This has been A WEEK. My 8YO came home sick from school on Tuesday, we spent a good hour and a half at the clinic yesterday testing for covid, influenza and strep throat (negative for all) and he still has a fever with sore throat, cough, congestion. I feel so bad for the guy and the boys were supposed to visit my mom for the weekend. 8YO is angry that he can't go to Nana's house and she's guilt tripping me that every time we plan for them to visit one of the boys seems to get sick. We have to be very cautious with illnesses around her since her and my step dad are primary care adults at my grandparents' nursing home. Add that to some work BS and I'm just ready to slide into my pregnant lady stretchy pants for the weekend.
Also, I was super behind on all the threads this morning. My bump app won't even highlight the threads with new comments or the ones I've participated in so I was sad yesterday to not be bumpin' with y'all. I wonder if they "updated" the app to be even crappier?
@mnmomma84 yeah, this is why I use the computer rather than the app whenever I can, and why long-term I prefer moving to FB. The only way I've been able to fix that problem in the past is to log out and log back in.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@mnmomma84 I was having that issue yesterday. I shut my phone off last night and turned it back on this morning and it worked today. Last night I used the website through my phone to get updates. It was a pain. I'm glad the shut down over night helped.
The talk of inclusive Catholic and UU families, schools, and communities makes me so happy! Thank you all for being so thoughtful about your childraising. I try really hard to stay out of other folks' religious beliefs, but my husband and I also have very close ties to the LGBTQ+ community and I love hearing about families who find routes toward inclusive religion.
My husband and I are Jewish(ish), but not especially religious. We had one mildly awkward conversation about circumcision, but it wasn't too hard for us to get onto the same page - and it won't matter for this pregnancy, anyway.
@mnmomma84 what a week! So sorry to hear about all of this. Good luck with all the family dynamics and sniffly kiddo. As for theBump, I think the whole site hiccuped hard recently - I use the computer, but I also had issues for a bit with threads not highlighting. It seems to have fixed itself for me...I hope it has for you, too!
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
@mnmomma84 one day earlier this week I couldn't reply. It was like I was a newbie where you can only read but not reply. So weird. I tried the desktop version but it was the same. The next day everything was normal. Most often when I first log in previous threads are not highlighted but if I refresh the page then it returns to normal.
Agreed - yay for inclusivity and open-mindedness when it comes to religion! I have two close friends who grew up in very strict Catholic households. When they came out to their parents (as young adults), it was....well, a total shitshow. The emotional abuse was horrific. Being told "you're going to hell" and "I wish you were never born" is damaging enough to hear as an adult - imagine the impact that would have on a child. I've always been quite progressive, but witnessing that really shaped me. It's why things like the Don't Say Gay bill really worry me.....
@bigworldlittleg I graduated from high school with Joe Ladapo, the super right wing Florida surgeon general who is supporting all of DeSantos's ridiculously plague-spreading COVID policies. Our entire graduating class is trying to disown him lol.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
Me: *has no work, texts husband* Ok I’m going to sleep because I had terrible sleep last night. Husband, after like two hours: *wakes me up* What’s up? I haven’t heard from you.
Today, he’s helping a friend with his car, told me I’d get updates. Five hours in I got the first actual update after being told, four hours in, that he was too busy for a sitrep (situation report).
Like okay? I was promised updates? You freak out when I say I’m gonna nap and I commit to my nap and didn’t promise any updates, but in five hours I got three texts, one that Friend forgot some tools, one that you were busy, and just now that you’re cleaning up and headed home… I’m writing here because it’s 10pm and the only reason I’m even fkn awake is that I got no updates so I couldn’t go to sleep, and I don’t want to hold on to how pissed I am.
did you specify how often you wanted updates though? it sounds like he did give you some updates, so maybe ya'll had a miscommunication about what frequency "updates" entails?
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
TL;DR version: It ended up all making sense and I knew it would, but I really needed to get that out of my system to make it easier to digest that the feelings were near-all hormone-induced.
Long version with background info:
Updates would have been like “finished driver side rear suspension upgrade.” Thankfully, we have a LONG history and routine for what constitutes regular updates pretty much regardless of the topic or activity - usually every 60-90 minutes with basic detail of what’s going on. It was necessary when he was a ranger and worked around rattlesnakes and black widows literally all the time as well as when we were on different continents for extended periods of time, and also… it helps keep me on track when I do work around the house/have work days at work AND we both enjoy the communication of productivity.
Also, we are both mechanics, although my knowledge is nowhere as deep as his because, as I learned in the automotive tech program in high school, I’m actually not that interested in cars AND the Swedish economy took a hit right when I graduated, so it was impossible to get a job unless you were really excellent and interested… which ended up being Not Me. Most of my current knowledge is a mix of what I have retained from high school and what I’ve learned working with him on all of our vehicles (a number of cars over the years, dually truck, quads recently sold bc we got a dog, sand rail in progress, we used to have a jet boat). I understand most of what goes on in a car/general vehicle, so he knows I want “sufficient detail” and that I know the approximate steps of what they’re doing.
He did explain that his hands were exceedingly filthy the whole time and apparently he forgot that all three dudes present (himself, Friend, and Landlord Friend - it’s another story) all have my number and the other two could’ve texted me too if he’d asked them to give me a quick update, AND sadly the timbre of his voice is really terrible for using Siri and voice texting. Excellent timbre for voice, terrible for Siri. Also, what they worked on was genuinely dangerous and doing springs yourself is (this is all my opinion) really dang stupid unless you have professional equipment and not just a bunch of ratchet straps.
I don’t know if my long, overly detailed responses are more habitual Viking-style storytelling, ADHD, or both.
Came home yesterday after my husband had the day off to a filthy house. My lovely mother came over and helped me clean while he was picking up his daughter (2.5 hr round trip). What did he do all day?! I wouldn’t complain if it was his “weekend” but he has 4 days off this week, and I worked 50 hours 😩
Going off what you said @laj0217 my husband left with the kids and gave me things to do. Bring the donation stuff to the thrift store, and refill his child water bottles in the fridge.... I snapped and told him I never leave him things to do and he does nothing when I take the kids for the whole day or even a few hours, so... I'm sitting my ass on the couch watching Bridgerton.
Let's not even get started as to how little the boy person does on his own and how much he bitches about the few things I do ask him to do.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
it's complicated. we're not in a relationship. that is why i call him boy person rather than boyfriend or husband. however, he has his uses. boy person is currently in the kitchen making pork and squash.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
Going off what you said @laj0217 my husband left with the kids and gave me things to do. Bring the donation stuff to the thrift store, and refill his child water bottles in the fridge.... I snapped and told him I never leave him things to do and he does nothing when I take the kids for the whole day or even a few hours, so... I'm sitting my ass on the couch watching Bridgerton.
My husband is still helping with the blasted suspension. I wanted to binge the new season of Bridgerton with him. I’m glad someone is watching it.
I AM SO BITTER RIGHT NOW THAT 1/3 OF SPRING BREAK HAS GONE TO THAT CAR EVEN IF I AM HAPPY THAT WE CAN HELP AND THAT MY HUSBAND IS A GREAT HUMAN BEING.
My husband is usually great. Cleaning is just not where he shines lol. And yesterday I can fully recognize I was crazy raging pregnancy hormones. It was a rough day at work, I missed lunch, and got chewed out by a parent right before leaving school. So, when I came home I was already pretty stressed. Much calmer today thank goodness!
We really, really don't want to turn on the air conditioning yet. But it's 82 degrees in the house right now. Bah.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
As is well known, women take care of the large majority of household work and household management. And we do it all without anyone asking us to! This is an article that I read a few years ago, and I was like AMEN. It speaks to the frustration around this gender divide and the emotional labor that women take on at home. Highly recommend reading it:
They’re still working on the suspension. At least they’re assembling the front (the rear got done yesterday). I’ve been feeling too frustrated and bitter to even enjoy the StarCraft Remastered hubbs got me. I’ll try to play some after walking doggo. I’m sure I’ll feel better if I just turn it on and focus on how loved I am.
I really hope assembly doesn’t take too long. I miss hubbs. Yesterday after he finally got home (like 10:15pm), we watched Dinotrux in bed and he stroked my back. It was really nice.
@bigworldlittleg my husband is the tidy person here. Not a clean freak, but hates all clutter and loses it if there are toys in his view most days. But I definitely carry the mental load even on dumb things, like yesterday he calls and says so we need anything at bjs because he's driving by one. Why do we have to keep a mental list of what we need in the house?
@jhysmath I wish my husband were that tidy!! Although he has gotten better thanks to my nudges over the years lol. But yes, being the one to keep the mental lists is a good example. We can only keep so much in these pregnant brains of ours! 😂
I unloaded the dishwasher today and put the pitcher in the pantry with the canned goods. Took me forever to find it when i needed it an hour later 🤦🏻♀️ Definitely need the husband to help with the chores now that pregnancy brain is a thing lol
They finished the Jeep at midnight yesterday. I told hubbs we’re done working for free even for friends. $30/hour and if you’re late without a REALLY good reason, you pay for the time you were late. I’m done being a nice person and sacrificing our time with nothing to show for it, we have our own needs to take care of.
@foreveronyourside I’m attaching my favorite pangolin photos 💕 they’re so cool and very adorable!
Re: Bitch Fest 3/21
Also, I was super behind on all the threads this morning. My bump app won't even highlight the threads with new comments or the ones I've participated in so I was sad yesterday to not be bumpin' with y'all. I wonder if they "updated" the app to be even crappier?
yeah, this is why I use the computer rather than the app whenever I can, and why long-term I prefer moving to FB. The only way I've been able to fix that problem in the past is to log out and log back in.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
I graduated from high school with Joe Ladapo, the super right wing Florida surgeon general who is supporting all of DeSantos's ridiculously plague-spreading COVID policies. Our entire graduating class is trying to disown him lol.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Husband, after like two hours: *wakes me up* What’s up? I haven’t heard from you.
Today, he’s helping a friend with his car, told me I’d get updates. Five hours in I got the first actual update after being told, four hours in, that he was too busy for a sitrep (situation report).
Like okay? I was promised updates? You freak out when I say I’m gonna nap and I commit to my nap and didn’t promise any updates, but in five hours I got three texts, one that Friend forgot some tools, one that you were busy, and just now that you’re cleaning up and headed home… I’m writing here because it’s 10pm and the only reason I’m even fkn awake is that I got no updates so I couldn’t go to sleep, and I don’t want to hold on to how pissed I am.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Long version with background info:
Also, we are both mechanics, although my knowledge is nowhere as deep as his because, as I learned in the automotive tech program in high school, I’m actually not that interested in cars AND the Swedish economy took a hit right when I graduated, so it was impossible to get a job unless you were really excellent and interested… which ended up being Not Me. Most of my current knowledge is a mix of what I have retained from high school and what I’ve learned working with him on all of our vehicles (a number of cars over the years, dually truck, quads recently sold bc we got a dog, sand rail in progress, we used to have a jet boat).
I understand most of what goes on in a car/general vehicle, so he knows I want “sufficient detail” and that I know the approximate steps of what they’re doing.
I don’t know if my long, overly detailed responses are more habitual Viking-style storytelling, ADHD, or both.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/
I really hope assembly doesn’t take too long. I miss hubbs. Yesterday after he finally got home (like 10:15pm), we watched Dinotrux in bed and he stroked my back. It was really nice.
@foreveronyourside I’m attaching my favorite pangolin photos 💕 they’re so cool and very adorable!