keeps growing together and mature for u. 

LoveDontCostAThing

@Hopeful_mom -I just posted my update in the March IVF thread, but I'll paste it here: 
I just talked to my dr.  I'm in a weird predicament...well, not that weird lol.  My follicles are all different sizes.  I have 11 follicles that are between 13.3 and 21mm.  My progesterone is 1.25.  They can trigger me tonight, but risk not having as many mature or trigger me tomorrow, but risk my progesterone reaching 2.0, and then I would have to freeze because they want the level whatever they want it...I don't know.  Anyway, he recommended triggering tomorrow, which I am going to do to try to get as many mature as possible.  There is a chance I can still do a fresh, depending on my bloods tomorrow...but I may have to freeze   I never did a fresh, and I wanted to!

Also, thanks for the compliment about my name...my last name is also Cost, so it was quite fitting

littledarlins

@Hopeful_mom  and @bestofjoy The New Hope Clinic in New York does mini IVF, I think their cut off is 45.  The Colorado Clinic has a cut off at 45, but they do not do Mini IVF, but they told me they would consider a higher cut off age because my levels were above normal.  I am going to the St Louis Clinic.  This doctor doesnt really care about AMH as much as a follicle count.  My AMH was .633 before i started all this stuff, I dont know if it has changed.  This is the Mini IVF plan, where you use mild stimulation, and try for just a few eggs that are really mature, and then repeat until you have enough stored up.  The eggs are fetilized and frozen as embryos at 3 days,  and transfer doesnt happen until the uterus is back to normal thickness, the idea to prevent miscarriage.  So you wait and then transfer.

 I am really pulling out the prayers because we retrieved 4 eggs and 1 is fertilized and happy, and 2 are happy but not fertilized yet and the other one was not happy.  I am praying for at least one success so the Doc will give a go ahead for another stim cycle. Sunday is the finish line, and I have to wait and hear Monday and it is really nerve wracking!

liljoy-2

@littledarlins Thanks for the info! I think you did great having 4 eggs on a mini-IVF, good luck with the freezing, please keep us posted. What was the exact mini-IVF protocol? My RE called mini 150u Gonal+75 Menopur antagonist protocol, but this sounds standard to me. I would think mini is clomid or femara plus a couple of gonal injections of 75u maybe?

littledarlins

@bestofjoy  I took Clomid for a few days, then had 150 of follistim alternating days, 4 doses in all.  I had 1 dose of ganirelix, and then the 2 of Lurpon with a pill Indocin.  And thats all.  WAY less than the last time i did this, which was like 2 and then 3 injections everyday.  I still got emotional, went to the movies and cried a bunch! But the last time, it was so bad, i called my boss from the Whole Foods Parking lot, where i purchased a Bee Gees CD and was just crying in the car, listening to How Deep is your Love.  She knew what was going on and told me to just go home!  too funny.

littledarlins

@LoveDontCostAThing  please let us know how it goes!

LoveDontCostAThing

I am triggering tonight at 11:00pm!  I have 12 follicles between 12.6-22.3mm and some <10mm.  I am hoping some of the 12 and 13mm ones catch up.  I am taking one more 150 does of menopur tonight, and ER on Monday.  They said my progesterone went down, so I can do a fresh!  If they weren't worried about my LH surge/ levels, then I could stim longer...they said my body is liking these meds...but they are worried I'll ovulate, so it's ok...I'll trigger...can't blow the cycle!

Hopeful_mom

wow its a busy board for the weekend how nice!

@littledarlins wow you did great on a mini IVF, usually they say your lucky if you get 2-3 eggs.  I've heard of mini stemming and if my last IVF cycle didn't work I was considering it....I'm still not sure what the right protocol really is for me!  How long ago did they do the ER?  How long do they wait to freeze?  Hope things continue moving in the right direction, certainly sounds like it, keep us posted.  Thanks for the info.  I didn't know there was a clinic that dealt more with that in NY.

@LoveDontCostAThing  WOW sounds awesome!!  sounds like you have a great shot of getting those smaller ones to mature in time for ER, thats why they're giving u a lil extra before u trigger.  Is hubby giving u the shot.  Trigger for IVF is much harder then IUI thats for sure!  I owe u a msg, it deleted before posting  thrilled ur ovary is being such a super star!!  Funny I haven't even thought of joining a board yet...I'm gonna see how the patches treat me.  Please keep us updated...this will be your cycle!!  hey this means OH doesn't have to change his plans lmao!!  be kind to yourself and just relax and enjoy the weekend

@bestofjoy   I think each place does mini ivf differently, my dr also mentioned it was more of taking climid and 75/150 menupur it also depends on how u react to meds.  For me they r super aggressive and i take between 450/600 of meds a cycle....sad is that so far I produced almost the same amount as being on climid once...since i have the meds i'm going to use them so we shall see

LoveDontCostAThing

@Hopeful_mom -hello!  I am giving myself the trigger in about 10 minutes...ahh.  I think this is my 3rd trigger.  We did one IUI, and that was before I was used to ANY needles, so my husband gave me it then.  I did it last time.  I have my numbing patches so I am good to go.  What patches are you on, that you mentioned?  And haha...my husband changed his plans, and now we go Monday instead...whoooops.  He's being a trooper in his own way.  I just keep trying to remember that this is all hard for him too even though he acts like he doesn't want it at time...I think he's afraid of it never working...who knows.  But tonight he got us take-out from Outback because I was too tired to go out.  These meds have made me tired just the last couple of days.  I really hope this is my cycle...we will see.

tvh1982

****lurker****trigger warming****

I just saw this post and felt like jumping in. 
I did IVF and am a SMBC. 
Its been a tough process and having friends and family that support you is definitely a must.
I was 'lucky' to meet a colleague that had been through IVF and helped me through the ups and downs.
***trigger warning*** 
I now have a 4 month old after 6IUI, 1 Fresh IVF and 2FET.
Not only the getting pregnant part, but also the being pregnant part was tough (I got hypermesis gravidadrum) and decided to move closer to family. (lived in a different country)
Once my DD was born (also not without complications) I was glad my family supported me. And I believe it's important to have someone around you trust 100% with a newborn. As my DD has cowsmilk allergy and our first weeks were hell of no sleep at all! So one needs to be able to accept help, cause it definitely can be tough.
BUT sooooooo worth it! So I'm sending all of you ladies lots and lots of baby dust. May this though journey soon give you the best gift in the world.