Snarky Comebacks to People's Rude Questions

TattoosandLace

I've decided this pregnancy that I'm not going to take anyone's negativity or rude comments politely like I didn't with my first pregnancy. What are some replies you'll be making (or wish you could say) to other people's rude questions or comments?

TattoosandLace

My current favorite is when people say "they'll be so close in age! Were you trying?" to reply with "well, aren't you a rude one. Let's talk about your sex life?"

shanparadise

Someone gave me a great one on here the other day for when people tell me they just don't see how we're going to be able to handle twins. "I can see how you wouldn't be able to handle it but we've got it under control and we're very excited."

elenabrent

I've been responding to all the questions/comments/feedback with "this is our plan for now. I'll let you know if it changes." It's been REALLY helpful for people who have negative things to say about the choices we're making surrounding the birth.

As for the "were you trying" I could just smack people. When we were ttc I got really tired of being asked when we were planning on having kids and all that, so I started being really blunt. I love the idea of bringing up their sex life!

LF93

Those people that think you'll never do another thing with your life because you're having a baby! I constantly have some work colleagues tell me I should have went to college. "Oh I'm sorry, didn't I tell you I'm already qualified. I never realized I'd never do another thing with my life because I've become pregnant" The urge is so strong to tell them to shut the f*ck up! Another one I've heard is that just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm an invalid, sorry what? Just because I don't want to work on my first day off in a week doesn't give you the right to say shit like that! Idiots! 

[Deleted User]

I am getting so tired of people mentioning how soon after the wedding (7 months before BFP) we got pregnant... I wish I could be brave enough (and one of these times I might just lose it) and tell them that we didn't know going into this how babies were made, or something along those lines. I was also told the other day by someone I see pretty often, but am not friends with, how big I am getting.. I was thisclose to telling her that she's getting big too. And she's not pregnant.
 

thebigoaktree

My dh's friends wives: "oh so you're not going to focus on your career now." For real? I'm still going to school, I'm still going to school after the baby. I'm getting my ba. I don't know where this 1950's mind set came from but it needs to end. I've noticed it's also women that have made these comments and not men. 

thebigoaktree

Can I also add these pictures, even though it's not a comment. Some girl I know posted this on her Instagram knowing full well I'm pregnant. It wasn't so much the picture I think it was more the comment that she made underneath that pissed me off.

mandyjulie

I don't get these a lot; my resting bitch face is STRONG. But I expect "Will you try for a 3rd to have a boy?" to which I will likely say "When you do X!" inserting whatever they haven't yet done - get married, have a kid, second kid, etc. Nothing like throwing it back at them.

TattoosandLace

@mandyjulie since we found out that we're having our second girl, I'm starting to anticipate those comments, but I think the fact that we'll have 2 under 2 will deter those for awhile. 

kcossey528

mandyjulie said:

I don't get these a lot; my resting bitch face is STRONG. But I expect "Will you try for a 3rd to have a boy?" to which I will likely say "When you do X!" inserting whatever they haven't yet done - get married, have a kid, second kid, etc. Nothing like throwing it back at them.

Resting bitchface is what has kept me looking 20 for the past 10 years. 

TiffRox81

Just got a great comment on a FB post about my pedicure/massage chair experience I just had. "Be careful with those massage chairs during pregnancy!" Wtf. Am I missing something?! I'm tempted to write something snarky back but I guess I better do my homework. I found one article that says there's nothing wrong with them. It's not like I was sitting there for an hour!! We're talking maybe 10 minutes...

TattoosandLace

@tiffrox81 better be careful in those cars while pregnant too!

thebigoaktree

TiffRox81 said:

Just got a great comment on a FB post about my pedicure/massage chair experience I just had. "Be careful with those massage chairs during pregnancy!" Wtf. Am I missing something?! I'm tempted to write something snarky back but I guess I better do my homework. I found one article that says there's nothing wrong with them. It's not like I was sitting there for an hour!! We're talking maybe 10 minutes...

I dye my hair, the looks of shock from older women I work with. They do make all natural hair dye. 

abpl2014

One of my coworkers told me the other day "it will probably be hard to tell if your pregnant so I'm glad we know now so I don't have to try to guess if your pregnant or just gaining weight." Umm excuse me! Who says that!! I just walked away from her before I said something rude! Yes, I'm not the skinniest person but neither is she so she shouldn't be talking! Ughh some people! 

jennyleigh16

schaze said:

I am getting so tired of people mentioning how soon after the wedding (7 months before BFP) we got pregnant... I wish I could be brave enough (and one of these times I might just lose it) and tell them that we didn't know going into this how babies were made, or something along those lines. I was also told the other day by someone I see pretty often, but am not friends with, how big I am getting.. I was thisclose to telling her that she's getting big too. And she's not pregnant.
 

We were less than a month...the timing worked out and we got lucky, but I swear I can actually see people do the math after they ask how far along I am. 

I've been getting "Oh! you really look pregnant now!" Thanks??

I was also convinced we were having a girl and we just found out it's a boy,and I keep getting asked if I'm disappointed. Um.. no? We're having a healthy baby boy and I'm thrilled, not upset in the slightest. 

mandyjulie

@TattoosandLaceif it's not one thing it's another, isn't it? Funny you will get 2 under 2 comments. Mine will be 3.5 years apart and I know some think that's too far apart for them to be "close." Whatever.

TiffRox81

People are ridiculous. It never ceases to amaze me how little tact some people have. @abpl2014 Wow. That would have taken everything out of me to keep quiet!! I think with the FB crap I'm just going to choose to ignore them. Hopefully that sends a STFU message.

aimz2377

I'm also one with major resting bitch face and my face gives my opinions and comebacks for me. I work in an elementary school and another lady in the same grade is known to be a baby hog and has been paying me lots of extra attention lately. I was getting lunch in the cafeteria the other day and when I was asked if I wanted the (nasty, slimy) pinto beans, I declined. She was near me and shouts "I can't believe you're not feeding that baby those beans!" Apparently the look I gave her was comeback enough because she came up to me later on and apologized. Don't f'ing tell me what to eat. 

Edit - words

sunshineandwhiskey

1.  "Was it on purpose?"  
2.  "Don't you want to enjoy wedded bliss?" (we get married in march)
3.  "You don't want to find out the sex?  But I want to know!"
4.  "I thought you were looking pudgy."

I'm sure the advice/questions are just going to get worse through the rest of the pregnancy, and raising them.  And I really wish I was better at comebacks.  

DarkCat

I think the worst was my SIL telling me my MIL thought I had gained weight before we had announced. Because of morning sickness I had actually lost weight. But you can't tell because I'm overweight to begin with. Still rude though.

MamaBish

I haven't gotten any rude comments like that this time but last time we got a lot of "took you two long enough!" Pisses me off how others are so concerned with our procreation timing.

TattoosandLace

DeriveMyPi said:

1.  "Was it on purpose?"  
2.  "Don't you want to enjoy wedded bliss?" (we get married in march)
3.  "You don't want to find out the sex?  But I want to know!"
4.  "I thought you were looking pudgy."

I'm sure the advice/questions are just going to get worse through the rest of the pregnancy, and raising them.  And I really wish I was better at comebacks.  

1. The 5 year old in me wants to response "was your face on purpose?" But I don't advise that one.  
2. We're very happy with our family and looking forward to it growing. 
3. Damn, I'm sorry. I forgot where you were there for the conception so you get a say in finding out the sex. 
4. Well, you aren't looking slim yourself. 

MamaBish

TattoosandLace said:

DeriveMyPi said:

1.  "Was it on purpose?"  
2.  "Don't you want to enjoy wedded bliss?" (we get married in march)
3.  "You don't want to find out the sex?  But I want to know!"
4.  "I thought you were looking pudgy."

I'm sure the advice/questions are just going to get worse through the rest of the pregnancy, and raising them.  And I really wish I was better at comebacks.  

1. The 5 year old in me wants to response "was your face on purpose?" But I don't advise that one.  
2. We're very happy with our family and looking forward to it growing. 
3. Damn, I'm sorry. I forgot where you were there for the conception so you get a say in finding out the sex. 
4. Well, you aren't looking slim yourself. 

I'm cracking up at #1 lol
it makes me wish someone would ask us this just so I can say this!

sunshineandwhiskey

@TattoosandLace I lol'd at #1.  I may actually try it just to see the reaction.  you rock, thank you

TattoosandLace

DeriveMyPi said:

@TattoosandLace I lol'd at #1.  I may actually try it just to see the reaction.  you rock, thank you

Anything for you, boo. 

TiffRox81

Omg, she didn't stop. After our mutual friend (recently had a baby and broke about every given rule) came to the rescue and said she had pedicures and massages frequently, don't worry...I responded with how awesome it was and I plan to continue. Crazy chick then replied to my comment about how I need to do my homework before getting a massage. If I don't choose a proper therapist I can go into early labor. Chick, seriously. Shut up. I'm not going to some random hole in the wall asking for the $10 special. I'm pretty sure I know how to choose reputable masseuse. Geez!!! That one I can't respond to. She must have annoyed my friend too because she immediately texted me on the side. 

jlmartinez517

I haven't had anything too bad recently, but I don't think I'll ever forget my SIL's bitchy comment when she found out we were pregnant...

"I knew it! When you weren't drinking wine on Christmas, I figured you were pregnant. You constantly have a glass of wine glued to your hand!"

No congrats. No "I'm so happy for you". Just that.

Nikko Blue

TattoosandLace said:

@mandyjulie since we found out that we're having our second girl, I'm starting to anticipate those comments, but I think the fact that we'll have 2 under 2 will deter those for awhile. 

Not sure if I'm having a boy or girl yet, but this is what I'm dreading if it's another boy. It's annoying enough when people ask what I "want". After I said to one coworker that it didn't matter to me, she's like "what about your husband?"  Why does this matter? Like I'm supposed to choose one so that you can be disappointed for me if its the other? 

TattoosandLace

TiffRox81 said:

Omg, she didn't stop. After our mutual friend (recently had a baby and broke about every given rule) came to the rescue and said she had pedicures and massages frequently, don't worry...I responded with how awesome it was and I plan to continue. Crazy chick then replied to my comment about how I need to do my homework before getting a massage. If I don't choose a proper therapist I can go into early labor. Chick, seriously. Shut up. I'm not going to some random hole in the wall asking for the $10 special. I'm pretty sure I know how to choose reputable masseuse. Geez!!! That one I can't respond to. She must have annoyed my friend too because she immediately texted me on the side. 

"I think if I can handle choosing a reputable OB, I can handle choosing a reputable massage therapist."

noelietrex

@DeriveMyPi
1. We were fucking like bunnies if that's what you mean!
2. We obviously enjoyed it way too much *wink*
3. I'm sorry are you usually this into little kids junk? I mean that's kind of weird...
4. Haha at least I have an excuse! *stare at their midsection, raise eyebrows*

The only one that super bothers me is "were you trying"? To which I've started announcing "Well we weren't keeping our hands off each other!" or "Well we were humping like crazy if that's what you mean" or other awkward comments about how we have so much sex. People tend to think it's funny and I prefer that to having to really answer or get pissed every time.

People ask if we know the sex a lot too. I always say no we want to be surprised and that usually shuts it down. Sometimes they'll follow up with "Do you have an instinct about what it'll be?" That one could use some good snark...

TiffRox81

Oh and to those that have gotten the, "Wow, you're big for X weeks!" I find it equally as offensive when you're told the opposite. Anything having to do with size is annoying. Up until a week or two ago I was constantly getting the, You don't look pregnant! line. I'm sorry is there a specific look I should have?! Would you like to take some measurements and tell me where I fall? Are you accusing me of lying?? Ugh....at least we have this thread to vent on! Hopefully it keeps me from losing my mind in person!! Lol

Linsbins

One lady at work told me that she was glad I am pregnant because I was sure getting big. I've gained four lbs and my tummy pokes out a bit, but sure whatever. I'm sure if I had commented back (she's incredibly obese) that she would have called HR on me. It's always those types of people. 

So so far I'm hoping I can hold my ground when strangers start to notice and say things.

MrsRo731

I'm with @noelietrex - I hate when people asked if DD was planned. First off, it's no ones fucking business; second, why does it matter? I had a couple coworkers ask me and it was offensive. I had been married for 2 years so why was it so surprising? People are rude as fuck. 

The coffee drinking comments also piss me off; I almost avoid getting coffee at work because I catch people giving me weird looks when they see me drinking coffee. 

elenabrent

@MamaBish the "it took you two long enough!" feels like a slap in the face every time.  

A friend recently commented on my face looking thin and made sure to tell me I'd gain all the weight back in my face/neck after the baby was born. I told her I'd be sure to get my bust portrait painted now.

sunshineandwhiskey

noelietrex said:

@DeriveMyPi
1. We were fucking like bunnies if that's what you mean!
2. We obviously enjoyed it way too much *wink*
3. I'm sorry are you usually this into little kids junk? I mean that's kind of weird...
4. Haha at least I have an excuse! *stare at their midsection, raise eyebrows*

The only one that super bothers me is "were you trying"? To which I've started announcing "Well we weren't keeping our hands off each other!" or "Well we were humping like crazy if that's what you mean" or other awkward comments about how we have so much sex. People tend to think it's funny and I prefer that to having to really answer or get pissed every time.

People ask if we know the sex a lot too. I always say no we want to be surprised and that usually shuts it down. Sometimes they'll follow up with "Do you have an instinct about what it'll be?" That one could use some good snark...

I've gotten this, and I always say i think it's a dinosaur. Their reaction is priceless. 

xc1148

I find the best response for people that say "oh they'll be so close in age/you didn't wait between kids" is to respond "yes, our daughter is so perfect we couldn't wait for another one! It's so much fun!" This works really, really, really well when it's other moms making comments because they either have to admit they don't like their kids or shut up. 

jennyleigh16

DeriveMyPi said:

noelietrex said:

@DeriveMyPi
1. We were fucking like bunnies if that's what you mean!
2. We obviously enjoyed it way too much *wink*
3. I'm sorry are you usually this into little kids junk? I mean that's kind of weird...
4. Haha at least I have an excuse! *stare at their midsection, raise eyebrows*

The only one that super bothers me is "were you trying"? To which I've started announcing "Well we weren't keeping our hands off each other!" or "Well we were humping like crazy if that's what you mean" or other awkward comments about how we have so much sex. People tend to think it's funny and I prefer that to having to really answer or get pissed every time.

People ask if we know the sex a lot too. I always say no we want to be surprised and that usually shuts it down. Sometimes they'll follow up with "Do you have an instinct about what it'll be?" That one could use some good snark...

I've gotten this, and I always say i think it's a dinosaur. Their reaction is priceless. 

I told my coworkers we were hoping for a unicorn. Which led to a discussion of whether baby unicorns are born with the horn or if it grows in during adolescence, and how a narwhal would probably be easier to birth, cause you know, unicorns are a little tall and gangly and narwhals are better shaped for the birth canal. Also, hooves. 
I love my coworkers. 

Heathereaddy

^^^WTF?!

DobbysSock

TattoosandLace said:

My current favorite is when people say "they'll be so close in age! Were you trying?" to reply with "well, aren't you a rude one. Let's talk about your sex life?"

@TattoosandLaceSo God damn rude. That's a perfect response! One of DH's friends asked him if we were going to "keep it" when he told him about my pregnancy with DD. We were in our mid 20's and had been married for 8 months after dating for 3 years, both had stable jobs. No reason to assume it was unplanned or unwanted. DH responded with "Our child was planned, and yes we are going to have the baby." I'm not a fan of this person, for obvious reasons. DH hasn't seen much of him since then.

whataboutscience

@DobbysSock That's about the worst I've heard! I don't know if we would keep talking to that person either.