Weekly Check-in 1/30

peyts228 · January 2023

Estimated Due Date / Weeks + Days:

FTM/STM/STM+:

Team Boy/Girl/Surprise:

Interesting baby fact / Baby is the size of:

Upcoming appointments:

How are you feeling:

Rants / Raves:

Questions:

GTKY: if you could have dinner with one celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose?

thescarletmom · January 2023

Estimated Due Date / Weeks + Days:

20+5, June 14

FTM/STM/STM+:

Third time mom

Team Boy/Girl/Surprise:

Girl

Interesting baby fact / Baby is the size of:

Baby's palm is the size of an altoid, which is insane

Upcoming appointments:

Midwife appt on Thursday this week, I'll get the final report from our anatomy scan then! A little nervous just to not have an official all clear yet, but I didn't notice anything funky/baby's kidneys looked normal (my husband has a congenital cystic kidney disease). I'm sure my midwife would call me sooner than my appt if the report wasn't normal anyways.

How are you feeling:

Pretty good! Baby is moving SO much and it's a sweet relief. She kicks a lot whenever DH or one of her brothers is sitting next to me/touching my side 🩶 however, my lungs are starting to get crowded and taking deep breaths is not easy! I get out of breath if I try to walk and talk at the same time. Curse my asthma and this cold snap the Midwest has going on.

Rants / Raves:

Can't wait to not trigger my gag reflex every time I brush my teeth. More seriously, after my anatomy scan I've had waves of being really bummed my dad isn't here to celebrate welcoming this new baby, and that he wasn't here for DS2 either. Our relationship was not perfect and he died in the middle of us working on it, but he loved DS1 so much.

Questions:

Not a question, but noticed some voices have dropped off and if you're here lurking, we miss you! I tried to tag some and their usernames wouldn't pop up, but you know how you are. 🩶

GTKY: if you could have dinner with one celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose?

Oof I always suck at these questions. I don't really keep up with celebrities or anything. There's a part of me that wants to say Lee Harvey Oswald, just to find out once and for all if he did it, because my dad was fascinated by the JFK assassination (he was 3 months old when it happened). But I don't really want to have dinner with the guy, just ask him a question he has to answer truthfully haha. I guess I'd actually want to have dinner with Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It's been a dream of mine since I started my paralegal degree years ago to become a judge one day.

bridgettetheboxer · January 2023

Estimated Due Date / Weeks + Days: June 24, 19+2

FTM/STM/STM+: 3rd time mom

Team Boy/Girl/Surprise: finding out next week!!

Interesting baby fact / Baby is the size of: I think yesterday it said hot dog? And I sort of hate that imagery lol

Upcoming appointments: anatomy scan and general midwife appt next Thursday. I’m dying hahah. This was 5 weeks instead of four and I’m getting ridiculously impatient. My whole family is DYING for a baby boy. But I feel like my gut is saying it’s a girl.. so idk.

How are you feeling: not awesome. My teeth sensitivity so so bad rn. It is always bad during my pregnancies but it has been particularly terrible these last few weeks. Also, migraines.

Rants / Raves: my sister is pregnant!! I am so excited, our babies will be two month apart and this will be my kids first cousin on my side. I’m so thrilled about it, I honestly never thought she’d have kids, but she is super excited about it now.

Questions: none as of right now.

GTKY: if you could have dinner with one celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose?
Oh man I have no idea… I’ll think on this one

thescarletmom · January 2023

@bridgettetheboxer I felt like in my gut this baby would be a third boy, but then literally like 36 hours before my anatomy scan I had a dream the baby was a girl! I always honor the dream (it's been right all 3 times now!) but I still felt like this would be the time it was wrong and surely baby would be a boy at the scan. I think when you've been a "boy/girl mom" for long enough, you kind of can't easily imagine anything else? At least for me I think that was a big factor. I hope your scan goes well next week!! And that you get your boy, if that's what you're hoping for too!

pttomato · January 2023

Estimated Due Date / Weeks + Days: 19w 3days, June 23

FTM/STM/STM+: TTM

Team Boy/Girl/Surprise: Girl

Interesting baby fact / Baby is the size of: tomato!

Upcoming appointments: I see the MFM on Wednesday

How are you feeling: I had a reaction to the spinal anesthesia so they weren’t able to place the cerclage on Friday. I’m feeling really anxious and hyper aware of every little feeling, second guessing what it might mean.

Rants / Raves: I was finally feeling excited about this pregnancy and starting to look at baby stuff, and now I’m too afraid to buy anything.

Also it’s hard finding a balance between wanting to still be there for the kids and cuddle them, but also afraid of DS being rough or elbowing me in the belly. The more we talk about being gentle and set boundaries around it the harder time he has being gentle.

Questions:

GTKY: if you could have dinner with one celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose? IDK

kalesix3 · January 2023

Estimated Due Date / Weeks + Days:

June 4th- 22 weeks

FTM/STM/STM+:
Third time mom

Team Boy/Girl/Surprise:
Team green 🍏

Interesting baby fact / Baby is the size of:

Papaya but I'm not sure if I can accurately remember how big those are, tb says as tall is a roll of paper towels which definitely seems bigger than a papaya

Upcoming appointments:
Feb 9th and 16 for my last ultrasound here and probably last prenatal appointment.

How are you feeling:

I've been feeling really sick again lately, maybe because of stronger movement? And my gums bleed over nothing which is annoying but I'm sleeping well and have energy so I'll take it.

Rants / Raves:
I've been able to see outside kicks for awhile but today I caught them in camera 🥺
My two year old has been saying "me mate it" about making his own snacks or doing tasks around the kitchen and it's so cute I'm not sure why it gets demonized in parenting memes, it's not rude, it's so cute to see him full of enthusiasm and self confidence that he can "make" something all on his own.
Rant is that we have another four days at least of below zero temps and every day for the past two weeks it's snowed. I don't mind winter usually but my poor son wants to go outside so badly and we can't. 😭

Questions:

GTKY: if you could have dinner with one celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose?
I want to say Taylor Swift but realistically I'd have nothing to talk to her about probably lol.

peyts228 · January 2023

Estimated Due Date / Weeks + Days: 6/23; 19w3d

FTM/STM/STM+: STM

Team Boy/Girl/Surprise: Girl

Interesting baby fact / Baby is the size of: a mango?

Upcoming appointments: Wednesday for OB; 2/13 for anatomy scan

How are you feeling: pretty good, although I'm seeing that I'm not alone with sensitive, bleeding gums.

Rants / Raves: Rant: My 2yo has strep which triggered hip inflammation, so he hasn't been able to walk on his own since Wednesday. It's been chaos, and I feel so bad for him.

Rave: his doc has been amazing, and so have my work colleagues who are covering for me. If you're a FTM, interview pediatricians until you find a good match- it's worth it!

Questions:

GTKY: if you could have dinner with one celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose? Tom Hanks, just because he seems like a good hang.

monkey_mcfee · January 2023

Estimated Due Date / Weeks + Days: 21w 2D

FTM/STM/STM+: ftm

Team Boy/Girl/Surprise: team girl!

Interesting baby fact / Baby is the size of: her foot is the length of a paper clip, she weighs as much as a can of soda

Upcoming appointments: end of February for my next ob appointment

How are you feeling: generally great, although today is heartburn central

Rants / Raves: my hair has finally stopped dropping like crazy, so that’s nice

Questions:

GTKY: if you could have dinner with one celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose? Shulamith Firestone - she’s one of my favorite second wave feminists!

jilliankayp · January 2023

Estimated Due Date / Weeks + Days: June 24th, 19 w + 2 d

FTM/STM/STM+: FTM

Team Boy/Girl/Surprise: girl

Interesting baby fact / Baby is the size of: mango

Upcoming appointments: anatomy scan on Friday!

How are you feeling: a little more nervous these days

Rants / Raves: rave for my acupuncture mat!

Questions: nothing I can think of rn :)

GTKY: if you could have dinner with one celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose?
Reese Witherspoon for sure.

thescarletmom · January 2023

@kalesix3 I've also noticed a sudden uptick in nausea/vomiting again, and wondered the same thing! Baby has gotten STRONG with the kicks, but she prefers rolling and that can really stir up some nausea for me. I've been struggling with bloody noses for a few months now but bloody gums have come on the scene recently too.

Also same re: toddlers doing things 🥺 last week I was almost late for work because I *had* to watch DS2 take his little bowl to the cereal dispenser, get some cereal, take it to the table and climb up in a chair to eat it all by himself. He didn't ask for help or need any intervention so I just watched him and felt very sentimental and goofy about it. I'm normally an incredibly emotional and nostalgic person, but it's been extra lately. Over the weekend I found a "book" DS1 made at school last year while organizing my desk and nearly cried because he's just so sweet.

And also the cold weather that just blasted through the Midwest is insane. DS2 loves being outside and we just can't take him out because it's so cold. We tried going to the park over the weekend when it was in the thirties, but the windchill was so strong. All DS2 wanted was for me to hold him while we stood on the playground. He didn't want to leave but he was just too cold to play! Poor babies.

hitcj4687 · January 2023

Due June 13th
21 weeks

Stm

Boy

Size of an endive

Anatomy scan February 10th

How are you feeling?: hungry lmao. So much eating. My boobs feel huge and my nipples have like tripled in size, I hate that.

Rants/raves: while I have more energy lately, I have no motivation lol

Questions: none currently

Gtky: omg that's so hard. I really dont know. I have a fascination with serial killers and a few I'd like to ask some questions to, but certainly not sit down and have a meal with lol. If you had asked me in me young, angsty teenage days, I'd have said Kurt Cobain in a heartbeat.

thescarletmom · February 2023

@hitcj4687 my boobs feel massive. They've grown 2-3 sizes and are so firm. You'd think I wouldn't be so shocked by it after 2 complete pregnancies and breastfeeding 2 babies, but man it's a doozy.

Also same, huge true crime kinda gal since I was a way-too-little kid watching criminal minds with my mom. I have many of them I'd like to ask questions (and get an honest answer) but don't really want to look them in the face at all let alone eat near them. Burke Ramsey, let's chat buddy. Israel Keyes, we need more information please.

hitcj4687 · February 2023

@thescarletmom do your nipples get bigger and darker too? I know it's related to nursing and your infant being able to see your nipples easier. But I cannot stand the way they look right now!

Omg Israel Keyes kills me. And he's dead so we will never truly know! I know there are all the documentaries and interviews, but I feel so many of those answers aren't real, because so many serial killers are always looking to put on a show and they don't answer honestly. Right now I'm obsessed with the Australian podcast, monsters who murder.

thescarletmom · February 2023

@hitcj4687 yes, they definitely darken a lot for me too. TMI maybe, but since you asked they go from like a dark peachy pink color when not pregnant, to huge and deep mahogany brown color while pregnant and early nursing. My areolas have probably doubled in size, nipples themselves I don't think have changed significantly. I feel like pancake nipple girl from Pitch Perfect lol.

Israel Keyes is so messed up, just because the forethought and waiting and planning. I'm sure he did way more than we'll ever be able to prove. I've listened to a couple different podcasts, Morbid, MFM, Murder Squad, currently I'm listening to Affirmative Murder and I really love it. MFM is great and all, but they're in their 50s and I just don't relate to them in a lot of ways, but the hosts of Affirmative Murder are our age! I tried Crime Junkie and dropped that one after an episode where they blamed a teenage girl for her murder because she snuck out, and they ranted about how kids are bad and they'd never have kids because they're so dumb, etc. No thank you, victim blamers?? I want to listen to more, but I don't usually tend towards some of the most popular ones where they spend an entire series of like 10+ episodes discussing the intricate details of one case. Not that I dislike them, I've never tried, just isn't my usual forte.

kalesix3 · February 2023

I admire all of you with a stomach for crime, it blows my mind how you can listen/read/watch crime and murder media and not get crippling mental health issues from it.
I read one article about Lindsay Clancy and my mental health is awful, I'm having nightmares and so much anxiety now, I don't know how you do it but I admire you!

Re boobs I thought maybe mine wouldn't grow more because come on how much more can I reasonably take but all but one of my brand new bras is painfully too small, joke's on me for splurging last fall on a bunch of nice non nursing bras only to outgrow them a few months later 😵‍💫 it's probably largely from swelling because they don't seem bigger, just more full if that makes sense? I'm not sure if I should buy more bras or just limp along with 1 for the next 17 weeks till I wear nursing bras.
I'm probably in the minority but I really prefer dark aeriolas over my normal. Is anyone else leaking colostrum?

thescarletmom · February 2023

@kalesix3 anything to do with kids is off the table for me. I heard about Lindsay Clancy yesterday and sobbed at work for nearly half an hour 🥺 didn't even finish the article. I've always been this way/had this interest, but I have strong boundaries around what stories I simply can't listen to. But a big part of why I engage with true crime is because I think people's stories are so important and deserve to be heard, even when they're awful. They deserve to have someone grieve for them, who hears their name and about their life after it was taken. It's not something everyone can do AND protect their heart at the same time and I respect that. My husband can't handle it either.

Re: nipples. I don't mind the color change per se, but I do mind the fact that it feels like my areolas take up the entirety of the front-facing part of my boobs 😂 I haven't noticed that I'm leaking yet, but won't be surprised if I start soon. I'll wait patiently for it though, one of my very least favorite pregnancy/pp things is leaky breasts.

francesgs · February 2023

@kalesix3 I have had a couple drops here and there.. it’s usually after I’ve had pressure on my boobs while laying down or something. Just started noticing it this week.

hitcj4687 · February 2023

@kalesix3 I think it stems from my mom being infatuated my whole life and just watching CSI with her and being intrigued by everything murder mystery. But then it turned into true crime that peaked my interest because I just want to understand what makes people tick. Children's cases really do bother me and I often cry through the episodes, but in some way it feels like I'm honoring them to listen and keep their names and memory alive. I can completely respect and understand why it isn't for everyone.

I also bought nursing bras this week and am already wearing them because they're large enough and cozy enough to wear through the rest of this pregnancy and will work for my nursing days coming up too! I have no shame in wearing them prematurely lmfao.

@thescarletmom I'm in the same boat, by nipples I did mean areolas lmao. I should have specified there. Mine are darker naturally, but pregnant/nursing they're soooo dark! No leaking yet!

kalesix3 · February 2023

@hitcj4687 I have an abnormal psych textbook one of my friends gave me after she graduated because I was fascinated, although for me I'm more interested in how most of not all serial killers have significant birth trauma that we know of and I've always been down the rabbithole of how birth trauma is remembered in our bodies for all time, plus both my parents are severely mentally ill and I've always tried to understand more of how they became the way they are but I can't do the crimes themselves, I can't sleep at night, I'm such a wimp. I think because my childhood was such a nightmare my brain is just like nope that's enough for one lifetime, we've reached terminal capacity lol.
Children and babies dying in accidents or from health issues hurts too but I do wave of light every year and honor their names in my loss community and that's always been something I could handle but crimes themselves I'm just not able to stomach without crippling anxiety.
Re nursing bras if they didn't stick out of my square neckline dresses I'd already be in them too, they're so comfortable 😍

@francesgs I had some the beginning of my pregnancy and then it went away but it's back again. 😵‍💫 I haven't leaked into the bed yet though, that's my least favorite thing!

@thescarletmom I feel that so hard and I think you're spot on! You're right though I just don't have the stomach for it. I desperately want to watch that show about the flds with Andrew Garfield, under the banner of heaven maybe?but I got as far as the first episode before I could feel my mental health in a downward spiral because it hit so close to home with my background.

sunny_native14 · February 2023

Estimated Due Date / Weeks + Days: 22 weeks! June 8th

FTM/STM/STM+: third

Team Boy/Girl/Surprise: boy

Interesting baby fact / Baby is the size of: a coconut 🥥

Upcoming appointments: 2 weeks until next prenatal

How are you feeling: Pretty good. I can literally feel my belly growing every week - I don't even mind the stretch marks, I just tell myself my body is doing some amazing stuff right now lol

Rants / Raves:
Rant- Being sick (cold/flu) and pregnant is my life. Neverending.

Rave- Received the ultrasound report from my anatomy scan and everything looks great! I'm SO relieved. It feels like the last major hurtle to jump with my anxiety and now I'm just trying to really connect with this little boy.

Questions:

GTKY: if you could have dinner with one celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose?
Hmm. Maybe Robin Williams.

thescarletmom · February 2023

Just went to my midwife appointment and she gave me the final report from my anatomy scan. Got some bad news that I don't feel ready to talk about yet but am really overwhelmed and upset by. The baby is fine and healthy, it's purely a complication with me. If I step away from here for a bit, we're okay, I'm just processing 🩶

pttomato · February 2023

@thescarletmom I’m sorry, dealing with the news of complications is tough, I definitely understand the need to step away some times.

hitcj4687 · February 2023

@thescarletmom please know we're here if and when you're ready to talk. Sending you internet hugs ❤

bridgettetheboxer · February 2023

@thescarletmom I’m so sorry, take all the time you need! Just know you’ve got support here when you’re ready❤️ hugs!!

sunny_native14 · February 2023

@thescarletmom I'm so sorry- we're here for you if and when you want to talk. ❤️

peyts228 · February 2023

@thescarletmom feel your feelings and take your time. We're here for you.

pttomato · February 2023

Cerclage went well, my cervix was closed back up to 3cm! after they placed it. I’m still a little sore but it’s getting better and feel a lot more confident.

francesgs · February 2023

@thescarletmom We will be here when you are ready. Take all the time you need to process.

@pttomato Great to hear! Hope you’re back to feeling good soon!

thescarletmom · February 2023

Thank you, everyone 🩶 I feel a little better now, though am still very anxious. This is sooo long, please forgive me. My sister is a former L&D nurse who is the queen of catastrophizing everything, always worst case scenario, so i can't talk to anyone in my family for risk of her hearing and telling me every bad thing that could happen. So I really only have this community to vent to.

The gist of the issue is that I have a veeery low-lying placenta that's in a bad spot. Baby is also transverse, and my midwife said this is likely because thats the comfiest spot for baby to lay in with the positioning of my placenta. She walked me through what our next steps are for monitoring the situation. She's sending me for another ultrasound at 28 weeks (this feels like eternity to wait) where they'll check and see if my placenta moves as my uterus grows. She explained that she's all but 100% certain that it will resolve itself by that point and won't be an issue, the distance it has to move is so small, etc. but gave me a rundown of what will happen if it's still not a good distance from my cervix. Mostly a ton of follow up ultrasounds with the risk of a c-section hospital birth if there isn't any improvement.

The real kicker is that I misunderstood her as she was explaining things. I knew she said I did NOT have placenta previa (she was very specific about this and said we'd be having a different conversation entirely if I did) but I thought she was saying my placenta was partially covering my cervix by 2cm, not that it was less than 2cm away from my cervix. I made the mistake of googling things and of course find that even a partial covering is still placenta previa, and felt very confused and anxious. Especially when I start seeing everywhere that placenta previa is very risky, even with no bleeding, and that the majority of OBs schedule you for a c-section between 36-37 weeks if you are diagnosed with placenta previa as late in pregnancy as 20 weeks. I texted my midwife in a panic at like 9:30 last night and she gentled corrected my misunderstanding and explained that things are not that serious right now, and are unlikely to become that serious.

I know that this probably all sounds pretty minor, small potatoes in comparison to what it could be, but it was a gut punch in the moment. My husband couldn't go to my appointment with me like he usually does because he's been sick and we didn't want to spread germs. So I was sitting there, alone, with the news that something was wrong and in a way that I totally wasn't prepared for and didn't expect. Last week all I wanted to hear was that my baby was alive and healthy. And then suddenly it's oh baby's fine, it's just your body that's having issues. I've never had complications in a pregnancy outside of miscarriage and some late first trimester bleeding with DS2 (that was ultimately normal), and I just felt so utterly betrayed by my body. And as she's trying to explain what next steps look like and possibly outcomes, it's shock after shock. As a SA survivor, I've refused all transvaginal ultrasounds in my pregnancies because I can't handle them, but they're the best way to get the measurements they need, etc. I can refuse, but I risk getting inaccurate measurements. And if it doesn't resolve, I have no options except a scheduled c-section in the hospital. I still have PTSD nightmares about my birth trauma from DS1 and he's almost 7. When I was newly postpartum, the PTSD was so bad I was suicidal for a long time. I know c-sections save lives for many, but having someone tell me that everything I want for my birth is potentially going to be pulled out from under me, and all the steps I would want to take to try and prevent being re-traumatized in the hospital won't be options... I felt like I was being suffocated. And there's nothing I can do, no steps I can take to make it move. It either will or won't. And I have to wait ~2 months to know anything. I felt so many different things yesterday, anxiety, terror, anger, defeat, regret, guilt. They all overshadowed that baby is healthy and that makes me feel terrible, and emotionally exhausted.

hitcj4687 · February 2023

@thescarletmom first of all, I'm so glad you shared this with us and I hope we can help be a part of your support system here while your navigate this. Hearing anything besides, "everything is perfect" is scary no matter what. I'm glad that things aren't exactly what you thought and that hopefully the problem resolves itself soon. I can only imagine waiting on your next ultrasound is going to be so stressful. In the meantime, know that you are doing everything on your end to keep baby and yourself safe. I can't imagine how it must feel to weigh all your options right now and feel overwhelmed. Take things day by day ❤

thescarletmom · February 2023

@hitcj4687 thank you 🥺 I walked out of her office and just got in the car and called my husband to cry. It feels so hard to feel so out of control, especially with something as dear to you as your baby and pregnancy. I've been trying to go the "control the things I can" route today to help with it. She told me I have restrictions effective immediately to prevent bleeding risk, because that's the biggest concern right now, any bleeding or spotting would be a big issue. So pelvic rest and no 'strenuous' activity (which always feels so vague, but she didn't tell me not to pick up my toddler?) feel like steps I can take. And being consistent with upping my water intake and getting my prenatals, etc., just generally being more religious about those "good health" practices.

sunny_native14 · February 2023

@thescarletmom, we're definitely all here holding space for you while you navigate through this situation. That's so much to process. I'm so glad you're sweet baby is healthy and I hope you can find the small steps that help feel like you are supporting your body the best you can. And when it all feels too much- just know we're here for you to talk through/vent whatever is on your mind 💕

pttomato · February 2023

@thescarletmom I’m sorry. It’s so hard to feel like your body is failing you and you can’t control it.

Try not to feel guilty for feeling whatever you feel. IME it’s better to let myself feel angry or sad or whatever so I can process and work through it, but it’s tough sometimes if you have people around you trying to make you feel better with things like “the important thing is the baby is healthy.” At least for me, I was grateful the baby was healthy, but that didn’t take away all the other feelings and I had people making me feel guilty for caring about those other things which made it harder for me to work through all those feelings.

FWIW all the people I know who had a low-lying placenta that wasn’t actually covering their cervix mid-pregnancy ended up having it move up.

peyts228 · February 2023

@thescarletmom I'm so sorry. Your feelings are valid and you are allowed to feel them. One of the hardest things about pregnancy is the knowledge of outcomes we can't control- it's scary!

Your news is yours and I want to keep you as the center, but if it helps: I also have to have a scheduled C-section because of a traumatic first birth that left me unable to deliver vaginally again. A C-section is not what I would have chosen, so I understand and hear your feelings. I've known my situation since TTC for #2, so I have had longer to process. If you need a C-section (and I hope you won't), you will have a C-section buddy in me! ♥️

I hope your placenta moves up! My SIL is due in March, and her placenta was low at 20 weeks. It's moved up now and she expects a vaginal birth!

thescarletmom · February 2023

@pttomato I told my husband last night that the next time we see family (both sides) we'll have to tell them that we've got some concerns and for the time being I'm not in a place to answer questions or do general small talk about the pregnancy until/if they're resolved. I'm just too stressed about it and I'm definitely afraid of the well meaning but unhelpful "all that matters is a healthy baby" stuff. I've already made myself feel guilty about it, even though I'm important in this equation too, and I know any other feedback will make it worse. Especially because my MIL has talked about how she loved having a c-section because her recovery "wasn't bad at all" and I don't want to deal.

My midwife definitely stressed that she believes it will resolve itself without issue, and that we have time, etc. but it's that "what if it doesn't" in the back of my head that's eating me.

thescarletmom · February 2023

@peyts228 thank you! It helps to hear that I'm not overdramatic for being hurt and upset that this potentially won't be the birth experience that I want. I feel like women are shamed a lot for caring about what their delivery looks like and I didn't think anyone here would do that, but it's such a loud message sometimes it can drown out other things. I had a traumatic birth with DS1, then DS2's actual birth was wonderful... but he was born in March 2020, I lost my job and my childcare for DS1 when he was like a week old, etc. and so my pp was a traumatic experience with him. I had put so much emotion behind getting a "redemptive" birth this time and I think that's at the core of all the hurt I feel. And I'm sorry that this birth isn't your ideal either, I hope that it can still be healing for you with time to prepare and plan for things the best you can 🩶

sunny_native14 · February 2023

@thescarletmom totally didn't mean it to be dismissive or invalidating mentioning the healthy baby part. Apologies if that's how it landed ❤️

pttomato · February 2023

@sunny_native14 I hope you didn’t think my comment was directed at you. I was thinking of the people I dealt with IRL when I was dealing with preterm labor and hospital bedrest my last pregnancy.

thescarletmom · February 2023

@sunny_native14 oh no! Not even a little bit! I'm afraid of the "all that matters is a healthy baby and therefore you shouldn't be upset because you have that" mentality. I didn't feel that way from your comment at all 🩶 I am so happy that baby is healthy and safe and that's not a concern we have to juggle on top of all this. There are some potential concerns for bleeding or rupture that would be dangerous for baby without prompt attention, but it is super unlikely and for the time being baby is hanging out happily and growing perfectly, and that is definitely comforting to me!

mommasay04 · February 2023

Estimated Due Date / Weeks + Days:
21w 1 day

FTM/STM/STM+:
baby #5

Team Boy/Girl/Surprise:
Boy

Interesting baby fact / Baby is the size of:

Size of an endive….whatever that is.

Upcoming appointments:

Next appointment on Feb. 17

How are you feeling:

Feeling pretty good, mostly tired and frequent headaches

Rants / Raves:

I feel like this pregnancy is taking FOREVER….I’m trying to enjoy it, bc I know this is for sure my last baby. But the headache and lack of energy really sucks.

Questions:
No questions right now.

GTKY: if you could have dinner with one celebrity or historical figure, who would you choose?

that’s a tough one. I have a weird infatuation with the JFK assassination, but I think I would rather sit down with lee Harvey Oswald or Jack Ruby, so I can learn what really happened lol.

thoseboysmama · February 2023

@thescarletmom I had similar news with my second. My OB was even hesitant to tell me as it generally moves. After researching I just took it really easy just incase as what I had researched it would possibly lead to bed rest and could be bad for baby and mama. She kept telling me it isn't placenta prevea, but could become it if it doesn't correct itself, which it will. What a Mindf**k. But she was right.

If it makes you feel any better, mine did move by the next US and it was a LIFETIME of waiting, or so it felt. I am hopeful yours will move too. My OB who I loved but retired told me she doesn't even want to tell moms as they worry most the time unnecessarily, which is never good when pregnant, but hard not to. The placenta sure does have a mind of its own. I'll be thinking of you as I remember how unnerving that wait was.

And your feelings of not getting the birth you want or imagine are completely valid. We all have how we want it to go in our heads and we all know deep down what happens will happen. It does not change the longing of what you want. And there is nothing wrong or selfish about those feelings. My last baby came July of 2020 so I totally align with how you feel about this time around. What a Rollercoaster that was. We live in the boonies and are self employed, but still an insane ride it was. We just played outside ALL the time. That helped for sure. 🙏 you're in my thoughts.

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