@trubaby411 thanks! I was really excited for this announcement. I was slightly concerned it would be insensitive because I know others are struggling with fertility and the binary gender issue, but I decided not to let that ruin my joy. The response so far has been positive. I'm glad others can be happy for us despite thier own struggles. There is so much negativity in the world, I just wanted to share something fun and exciting.
@scaredunprepared definitely understand wanting to be sensitive. I have a few friends who have struggled and still struggle with fertility, I think if you try to hide things from them to consider their feelings it just feels like exclusion.
Life happens, fertility might not be your struggle but everyone struggles with something! You can be there for them and support them in many ways while also celebrating your growing family.
DS born 2/18/2019 DD born 4/1/2023 Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
Speaking as someone who's struggled with infertility & loss, and have been subjected to (sometimes gauche) announcements from friends and acquaintances: if you have _close_ friends you know are struggling it's a good idea to mention to them privately before doing a post. I always found it a bit less difficult to process the announcements I knew were coming.
AFM, I actually chose not to post on SM before birth I want there to only be 1 announcement about our child: the birth announcement. After that, I'm borrowing from another friend's playbook and starting a private group for anyone who wants to keep track of our baby's progress. I've had to actively unfollow some friends who only post about their kids on their Facebook because it's a lot to take in when you're going through treatment or have just experienced a miscarriage.
But, "you do you" as the saying goes . There are mechanisms to deal with content one does not want to see on Facebook, and for that I am grateful.
TTC History TTC#2
Me: 41; MH: 40 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020 Mar 2024 | consult to get established with a new reproductive immunologist (Alan Beer Center) Apr/May 2024 | required testing & waiting for a protocol May 2024 | protocol given / decided to go back to my old reproductive immunologist, Dr. Jubiz Jun / Jul 2024 | more testing, incl. SIS, ultrasound, and endometrial biopsy Jul 2024 | Dx chronic endometritis; 14 days of 100mg of doxy given Sep 2024 | Repeat endometrial biopsy; still + for chronic endometritis. 2 more antibiotics + an antiviral Oct 2024 | Hysteroscopy turned polypectomy; endometriosis consult w/ specialist who confirmed high likelihood of endo based on symptoms and ultrasound; lots of blood tests ordered Mar 2025 | Endo excision surgery. Stage 3 endo found! Recoveing Apr 2025 | Planning transfer w/ RE & green light protocol w/ RI; target transfer July or August 2025 May 2025 | Surprise BFP! EDD 1/11/2026
TTC #1
Me: 36, MH: 34 | Met 02/2009 | Started Dating 08/2017 | Married 02/02/2020 TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022 2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis 07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis 07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment 07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS 08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA 09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN 09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required 10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN 10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic 11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN 11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN 12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN 01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN 02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing 03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️ 04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN 04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance 05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF 05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH. 06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded 07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid 08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d 09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid 11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation 12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN 01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN 02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity 03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022 05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering... 06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022 07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023
I echo your sentiment @acleverusername. We struggled with infertility, as well, and I have been blindsided by announcements. So much so that it can still trigger me. I have always really appreciated the people who have sent me a private text to say "I know this is hard news to receive, but I wanted to let you know it's coming". It really has made the blow just a little less painful. If nothing else, a TW on the post at least has allowed me to look if I'm feeling up for it, or not if I'm not. I agree that being left out because someone is trying to protect my feelings doesn't feel good either. And I get wanting to also be able to share your joy with other people too. There's a delicate balance somewhere in there between trying to manage people feelings and blindsiding with information that can be painful. I am forever grateful to the ones who have been able to show me compassion and thoughtfulness over the last couple of years.
@acleverusername and @trubaby411 thank you both for the feedback! I did tell people closer to me before posting on SM, so hopefully the blow was less sharp for those struggling.
Re: ~*Announcing your Pregnancy*~
DD born 4/1/2023
Baby #3 EDD 11/21/2024
AFM, I actually chose not to post on SM before birth I want there to only be 1 announcement about our child: the birth announcement. After that, I'm borrowing from another friend's playbook and starting a private group for anyone who wants to keep track of our baby's progress. I've had to actively unfollow some friends who only post about their kids on their Facebook because it's a lot to take in when you're going through treatment or have just experienced a miscarriage.
But, "you do you" as the saying goes
TTC History
TTC#2
Mar 2024 | consult to get established with a new reproductive immunologist (Alan Beer Center)
Apr/May 2024 | required testing & waiting for a protocol
May 2024 | protocol given / decided to go back to my old reproductive immunologist, Dr. Jubiz
Jun / Jul 2024 | more testing, incl. SIS, ultrasound, and endometrial biopsy
Jul 2024 | Dx chronic endometritis; 14 days of 100mg of doxy given
Sep 2024 | Repeat endometrial biopsy; still + for chronic endometritis. 2 more antibiotics + an antiviral
Oct 2024 | Hysteroscopy turned polypectomy; endometriosis consult w/ specialist who confirmed high likelihood of endo based on symptoms and ultrasound; lots of blood tests ordered
Mar 2025 | Endo excision surgery. Stage 3 endo found! Recoveing
Apr 2025 | Planning transfer w/ RE & green light protocol w/ RI; target transfer July or August 2025
May 2025 | Surprise BFP! EDD 1/11/2026
TTC #1
TTC #1 02/2020 - 07/2022
2009 | Dx PCOS; likely a misdiagnosis
07/14/20 | Dx Hashimoto's Thyroditis
07/21/20 | 1st RE appointment
07/2120 - 08/20/20 | so much testing; no signs of PCOS
08/20/20 | Dx Unexplained; AMA
09/08/20 | IUI #1 Clomid + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
09/30/20 | Urology consult; more testing required
10/2020 | Clomid + OPK + TI + Prometrium | BFN
10/26/2020 | Starting 2nd IUI cycle, with Letrazole and with a new RE / different clinic
11/03/2020 | New Dx "poor egg quality"; IUI cancelled in favor of Trigger + TI + Prometrium | BFN
11/26/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Menopur) + Trigger + Prometrium | BFN
12/20/2020 | Combo IUI (Clomid + Gonal-F) + Trigger | IUI Cancelled due to thin lining; TI only | BFN
01/14/2021 | Combo IUI (Letrazole + Menopur) + Trigger | BFN
02/06/2021 | Switched to a new RE (TEW) ; trying naturally until we complete additional testing
03/14/2021 | Hybrid Double IUI, with Zymot (Letrazole, Gonal-F) + Trigger + Endometrin | Ovulated 4 mature eggs but still a BFN ☹️
04/07/2021 | Natural cycle while we regroup | BFN
04/09/2021 | Employer announces fertility benefits starting 05/01/2021! | Search for a new doctor who accepts insurance
05/10/2021 | New RE consult & plan for IVF
05/13/2021 | Mid-luteal IVF cycle #1 interrupted; had to get cancer genetic screening done to make sure I didn't have the same SDHA gene mutation as MH.
06/10/2021 | Aygestin priming IVF cycle #1; opted to Cx after 9 days of stims since only 5-6/12 follicles responded
07/26/2021 | Attempt #2 at IVF cycle #1 (mid-luteal start): 8 retrieved, 8 MII, 6 fert (1 PN3), 3 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 3AA, 3AA, 6AB; 3 euploid
08/09/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC | Shockingly, a BFP! EDD: 5/25/202 | CP at 4w4d
09/23/2021 | IVF cycle #2 (mid-luteal start): 14 retrieved, 13 MII, 11 fert, 5 Day 5 & 6 blasts: 2 x 3AA, 2 x 3AB, 3BB; 2 euploid
11/12/2021 | IVF cycle #3 (mid-luteal start): cancelled due to ovaries being on vacation
12/20/2021 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + Pregmune Immunology Testing; BFN
01/22/2022 | Rest cycle / unmedicated TTC + understanding uncovered immunological issues; BFN
02/18/2022 | Mock transfer cycle! ERA, ReceptivaDx, EMMA/ALICE; start Prednisone to address NK activity
03/16/2022 | Final, "Hail Mary" super-ovulation + TI cycle before FET; BFP! EDD: 12/21/2022 | MMC 05/08/2022
05/20/2022 | D&C; recovering...
06/21/2022 | Trying naturally until October 2022
07/21/2022 | BFP! EDD 04/02/2023; 👦🏼 born on 4/5/2023
@v_flowers thank you 😊
While we still have tons more photos from our Disney vacation to share, we couldn’t wait to show this extra special one!
We are excited to share that baby #3 will be joining us in the Spring! Big sisters (name & name) are thrilled!