Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
padski13
member
Re: Covering the cost of IVF
I haven't heard about it, but, loans? I don't know, I would be skeptikal, and maybe I'd try all the other possible ways to cover the cost (family, friends, etc)
39 years old DH 41. Sperm looks great. We live in San Diego
Me: ****TW loss mentioned***
MTHFR Homozygous 677TT (dx 2016)
hypothyroid
8/2018 Off birth control
11/29/2018 CP
2/10/2019. CP
3/8/2019 Saw fertility doctor, AFC 5, labs drawn
3/14/2019 Pregnant
4/18/2019 9 week ultrasound MM , stopped growing at 6 weeks, no HB. D&C
5/2/2019 Return to fertility doctor, labs show AMH 0.27. Diminished Ovarian Reserve
1st of 3 Egg retrievals planned tentatively for July
6/29/2019 started Antagonist Protocol
7/12/2019 First egg retrieval, only retrieved one egg and fell apart immediately, poor quality.
8/7/2019. Second cycle (follicular antagonist) canceled on day 5 of stims when a very large lead follicle grew out of nowhere.
11/8/2019. Second Egg retrieval with Lupron Flare Protocol. 2 eggs retrieved, fertilized with ICSI but no reaction occurred at all. Told I will never have my own babies with my eggs.
12/20/2019 ERA - pre-receptive. Needed 24 hours more of progesterone
2/2020 CP
3/2/2020 Egg donor cycle in Prague at Unica Clinic, 2 AA embryos, 1 transfer, 1 on ice. BFN. Due to pandemic, we could not return to Prague and will abandon our remaining embryo.
4/20/2020. BFP trying on our own!
06/04/2020 After HBs at 7 and 9 weeks, MM at 10 weeks 3 days. D&C, Hemorrhaged out 1 liter of blood from uterine artery rupture during procedure. Spent 1 night in the hospital with a balloon tamponade in my uterus. Baby was mosaic Trisomy 21.
8/2020. Moving forward with Donor Egg cycle at Utah Fertility Center and sharing a cycle with ladypOtter (Gina) I met on the Bump who was also supposed to go to Prague but couldn't.
9/26/2020 Donor retrieval of 26 eggs, 24 mature. Split cycle so I have 12 eggs with all 12 fertilizing. 6 PGS normal 3 boys, 3 girls
10/29/2020 Transfer day of girl donor egg embryo. BFP! First HCG 92.9. Then inappropriate rise, plateau and falling. Possibly ectopic pregnancy. ER visit with diagnosis of "pregnancy location unknown". CP
1/19/2021 Embryos shipped from Utah to my local clinic, starting prednisone for anti-histamine protocol.
2/26/2021 FET girl embryo BFP. Betas 62, 139, 386! HB at 6 weeks, then baby stopped growing at 8 week check up with weak HB measuring 6 weeks 4 days. MM at 9 weeks. D&C 4/15/21
7/13/2021 FET boy and girl embryos. First beta 10dp5dt 177, 14dp5dt 1631, 16dp5dt 6809. Pregnant with Identical triplets. At 9 weeks, Baby C no longer had a heart beat. Identical Twin Girls. Pregnancy complicated by TRAP Sequence with baby C an Acardiac fetus still receiving blood flow being pumped to it by other girls. Referred to UCSF at 18 weeks for consultation. No intervention needed at this time
2/18/22 After a failed NST, at 34 weeks 1 day, Charlotte born 4lb 4oz and Lily born 4lbs 10 oz. Our hearts are complete. Baby girls in NICU to grow and learn to eat.
The thing is that government-run IVF centers are few and even if they are available then they are far between. Usually, per cycle the rates are high so yes it is debatable as to the costs involved and how really successful the process is.
The sad part is that pregnancy treatments do not come under medical insurance so one could argue that the treatment is on the higher side. However, the good thing is that IVF centers have come up with an EMI option for people who cannot afford the costs of the treatment.