@sarah_k_0610 my eyes were so dry in the first 10 weeks that I regularly wore my glasses, too. Now they’ve been slightly improving but definitely not back to normal. I’ve never had this symptom before with either of my other two kids!
@juneyh Welcome to the board. Please stop by the introductions thread and introduce yourself.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@sarah_k_0610 Pregnancy can definitely affect your eyes. I didn't have any issues with my daughter and could easily go without my glasses around the house, but now I need my glasses fairly regularly. My vision isn't awful, but just bad enough that I need glasses to drive. I can't do contacts because of super flat corneas, but my eyes have also been more dry than usual.
True. I read this one before I read the one off, so it got my standard response lol. But I think either you're right or she likely is in the wrong board.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@sarah_k_0610 My eyes are definitely feeling it. I assumed it was from screen time during the work day and cut out any extra phone or tv time after work, but it hasn't gone away. I'm going to try the google now and see if it's a thing.
@sarah_k_0610 yes! My contacts have been so dry lately. I’m constantly blinking. Especially when I’m walking it’s like the breeze from my walk makes my eyes SO dry so I look like a moron as I walk and blink/squint trying to keep my contacts wet lol. I use contact rewetting drops and just have been using it way more frequently lately which does help temporarily so I just always keep it close by.
I couldn't find the "ask a stm" thread anymore (maybe I didn't go back far enough?) But do any stms or anyone have a recommendation for lotion to possibly reduce stretch marks? I know a large portion is genetics, but I'd be curious to know if anyone felt like a particular product really helped. And if not for stretch marks, just a good overall moisturizer! My skin has been so dry, I'm applying lotion multiple times a day or I'm itchy at night.
@dvmmama I used Bio-Oil on my belly with my first once to twice per day and it felt really nice! Didn’t have stretch marks there but could also be genetic. I did get stretch marks on my butt cheeks (sorry if TMI) which was so random to me. They went away about 6 months after birth when I lost most of my water weight.
@dvmmama I didn't make a new one for March because people really weren't using it - most of those questions end up in either this thread, the symptoms thread, or the product spotlights, so it felt redundant.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@sarah_k_0610 My eyes have been a bit blurry lately also so I went to get my eyes checked last week. Turns out that my eyes have worsen slightly and I needed a new prescription. Prior to this check up, I had been at the same prescription level for over 15 years. The optometrist says it might or might not be related to the pregnancy and the best thing to do is to not open all of the new contact boxes (so that I may switch contacts if needed) in case my eyes change back postpartum.
Re. Stretch marks: I didn’t get them with my first pregnancy on my stomach but I did on my breasts when my milk came in. I didn’t use a particular lotion but did lotion my belly every day. (I like Vanicream).
I did get stretch marks on my belly with pregnancies #2 and #3. I didn’t use lotion during those as regularly but I think the more likely cause was baby #1 was 8 lbs and baby # 2 was 9 lbs 13 oz (#3 was 9.2).
@dvmmomma I always hated the smell of BioOil so I use the Burt's Bees Mama body oil with vitamin E. It smells like lemons and I much prefer it. I put that on at night and use Honest "rock the bump body butter" during the day
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@dvmmomma I haven't found any evidence that any cream, lotion, or oil will help reduce stretch marks. If your genetics say you'll get them (or if you got noticeable ones during pregnancy), you'll most likely get them, unfortunately. That said, skin being itchy is a real thing from all the stretching, and my best recommendation is to skip lotions and go right to a cream or an oil. They're richer and tend to soak into the skin much better.
Thank you to everyone who gave input on the eye situation! I’m a little less worried about it now knowing others have or are experiencing this. I hope you ladies find some relief. I may try some over the counter artificial tears to help on the really rough days
@dvmmomma I second the Burt’s Bees Mama body oil! I used it with my first pregnancy and I’m using it this time also. I love the lemon smell and I also use the belly butter which is unscented.
@wiseh oh! Sorry, I just gave you the same explanation twice because I'm a space case. And yeah, depressingly enough it sounds like your GP is better-educated on this stuff than my geneticist!
@chelseraec I have had a really short fuse lately! I'm usually pretty stead and hard to ruffle, so it's unusual for me to be shaking with rage over something minor, and that has happened at least twice in the last few days.
@sarah_k_0610 I have been having major eye issues and eyestrain headaches. I actually switched back to contacts during this pregnancy because I was getting headaches from the weight of my glasses on my face...but my contacts don't correct my vision as well, so now my head hurts because my eyes are working too hard. They're dry and itchy, too, which doesn't help. I did ask my optometrist about the allergy drops I used to take for dry eye, and she says I shouldn't take them while pregnant. So I have no good advice, but it's clear from this thread that we're in good company with weird eye issues!
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
@1stbabydue0912 I don't think it would be bad to throw your own if no one else has volunteered, but I'd ask your friends and family before deciding that. My MIL asked around 20 weeks if we wanted to have one and I told her we would see her during our vacation and she could plan a co-ed one for the week we were visiting, which was about 28 weeks. She said you sure you don't want it in April (another one of our breaks) and I told her no I wasn't traveling then as it would have been 8 months pregnant. She asked if we should just do a sip and see after the baby was born in the summer and I told her no I wanted it then so I had the stuff before baby was here and I don't like the whole sip and see thing, please don't have a large crowd passing around my newborn, pandemic or not.
My mom I told could throw one during April vacation when I would travel down and see her a month before the baby was born.
In my family it's "bad luck" to throw one too early so I went to the baby shower when I was 3 weeks old, as it was scheduled for the week my mom was due. My sister missed her baby shower for her daughter because she had her daughter the day before and was in the hospital still. We had hers planned for 2 weeks before her due date. I suggest having it sooner than later.
@1stbabydue0912 I am due about a week before you on 9/5. My sister in law has already asked if she can throw one for me locally - no date set yet - and my cousin has scheduled a date (6/11) to host one for my NY family. That date was picked sooner rather than later because my mom, husband, and I will need to buy plane tickets.
I bet someone will ask! It’s still early! I’d definitely wait a little longer and see if someone wants to host. I know both people who asked me waited until I found out the gender, so that could have something to do with it if you're finding out.
@jhysmath I’m with you! I can’t imagine doing a sip and see with covid 😳 I was adopted, so my moms shower for me was a sip and see, but they had 24 hours notice and there wasn’t a pandemic. Very different situations!
@1stbabydue0912 I organised both of my baby showers. I had 2 because we moved states so had one with friends in the state we moved from and another in the state we moved too. My husband came to both and it was more just a catch up with friends than a true baby shower.
@1stbabydue0912 I’m hoping to do a hybrid planning thing. I want to pick a date in June or July and throw a co-Ed “baby-q” (I know the name needs some work lol) in our yard, where we feed everyone burgers and beers (except beers for me)! I’ve had a couple people reach out to “plan it” and I’ll give them the list of people to invite, and food to help with… But I have no expectations for games or decorations or anything! This way we get exactly what we want as a couple, no one has to plan anything extravagant, but I still get to sit back and relax on the day of!
There are three of us pregnant at work right now. My secondary boss (not the mean one I've referenced in other posts) is planning on having a party some time in the next month or so and is going to call it "Donuts Before Due Dates." I her.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@kboydbowman when I had my first my husband's school had 3 dad's having babies. They had a little shower for them, I think it was just all the women wanting to do something. It was cute, but my husband hated having all that attention on him, and I forgot I had an iep meeting so I didn't go over so it was all on him and 1 dad already had a baby and the other wasn't due for a few months, so I was the next one to pop in a few weeks.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
1) Has anyone here ever worked with a doula or plan on having a doula with their current pregnancy? We have a FaceTime meet and greet tomorrow and was wondering what essential questions I should ask her.
2) How many guests are usually at a baby shower? We plan on having both men and women there, friends and family.
I have no comment on the doula because I have no experience there.
For showers, it just depends on whatever you or the host wants. With my first, I had a shower thrown by my mom of 50+ people because I have a huge family. But my MIL the one that had 10 people. Both were fun and nice and I was appreciative for all of it!
@serenity_by_van I haven't had a doula would really like to be able to afford one because I don't think my husband is the best labor support, he's great on the advocating side, but doesn't know what I need like I feel a doula would. Questions I would ask would be about their certification, I've read that anyone can call them selves a doula but not have any training. Ask about how many births they've been too, do they specialize in anything like robozo? When would they be available to you? If you were to have an extra long labor 24+ hours and they themselves needed to leave to rest, do they have a back up person to step in? (I just listened to a birth story where they had a tag team doula so after so many hours they could go get some rest)
As for baby shower I think it's totally up to the host and the budget. My family usually only invites women but we have a large family and easily have 30+ people at it. The one my MIL threw I wanted it to be more about my husband because it's his friends and cousins and they're all male, so we had it at a bar and did wings and pizza but we easily had 100 people there. Some I had never met before. I've gone to small 10ish people showers for friends too. I would say invite the people who are important to you, and can fit wherever you're hosting. Thankfully we will have nice weather and outdoors can hold many.
@serenity_by_van there no min or max as to how many people you have at your baby shower. I personally didn’t even want one with my first but my husband’s family insisted and we had about 15 women including close family and friends only. I felt uncomfortable inviting people that I’m not close to plus some of my closest friends live across the country so they weren’t able to make it and simply sent me presents off my registry by mail. So ya, totally up to you and how big your circle is 🤷🏻♀️
My husband also got a “dudes and diapers party” where it was a group of about 10 friends that got together for a BBQ and each of them brought a jumbo box of diapers in different sizes so that was fun for him and stocked us up on diapers for a bit lol
@serenity_by_van We hired our doula already! This was something I was super excited about and the first thing I researched when I found out I was pregnant because I have always known I wanted one. We were lucky to find a team of three, they take turns being on call so one of them is always rested and we have an opportunity to meet all of them prior to the birth.
Some questions I would ask are: If they are unavailable who is their back up? Will you get a chance to meet this person? At what point would they come to you? Do they have any special techniques or tools? (Ours are trained in massage and will be bringing hot stones they also have a kit with things like flameless candles, snacks, chargers) I would also ask if they do anything else besides doulaing, our doulas are actually photographers as well and do placenta encapsulation. Will they help you create a birth plan? How will they support this plan? Are they available before/ after you give birth? We can text our doulas 24/7 from the moment we hired them until about 3months postpartum to ask any questions or advice. Do they do any postpartum visits?
There are tons of questions you can ask! As someone who has only hired and asked many questions of their doula so far I am really happy with my decision. I think they are going to be able to a valuable member of my birth team and allow my husband and I more time to connect and enjoy the process together. It was so encouraging too that when I told my hospital midwife that we hired a doula she was equally as excited.
@serenity_by_van I am 1000% pro-doula! My midwife didn’t make it to my birth and my doula ended up catching my baby. She suggested positions to help labor progress, and she also provided some pain/comfort management in the form of acupressure, hot/cold compresses, and redirected me when I started to get overwhelmed. In the postpartum period she assisted with breastfeeding, provided help with healing/recovery, useful information, and a lit of emotional support. Not sure if you’re into placenta encapsulation, but she offers that, too. To this day she is one of my best friends, and I will be using her this time around. All of the questions mentioned above are great to ask. When I hire people I often go off vibes, as weird as it sounds. Birth is such a strange event, it’s important that you and your doula are on the same level. (I do not recommend hiring a midwife based on vibes. 😂)
I am so jealous!!! I think here you're only allowed one support person still.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@serenity_by_van No comment on the doula because I never had one.
Regarding the shower, do whatever feels best for you and the host. My husband had a dad-chelor party, which was basically the diaper party mentioned above. For him it was about 15 of his friends bringing diapers and diapering accessories (cream, wipes, etc.) and they played board games pretty much all day because that's what he likes to do. A lot of men are uncomfortable at traditional showers, so this was a good idea for them and it helped get us stocked on diaper stuff (we switched to cloth at 3 months). But I know some showers are definitely not traditional and geared toward both sexes.
@serenity_by_van we're planning to have a doula with us if possible, though it may depend on COVID rules in the end. We want someone who can be a liaison between us and the medical team, and someone who we will have with us for the entire time (relatively speaking) rather than only as long as their shift. I asked about her experience and tried to get a feel for how strongly opinionated she is about the "optimal" birth experience - I figured she and I either needed to be 100% on the same page, or I needed to be confident that she could be flexible along with us as things change during labor.
One of my best friends had a really scary labor experience, and she and her husband really felt like they were in a bind when she went in one direction and their baby went in another - neither wanted him to leave her side, but they didn't want the baby to be alone either. I really like the idea of having a doula who stays with me no matter what, which frees my husband up to be with the baby, run interference with family, and do whatever else makes sense under the circumstances.
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
Re: The Great Big Queston Thread!
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
Is it taboo to throw your own baby shower?
My mom I told could throw one during April vacation when I would travel down and see her a month before the baby was born.
In my family it's "bad luck" to throw one too early so I went to the baby shower when I was 3 weeks old, as it was scheduled for the week my mom was due. My sister missed her baby shower for her daughter because she had her daughter the day before and was in the hospital still. We had hers planned for 2 weeks before her due date. I suggest having it sooner than later.
I’m hoping to do a hybrid planning thing. I want to pick a date in June or July and throw a co-Ed “baby-q” (I know the name needs some work lol) in our yard, where we feed everyone burgers and beers (except beers for me)! I’ve had a couple people reach out to “plan it” and I’ll give them the list of people to invite, and food to help with… But I have no expectations for games or decorations or anything!
This way we get exactly what we want as a couple, no one has to plan anything extravagant, but I still get to sit back and relax on the day of!
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
1) Has anyone here ever worked with a doula or plan on having a doula with their current pregnancy? We have a FaceTime meet and greet tomorrow and was wondering what essential questions I should ask her.
2) How many guests are usually at a baby shower? We plan on having both men and women there, friends and family.
As for baby shower I think it's totally up to the host and the budget. My family usually only invites women but we have a large family and easily have 30+ people at it. The one my MIL threw I wanted it to be more about my husband because it's his friends and cousins and they're all male, so we had it at a bar and did wings and pizza but we easily had 100 people there. Some I had never met before. I've gone to small 10ish people showers for friends too. I would say invite the people who are important to you, and can fit wherever you're hosting. Thankfully we will have nice weather and outdoors can hold many.
We hired our doula already! This was something I was super excited about and the first thing I researched when I found out I was pregnant because I have always known I wanted one. We were lucky to find a team of three, they take turns being on call so one of them is always rested and we have an opportunity to meet all of them prior to the birth.
Some questions I would ask are: If they are unavailable who is their back up? Will you get a chance to meet this person? At what point would they come to you? Do they have any special techniques or tools? (Ours are trained in massage and will be bringing hot stones they also have a kit with things like flameless candles, snacks, chargers) I would also ask if they do anything else besides doulaing, our doulas are actually photographers as well and do placenta encapsulation. Will they help you create a birth plan? How will they support this plan? Are they available before/ after you give birth? We can text our doulas 24/7 from the moment we hired them until about 3months postpartum to ask any questions or advice. Do they do any postpartum visits?
There are tons of questions you can ask! As someone who has only hired and asked many questions of their doula so far I am really happy with my decision. I think they are going to be able to a valuable member of my birth team and allow my husband and I more time to connect and enjoy the process together. It was so encouraging too that when I told my hospital midwife that we hired a doula she was equally as excited.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Regarding the shower, do whatever feels best for you and the host. My husband had a dad-chelor party, which was basically the diaper party mentioned above. For him it was about 15 of his friends bringing diapers and diapering accessories (cream, wipes, etc.) and they played board games pretty much all day because that's what he likes to do. A lot of men are uncomfortable at traditional showers, so this was a good idea for them and it helped get us stocked on diaper stuff (we switched to cloth at 3 months). But I know some showers are definitely not traditional and geared toward both sexes.
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!