Ok this thread is the best home I could find. This is too great not to share....
I'm sad to say this is a friend of mine that said this, my same age, and not someone from the 1920's.
friend: Are you going to find out the sex? me: Nope! We like the idea of having it be a surprise! friend: Do you think because you're thinking about both genders the whole time that the baby might be transgender? me: Uhh, no. I don't. I'm pretty sure no thoughts I have would determine how the baby feels in his/her own skin.
For real....I can't make this up folks!
What???? If I have been thinking about pizza a lot lately am I risking that my baby might come out a pizza?
Rude questions don't bother me much...it's more certain people asking me certain questions that drive me crazy, but something bd said still pisses me off. I had only known for a couple days and he told a female "friend" I was pregnant and she asked him if I was going to keep it. First off that's just an awful thing to say. And THEN his response to her was, yeah, unless she miscarries again. Ugh wtf. It still causes arguments between us. Partly because he was lying about how much he was talking to this person, but mostly because who the hell says that?! He also sent her a picture of the pregnancy test. One of the many reasons I refuse to call him my husband and he's been demoted to baby daddy.
I'm not close with my mother and she asked me if my husband and I had been trying...after she told me how "shocked" she was that I was pregnant. Since she asked what I thought was a rude question I replied bluntly: "Nope we had no idea that having sex while not using birth control would lead to pregnancy." She then told me that because she's my mother she has the right to ask me that question. ...but does she? Like I said we don't have that type of relationship. I'm still waiting for a simple congratulations from her. Ugh.
Rude! My MIL said, in front of about 10 people, "I hope you don't mind if I ask but was it planned?" I was mortified and annoyed. I gave her a pass because she's MIL.
@TiffRox81 that is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard!
I haven't really had any comments this pregnancy but we haven't told many people. But when we were trying people were constantly asking why we were waiting so long to give DS a sibling and telling me I wasn't getting any younger. I finally got fed up and starting going into details about my miscarriages until people were so horrified/mortified that I felt they had sufficiently reconsidered the appropriateness of their question. I even had a neighbor yell across the street once asking that question and she was dumbfounded when I yelled back that we'd love another but the darn miscarriages just keep getting in the way. For the record, DS turns 3 next month, it's not like that gap is so abnormal, and who cares if they are 10 years apart. Nobody's business but DH and I.
@silvers626 ugh people are so inconsiderate! My neighbors have been asking us for years when we are going to have a baby, and they are always yelling about it from across the street. Get off my ass people! After our last loss I became a lot less tolerant of these kind of invasive personal questions and now I just avoid them. I haven't told them I'm pregnant (20 weeks) because they are nosy weirdos and also I feel like they will try to touch me so I'm just putting that off as long as possible.
The things people think are appropriate will never cease to amaze me.
Neighbors can be worse than family haha! I was walking outside with my husband and our dogs one morning (about 17 weeks along) and my neighbor leaned out of the car her daughter was driving and yelled "are you pregnant?!" What if I wasn't .. Who the hell yells that? Now every time she sees me she yells "hey pregnant lady!"
I seriously can't believe what people think is acceptable...My boyfriend and I made a point not to take anyone's negativity. We feel like we have enough stress in our lives without having to worry about everyone else's opinions, so I have been trying to disengage from a situation when things get uncomfortable (Easier said than done!)
Every time my mom tells someone I'm pregnant she immediately follows it up with "but they're not getting married", which really annoys me. I'm sure if we were I'd be getting backlash about how it's just for the baby, but people are also expecting us to get married for the baby?
It's literally impossible to make everyone else happy, they'll all judge us anyway
We had a record snowfall in my area yesterday and my doctor and my boss don't want me shovelling snow so I was running the building while my coworkers were outside shovelling and plowing all day yesterday. I overhead one of the guys make a comment like "oh I wish I were pregnant..." presumably so he wouldn't have to go shovel. Thanks buddy. Like I don't already feel useless and ostracized. I didn't have a snarky response unfortunately.
Rude questions don't bother me much...it's more certain people asking me certain questions that drive me crazy, but something bd said still pisses me off. I had only known for a couple days and he told a female "friend" I was pregnant and she asked him if I was going to keep it. First off that's just an awful thing to say. And THEN his response to her was, yeah, unless she miscarries again. Ugh wtf. It still causes arguments between us. Partly because he was lying about how much he was talking to this person, but mostly because who the hell says that?! He also sent her a picture of the pregnancy test. One of the many reasons I refuse to call him my husband and he's been demoted to baby daddy.
I think I posted about this earlier in the thread but DH had a friend ask if we "were going to keep it" when he announced DD's pregnancy. This was a random college buddy who is single, a few years younger, and just in general kind of a tool so I wasn't shocked but was totally pissed. If you added to that a possibly inappropriate opposite sex friendship, lies, and sharing my EXTREMELY personal experiences related to TTC I can't even imagine the rage and hurt I would feel. Your feelings are totally warranted.
I'm new here but just thought of a family member who made a comment when we announced the pregnancy. He said something along the lines of "I could tell something was different the last time I saw you" (which I automatically knew he meant I had gained weight) and the last time we saw each other was before we had even conceived! What do you even say to that?! I had actually lost weight at that point because of morning sickness. I am 18 weeks and am dreading the next few months as far as interactions with strangers go as I work in retail. I am just now obviously showing. I don't know how many woman deals with the unwanted attention and rude comments!
Right there with you! I'm an intern and people go "oh thats too bad you won't finish the internship. ..." Excuse me? Why wouldn't I ? Pick it up after maternity leave! Thankfully my boss and coworkers didn't bat an eye otherwise I'd lose it!!
It's funny to think about the comments I got between the two pregnancies. The first time around, I was the first one out of my group of friends to have a baby, and one friend in particular gave a ton of unsolicited advice (telling me I had to get an epidural, sending me info about pertussis, etc). Now that my friends have kids as well I haven't heard any off the wall or unwanted advice from them!
@mrsfrend It's possible he didn't mean it in a bad way. I had one friend who I was sure was pregnant for reasons I can't explain. I guess her expressions, like she was happy and had a secret. I told DH I was almost sure she was pregnant and a few weeks later, she wanted to tell me something. I had a huge grin and she said someone must have already told me. Nope!
Obviously, you weren't pregnant yet, but maybe he just had in your head that you might be thinking about a baby soon.
It doesn't end after you have the baby, either. I had a lady come up to me in the grocery store to tell me that the formula in my cart was poison and she asked why I wasn't breastfeeding. A STRANGER. TALKING ABOUT MY BOOBS.
Little did she know I had just been back to work for a month, my daughter was 4 months old, and I had AGONIZED over switching to formula. So many tears and putting myself down. I had a relatively easy time nursing while I was home on maternity leave, but a really hard time pumping (nothing came out!) After exhausting so many resources, I made that tough decision and then a stranger casually walked by and put me down. What the heck, lady?
i didn't have the mental strength to even answer her, let alone tell her off. I wish I did, because she probably moved on to abuse some other postpartum mama.
@givemepenguinss Yes, I remember an older lady telling me DD was hungry when I tried to take her out shopping and she was screaming like she always did. I had just nursed her and DH were frantically trying to get what we needed and get the heck out of there because we were embarrassed and didn't know how to make her stop crying. She pretty much ate, slept, or cried. I think I just stared at the lady like an idiot because I didn't want to say she wasn't hungry, but I had no clue what was wrong with her. DH's grandma also complained we had no pictures of her eyes open. Again, she pretty much was crying or sleeping. So sorry I couldn't get your perfect picture. I would've loved for her to be awake and happy. And I would have taken a ton of pictures!
When we announced to all of our family at DH's birthday party (almost 15 weeks), my grandmother walked in my house and poked me in the belly. Now, I do not really have a relationship much at all with this woman. As she left, she said she knew I was pregnant by my belly. I said, well that's because you poked me in the belly when you got here and that's not ok. She replied that she was the baby's great-grandmother and she could do whatever she wanted. I said, no, this is my body and you can't do whatever you want. She replied that she was old. I said that that didn't give an excuse for rudeness or inappropriateness.
When we announced to DH's father's side, his grandma asked me if I was sure we weren't having twins. Then she said that she hopes winter doesn't last too much longer, or I would need a new coat. Thanks, lady. Actually, you haven't seen me in a couple years, because you skip out on everything we invite you to, and I've just gotten fat.
We just got married in September, and my LMP date that they're basing my due date on is 3 days after the wedding... so I also get the "Wow, you didn't waste any time did you?! Were you trying??" Is that any of your business? We just got married in September, and my LMP date that they're basing my due date on is 3 days after the wedding... so I also get the "Wow, you didn't waste any time did you?! Were you trying??" Is that any of your business? We're perfectly happy with the way life's worked out for us so far, but thanks for your support!
I also recently got "You look really tired" and on a day I wasn't wearing makeup "You look pale"... first of all, it's winter here in PA, so excuse me for not having a tan, and second, of course I'm tired, I'm freaking pregnant!! Are you kidding me?? Is that supposed to make me feel good about myself? I really just wanted to say "oh wow, thanks for letting me know! I'll go back to bed right now and be sure to wear some bronzer for when I run into you next!"
I'm 5'4" and have a short torso, so after a while there's not much space for baby to go but out. When I was at work the last week before going on leave, the office tech guy asked me in front of a large group of people the "Are you sure you've only got one in there?" question. I laughed and said, "Yep... just the one, but thanks for calling me fat." Luckily all of the women around me gave him hell afterwards... I know he was just kidding, but I'm not sure why anyone thinks that would be a funny joke.
I also dislike when people ask when a woman is going to get pregnant. You have no idea what they could be going through. I was always slightly hesitant to go to any of DH's family events for the past year and a half because all of his aunts would ask when we were going to have the next one. I love that they love us and our son so much that they can't wait for us to grow our family, but seriously... it's not like we weren't already going through a stressful and challenging process.
This time around I haven't gotten any inappropriate comments or questions - my family is pretty conscientious, and now that we have announced, the awkward questions from DH's family have stopped. My co-workers don't know me well enough since I've only been here 6 months (although that might stop some people, I suppose!)
I'm new here but just thought of a family member who made a comment when we announced the pregnancy. He said something along the lines of "I could tell something was different the last time I saw you" (which I automatically knew he meant I had gained weight) and the last time we saw each other was before we had even conceived! What do you even say to that?! I had actually lost weight at that point because of morning sickness. I am 18 weeks and am dreading the next few months as far as interactions with strangers go as I work in retail. I am just now obviously showing. I don't know how many woman deals with the unwanted attention and rude comments!
When I was pregnant with my son I was working at a bank. The first customer to notice I was pregnant was a man (who I had a friendly relationship with) but he didn't even ask, he just said oh I didn't know you were pregnant! I told him he was super ballsy for assuming a woman was pregnant and he went deathly pale before I couldn't hold the smile back anymore lol. The "public" is incredibly invasive and incredibly stupid. I also had customers telling me I was going to have a girl because of my "shape" and I'm just like, no I'm just gaining alot of weight EVERYWHERE. Even tonight I was at Olive Garden and the waitress asked if I wanted a wine sample and I said I wish and she kept going on and on about the wine and I should try it and I had to stop her and was like, no I wish I could, but I'm pregnant. Her response was, "oh you don't look it how far along are you?" Lady just stop tempting me with the damn wine lol.
I'm new here but just thought of a family member who made a comment when we announced the pregnancy. He said something along the lines of "I could tell something was different the last time I saw you" (which I automatically knew he meant I had gained weight) and the last time we saw each other was before we had even conceived! What do you even say to that?! I had actually lost weight at that point because of morning sickness. I am 18 weeks and am dreading the next few months as far as interactions with strangers go as I work in retail. I am just now obviously showing. I don't know how many woman deals with the unwanted attention and rude comments!
When I was pregnant with my son I was working at a bank. The first customer to notice I was pregnant was a man (who I had a friendly relationship with) but he didn't even ask, he just said oh I didn't know you were pregnant! I told him he was super ballsy for assuming a woman was pregnant and he went deathly pale before I couldn't hold the smile back anymore lol. The "public" is incredibly invasive and incredibly stupid. I also had customers telling me I was going to have a girl because of my "shape" and I'm just like, no I'm just gaining alot of weight EVERYWHERE. Even tonight I was at Olive Garden and the waitress asked if I wanted a wine sample and I said I wish and she kept going on and on about the wine and I should try it and I had to stop her and was like, no I wish I could, but I'm pregnant. Her response was, "oh you don't look it how far along are you?" Lady just stop tempting me with the damn wine lol.
I was training a new girl at my old job once and I took her to the bank to do the deposits and the teller asked her how far along she was. She was not pregnant and while perhaps a little "fluffy" did not look at all pregnant by my estimation. She was nearly in tears and I was mortified. The teller was a bit of an older lady, probably late 50's and when my trainee said she wasn't pregnant, the teller just shrugged and said "oh well, you never know these days" and was not the least bit embarrassed or apologetic. It was ridiculous all around.
I was once at a restaurant with DH. There was this server who was maybe a size 4, with a round basketball ball belly really high up. She would stand there and rub her belly and put her hand under it, you know, the universal sign of 'pregnant '. So I asked what her EDD was and she looked like I was a evil bitch. She told me that she was NOT pregnant and that I was horrible and rude. 5 or 10 minutes later, a new table sat down, and they asked. Same reponse. I heard to talk to another server about why so many people kept asking when she is due when she is not pregnant.
Umm, cuz you look 8 months pregnant and stand/walk like one...
I hate when people blame a child misbehaving on a new baby coming. Every time my 2 year DS cries in front of my in laws they say it's because of the baby. He doesn't even know or understand that there's a new baby coming and it's just nap time or he's hungry etc. A teacher at his nursery said the same thing to us this week.
I've also got people telling me what sex the baby is based on my shape because we're not revealing. We do know what baby is and almost everyone has got it wrong
When I announced to my family (at 12 weeks) my aunt cupped my belly and said "you already have a little bump!"
i just looked at her and said "nope, that's just my fat, but thanks!"
Hahahah yeahhhh my husband's grandmother said something about being surprised how big my stomach already was. This was at 13 weeks when we told her. I'm not a stick, but I'm not big either. I just looked at her and said "well I guess I'm just fat" I couldn't believe she said that
Re: Snarky Comebacks to People's Rude Questions
People are so strange.
@TiffRox81 that is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard!
The things people think are appropriate will never cease to amaze me.
Every time my mom tells someone I'm pregnant she immediately follows it up with "but they're not getting married", which really annoys me. I'm sure if we were I'd be getting backlash about how it's just for the baby, but people are also expecting us to get married for the baby?
It's literally impossible to make everyone else happy, they'll all judge us anyway
I think I posted about this earlier in the thread but DH had a friend ask if we "were going to keep it" when he announced DD's pregnancy. This was a random college buddy who is single, a few years younger, and just in general kind of a tool so I wasn't shocked but was totally pissed. If you added to that a possibly inappropriate opposite sex friendship, lies, and sharing my EXTREMELY personal experiences related to TTC I can't even imagine the rage and hurt I would feel. Your feelings are totally warranted.
i just looked at her and said "nope, that's just my fat, but thanks!"
Obviously, you weren't pregnant yet, but maybe he just had in your head that you might be thinking about a baby soon.
Little did she know I had just been back to work for a month, my daughter was 4 months old, and I had AGONIZED over switching to formula. So many tears and putting myself down. I had a relatively easy time nursing while I was home on maternity leave, but a really hard time pumping (nothing came out!) After exhausting so many resources, I made that tough decision and then a stranger casually walked by and put me down. What the heck, lady?
i didn't have the mental strength to even answer her, let alone tell her off. I wish I did, because she probably moved on to abuse some other postpartum mama.
I also recently got "You look really tired" and on a day I wasn't wearing makeup "You look pale"... first of all, it's winter here in PA, so excuse me for not having a tan, and second, of course I'm tired, I'm freaking pregnant!! Are you kidding me?? Is that supposed to make me feel good about myself? I really just wanted to say "oh wow, thanks for letting me know! I'll go back to bed right now and be sure to wear some bronzer for when I run into you next!"
I also dislike when people ask when a woman is going to get pregnant. You have no idea what they could be going through. I was always slightly hesitant to go to any of DH's family events for the past year and a half because all of his aunts would ask when we were going to have the next one. I love that they love us and our son so much that they can't wait for us to grow our family, but seriously... it's not like we weren't already going through a stressful and challenging process.
This time around I haven't gotten any inappropriate comments or questions - my family is pretty conscientious, and now that we have announced, the awkward questions from DH's family have stopped. My co-workers don't know me well enough since I've only been here 6 months (although that might stop some people, I suppose!)
.....
Even tonight I was at Olive Garden and the waitress asked if I wanted a wine sample and I said I wish and she kept going on and on about the wine and I should try it and I had to stop her and was like, no I wish I could, but I'm pregnant. Her response was, "oh you don't look it how far along are you?" Lady just stop tempting me with the damn wine lol.
I got alot of "when's your due date? Oh you're not going to make it"
.....granted I did have my son at 32 weeks and he weighed 6lbs9oz lol
Just realized I double posted. Woops, insomnia at its finest.
5 or 10 minutes later, a new table sat down, and they asked. Same reponse. I heard to talk to another server about why so many people kept asking when she is due when she is not pregnant.
Umm, cuz you look 8 months pregnant and stand/walk like one...
I have never asked again.
I've also got people telling me what sex the baby is based on my shape because we're not revealing. We do know what baby is and almost everyone has got it wrong