How is your relationship with your MIL?

LaNorte

Just curious, but feel free to share war stories...

Trimby2409

My MIL is deceased. Before I came into the picture. I wish I did have the opportunity to meet her and I do truly wish she had the opportunity for her to get to know my children and vice versa.

LaNorte

I know there a lot of shades of grey between these options, too. I get along fairly well with my MIL, but I feel like that's because I let a lot of things go. She does mean well and is a kind person, but so uncomfortably overbearing and intrusive in our life (and DH feels the same way).

ambarnett1

I have a great relationship with my MIL.

UnofficiallyLO

Beau's mom is fantastic! She is very sweet and never wants to interfere or come off as pushy so sometimes I actually have to ask for her opinion- so lucky, I know.

ladygali

mamrotu73 said:

I won the MIL lottery, she is awesome. DH got the short end of the stick, my mom is a bit crazy but at least not a horrible person.

This is me, too. My MIL is great and so is my mom, but Mom is a little less "normal."

lokimau

My MIL is intrusive with no bondaries but yet cold and standoffish at the same time. She is very polite but there is no warmth. I come from a hugging southern family and it is just weird to me. When we visit my family, everyone wants to hold and snuggle LO. When we visit DH's family they just look at her.

Kyllarae

I don't have a MIL but E's paternal grandparents are in her life. We don't get along at all. She's shady and only has her son's interest in mind. She's one of those people that says terribly rude things to you with a smile on her face. I'm not looking forward to dealing with her for the remainder of my life.

BiggerinRealLife

She drive me nuts but I loved her very much. we had a limited relationship because she was a limited person. She died a month before Josie was born. She would have been her first grandchild. We're still dealing with the greif.

Tferr02

We fake polite, but we actually can't stand each other. She hated George's name and tried to convince the family to call him Joe instead.

mandacann

We get along really well but we're not best friends. We've never had an argument but can disagree on things without any drama. Having a baby has made us closer and I think if we lived in the same city we'd be much closer.

Rogue237

BiggerinRealLife said:

She drive me nuts but I loved her very much. we had a limited relationship because she was a limited person. She died a month before Josie was born. She would have been her first grandchild. We're still dealing with the greif.

Hugs, @BiggerinRealLife‌!

Rogue237

My MIL is great and my mom is great. My FIL has his moments though...

ambarnett1

Tferr02 said:

We fake polite, but we actually can't stand each other. She hated George's name and tried to convince the family to call him Joe instead.

That's incredibly annoying. It's not her son to name.

speechie517

She likes me and Im not her biggest fan. We have very different personalities and she is "woe is me" about life. she fakes being dumb about things, which I have no tolerance for. She also wants to know everybody's business all the time.

And she announced when my mom died on my Facebook before I'd even left the hospital. No one besides my brother and sister even knew yet. I find it very difficult to try to forgive this.

*sparky*

@speechie517‌ - I am so sorry. That is awful.

I love my MIL but can't stand my FIL so for that reason we don't see them as often. When she comes to visit by herself it is great.

BGGP9196

I have known my MIL all my life.  I used to just put up with her but after having kids we have gotten a lot closer.  She is a great grandma to the girls and loves to spoil them with food, clothes and love.

hordol

Rogue237 said:

My MIL is great and my mom is great. My FIL has his moments though...

Same.

lcr23

DHs parents are divorced so I unluckily have 2 terrible MILs

Ashleypixie

My mil has gotten better but she used to say things like, 'you're lucky to be married to (H) I don't know how you sunk your claws into him' or tell me I have no maternal instinct. One time she acted like a total bitch because I wasn't helping (H) bring in our suitcases even though I had JUST had a miscarriage two weeks before that and she was damn lucky we made the 14 hour drive after all of that. Now she's a lot nicer and careful about what she says. I don't know what changed. Now my mom has to be the most annoying mil ever. I don't even know where to start with my mom!

Teresa1896

Ss: she's the nicest person in the universe, and she occasionally bugs the crap out of me.

juniper75

My MIL is overbearing and has no boundaries but she also really loves her family and is a nice person. She believes though that she is head of the family and should get to call all the shots. Occaisionally we have come to standoffs over things. Once she stole a bunch of photos from my wedding album and when dh told her I would be upset she said tough I am pulling rank. I told dh that she should inform his mother that she has no rank in my marriage!

But my mother is no prize either and MIL is great with our kids and the only one who has ever looked after DD for us.

momofmanyinthemitten

I am actually more like FIL, so we're closer than I am with MIL. She had a very pushy MIL, so she knew to stand off a bit. My mom is an awesome MIL. I guess we're lucky to have both sets of parents who are good people.

edoliesmom

I got the better end of the deal in the MIL department for sure. My mom is selfish and self-destructive, and my MIL is generally a good person. Up until a week ago though, we had lived together for 7 months. I think that put a damper on our relationship. We love each other, but I kind of wish she saw me more as a daughter and not as much of a DIL, especially since she only has two sons. I'm pretty sure she prefers me over my SIL though, so I guess I can't complain.

cd92007

mamrotu73 said:

I won the MIL lottery, she is awesome. DH got the short end of the stick, my mom is a bit crazy but at least not a horrible person.

This describes my situation perfectly, too. I actually get along with my MIL better than with my mom.. She is crazy haha

RedDawnsRevenge

I hate my MIL. My mom is a descent MIL to DH, but my poor DH has to put up with my dad. Imagine R.Lee Ermey cast as the colonel in Men Who Stare at Goats. He's crazy.

misskristina21

mamrotu73 said:

I won the MIL lottery, she is awesome. DH got the short end of the stick, my mom is a bit crazy but at least not a horrible person.

This is us as well. My MIL is a wonderful, amazing, caring person. She helps me so much, with both girls. We lived together on and off the first 3.5 years DH and I were together, I love her as a second mother. My own mother has her own demons which prevents her from being a good mom/grandmother at times, but it's not an always thing and she isn't a terrible person.

Bluebird2318

I love my MIL! My relationship with her is more healthy than my relationship with my own mother (though I don't love my mother any less). She's a great woman. We do technically disagree on some things because she has a more conservative Christian perspective and I do not, but none of it impacts our relationship. 

AcaAwkward

We are very, very different. In person, we get along just fine, but I know she isn't my biggest fan. I'm not her biggest fan either, although I really try to make things friendly between us.

She isn't super respectful of our wishes in regards to the grandkids, but she does love them very much.

ladygali

edoliesmom said:

I got the better end of the deal in the MIL department for sure. My mom is selfish and self-destructive, and my MIL is generally a good person. Up until a week ago though, we had lived together for 7 months. I think that put a damper on our relationship. We love each other, but I kind of wish she saw me more as a daughter and not as much of a DIL, especially since she only has two sons. I'm pretty sure she prefers me over my SIL though, so I guess I can't complain.

I am also the preferred DIL for various reasons. Mostly because I'm good at sharing DS and my SIL/BIL aren't about their kids.

;;)

Abcollins57

Vinny424 said:

My mil is bat.shit.crazy.

We really should swap stories. My MIL decided to self diagnose herself as a sane person and quit taking her crazy meds (nerves pills and antidepressants) during my 4th month of pregnancy when I was hormonal and bitchy. We have always had a strained relationship but since then, I cannot tolerate her, period.

csmily51

mamrotu73 said:

I won the MIL lottery, she is awesome. DH got the short end of the stick, my mom is a bit crazy but at least not a horrible person.

This.

imogenisis

SS: no complaints about my mil, she's cool, but I wouldn't say we're "close."

DH definitely got screwed on the mil deal! I can't recall how many times I've threatened to delete her Facebook account. She is forever posting things she has no business sharing!

(Eta: premature initial post)

edoliesmom

Vinny424 said:

Abcollins57 said:

Vinny424 said:

My mil is bat.shit.crazy.

We really should swap stories. My MIL decided to self diagnose herself as a sane person and quit taking her crazy meds (nerves pills and antidepressants) during my 4th month of pregnancy when I was hormonal and bitchy. We have always had a strained relationship but since then, I cannot tolerate her, period.

My mil once said while smashed "I was to s*** your dad's d***" to me and even more horrifying things while trashed. She has an obsession with kris Jenner. She also told me before she went to a Britney Spears concert that she masterbated in the shower. She also got a letter from one of those shopping networks threatening to shut her off because she returned 85% return rate on THOUSANDS of dollars of shit. One time there was a wait at a restaurant and she tried to convince the hostess she was super important because she was in a limo. And at my wedding flipped out trying to get my dad to sent someone out to buy her an Egyptian silk cotton pillow.

In other words...




Sorry. Just so excited I know how to mobile gif now.

Twirple

I love my MIL.  She is a wonderful person.  We go over to their house almost every Sunday for brunch.  I know she will be there for me if I need help with anything, and she has asked for help as well.  The only minor downside is that she occasionally says things that are a bit off, though she is not malicious. 

For example, in a 12 month period, I had a miscarriage and lost one of the twins I was carrying.  My SIL (MIL's daughter) had two miscarriages.  The day after I had Carlene, my MIL thanked me for carrying her to term and having a healthy baby.  I know it was just her way of being thankful for her healthy granddaughter.  But it made me think that she, somehow, felt that SIL and I were responsible for our losses.

BeckyF82

My MIL is crazy in a sweet, anxious, nervous kind of way. She's never nasty, always helpful and my only issue with her is that she is a bit clingy with my DH (her DH left 20 years ago) and she still uses my DH as the man of the house. When I was 9 months pregnant she once called to demand my DH make the hours drive to her house because there was a dead pigeon on her driveway. When he said no there was a lot of crying down the phone from her about how he was "abandoning her" now he was married!

My mum on the other hand is a lunatic. Undiagnosed bi polar who refuses to get help. Can be lovely but often very self centred and demanding and often mean and nasty. DH deffo got the raw deal.

janice9821

I'm very lucky to have awesome in-laws. I'm staying with them for two weeks in October for an out of town work training so MIL can watch Cora during the day and I don't have to leave her at home.

dmosquera4

I have the best mother in law she is like my second mother I am very lucky... We have a awesome relationship I can talk to her about anything and she thinks of me as her daughter and treats me and lo so good, so does my FIL, they are my second family. My mother on the other hand is a bit overwhelming and crazy( is the Spanish in her lol) I love her to death but sometimes I can't handle her. My family is a bit crazy all together poor DH

Mustardseed2007

I hate to say that my feelings toward my mil have gotten less friendly since having this second lo. She is nice and I'm nice to her but comments my mil has made about bf and comparisons she's made between our lo and a family friend of theirs that recently had a baby have really made me feel ragey toward her-all in my head, nothing I've let myself say. I've kind of solved that by limiting the amount of time we hang out. Maybe it will thaw again once my kids get older...I have a feeling she will have opinions about other parenting decisions tho

Abcollins57

 

My mil once said while smashed "I was to s*** your dad's d***" to me and even more horrifying things while trashed. She has an obsession with kris Jenner. She also told me before she went to a Britney Spears concert that she masterbated in the shower. She also got a letter from one of those shopping networks threatening to shut her off because she returned 85% return rate on THOUSANDS of dollars of shit. One time there was a wait at a restaurant and she tried to convince the hostess she was super important because she was in a limo. And at my wedding flipped out trying to get my dad to sent someone out to buy her an Egyptian silk cotton pillow.

 

Yep, we're running neck and neck right now.  When DH and I first started dating, we all stopped at McDonald's to eat, she got an ice cream cone and told her husband at the table in front of six people, "I want you to lick my p---y like this."  Last year, we went to a movie, with my six year old at the time, and she got into a fight with her husband, she picks up a fork in the restaurant and yells, "i'll gouge your eyes out with this f---ing fork."  I picked up my purse and walked out.  DH had to pay the bill and find me. 

Why oh why couldn't we be blessed with those sweet matronly type MIL's??  I could even deal with meddling, but trashy and obnoxious just dont fly with me. 

eta: I did get a very sweet form of revenge when DH and I shucked our wedding plans and eloped to Vegas after she told me my dress was ugly, my venue was "horrible" and she was certain the food would be gross. We didn't tell anyone until we landed in Vegas.  She cried for two weeks cause she didnt get to see her firstborn son get married.  Wouldn't talk to me for about a month either........oh the sweet silence!! 

Keckers

My MIL is the sweetest, gentlest, nicest woman I've ever met but we've had a little trouble connecting over the years because its so hard for me to believe that her behavior is genuine. My issue, obviously. Not hers. We just have vastly different temperments.