DH's aunt can be super passive aggressive sometimes, but it's often cloaked in sweetness so you don't always realize it until the moment has passed.
With DD's pregnancy she asked me multiple times how much weight I had gained. The third time she asked me was through a message on Facebook so I had time to think of a response. I said "I'm not concerned about my weight. My doctor is monitoring my health and is happy with the amount of weight I have gained." She never brought it up again. She saw me shortly before I got pregnant this time and commented that I looked like I'd lost weight, I thanked her and said I had recently gotten a gym pass. Big mistake - she took my opening and asked how much weight I had lost so far. I said "I'm not someone who obsesses about the number on the scale. I feel good and that's what I'm focusing on." So far, no questions about my weight since then.
I agree on the size comments - I've had two different people tell me I look too small for 15 weeks. Wtf am I supposed to say to that?
What really got on my nerves though was people asking us ALL THE TIME when we were going to start having kids. I finally just started being really blunt and telling them about our miscarriage, mostly just to see the look on their face when they realized how obnoxious that question is.
Me: yes, lots of Dr's appointments, pills, shots and a few IUI's.
Did you DH know you were trying? (I had this asked several times). Me: gee, I hope so. Since he came with me to my fertility Dr appointment and had to give his sample for the IUIs.
Ate you hoping for a boy? If this is an other girl, will you try for a boy?
US: no, 3 is it. We honestly don't care if it has a penis or not. Dh: I would love 3 girls. What man wouldn't want to loved and adored by 4 beautiful women.
When I tell someone we don't know the gender yet and they follow up with "well what do you THINK it is" I respond with "don't hold me to it, but I've got an inclining it's a human"
Also this little brat that I work with constantly needs to comment on whether or not what I'm eating or drinking is safe. Finally on Friday when she told me I shouldn't be drinking that cup of coffee I said "it's weird that you also work part time at a front desk, I thought doctors made a lot of money?"
All of my close friends and family are great about the very small age gap between my son and LO. It's random fb friends I haven't seen in a while or extended family who are the ones making annoying comments. Already?! Wow that was quick! Were you trying? I just tell everyone ds is so great and look how cute he is, how could I not want another?! I was at target yesterday and also noticed some strangers giving me looks since I'm noticeably pregnant with a 7 month old on my hip! I stare back to make them feel uncomfortable... Douches
@MamaBish Gotten a lot of the About time!! comments too. Above and beyond all the others, I think that one irritates me the most. We've also gotten, Wow, I didn't think you guys wanted kids! We've always just offered an answer of If it happens, it happens when people asked about our family plan. Frankly it's none of anyone's business and I don't understand why they want to concern themselves so much with whether or not we procreate. Would you like me to go into detail about my previous miscarriages?! I think not.
This morning I was running an errand and ran into an old "friend." She said she saw our announcement on Facebook and congratulated me and then looked at me funny and asked how far along I am. I told her 16 weeks and she said, "oh my god, only 16 weeks, how much weight have you gained?? You're huge!!" I just said, "yeah, well I gained 40 pounds once I went to treatment for my eating disorder. I've actually only gained 2 pounds since I got pregnant but thanks for commenting on my body since it's none of your damn business."
She he just stood there and I left but I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting. Ugh, why do people think it's okay to comment on other people's bodies??
DH told his 88 year old grandmother about the twins yesterday. The following comments ensued: "I'm surprised she wasn't pregnant the week after the wedding" and my personal favorite "What, did you guys have to do IVF to get twins?" He's really lucky I wasn't there because I would have unloaded on that old lady.
@fleurdelakeview WHAT A BITCH! Someone I know commented about how big I've gotten blah blah blah and how first time moms NEVER show until later blah blah blah...I came back with "actually I've lost 12 pounds since I got pregnant but thanks for sharing your thoughts on my body"
I don't understand why anyone feels the need to comment on anyone else's body, including that of a pregnant woman. There are parts of pregnancy I am really enjoying but I could do without the feeling of being on display at a petting zoo.
Shortly after telling my parents about baby #2, my mom goes "I was just really surprised"... to which I replied, "Well, I didn't think it pertinent to discuss my sex life with you". Her jaw literally hit the floor. DH and I's decision to have a child is between the two of us and no one else. I get asked "were you surprised" all the time. I typically just say that I had a "hunch" because I have a hard time being snarky to those outside of my family.
I've been so lucky to avoid the obnoxious comments. Mostly because I still have yet to disclose to work... Besides MIL hounding us all of the time for grandchildren (which calmed down when DH explained we were having to do fertility treatments) its been pretty tame. We've got family coming into town this weekend who are notoriously outspoken so its going to be interesting to see whether I will need to bite my tongue.
My favorite way to come out of any rude question, terrible comment, or awkward conversation is to play completely dumb. I'll ask, "Whatever do you mean?" or "Why do you ask?" like I'm beyond confused and lock eyes and look pleasant and watch as they scramble for a way to explain they are asking about totally personal stuff. If they manage to rephrase the question, I just repeat the dumb act. I've never had anyone ask more than twice without trailing off and dropping it.
I have one friend who is almost annoyingly optimistic. Anytime I complain about anything, she would ask if I'm pregnant. Last time I almost bit her head off and said, "Excuse me?" Very shortly after we announced she said she knew it and that's why I've been so crabby. DH and I are very honest with each other and he agrees that I haven't been crabbier and the things I have complained about were reasonable. I want to say to her I'm sorry, that's just my personality.
I'm with @PinkLady2015 so far I haven't had any mean comments or any touching but I am seriously appalled that the random things and touching that has happened to so many of you and so proud of the comments you have said I am nowhere quick witted enough to think of something that fast haha
@fleurdelakeview I actually cannot believe someone would say that you! But way to go!
Was that to me? It was actually one of the more normal and tame conversations I've had with my coworkers. Put a handful of 18-35 year old blue collar workers on 10 hour shifts and you never know what will come out. We joke that our work unit is a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen, but everyone is on the same page. And don't worry, we're professional when we need to be.
@jennyleigh16 I work in the same atmosphere. I'm the only female in a department full of men who act like teenage boys. I wouldn't have it any other way!
The one that pisses me off the most is SIL said to DH that she could never be team green because she would like to be prepared when the baby comes. Umm please tell me what I will not be prepared for? The ONLY thing that is effected is how pee comes out. I get the whole wanting to have a sex specific nursery and all of that, but don't act like I won't be prepared.
DH almost died when we were at an event and this lady was like oh I know what you were doing in Oct *wink*. And my response was yea and it wasn't the first time. Then I turned and walked away. No, lady we are not discussing my sex life.
DH almost died when we were at an event and this lady was like oh I know what you were doing in Oct *wink*. And my response was yea and it wasn't the first time. Then I turned and walked away. No, lady we are not discussing my sex life.
@mckcak23 - That is straight-up creepy. People are so rude!
I'm lurking from August and am expecting twins which will most likely come the end of July beginning of August. So far we haven't got to many crazy comments or reactions (we haven't told many people yet), but I'm definitely going to keep some of these comments in the back of my mind for when we do!!
Speaking of discussing sex life, my step mom mentioned how my husband and I must be rabbits because we got pregnant with an IUD and that he needs to look into a vasectomy. Although she is correct on all she said hehe, I mean really? So unnecessary. I didn't need her to go there. The thought of her thinking about it is just too much. Also, I mentioned having coffee, and she said "ohhh you can have that?" I said, "yes 1 a day is considered safe" and she just gave me a "hmm" as in she didn't believe it kind of response, which was enraging for some reason. I hate when people try to tell me what I can or cant do while pregnant, as if I haven't looked into it or don't know what im doing? So frustrating.
@lolomommy1 I thought my MIL was going to DIE when I talked about eating sushi in front of her. I can't stand people who act like they know better than my provider about what I "can and can't have". I can have whatever the fuck I want, I am a grown ass woman more than capable of conducting my own risk assessments thank you very much.
went to SIL's baby shower this weekend with MIL. The topic of belly rubbing came up and MIL goes, "well I can rub SIL's belly but I won't rub Quartz02's because she'll cut me." LOL! It's all about laying ground rules. (of course much easier to do with peope you have an established relationship with. Not the same for strangers)
Haven't had any rude comments since announcing. But right when I announced, my friends were all "I knew it cause you weren't drinking." So I would say, hey thanks for calling me a lush!
Me: 32, DH: 38
Married 1/14/12
NTNP Since 12/13, TTC Since 1/15
BFP: 11/4/15 Found out we were having TWINS 12/9/15 EDD: 7/11/16 Born: 6/29/16
I have a friend who is unmarried and single and really immature. One time when I was talking about baby stuff around her she said "ew babies are gross" and I told her that her personality is gross and the fact that she's immature enough to make a comment like that is why guys won't come within a 10 foot radius of her. She wasn't happy with my response but I was fed up with her annoying comments. Thankfully we have the type of relationship that I've always been really blunt with her and she can take it but she now knows to keep annoying comments to herself.
It has been really annoying to deal with my coworkers and some of my friends lately, my husband and are 24 and have been married for almost 3 years and I get the comments from my coworkers, "You really rushed into getting pregnant" and "How are you going to go to grad school with a kid" and "you are only staying home for X weeks." I have mostly ignored the comments, until a few weeks ago, when I was like F this, and started responding to peoples comments by saying yeah, I mean after this kid I really cant do anything, I should just quit my job now and give up! People are so rude, why can't they just worry about their lives!
I'm not close with my mother and she asked me if my husband and I had been trying...after she told me how "shocked" she was that I was pregnant. Since she asked what I thought was a rude question I replied bluntly: "Nope we had no idea that having sex while not using birth control would lead to pregnancy." She then told me that because she's my mother she has the right to ask me that question. ...but does she? Like I said we don't have that type of relationship. I'm still waiting for a simple congratulations from her. Ugh.
msuzannah I have the same problem but with my older SIL! I would love to put her in her place but she is very abrasive & holds grudges. But seriously, the "Ew" comments are not necessary...
@rnyland1 rude! No, just because you gave birth to me does not give you any rights. A parent-child adult relationship is completely dependent on all the events that followed the birth, and if it's not a strong relationship for whatever reason the parent doesn't get automatic privileges just because they're the parent.
No, no, no. What's with these people who think that bc they're your parents, relatives, or old that they can ask you all kinds of inappropriate questions or make rude comments? No. I'm an adult just like you and I deserve respect just like you. If you're going to make a crazy comment toward me, you're going to get an equally crazy response and old people can get it too. You're not exempt bc you're 90 years old. Your social skills should be better bc you've lived so long.
I'm not close with my mother and she asked me if my husband and I had been trying...after she told me how "shocked" she was that I was pregnant. Since she asked what I thought was a rude question I replied bluntly: "Nope we had no idea that having sex while not using birth control would lead to pregnancy." She then told me that because she's my mother she has the right to ask me that question. ...but does she? Like I said we don't have that type of relationship. I'm still waiting for a simple congratulations from her. Ugh.
Um, nope. No. Nope. Not at all. Just because she's your mom doesn't mean she has any rights to ask you questions like that.
Ok this thread is the best home I could find. This is too great not to share....
I'm sad to say this is a friend of mine that said this, my same age, and not someone from the 1920's.
friend: Are you going to find out the sex? me: Nope! We like the idea of having it be a surprise! friend: Do you think because you're thinking about both genders the whole time that the baby might be transgender? me: Uhh, no. I don't. I'm pretty sure no thoughts I have would determine how the baby feels in his/her own skin.
Re: Snarky Comebacks to People's Rude Questions
With DD's pregnancy she asked me multiple times how much weight I had gained. The third time she asked me was through a message on Facebook so I had time to think of a response. I said "I'm not concerned about my weight. My doctor is monitoring my health and is happy with the amount of weight I have gained." She never brought it up again. She saw me shortly before I got pregnant this time and commented that I looked like I'd lost weight, I thanked her and said I had recently gotten a gym pass. Big mistake - she took my opening and asked how much weight I had lost so far. I said "I'm not someone who obsesses about the number on the scale. I feel good and that's what I'm focusing on." So far, no questions about my weight since then.
What really got on my nerves though was people asking us ALL THE TIME when we were going to start having kids. I finally just started being really blunt and telling them about our miscarriage, mostly just to see the look on their face when they realized how obnoxious that question is.
Me: yes, lots of Dr's appointments, pills, shots and a few IUI's.
Did you DH know you were trying? (I had this asked several times).
Me: gee, I hope so. Since he came with me to my fertility Dr appointment and had to give his sample for the IUIs.
Ate you hoping for a boy? If this is an other girl, will you try for a boy?
US: no, 3 is it. We honestly don't care if it has a penis or not.
Dh: I would love 3 girls. What man wouldn't want to loved and adored by 4 beautiful women.
This definitely does not play well on your emotions when it's been two weeks since you've heard the heartbeat and hadn't felt flutters at that point.
I wanted to be "Yea that's a good question, I don't know, hopefully it's still in there!". Ugh
Also this little brat that I work with constantly needs to comment on whether or not what I'm eating or drinking is safe. Finally on Friday when she told me I shouldn't be drinking that cup of coffee I said "it's weird that you also work part time at a front desk, I thought doctors made a lot of money?"
I just tell everyone ds is so great and look how cute he is, how could I not want another?!
I was at target yesterday and also noticed some strangers giving me looks since I'm noticeably pregnant with a 7 month old on my hip! I stare back to make them feel uncomfortable... Douches
Edited to correct words...
She he just stood there and I left but I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting. Ugh, why do people think it's okay to comment on other people's bodies??
Editted for typos
July'16 BMB May Siggy Challenge - Star Wars:
I don't understand why anyone feels the need to comment on anyone else's body, including that of a pregnant woman. There are parts of pregnancy I am really enjoying but I could do without the feeling of being on display at a petting zoo.
Thankfully we have that honest/snarky relationship so I don't care, and I've had the best body image of myself since getting pregnant.
@fleurdelakeview I actually cannot believe someone would say that you! But way to go!
DH almost died when we were at an event and this lady was like oh I know what you were doing in Oct *wink*. And my response was yea and it wasn't the first time. Then I turned and walked away. No, lady we are not discussing my sex life.
DD #2: EDD July 2016
"No, I'm just pregnant. What's your excuse?"
I dont even care who it is.
Also, I mentioned having coffee, and she said "ohhh you can have that?" I said, "yes 1 a day is considered safe" and she just gave me a "hmm" as in she didn't believe it kind of response, which was enraging for some reason. I hate when people try to tell me what I can or cant do while pregnant, as if I haven't looked into it or don't know what im doing? So frustrating.
I'm sad to say this is a friend of mine that said this, my same age, and not someone from the 1920's.
friend: Are you going to find out the sex?
me: Nope! We like the idea of having it be a surprise!
friend: Do you think because you're thinking about both genders the whole time that the baby might be transgender?
me: Uhh, no. I don't. I'm pretty sure no thoughts I have would determine how the baby feels in his/her own skin.
For real....I can't make this up folks!