Working Moms

do you visit your child at daycare midday?

I could 2 days a week but don't know if I should...I have been told that this could be hard on her by coming and then leaving her again.  But I sooooo want to go see her.  Just wondering if anyone does and how it goes?
Daughter born July 2008; Daughter born March 2010 Son born August 2011

Re: do you visit your child at daycare midday?

  • No I do not.  He has a hard enough time when I leave in the morning, I think if he saw me in the afternoon, he would freak out.
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  • I never did, even when DD was an infant. I had to pop in once or twice when I'd forgotten something and it made it worse (that's when she was about 6/7 months). Now, it would be a total disaster. I tried for Halloween and vowed I wouldn't go to another class party until DD is like 4. I know it's tempting- maybe just try it once if you can't resist. I just worry that kids then expect it all the time, but that's just me.
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  • yeah that is why I haven't done it... but she is only 6 months old and doesn't seem to care when I leave her there in the morning.  She does get excited to see me when I pick her up though.
    Daughter born July 2008; Daughter born March 2010 Son born August 2011
  • No.  I always worked too far away for it even to be an option.  And if I did he would think its time to go home.
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  • as an infant, yes.  she didn't know the difference and i have very fond memories of feeding her and putting her to sleep during my lunch hours. as a toddler, no.  she thought i was picking her up and it broke my heart.  i would recommend trying it (bc yes, the bonding time was THAT special), but if she doesn't respond well, then you've got your answer.  :)

  • I think it can be potentially disruptive to the structure of daycare - especially for toddlers. One parent visiting during lunchtime, means one kid is pulled away from their lunch time and all the other kids see one parent and then look around for their parent, etc................
  • no i only did it once or twice. it wasn't very productive (i tried to nurse) so I didn't do it more than that.
  • I go to bf my dd twice a day, no problem. It has become routine for her. However, not my ds, he is 2 1/2, and would have too much trouble adjusting to me leaving for a second time. It is so tempting, since he is right here at my work preschool, but it would break my heart to put him through seeing me leave a second time in one day.
  • I work too far away, but wouldn't do it anyway because I wouldn't want him to freak out when I left him again.  I don't think it would help him at all.  He didn't have any problems with me leaving him at daycare when he was 6 months old, but now he has stranger anxiety. 
  • our daycare asked us not to come during the day because the other babies think it's time to go and start looking around for their parents.

  • He's cared for in our home and I live 5 minutes from my office, so yes, I do run home at lunch a couple times a week.
  • Yes, I stop by a few times/week.  DC is at my work, so it's very convenient.  It's so nice to see his smiling face when I'm feeling stressed or having a bad day.  Right now, he seems to welcome my visits and doesn't seem to mind when I leave.  Now, if he starts to have separation issues, I will stop. 
  • I go by every day to play for a half hour or so.  I used to nurse, but he stopped wanting to nurse at daycare because he'd rather look around and play instead.  At our daycare, a lot of the moms come by (two of us definitely come every day and a few others come at least occasionally).  It's not really a problem. 

    Sometimes DS gets upset when I leave, but it's only for a few minutes.  If he was having meltdowns, I'd rethink.  He's almost the opposite, however--sometimes he'll be having a rough day and if I go visit, he does better the rest of the day.  His daycare provider calls it his mommy fix.  My problem now is that I feel obligated to go over there, so I feel bad when I have something else to do during lunch!  I'm not sure if I'll keep going when he gets to the toddler room.

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  • I nursed DD on my lunch hour from when she started at 3 months up to about 17 months.  The reason I stopped was that my lunch didn't line up well with her schedule.  She had lunch at 11:30, and naptime started around noon.  Sometimes I was able to nurse her to sleep before I left, but if I wasn't, it was a nightmare.  Now that she's older there's no way I could.  She'd want to come home with me the second she saw me.
    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
  • Yes, but I work there.  It took a few times for her to understand it but now it's fine most days.  I do my best to go at the same time everyday.  Try it for a couple weeks and ask dcp what they think about it.  If her teachers thought it wasn't working I wouldn't go anymore.
  • I go everyday and have since 8 mos when we switched DCP.  I LOVE it.  We've had 3 weeks off and now DD cries when I leave.  So I may just have to stop.  We'll see.

    It may be hard that you will only go a few days a week.

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