Ask Us Anything Thread

virtaur · January 2024

A catch-all thread for an AMA-style question & answer and for a place to share the nitty gritty and unknown of third tri, L&D, birth, PP, and beyond. FTMs ask us anything & everything you want to know. STMs+ feel free to share whatever you think is pertinent and helpful to know as a FTM. This is where we can talk about tips & tricks and unexpected situations. Please add a TW to sensitive or traumatic information. And a general warning that topics about birth can be intense and messy but it really is best to be informed & prepared!!

@BumpAdmin can we get this pinned please?

HGRich · January 2024

I would be happy to answer questions about gestational diabetes, induction, and postpartum topics like PPD and difficulty breastfeeding/ triple feeding.

virtaur · January 2024

Same as @HGRich except for the GD! I can talk about gestational hypertension though! Also PPA (symptoms & treatment), birth trauma, assisted birth (forceps), epidurals & pain management, tearing & recovery, supplementing/pumping & building supply, mirena IUD insertion at 6 week checkup, vaginismus/painful cervical checks, labor signs, body changes, long induction/infection, excessive bleeding, tongue ties, circumcision, pelvic floor therapy, perineal healing/damage, PP sex, anything newborn, etc!

virtaur · January 2024

Also, even if you’re not part of May 2024 but want to join in on this discussion, we’d love to hear from you! Our group is so smol

HGRich · January 2024

Oh yeah. You reminded me of others. I had a third degree tear with DD, and resultant vaginismus and pelvic floor pt. I can talk about that too.

We don’t circumcise and I can talk about why if anyone is curious.

I can also talk a little about advocating for yourself from the experience of not knowing I could and experiencing a membrane sweep against my consent and it being an awful memory even nearly seven years ago.

kamikazezoomy · January 2024

@virtaur can you tell me about your experience with gestational hypertension? Symptoms and treatment/how you dealt with it, how it affected the rest of your pregnancy? I haven’t been officially diagnosed, but my doc put me on a low-dose aspirin prescription a couple months ago because my BP was on the high side of normal, and the readings I’ve been taking at home lately have been on the high side as well…

virtaur · January 2024

@kamikazezoomy sure thing! During my pregnancy with my son my BP would fluctuate a lot, sometimes it was borderline high in either systolic or diastolic but no one mentioned anything to me, (I only know because I went back to my appts and looked at my numbers recently). My BP didn’t creep up until late third tri though. At my 39 week appt it was higher than normal but again they didn’t mention it. I didn’t really have any symptoms that I can remember. I would get headaches occasionally but I’d check my BP and it would be under the 140/90 so I never attributed them to that. Anyway I randomly decided to check my BP when I was home at 39w5d and it was over 140/90. I checked a few more times hours later and it was still high. So I called the midwife on duty and she said to come into the hospital, they ran labs and I wasn’t quite in the pre-e spot yet but they decided to keep me and induce me since I was so close to my DD anyway. So overall didn’t affect me too much other than having to be induced which I kinda regret now only because my body wasn’t ready.

This time my numbers have varied a bit as well but overall have looked pretty good. I’ve also been taking baby aspirin and checking my BP occasionally at home. I’m hoping it doesn’t go up again because I really want to start labor on my own but we’ll see!

virtaur · January 2024

Question for TTM+: I’ve heard that even if you BF before it still hurts with every new baby. I’m assuming it’s because of latch/small mouth? what’s been your experience with this? With my first it didn’t stop hurting until he was between 8-9 weeks old and he even had his tongue tie revised at 2 weeks, I think it was an issue with his latch and my nipple size. Anyway, I’m super not looking forward to it hurting again but I’m 🤞🏻 if it does it’s not for as long this time lol

kamikazezoomy · January 2024

Thank you, that puts my mind at ease. Mine fluctuates a lot and sometimes it’s great and sometimes not. Sorry you had to induce, that sounds no fun!

virtaur · January 2024

@kamikazezoomy of course! Has it been over 140/90 at all? That seems to be their threshold but they also look for consistently high numbers. The good news is they might have other ways like diet or medication to help lower it. I would ask at your next appt!

kamikazezoomy · January 2024

@virtaur First thing this morning it was 150/80, but within a half hour it was back down to 121/73. I’m definitely going to talk to my doc at the next appointment about it and am trying to compile plenty of readings to share with her

HGRich · January 2024

@virtaur yes, it did hurt again with my son. But not for quite as long. I also elected to go immediately to nipple shields rather than put it off. I’d had a good experience getting DD to latch with them and then switching off of them super easily when she was a couple months old. So I did it again with DS and it helped a bit, but yeah. Still painful at first. They SAY nursing shouldn’t be painful but I don’t know who these people are who don’t have pain. But also both of mine needed tongue ties revised and I’ve always wondered if that was a factor in the pain.

virtaur · January 2024

@kamikazezoomy glad to hear it goes down!! I hope it ends up not being a big deal!

@HGRich thanks for sharing! I never used the shields but I should have,I asked H to buy me ones from target when we were on the way home from the first pedi appt and the only size they had were too small for me. I think my nipples/areola are pretty large so thats the main source of pain for me because when my son would latch he wouldn’t be able to fit enough in his mouth. It got a little better after his tongue tie revision but the pain didn’t go away completely until that two month mark and all of a sudden one day it didn’t hurt anymore. It also didn’t help that no one in the hospital noticed the latch was off until I was feeding him for almost 24 hours so by then my nips were already cracked & bleeding 😭 I had no idea what I was doing and could barely move to get him into a better position. I was always asking the nurses for help haha

HGRich · January 2024

@virtaur yeah, nurses can be less informed about latch than a lactation consultant. It can’t hurt to buy larger shields in advance and have them on hand at the hospital. If your son’s pediatrician has a lactation consultant you could maybe even meet with them to ask questions before hand about sizing for shields and pump flanges. Or at the very least an online breastfeeding support group. I have a local one with two certified lactation consultants and a doula and they’re really kind about answering questions.

My issue is largely that my nipples are pretty distinctly different sizes and it confuses my poor babies and they have to learn to adjust their latch depending on which one they’re on. Lol.

virtaur · January 2024

@HGRich yeah it was pretty confusing because the hospital had a lactation consultant that would come around a couple times so everyone was telling me a little something different. I’ll look into larger size shields though I can probably order them online!

& aw yeah I can see how that can be hard in the beginning. The size really impacts latch I’ve noticed!

bserena · January 2024

Also here to say AMA! I am a STM but also a doula, so have had training on lots of things birth and postpartum.

virtaur · February 2024

Bump

virtaur · February 2024

This question is for my TTM+ mamas:

If you tore during one birth, what degree was it and did you tear again in a subsequent vaginal delivery?

I ask because I’m super scared of tearing badly again. I know I tore the way I did (almost 4th degree) because of forceps, and I wouldn’t do them again. However I do want to attempt a vaginal delivery. My H thinks I shouldn’t even bother and to schedule a C-section instead. So looking to hear some experiences!

HGRich · February 2024

I had a nearly 4th degree tear with my first. But with my second it was only a 1st degree. A couple stitches. And he was bigger. I think it was mainly because I asked a nurse to apply a damp cloth to my perineum and push with counter pressure as he was coming out. She did, and much less tearing. I also plan to do some perineal massage after week 35 this time, and ask for counter pressure again during delivery. Even if my husband has to do it. Ha. I didn’t even question doing vaginally again after the first. And it was better, as I had hoped.

virtaur · February 2024

@HGRich thank you for sharing! I’m glad that you had a much better experience. I think I could handle a 1 or even 2 degree. I’m just terrified of more muscle damage. I also lost some of my perineum so I’m worried the scar tissue that’s there won’t be able to stretch as much as it needs to. I think I’ll ask my OB to look in a month or so to see what she thinks. It’s challenging because I would take a scheduled C-section recovery over the recovery of what I had with my son (based on others recovery stories). But I don’t want to assume that it will be that bad again.

mar11btf · February 2024

Hi Mom's!

At my 28 week check up the baby was in a breech presentation. When does it become a concern if baby is breech and should I be doing any exercises/tricks to get the baby head down? I do not meet with my OB until 32 weeks. Any tips for knowing what position the baby is currently in?

Thanks in advance!

HGRich · February 2024

@mar11btf you still have time for baby to flip head down. At my 24 week, he was lying transverse. I wasn’t concerned but it was uncomfortable so I did some inversions from the spinning babies website and then I kinda pushed on where his head was according to the ultrasound, and I felt him roll head down. I haven’t had another ultrasound yet to confirm but I can tell from where his hiccups are that his head is down. Hiccups are a solid indicator. But you can encourage baby to go head down with several techniques from spinning babies and it doesn’t hurt to start whenever you like.

virtaur · February 2024

@mar11btf it’s hard for me to tell with this baby. I am optimistic that she turned head down, but I haven’t asked since her anatomy scan. When the doctor checks her HB it’s lowish which makes me think she is. I plan on asking next week at my 32 week. But like @HGRich said there’s still time! I’ve heard of spinning babies, miles circuit, and the pool to be tools that have been used to get baby to flip and stay head down. And then there’s always an ECV but there are risks with that and it can be painful. They didn’t check with my son until closer to full term by feeling for the head. And you can ask to feel it so you can tell too!

HGRich · February 2024

@virtaur recovery after my first was pretty awful but I’m still more afraid of a c sec than doing that again, personally. Though also aware I could wind up with one anyway. One never knows.

virtaur · February 2024

@HGRich yeah it’s so hard because you never know what’s going to happen. There was a lady in my last BMB who had a 3rd degree and she said she was perfectly fine after a few weeks or something like that. It took me weeks to be able to walk normally and months to recover. The tissue didn’t heal correctly and my muscle damage was pretty bad. I’m attributing it to the fast and rough nature of huge salad tongs pulling my 8 lb baby out lol. I’m scared of a possible c section recovery too. Manifesting best case scenarios for all of us!!

chickaboom3 · February 2024

@virtaur I’m sorry about your tear

I had a small tear with my first, I think they did one or two stitches and then no tearing at all with my second. My babies were both pretty small - 6lb12oz. But I found second time around easier in that respect. Hoping third is even smoother 🤞🏼

virtaur · February 2024

@chickaboom3 thank you! It was a difficult experience because I knew whether I chose forceps or c section in that moment that I would end up with a scar and long term healing. But my son was born with no issues except a couple bruises so I’m very grateful he was okay!

That’s awesome about your births! Fx for no tearing for you again!

louloumama · February 2024

Has anyone used or is using a doula? I hadn’t thought about it until this last week- third tri and shit is getting real. I’m less concerned about birth but more so feeling anxious and insecure about getting ready, and then postpartum. I don’t really have family or friends who will be there to pop by and offer guidance and support postpartum and I’m already prone to anxiety and depression, so I can foresee it being a hard time for me.
but I’m a bit hesitant because I don’t want my partner to feel like I don’t think he’s capable of supporting me…. And I also don’t want someone who will try to influence me toward a certain type of birth or something? I have an OB and will give birth in a hospital and am ok with drugs. I suppose I can ask them these types of questions during free consultations (I have one on Saturday).
thoughts welcome!

pennyandzooey · February 2024

@louloumama I had a birth doula, and she was wonderful. She really made me feel like I was in charge of my birth when things went a little sideways. We met with a couple before we decided on who we vibed with best, which I highly recommend.

HGRich · February 2024

@louloumama I’ve never had a doula even though I would in a heartbeat if I could afford it. If I had to choose between birth or postpartum I would choose postpartum, personally.

But if you want support during birth and postpartum, I don’t think you need to feel bad. If you can communicate to your partner in advance that it’s not about what you think he cannot do but because you want and deserve extra support and you know that a doula will be in a mental space to be advocating for you even if you or he are stressed or questioning something, then hopefully he can see that it’s just practical and doesn’t reflect on him. Aside from the fact that a postpartum doula is able to be helpful in ways he may not think of or is too tired or just doesn’t have expertise in. I hope you can find one!

bserena · February 2024

@louloumama hi! So, I am a doula, lol. I actually became one after my first was born because I didn't have a good experience and got really passionate about birth and knowledge. As a mom, if I could afford a doula I would 100% have one. As a doula, I think your concerns are valid and lots of women have the same thought process! A big part of my training was learning how to support the mom but also support the partner in supporting the mom! For example, at a recent birth, my focus was on coaching the husband on things he could do to feel involved and be helpful to mom. A good doula will take into consideration how involved the spouse wants to be and then push for that to happen. Many spouses want to be involved but don't necessarily know how, especially when things get chaotic. So a doula can guide them in those moments. Highly recommend talking to prospective doulas on how they would interact with/support your partner.

As far as your second statement, a big part of being a doula is setting aside our own beliefs and supporting the mom in the birth that she wants! For example, some doulas may be all about natural home births for themselves, but that should never influence how they assist you. With my clients, I make sure to get an in depth look into what they want, and then support them to make sure that happens as much as possible. Whether that be epidural or not, vaginal or c section, etc. Mom's wants and needs are the top priority here.

I think the biggest tip I have would just be to do a few interviews and see who you vibe with! You want to feel comfortable with them. There is tons of research that having a doula can improve your experience significantly - so if you can afford it and find someone you feel good about, I think it is worth it.

Postpartum doulas are also AMAZING, you may find someone who does both, or may need two separate people. A birth doula typically will have two postpartum visits with you as part of the birth package, but those are more focused on question answering and making sure you feel good about your birth. A real postpartum package is more hands on with baby, breastfeeding support if applicable, etc. I think it is definitely worth looking into!

png23 · February 2024

What should I expect with placenta previa & baby measuring small? Definitely very anxious right now.

virtaur · February 2024

png23 said:

What should I expect with placenta previa & baby measuring small? Definitely very anxious right now.

Depending on how far along you are, they will monitor the placenta placement to see if it moves as your uterus grows. A lot of the time it resolves itself, but if it doesn’t by the time you get close to full term they’ll schedule a c-section. As far as baby measuring small, they will monitor that as well. Sometimes they deliver early if baby would be better off growing on the outside. You’ll most likely have extra ultrasounds and close monitoring.

HGRich · February 2024

@png23 my low lying placenta resolved itself and is no longer a concern. Yours may yet. And baby measuring small is not usually a concern, unless you wind up with an IUGR diagnosis. Either way, both of those are a wait and see. Hang in there.

png23 · March 2024

I got the call for IUGR today 😔 trying not to stress. I am a pretty petite woman myself (I'm 5'4 & 115lbs pre-pregnancy). I'm 27w, they have me on pelvic restriction and are requesting additional scans with a specialist. I had gestational hypertension with my first so pre-e has been a watch out. Trying not to go down he google rabbit hole looking into it, although it does say a usual cause for IUGR is chronic hypertension?

virtaur · March 2024

@png23 I’m sorry to hear that! I’m sure they will keep a close eye on you and baby. I just followed Lauren Meadows on IG recently and she is 31 weeks and will be delivering at 34 (I think) due to small baby size & high BP. So you’re definitely not alone! And don’t google! I think it can be caused by a few things, has your BP been high this pregnancy?

png23 · March 2024

I unfortunately don't have IG I'm an odd duck I know lol. We found out pretty late in the pregnancy that I was expecting (3mo) and I've only had 3 appointments so far, 1st at a wonderful clinic to get proof of pregnancy to get in with an OB who I had my 20w and 24w with. The clinic said they had a hard time getting accurate measurements for sizing/due date calculating. I wasn't sure on my LMP because they've been irregular for a year or so since I miscarried my last. My OB is not my favorite, she is very rushed and they forgot to take my BP last appointment. When I called to tell her that she said I must be mistaken. I pulled up my charts and they just copied the numbers from my prior visit. She also forgot to send the referral for my anatomy scan, so my 24w appointment I asked why I hadn't heard for scheduling it yet and she realized only then that she forgot to send the request. So my anatomy scan was late. The specialist I hope can get some more accurate images and better care and answers. In he mean time, I'm just extremely nervous that something's wrong with her or she's not getting enough nutrients

HGRich · March 2024

@png23 that’s definitely stressful and I’m sorry to hear that. Now that they’re closely monitoring your baby I’m sure you’ll be in good hands. If it helps, I was an IUGR baby and my mom had me at 35 weeks. I was in the nicu for only like a week or so? Maybe ten days? And I’ve had no problems since. I’m sure it’s really hard having to deal with this on top of loss last year and not finding out right away.

png23 · March 2024

Thank you & thank you for taking the time to answer and give me hope. I'll go in for my first meet with the specialist this week. I know sometimes they never pinpoint the cause of the IUGR, did your mom ever figure out the cause? They want to check to see if the placenta previa placement is impacting my umbilical cord. It's crazy because she is moving around like crazy in there and everything feels normal lol

HGRich · March 2024

@png23 I don’t know, and my mother doesn’t remember. She had a frustrating doctor who didn’t communicate well with her. My brother, five years later, was not IUGR, that’s all I know. She had miscarried before me and has a history of PCOS but I don’t think I’ve ever heard that either of those things could contribute. Good luck, and I’m sure your doctors will do all the monitoring needed and hopefully you can keep baby in there quite awhile.

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