We have a camper. It's definitely glamping. I don't think I'd enjoy it as much if it was in a tent. Our camper is small but it works for us. I don't love not having cell service though. I feel guilty if I can't check in with my mom and she also watches our dog. We have been trying to fill out the state parks passport that pa has. We like the black moshanan state park alot. We like to go hiking but we also enjoy trying bakeries that are in neighboring towns. We like to do a little bit of everything.
@wigglyicecream I don’t see anything wrong with it from a “trauma” standpoint. It’s not going to traumatize them. But I don’t agree with it from a body autonomy angle; I want my kids to make the choices about their bodies and piercing their ears may seem trivial, but it kind of undermines giving them control over themself.
@paytonpedro It is sad when foods you like don’t like you! I run into that with lactose intolerance.😝
@wigglyicecream I agree! I think baby girls look so cute with piercings and yes!! They can choose not to wear when older. My only fear is of one coming out somehow and it getting put in the mouth.
@coco2787 I’m with you! I want tik tok trends to be history! And I don’t like them all being uploaded as reels etc.. The only social media I use is Instagram, and I agree with @starkette that you can really control what you follow, which makes a huge difference in the user experience. I am super particular to follow uplifting/educational accounts and people I know personally, and try to avoid the explore page, because if I start, I know I will waste too much time!😅 On the bright side my explore is mostly baby videos and other cute/funny things that I save to look at with my husband, but I’m okay with reels and tik tok being less popular. I’m just nervous of what will replace it.
@and_peggy I do understand that point of view from body autonomy. I won’t defend my position with trying to use vaccinations as I’ve seen some people do in the past. Since I am pro vaccination and believe it to be different since it has to do with health. I am interested in your opinion on circumcising little boys in respect to body autonomy. I only have a girl so I didn’t have to go that route.
@meagan822 I agree they look so cute. In my experience my daughter has never bothered them at all. We have only have a few instances where her clothing knocked them out but never one where she tugged on them or got them out on her own.
@wigglyicecream I definitely wasn’t trying to start anything. We can disagree, no big deal. And I do think they look precious, I just couldn’t do it.
We circed all 3 boys. I didn’t have a strong opinion on it either way so I deferred to my husband since he’s the one with the penis. 😆 From my research, and info from various drs, there are a lot of medical reasons to circ. If you delay and do it later, there is a higher risk of infection and obviously more pain and trauma. (So I do agree in that aspect - if you’re going to put them through it, it should be done while it won’t be remembered).
Just a little side note: I’ve had 3 boys wits 3 different drs performing the circ. They all look different. I’ve had to see a urologist for 2/3 actually for various reasons. Even circed, you have to pull the skin back, sometimes detaching it, to make sure it’s clean and doesn’t stick. For the 18 month old, I’m still having to detach it every few days. I can’t imagine what that would entail for uncirced.
I’m pro vax and I get the body autonomy inconsistencies you’re referring. I won’t argue with that because we will choose that for them, yes. The difference I see is that I’m making decisions about my kids’ bodies for their health and future health.
We’re comparing apples and oranges; one argument is based on their health and the other is how cute they look.
Also I hope none of them comes across as judgmental. I think it’s important to be able to hold different opinions and still be kind and friends.
@leahrnmom ok but is it a camper owning person thing to hunt out near by bakeries? Lol. We do the same thing! And actually have friends who also do that! Love that PA has a state park passport! I don’t think NY does. I’d be interested in any recommendations for NW PA if you have any? We do a NYS park that rides the boarder of PA, it actually has entrances from both states. It has really great hiking, two huge lakes that offer swimming and canoeing- no motorized boats!, and definitely holds a special place in my heart! If you’re close to NW PA you can access it from Bradford.
Cell service is shotty at best, but there are spots you can access it, and certain stores have free WiFi.
@and_peggy you didn’t start anything at all. I was genuinely curious about your take on it since you have boys. When I said I wouldn’t try and defend my position about the ear piercing it’s bc I’ve heard others try to justify it as “well you force them to get vaccines “ and I don’t agree with that position. Also in my pervious Bmb circumcising was a hot topic and a lot of moms that believed in body autonomy thought that falls into the same category. I believe that if I have a boy I will most likely take the same route as you. I also believe in the power of disagreement and being kind.
@wigglyicecream I truly believe *most people are doing their best. I’ve been in 2 bmbs now that I was hated because I regularly said things people didn’t like. I’m a very blunt and honest person and people don’t often deal with that well.
I also think many of our decisions are influenced by past trauma. One of my very first memories was when I was about 5 years old and being at a friend's house. Her older cousin was babysitting. She was probably 19. She had some boys come over, maybe a bf, not sure. Anyways, they had needles, ice, and lemons, and they were piercing their own ears. They came up to us and made jokes about piercing our ears. Honestly one of those things that stuck with me for 30 years and absolutely traumatized me. So that might be why I feel more opinions on it than most.
@and_peggy honestly I find it very hard to believe that you weren’t popular on 2 bmb’s! I find you, and your honest opinion, experience, and amazing support and absolute delight! ❤️
@and_peggy I could see how your honesty and straightforwardness could rub some people the wrong way but that’s exactly how I am and I appreciate others who aren’t BSers so thank you. And FWIW I like you, a lot! I also appreciate you sharing that story with me and it makes sense why given those circumstances you would feel the way you do. I have no memory of my ears being pierced as a baby but the memories I have of them getting pierced older aren’t the best. I always tell myself that if the worst thing I did was pierce her ears then I’m doing ok in the grand scheme of things. I’m very much pro body autonomy for example, especially with forced affection, and her knowing she can say no and it means no. I’m definitely trying to bring her up different than I was. Not the “they are an adult you have to listen and do what they say 100% of the time”.
@paytonpedro too funny. I love bakeries! I am interested to hear of the NYS park. Bradford isn't too far from us. Jamestown/Linesville state park is nice. They have a beach with a playground, and a nice fishing areas. I liked it because the sites were large. We tend to drive a bit, cooks forest, black moshanan, bald eagle. They're not really NW PA though. Have you been to presque Isle?
@wigglyicecream thank you. I appreciate that. 💙 I think we have some solid ladies here and I’m grateful for friendships I’m making (looking at you).
My husband reminds me that I don’t always have to say everything I’m thinking 😆 but that stems from a childhood of never being told the truth so not being completely honest makes me physically ill. I think it’s so interesting how much of your childhood and past influences even trivial things as an adult.
Im 100% with you. We do not force affection and I regularly say, in front of anyone who makes a demand, that they do not have to get hugs or anything. I often deflect and say maybe you want to do a high five. But my kids’ safety and mental health is more important that someone being upset with me.
Also, we use the anatomical terms. It’s mind blowing to me in 2022 people are still uncomfortable hearing penis or vagina.
@and_peggy We use the anatomical terms too, but I'm the only one with a vagina in our house so to our kids it's a total abstraction. But then when I told them I had a baby inside of me their first question was, "How did it get there?" And I was just like, "I don't know." And then my three year old goes, "Um, maybe through your junk? Your vagina?" Which I get logically he was referring to how babies come out the vagina, which we told him, but I wasn't prepared for that amount of anatomical knowledge from a three year old who has no actual experience with a vagina
@wisewitch222 that made me chuckle 😆 Thankfully my kids have only ever asked, “where do babies come from?”, to which I deflect by saying something like, “mommy’s tummies” 😆 Not quote sure how I’d respond if they asked how it got there.
@and_peggy@wisewitch222 +1 to anatomical terms. My DD knows she has a vulva, a vagina and that my fiancé, her uncle and grandpa all have a penis. What blew my mind was when she had a UTI and told me her vulva hurt the drs and nurses were blown away by it. “Kids her age usually say pee pee” and I firmly but kindly explained I didn’t want her to be one of those women still referring to her privates inaccurately. DD has a half sister who’s 19 and still refers to hers as a “coochie” and has no idea what a vulva is. 🤦🏻♀️
@leahrnmom Allegany State Park is my recommendation! I also only recommend Quaker side, Redhouse campsites aren’t great. Along with the camp sites they also have rustic cabins, and now more built up glamping cabins that I refuse to stay in. Lol. We usually go for 1-2 weeks every summer. I forgot where you’re located? Is it Pittsburg or Erie? We haven’t been to presque isle park but we’ve been to the casino haha. I looked into it a few years ago, but we went upstate in NY instead. PA has a no alcohol in State Parks right? Are they super strict about it? We’re not heavy drinkers and camp with our kid’s, but I definitely enjoy a beer or glass of wine by the fire at night! Idk if were going to be taking our camper anywhere this summer lol
We have a camper. It's definitely glamping. I don't think I'd enjoy it as much if it was in a tent. Our camper is small but it works for us. I don't love not having cell service though. I feel guilty if I can't check in with my mom and she also watches our dog. We have been trying to fill out the state parks passport that pa has. We like the black moshanan state park alot. We like to go hiking but we also enjoy trying bakeries that are in neighboring towns. We like to do a little bit of everything.
Have you ever been to Leonard Harrison State Park, the Grand Canyon of PA? It is so beautiful! Potter/Tioga Counties. Wellsboro is a town nearby that looks like the set of a Hallmark movie.
ETA: spelling mistakes. Also, we honeymooners in Coudersport. It was fantastic. Cherry Springs State Park blew my mind with the amount of stars I could see. Where I live, it's like "oh look! The 5 stars are out." Lol
We also use the correct terminology, but also say weiner or weeny occasionally. Usually I say penis though.
As for where babies come from, my children say Jesus gave us this baby and according to our religion, they’re not wrong. As for how babies come out, I watched all the seasons of Call The Midwife before my extremely intelligent kindergartener went to school and he asked one day is she was “pooping the baby out” and I told him he was exactly right! I mean, it’s not wrong… it’s just coming from a different hole… idk. I’ll explain it later. Or better yet, I’ll let my husband explain it to them when the time comes. 😅
I remember my mother having a graphic sex talk with me in elementary school when I asked where babies came from and looking back, for me I felt that was unnecessary, left a lot more questions than it answered, stole my innocence, and kinda traumatized me. So I plan to wait longer than she did and deflecting. She was following the “answer questions truthfully” advice and it was too much for my 6-7 year old brain.
@paytonpedro I’m all for trying to explain things in an age appropriate manner. I told DD that baby is tiny and gets bigger and is in a bubble then when the baby gets too big it pops and then the baby comes out of my vagina. I told her this baby will be different and they will take it out of my belly directly. I think that’s about as far as I will go into it.
@wigglyicecream I think that’s a great description for a little girl and all I would have needed to know lol. With boys I just honestly don’t feel comfortable giving them that knowledge at this point. And they haven’t pushed the topic or asked anything else so it makes it easy to just leave it at that.
@paytonpedro I agree. They don’t have the parts so I agree it’s probably a more abstract concept for them. And according to my belief too Jesus gave me all my babies too.
@paytonpedro We do say God is responsible for the baby being there (theologically God is ultimately responsible, even if not immediately responsible) and just act like it's this great mystery. Like one day, surprise! You wake up and you're pregnant. That's what my parents told me so that's what I'm going with for my kids. We also tell them that love is involved. Two people have to love each other, but they don't have to be married. And then randomly if two people love each other and one of them has a uterus, there might just be a baby in there one day.
@wigglyicecream exactly that! Probably easier for a girl with a vagina to understand than a boy with a penis lol.
@wisewitch222 yeah that’s pretty basically what we’re going with too! They were telling me for a while that they wanted a baby sister and I told them they would have to pray to Jesus. So when this baby came about, it was almost like an answered prayer all around! And it made it so much easier for them to understand without much more explanation. They basically just accepted that.
@coco2787 Yes… I don’t mind the entertainment part of TikTok but I do not love when my kids hear me watching and then want to watch too. Some of it is cool and I don’t mind them watching the animal or farming videos but a lot of it I don’t want them exposed to—it’s adult.
And I just want to say how nice it was to read an entire conversation, to include opposing viewpoints about circumcision and ear piecing where everyone acted like a grown adult. This made my whole Friday.
I love Taco Bell. I also love Little Caesar's pizza.
I had little Caesar’s for lunch yesterday. The pizza is one thing, but the crazy bread 😋
Also +1 to not liking steaks or tea.
I honestly can’t think of anything else to add. All my opinions feel super popular to me, although maybe they aren’t.
It has been nice to see an internet interaction on hot-button topics that didn’t devolve into “U R A POO HEAD AND YOUR FEET STINK”.
Ooooh I thought of one! I would honestly rather sit in silence than listen to the “wrong” music. Not like “oh this is lame music” or even “I don't like (genre) music” but just “nope, I don’t want this right now, wrong mood”. Like, if my playlist isn’t cutting it on my drive in in the morning, I will cut that ish off in a heartbeat and crack a window instead. I also don’t listen to the radio at all. I think the last time I turned on my radio, “Seven Years” by Lukas Graham and that “Lost Boys” song were popular.
we use correct anatomical terms with our daughter and one of my pet peeves is saying baby is in mamas "belly". Please say uterus! It's scary for kids to think baby's grow in the tummy where food is digested. Some kids even begin to think baby's come out of the belly button. Since my daughter was little and started asking about where baby's come from (maybe since she was 3) she knows daddy plants a seed in mommy's uterus and if we are lucky the seed finds the tiny egg and a baby will start growing. then when it's done growing and the baby is born either through the vagina (a hole different than the one where pee comes out from) or are born through surgery. We aren't religious and don't really add god or jesus into the conversation. After going through secondary infertility, it felt really hard for my religious parents to say things like "it'll happen on god's time" because we were doing everything right and it felt like if we did believe in god then he's not very fair or nice. Sorry if that's hurtful...I don't mean to offend or anything. It was a hard time.
At @starkette the part that makes me uncomfortable is how dad plants the seed. How do you explain that without explaining sex? Do you say the seed just comes out of his penis? I just can't. I have very inquisitive children who are very good on the follow up questions, and I know if I brought the male role into the equation I would end up explaining sex, and I really don't believe it's appropriate for boys under 10 (and girls maybe a little younger? But definitely not 3 and 6) to know about sex.
@starkette I never gave much thought about the uterus aspect about pregnancy. I am guilty of saying baby is in my “belly or tummy”. So thank you for that perspective.
@wisewitch222 about the dad part and explaining how the seed got to my uterus and trying to explain sex as my DD is also very inquisitive and loves follow up questions in addition to the “why”.
I guess religion gives us an easier out in explaining it, since we don’t have to venture down that road. I think once my daughter is a bit older I will try and explain things in more depth
@starkette thanks for offering that perspective about the uterus. I’d never thought about that actually.
I do think there’s a time and age to discuss “planting seeds”, however, I don’t believe it’s an appropriate conversation for my 5 year old and younger ones. I definitely tell my kids the truth, and certainly will have the sex conversation when it’s time but just because that is what happens, doesn’t mean my kids need to know yet. I want them to be curious and know the facts but I also want them to be kids. I don’t know, maybe it works for you, but it doesn’t seem appropriate to share anything remotely sexual with my kids.
@starkette I'm 100% guilty of saying belly instead of uterous. We do use penis with DS, but I haven't used vulva/vagina at all. I just mentioned that girls have different parts. I'll be honest, I've been a bit hesitant on over complicating things because DS is speech delayed. I've been worried because he can't always express himself enough to ask the right questions to overcomplicate things. I really shouldn't because he is a very bright kid and reading this thread is making me realize we aren't doing my son any favors keeping him in the dark. I'm going to look into getting a book about where babies come from so he has all the facts.
Re: planting seeds I'm vague but I also say it's a process we can talk about when you're older. There are definitely levels of information appropriate for kids at different ages, for sure agree with that. Never do I get explicit and my 8 year old does not know the details of how these things happen. She's also super inquisitive but I stand my ground and say "That's all I can tell you right now, it's complicated and when you're older we can talk more about it. Now let's get some cookies!" lol. Telling portions of how things work isn't always a sexual conversation but rather one about biology.
Oh I'll also show her age appropriate illustrations of the ova and sperm (and uterus) so she doesn't picture a chicken egg when I say "egg". She's also aware that boy anatomy is different from her's and knows what a penis IS but not what it looks like because that's not appropriate. There are lots of good books on the subject!
Recommend: Sex Positive Talks to Have with Kids and 30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 3-7 and 8-11 (two separate books).
It's easy to take what you want from those books and leave out what you don't want to use. But I've found they have great ways to word things and great ways to keep things open, honest, and age appropriate. It's also really helpful for talking about bodily consent, boundaries, and other important topics.
@cas060 don’t think anyone was arguing that body anatomy wasn’t age appropriate. Personally, I was saying a conversation regarding sex was not appropriate with a 3 year old.
@and_peggy Exactly. If my boys get a baby sister, they're definitely going to learn what girl anatomy looks like, but they don't have to know what sex is and how people do it.
ETA (didn't get to finish my thought because bath night) @starkette I don't think I can get away with, "that's all you can know for right now," with my relentlessly inquisitive and super smart kids. (Like the three year old who figured the baby must have gotten in through the vagina since that's where it will be coming out.) Better to let them think it's something that appears sui generis inside a uterus for now.
Re: UO 1/27
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
@wigglyicecream I agree! I think baby girls look so cute with piercings and yes!! They can choose not to wear when older. My only fear is of one coming out somehow and it getting put in the mouth.
We circed all 3 boys. I didn’t have a strong opinion on it either way so I deferred to my husband since he’s the one with the penis. 😆 From my research, and info from various drs, there are a lot of medical reasons to circ. If you delay and do it later, there is a higher risk of infection and obviously more pain and trauma. (So I do agree in that aspect - if you’re going to put them through it, it should be done while it won’t be remembered).
Just a little side note: I’ve had 3 boys wits 3 different drs performing the circ. They all look different. I’ve had to see a urologist for 2/3 actually for various reasons. Even circed, you have to pull the skin back, sometimes detaching it, to make sure it’s clean and doesn’t stick. For the 18 month old, I’m still having to detach it every few days. I can’t imagine what that would entail for uncirced.
We’re comparing apples and oranges; one argument is based on their health and the other is how cute they look.
Also I hope none of them comes across as judgmental. I think it’s important to be able to hold different opinions and still be kind and friends.
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I also think many of our decisions are influenced by past trauma. One of my very first memories was when I was about 5 years old and being at a friend's house. Her older cousin was babysitting. She was probably 19. She had some boys come over, maybe a bf, not sure. Anyways, they had needles, ice, and lemons, and they were piercing their own ears. They came up to us and made jokes about piercing our ears. Honestly one of those things that stuck with me for 30 years and absolutely traumatized me. So that might be why I feel more opinions on it than most.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
My husband reminds me that I don’t always have to say everything I’m thinking 😆 but that stems from a childhood of never being told the truth so not being completely honest makes me physically ill. I think it’s so interesting how much of your childhood and past influences even trivial things as an adult.
Im 100% with you. We do not force affection and I regularly say, in front of anyone who makes a demand, that they do not have to get hugs or anything. I often deflect and say maybe you want to do a high five. But my kids’ safety and mental health is more important that someone being upset with me.
Also, we use the anatomical terms. It’s mind blowing to me in 2022 people are still uncomfortable hearing penis or vagina.
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Thankfully my kids have only ever asked, “where do babies come from?”, to which I deflect by saying something like, “mommy’s tummies” 😆
Not quote sure how I’d respond if they asked how it got there.
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ETA: spelling mistakes. Also, we honeymooners in Coudersport. It was fantastic. Cherry Springs State Park blew my mind with the amount of stars I could see. Where I live, it's like "oh look! The 5 stars are out." Lol
I remember my mother having a graphic sex talk with me in elementary school when I asked where babies came from and looking back, for me I felt that was unnecessary, left a lot more questions than it answered, stole my innocence, and kinda traumatized me. So I plan to wait longer than she did and deflecting. She was following the “answer questions truthfully” advice and it was too much for my 6-7 year old brain.
@meagan822 I will eat all of your steaks for you.
Also +1 to not liking steaks or tea.
It has been nice to see an internet interaction on hot-button topics that didn’t devolve into “U R A POO HEAD AND YOUR FEET STINK”.
I guess religion gives us an easier out in explaining it, since we don’t have to venture down that road. I think once my daughter is a bit older I will try and explain things in more depth
I do think there’s a time and age to discuss “planting seeds”, however, I don’t believe it’s an appropriate conversation for my 5 year old and younger ones. I definitely tell my kids the truth, and certainly will have the sex conversation when it’s time but just because that is what happens, doesn’t mean my kids need to know yet. I want them to be curious and know the facts but I also want them to be kids. I don’t know, maybe it works for you, but it doesn’t seem appropriate to share anything remotely sexual with my kids.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
I'm vague but I also say it's a process we can talk about when you're older. There are definitely levels of information appropriate for kids at different ages, for sure agree with that. Never do I get explicit and my 8 year old does not know the details of how these things happen. She's also super inquisitive but I stand my ground and say "That's all I can tell you right now, it's complicated and when you're older we can talk more about it. Now let's get some cookies!" lol. Telling portions of how things work isn't always a sexual conversation but rather one about biology.
Oh I'll also show her age appropriate illustrations of the ova and sperm (and uterus) so she doesn't picture a chicken egg when I say "egg". She's also aware that boy anatomy is different from her's and knows what a penis IS but not what it looks like because that's not appropriate. There are lots of good books on the subject!
Recommend: Sex Positive Talks to Have with Kids and 30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 3-7 and 8-11 (two separate books).
It's easy to take what you want from those books and leave out what you don't want to use. But I've found they have great ways to word things and great ways to keep things open, honest, and age appropriate. It's also really helpful for talking about bodily consent, boundaries, and other important topics.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
ETA (didn't get to finish my thought because bath night) @starkette I don't think I can get away with, "that's all you can know for right now," with my relentlessly inquisitive and super smart kids. (Like the three year old who figured the baby must have gotten in through the vagina since that's where it will be coming out.) Better to let them think it's something that appears sui generis inside a uterus for now.