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March 2026 Babies
thescarletmom
member
September Randoms
thescarletmom
member
Let's chit chat!
Re: September Randoms
If I were in your shoes, I would talk to your friend and make it very much based on your personal experience and express concern, while also emphasizing your friend’s autonomy to maker her own choice (again, my personality is very hands off with advice). Which it sounds like you are very much pro-choices for your friend and just want her to be fully informed! Because you are a good friend!
I don’t know if that helps at all, but I hope your friend is doing ok and enjoys her newborn!
https://a.co/d/hVGpmKd
@emeraldcity603 I'm glad to hear this advice is off to other moms too... I was worried I was being dramatic. I did invite her to the community and told her about a great in-person support group that meets near us. I'm just worried about what other shitty advice they might be giving her today.
@emeraldcity603 I honestly think being pregnant with toddlers/older kids is just really hard! But I do also think being older/subsequent pregnancies just get harder over time. I'm only 28 but being successfully pregnant a 4th time with a barely 2 year old running around is making me bone-tired.
But i say eat all the garbage as a celebration of kicking the nausea, then get back to normal eating habits! Being pregnant is hard, some popcorn and ice cream after bedtime is earned!
I had gestational diabetes last pregnancy, so she’s requiring it early this time. Here they give us lab slips and then you have to go to a stand alone lab for blood and things of that nature.
@emeraldcity603 my friend will resell on Poshmark or Mercari, but she never gets nearly what she spent!
@RoseShadow873 that's so funny, I absolutely despised it! I think it might be because I'm a firmer mattress/pillow kind of person. But it was my brother's bed and he clearly liked it enough!
The Doona I was also considering, but I've since gravitated away from it due to price point, how heavy the reviews say it is, and the lack of storage. I've seen some here brand new on marketplace for $300-400, some people who were gifted them on their registry and got doubles so selling for half price, but even with that I'm still convinced may not be the best option as I will be the main one lifting once husband returns back to work. I used the baby trend all terrain with a snap and removable car seat, used well past a year since he was still within weight limit. Where I live I needed an all terrain and although it was a little heavy and bulky, I got used to it, had plenty of storage, so versatile and the wheels never got stuck. Use it to this day.
Regarding BF advice, some women are impossible to get through once they've decided, and especially at that stage so delicate mentally I can see why you're a bit hesitant to give advice. My sister was one who definitely hated it, said it hurt, gave up, and resorted in the bottle. I was the complete opposite, but then again I have ample knowledge in the benefits, and mentally I was dedicated to not giving up. Most of the advice already given is right on par with what we know as mothers who have BF, and what I would recommended. She shouldn't be without the baby at all really this early and always be doing skin to skin for multiple reasons/benefits. I also agree with what someone said about best friends and being able to have safe spaces to relay concerns and advice. It's definitely an important time to say something now because the time is now not to give up and be persistent because breastfeeding isn't an easy journey in the beginning especially for a FTM. I don't know her personality type, if she is like my sister (stubborn) but if she's impressionable and can handle challenges and knows benefits, doesn't want to give up definitely worth speaking from the heart but not sound like an overbearing know it all, because I think that can definitely be annoying lol. She can also ask for another lactation consultant there are a ton out there, and not every one is created equally. Unrelated to the exact topic but I had a night nurse in my PP unit who was trying to put both my pain medications together to make her job easier/less visits instead of spacing them apart for better pain management coverage, and in the state I was in I was able to catch it and be like, "listen lady, this is what I noticed and this is what's happening, this is what I want, this is q4, this is q6 you're trying to put them together and that's not in my best interest for pain management, and when you come in here please be quiet, and ask and check when he was last fed first, my sleep is important". She was older, obnoxious, and rude I was so tired of it. Everytime she walked in she was purposely loud to wake up my newborn to make him nurse after he had already been fed and I had just gotten him down. She got to know me very quickly 😆in that state too, but she ultimately changed her tune and behavior. I had her for 2 nights 🙄. At my age and my personality type I'm also much more outspoken then when I was in my teens or twenties, so idk if she is that way but that also makes a difference in trying alternatives and different approaches. Does she have a BF pillow?
@blossomingmama thank goodness, she is doing fantastic with breastfeeding. I waited until she got home with him to explain that some of the things they told her did not mesh with my knowledge and experience, and shared my recommendations. She's texted me almost every day for advice and has been such a trooper working through all the new mom breastfeeding challenges! She got her tiny guy to latch the other day and he did great, and I'm so proud of her just generally. Even if she didn't, I'd be proud of her for trying and listening to her own needs, but as someone who also was really committed to bfing personally, I'm so happy to be able to help her reach her goals.