Gender name swap

angelique0209

We are not pregnant yet but since day one DH and I have kept a list of names we love and update it at least once a month. One pattern we have noticed was using boy names for girls and vis versa. Opinions?
For example: for a girl we are set on (for the moment) Ronan. Possibly Ro for short.

bbiutmcph

FFS Ronan isn't remotely feminine. There are very few truly unisex names. Slapping a boy name on a girl doesn't make you look cool, make your daughter automatically cool or anything like that. And I'm pretty sure you don't have Victoria on your boy list.

angelique0209

No but Kelley is a name on our boy list. I see what your saying and appreciate the opinion. However, i dont see why you had to be rude about it.

katiedhunter

I'm kinda in the same boat! Love the name Blake for a girl, but just not sure it will work.

wassuphoes

I've yet to meet a person with the balls to name their son Susan, so naming your daughter Ronan comes across as "Oh, look at us, we're so cool we named our daughter a traditionally masculine name."

Naming your daughter a masculine name is about as edgy and hip as Starbucks.

There are plenty of non-frilly feminine names out there. If you truly want a unisex name, go with it but do some research first please.

wassuphoes

angelique0209 said:

No but Kelley is a name on our boy list. I see what your saying and appreciate the opinion. However, i dont see why you had to be rude about it.

Kelly is a traditionally masculine name. 

bbiutmcph

Kelly should be on a boy list as it is a masculine name. I was blunt not rude.

4N6s

Ronan on a girl? No. No. No.

angelique0209

I dont feel we are trying to be "hip" or "cool" about the name. That is what is coming off as rude. I simply liked the name and the abbreviation for it for a girl. I appreciate all the input. Our minds change daily so there is no telling what we will actually choose. I wouldn't be surprised if we didnt decide till we saw a face to match:)

koriemo

I tend to dislike most girl names because I find them too frilly souding. Names like Priscilla, Isabella, Francesca, Olivia, Jacqueline, etc. aren't my style at all.

However, I also think that a name shouldn't complicate a child's life, so naming a child something typically masculine can cause all sorts of confusion for the child's future.

So I try to find girl names that are simple, yet still make it obvious that she is a SHE. For example, Jade, Paige, Regan, Tess, Neve, Maeve, and Carys are all names that sound more masculine while still being feminine. Maybe Sloane instead of Ronan?

asherk

You asked for opinions; PPs opinion was that you look like you're trying to be hip or cool by using a masculine name on a girl. And like another PP said, Kelley is a masculine name, so it makes perfect sense for it to be on a boy name list.

My (female) best friend is name Kendall. She has had to spend her entire professional life correcting people that she is, in fact, a female, and not male. Over the phone, via email...constantly. That's something to keep in mind when choosing a name - are you going to give your child a lot of unnecessary complications in the future due to your name choice?

As for Ronan, specifically, I would pass. Ronan/Rowan/Roman all seem to be gaining popularity as boy names and it could start to be like the Aiden craze (at least that's how it's looking in my area - but the Rowan's are pretty split between boys and girls).

Plus, Ronan the Accuser is the main villian in Guardians of the Galaxy comics and the movie from last year, so it doesn't exactly scream 'cute girl's name!' to me. (I may be a little biased there, though.)

If you're really digging the nn Ro, I would gravitate toward names like Rosalind, Rosalie, etc.

Edited because spelling is hard.

samanthaj0e

I really dislike masculine names on girls. I like unisex names though, especially on boys. Some that I like are Kelly, Morgan, Jesse, Loren, and Darcy. Maybe pick a unisex name that you can use for either gender?

LizWhiz87

katiedhunter said:

I'm kinda in the same boat! Love the name Blake for a girl, but just not sure it will work.

It won't. Everyone will think she is a boy, because it's a boy's name. Not cute.

LizWhiz87

My fellow posters above have outlined for you why Ronan (or any male name) is terrible for a boy. No one was rude. If you like the nickname Ro, go with Rosanna, Rosamund, Rosalie, Rowena, etc. AKA, female names.

MoreKittens

You asked for opinions and not everyone is going to agree with you; boy names on girls is not popular on this board. If you're looking for confirmation, you might want to try another site.

elainepelleboer

Wow can't believe how rude some people are. I have 3 girls and their names are Reagan, sawyer and Finley. Non traditional and yes they may sound alite boyish but that is what we like and everyone that know them now when other people have kids with those names they always assume that they had a girl and not a boy. Everybody has their own likes and dislikes and you don't have to go slam some else's likes.

wassuphoes

elainepelleboer said:

Wow can't believe how rude some people are. I have 3 girls and their names are Reagan, sawyer and Finley. Non traditional and yes they may sound alite boyish but that is what we like and everyone that know them now when other people have kids with those names they always assume that they had a girl and not a boy. Everybody has their own likes and dislikes and you don't have to go slam some else's likes.

They sound boyish because they are all traditionally masculine names. Do you want a cookie for being "special"?

The op asked for opinions. They were given. If you can't handle someone not liking the things you like, maybe the internet isn't the best place for you.

mattandlora

In response to earlier posts, Kelley is the traditional male spelling, while Kelly is traditionally female. DH and I had a conversation about unisex names recently and I had to look that one up.

NotISaidtheCat

Um yes, many of you ladies are being rude. You can dislike the name choice and put it tactfully, and when OP pointed out that she felt attacked by your aggressive (and assumptive) remarks you could have apologized for the tone without apologizing for the opinion rather than continuing to behave like snotty teenage girls. For grown women to be behaving this way is just shameful...especially grown women who will shortly be naming their very own little humans (and most likely something that not everyone will love). Get over yourselves.

OP, I think Ronan would definitely work on a girl, but if you end up feeling it's just too masculine I would suggest Rowen for a similar sound and the same NN.

katiedhunter said:

I'm kinda in the same boat! Love the name Blake for a girl, but just not sure it will work.

It's adorable and it isn't uncommon for girls, either, so she'd do just fine growing up with it.

At the end of the day, parents should love the names they give their children...even if no one else does!

Sassenach1743

Seriously, all you ladies giving masculine names to your daughters need to be more mature about it if you're going to come on a public forum and ask for opinions.
We do not blow smoke in here. Our opinions are what they are. If you don't like them, too bad. We're not being rude, we're just giving our opinions... because you asked for them. Honestly, the general consensus on this topic is that parents giving masculine names to girls come off as trying too hard. It's a trend that most of us are not into, so we're not going to support it. And, sorry, but this has just been covered so many times that by now our tone may come off as harsh, but in reality it's still just blunt honesty.
I'm not being rude. I couldn't care less what you name your child, just as I'm sure you won't care what I name mine. But you asked for opinions so you're getting them. Just roll with it and if you still stand by your choice then go ahead and use it. But if you are asking because you want to know what kind of reactions the name will get, this forum is showing you. You either care or you don't. The key is to not take it personally. Everyone has their opinions, and you yours. Don't whine about it.

wassuphoes

NotISaidtheCat said:

Um yes, many of you ladies are being rude. You can dislike the name choice and put it tactfully, and when OP pointed out that she felt attacked by your aggressive (and assumptive) remarks you could have apologized for the tone without apologizing for the opinion rather than continuing to behave like snotty teenage girls. For grown women to be behaving this way is just shameful...especially grown women who will shortly be naming their very own little humans (and most likely something that not everyone will love). Get over yourselves.

OP, I think Ronan would definitely work on a girl, but if you end up feeling it's just too masculine I would suggest Rowen for a similar sound and the same NN.

I'm kinda in the same boat! Love the name Blake for a girl, but just not sure it will work.

It's adorable and it isn't uncommon for girls, either, so she'd do just fine growing up with it.

At the end of the day, parents should love the names they give their children...even if no one else does!

Too bad none of the names mentioned in this post are remotely feminine.

And if hearing that causes you to have a hissy fit, the person telling you a name is masculine isn't the one with the problem.

Sassenach1743

NotISaidtheCat said:

Um yes, many of you ladies are being rude. You can dislike the name choice and put it tactfully, and when OP pointed out that she felt attacked by your aggressive (and assumptive) remarks you could have apologized for the tone without apologizing for the opinion rather than continuing to behave like snotty teenage girls. For grown women to be behaving this way is just shameful...especially grown women who will shortly be naming their very own little humans (and most likely something that not everyone will love). Get over yourselves.

OP, I think Ronan would definitely work on a girl, but if you end up feeling it's just too masculine I would suggest Rowen for a similar sound and the same NN.

katiedhunter said:

I'm kinda in the same boat! Love the name Blake for a girl, but just not sure it will work.

It's adorable and it isn't uncommon for girls, either, so she'd do just fine growing up with it.

At the end of the day, parents should love the names they give their children...even if no one else does!

Get over yourself. You and OP are the ones who can't handle an honest opinion. No one attacked her. She just doesn't like that we're not swooning over the name. Who cares. No one is going to apologize for their opinions.

You also cannot hear tone from a written post (in most cases) so it's really your own defensive attitude that is the problem.

angelique0209

Oh my goodness. This post got way out of control. I got the responses and opinion I was looking for. I wasnt being defensive because you didnt like it because at the end of it all ill name what I want when the time comes. My only reasoning for saying it was rude was because I feel there are other way to go about expressing your opinion without using harsh adjectives and treating others as though they are dumb for even thinking of the possibility. I hate to see so much hostility and drama between grown ass women. As I stated in previous replies, I appreciated the opinions and feedback on the name and have taken it all into prospective. Please just dont feel the need to attack each other (especially on my behalf) as we're all adults here for the same reason:)

g8trkim

Ronan is terrible for a little girl. Kelly is fine for a boy since it is actually unisex. I have a friend with a daughter Rowan which I think is less horrible.

expressobean13

I agree with PPs that Rowan is preferable to Ronan, has the style and nn you like while being a touch more feminine. 

LizWhiz87

Oh my goodness. This post got way out of control. I got the responses and opinion I was looking for. I wasnt being defensive because you didnt like it because at the end of it all ill name what I want when the time comes. 

So why ask? Your original post said "Opinions?" You got them, and you didn't like them (even though none were remotely 'rude,' a word which I think a lot of you Sensitive Susies need to examine the definition of. Not liking something is not the same as being rude (or harsh, another word which many of you throw around). If you are set on a name and you are going to use it no matter what, why open yourself up to possible dissenting opinions? Or did you just want all of us to fawn over the name cause it's, like, so creative and unique? 

My only reasoning for saying it was rude was because I feel there are other way to go about expressing your opinion without using harsh adjectives and treating others as though they are dumb for even thinking of the possibility. I hate to see so much hostility and drama between grown ass women. 

angelique0209 said:

I hate to see the phrase "grown ass women." I am not an ass woman, and I don't think most on here would like being called such. Now who is rude? Also, no need to remind people we are grown. I think we all know when our birthday was.

As I stated in previous replies, I appreciated the opinions and feedback on the name and have taken it all into prospective. Please just dont feel the need to attack each other (especially on my behalf) as we're all adults here for the same reason:)

angelique0209 said:

Don't flatter yourself, honey.

angelique0209

Oh my god.. its a never ending war with you guys! Not once did I ever say that my feelings were hurt by the opinions stated or that I didnt like the answers. I got the responses I was looking for which were honest ones. Maybe im just used to being a little nicer when giving my opinions to anybody but to each his own. Were not teenagers here, fighting on an online site is ridiculous. Im supposed to feel bad for feeling like you guys were being rude yet your getting panties in a wad over my calling you a grown ass woman? Which is exactly what we are assuming we're all of age to conceive children. This post is out of control.

LizWhiz87

angelique0209 said:

Oh my god.. its a never ending war with you guys! Not once did I ever say that my feelings were hurt by the opinions stated or that I didnt like the answers. I got the responses I was looking for which were honest ones. Maybe im just used to being a little nicer when giving my opinions to anybody but to each his own. Were not teenagers here, fighting on an online site is ridiculous. Im supposed to feel bad for feeling like you guys were being rude yet your getting panties in a wad over my calling you a grown ass woman? Which is exactly what we are assuming we're all of age to conceive children. This post is out of control.

It was a joke sweetheart. Also, your grammar is what's out of control, not this post.

angelique0209

Seriously? Adults attacking other adults over grammar? Snobby snobby women here. Dont worry, that was a "joke".

missteacherlady16

angelique0209 said:

Oh my goodness. This post got way out of control. I got the responses and opinion I was looking for. I wasnt being defensive because you didnt like it because at the end of it all ill name what I want when the time comes. My only reasoning for saying it was rude was because I feel there are other way to go about expressing your opinion without using harsh adjectives and treating others as though they are dumb for even thinking of the possibility. I hate to see so much hostility and drama between grown ass women. As I stated in previous replies, I appreciated the opinions and feedback on the name and have taken it all into prospective. Please just dont feel the need to attack each other (especially on my behalf) as we're all adults here for the same reason:)

So basically you came into this already disregarding anyone who didn't put your name choice up on a pedestal and say "aww that's SO perfect!" Okay. 

Edited because grammar 

lizzypoo96

omg if you guys think this is harsh you haven't lived long on message boards. I can't repeat some of the stuff that has been said on the Knot and other places! lol

but seriously- original topic- you do what you want to do... but I've unknowingly crushed little kids on the first day of school by assuming that a child is one gender or another. You might not have a problem with it, but your potentially sensitive child might.

MWoodside

I am one of the few who actually likes boy names for girls, but I don't care for Ronan for a girl.  Rowen is cute though & still could have Ro for a NN. 

As for the drama- ignore it.  Some people get off on being the name police around here. 

missteacherlady16

MWoodside said:

I am one of the few who actually likes boy names for girls, but I don't care for Ronan for a girl.  Rowen is cute though & still could have Ro for a NN. 

As for the drama- ignore it.  Some people get off on being the name police around here. 

Do you like girls' names on boys, too? Serious question. 

MWoodside

No, I don't.  Not at all.

This is totally going to make me sound elderly, but I think my love of boy names for girls goes all the way back to the show Sisters.  There was 4 sisters & they all had girl names with boy NNs: Alexandra was called Alex; Theodora, Teddy; Georgiana, Georgie; and Francesca, Frankie.

I have loved boy names for girls & also very feminine FNs with masculine NNs ever since.

peppers1227

I happen to like unisex names for girls, not as much for the sake of being trendy, but I think of it for anonymity so to speak. There is a certain power in not having your name reveal your gender on a resume for example. Gender based hiring discrimination still exists, like it or not. For instance my MIL has a name that is more common on men, and has been told in a job interview "we were expecting a man." That is something girls seem to have to deal with more often than boys unfortunately. I work in a very male dominated field so it's something I'm always a bit worried about.

Not saying I plan on using a unisex or masculine name on a girl (my top choice is actually very feminine) but offering another reason it may appeal to some people other than being "cool." If it's not your style that is fine, everyone has different tastes and perspectives.

Edited for typos and cut off end sentence

LizWhiz87

MWoodside said:

No, I don't.  Not at all.

This is totally going to make me sound elderly, but I think my love of boy names for girls goes all the way back to the show Sisters.  There was 4 sisters & they all had girl names with boy NNs: Alexandra was called Alex; Theodora, Teddy; Georgiana, Georgie; and Francesca, Frankie.

I have loved boy names for girls & also very feminine FNs with masculine NNs ever since.

So if you don't like feminine names on boys, why is it okay to stick girls with masculine names? That's a double standard. Also, on Sisters, the girls all had feminine first names to offset the nicknames. That is very different than saddling a girl with a masculine name like Ronan or Ryan or God knows what else. The girl doesn't have a choice in whether she gets a masculine name or not. At least with masculine nicknames, the child can choose later in life whether to go by that or her full name. 

wassuphoes

LizWhiz87 said:

MWoodside said:

No, I don't.  Not at all.

This is totally going to make me sound elderly, but I think my love of boy names for girls goes all the way back to the show Sisters.  There was 4 sisters & they all had girl names with boy NNs: Alexandra was called Alex; Theodora, Teddy; Georgiana, Georgie; and Francesca, Frankie.

I have loved boy names for girls & also very feminine FNs with masculine NNs ever since.

So if you don't like feminine names on boys, why is it okay to stick girls with masculine names? That's a double standard. Also, on Sisters, the girls all had feminine first names to offset the nicknames. That is very different than saddling a girl with a masculine name like Ronan or Ryan or God knows what else. The girl doesn't have a choice in whether she gets a masculine name or not. At least with masculine nicknames, the child can choose later in life whether to go by that or her full name. 

Yeah, there's a big difference between giving a girl a masculine name and giving a girl a feminine name that has a masculine diminutive.

It's part of the reason I always suggest people name their child things like Alexander instead of Alex, Frances instead of Fran, Beatrice instead of Bea, etc. It gives the kid more options to go by later in life, and more of a say in their identity.

expressobean13

LizWhiz87 said:

MWoodside said:

So if you don't like feminine names on boys, why is it okay to stick girls with masculine names? That's a double standard.  

Do you or will you allow your daughter to wear trousers in public? Most people these days do.

Do you or will you allow your son to wear skirts and dresses in public? Most people aren't comfortable with it.

Same double standard: it's ok to use male names/clothes on a girl, but not ok to use female names/clothes on a male.

Let her have her naming preferences, it's really petty in the grand scheme of things. This double standard exists everywhere you look, and while we might all hope for a world of perfect gender equality (or rigid heteronormative gender roles, if that's more your style) that's not the world we live in.

mattandlora

wassuphoes said:

LizWhiz87 said:

MWoodside said:

It's part of the reason I always suggest people name their child things like Alexander instead of Alex, Frances instead of Fran, Beatrice instead of Bea, etc. It gives the kid more options to go by later in life, and more of a say in their identity.

This is why our daughter is Margaret. DH and I love the name Maggie, but wanted her to have the option of something more formal, OR alternative NNs in the future.

LizWhiz87

expressobean13 said:

LizWhiz87 said:

MWoodside said:

So if you don't like feminine names on boys, why is it okay to stick girls with masculine names? That's a double standard.  

Do you or will you allow your daughter to wear trousers in public? Most people these days do.

Do you or will you allow your son to wear skirts and dresses in public? Most people aren't comfortable with it.

Same double standard: it's ok to use male names/clothes on a girl, but not ok to use female names/clothes on a male.

Let her have her naming preferences, it's really petty in the grand scheme of things. This double standard exists everywhere you look, and while we might all hope for a world of perfect gender equality (or rigid heteronormative gender roles, if that's more your style) that's not the world we live in.

I would absolutely let my son wear WHATEVER he chooses, and I will be damned if anyone tells me it makes them uncomfortable. I understand that double standards exist, but that doesn't mean I have to accept them. If we all had your "this is the world we live in, get over it" attitude, we still wouldn't have the right to vote or the ability to work outside the home. 

tdart14

Well, Ronan is nms. But I have a daughter named Peyton, and another one due in a week who will be named Quinn. Both traditionally boys names I know, but I'm really not bothered by it.