We have just gotten absolutely covered in snow again. Currently have a foot but expected to get 8-10 more inches today. @wigglyicecream are you getting hit by this too? It seems to be all of NYS.
@paytonpedro we were supposed to get it too but when I look outside it’s disappointing at best. I don’t love the snow but if it’s going to snow at least be enough to play in
@anniemarie887 the same thing happened where I live. At least I have off for MLK Day today, so the only place I have to go is to pick up some ginger tea from my local Buy Nothing FB Group.
Mh has been outside snow blowing for almost 2 hours… mostly just going over the same place twice and then blowing snow where he already did. 🙄 Also, ring doorbell pic for the win. Lol.
@wigglyicecream that's not *that* disappointing of an amount of snow. At least you can't see the grass. Before today we had a stupid week of like 14 degrees with only a dusting of snow. That was disappointing.
Why do y’all willingly live in a place you have to shovel snow? 😆😆 it’s a never for me. Although you’ll hear me complaining in May when it’s approx 400 degrees.
Hi all, feeling a little bummed today. Since the moment I found out I am pregnant I wanted to get midwife care and hopefully have a home birth. Back then I called my insurance and things made sense-it looked like either way I would be spending similar amounts (midwife would qualify as out-of-network though). But as I get more into details it actually seems like getting a midwife would cost me around $2500 more...I don't know that I can justify that... especially with all the expenses we are going to have once baby is here 😪 Anyone who has had/will have midwife care have any tips or recommendations or things I should be looking into?
@and_peggy I live in CO and I hate the winter, but my stepson is here he's the main reason why we stay. I would love to not worry about driving in dangerous conditions and I don't like hibernating (not much to do unless you ski/snowboard). Summers are gorgeous here though
@and_peggy snows annoying but doesn’t do as much damage as other weather emergencies (tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, mud slides, etc) so it’s the best alternative to us. Plus we were born and raised here so it’s just normal to us.
@bre2022 I don’t have any advice but I’m sorry you’re going through that. I hope your situation works out and you can get the care you want and deserve.
@bre2022 If you’re committed to midwife care, maybe you find a midwife that works within the insurance/hospital system? With my first I had a midwife who was part of a team of 6 midwives that delivered at the local hospital, and the hospital had a natural birthing suite, that was basically a big bedroom with a big tub (they also attended more traditional hospital births too). With my second I also had a midwife team that delivered at the hospital. I know it’s not the same as a home birth, but maybe you can find a compromise that will make you feel more comfortable and also not cost you a fortune out of pocket? Just a thought.
Whatever you choose, I hope you find something that allows you the birth you want.
Today when I got to work so many staff members couldn't make it in. The police had to go get a few doctors. I was the resource nurse so I went and picked up 3 ICU nurses and a patient care technician. It is crazy. Luckily we got enough people here to make it work. So much snow!! I'm thankful for our snowblower and my husband who will get up to snow blow it.
+1 for having a spouse who blows the snow! I always know when we got a good amount of snow before I get up because my next door neighbor always shovels her whole entire driveway before work beginning at 5:30 am, and our bedroom window is right next to our driveway.
@wisewitch222 oof that's rough. I get having to dig out before work, but I just do my car and get on the road. Speaking of, I have to go get my ice scraper from my dad's house. I just moved out in August. We've been fortunate so far that I haven't needed to use it.
@bridgiebee82 I don't usually mind her shoveling at 5:30 since we get up at 5:45 on weekdays anyway, but today we (teachers) were off work so it was annoying.
@bre2022 yea doulas and midwives are pricey but most allow payments in installments, if that helps. It's hard to justify the cost, but doesn't it include post-partum care, too? And breastfeeding support? That's definitely valuable. I guess it depends if you are really set on having a home birth? A close friend of mine desperately wanted a home birth and always praises her midwife. Sorry it costs so much! I hate that.
Anyone not told their family yet? We still haven’t. My mom is definitely getting suspicious. Hopefully if everything goes well tomorrow at my appointment, I can share with her after. I’ve always spilled it to her by 6 weeks so making it past 11 seems like a big feat 😆
I’m struggling how to tell my sister. She’s 5 years older than me, has 1 kiddo and has struggled with IF for many years. It’s been extremely difficult to share each time, and honestly has driven a wedge between us. I just want to be sensitive but I know she’s going to be devastated that it’s been much easier for me. She’s never mad at me but she’s made comments that are hurtful, which I honestly understand, but it makes me upset because I’ve gone through a.l lot too. Just a rant because I’m nervous about telling her.
@and_peggy here to support you and let you know you’re not alone. I have some friends who I’ve held off on telling bc I’m not sure where they are in their motherhood journey and I want to be sensitive. I also ended a friendship for many other reasons in addition to her telling me she’s envious and jealous of pregnant women and I knew I wanted to get pregnant in the near future. I haven’t told my brother yet mostly bc he has a big mouth and has been extremely insensitive when I had my two losses. I don’t have any real advice just solidarity. I’ve read that if people use mediated communication like a text it’s easier for people who are having tough feelings since they won’t be “on the spot” like a phone call or in person.
@and_peggy ugh. I’m sorry you’re going through that with your sister. It has to be very difficult. My good friends have been trying for #2 for 8 years, and while it’s not my sister, I dreaded telling them. I hope that when you do finally tell your sister that she can at least have a neutral reaction for you.
We haven’t told our family either @and_peggy, we are waiting until we see all of them in person this weekend. And I’m with you on the mom thing, I can’t wait until I can complain to her about how sick I’ve been 😅 I don’t have any advice about your sister, just want to say I’m sorry that any of you are having to be put in that situation. And I second what @wigglyicecream said, I’ve seen many women prefer a text or email (whatever way they normally communicate) so that they have time to process without actually being face to face. Hugs to you
@wigglyicecream@paytonpedro thank you for the support. I do think a text will be the way I go, that way she can react however she needs to before responding. My heart genuinely hurts for her because I know how badly she wants to grow her family. It’s just kind of a complicated relationship in general. And at the end of the day, I know she sill be happy for me, but I’m definitely just dreading it.
And along those lines, I feel like the general reaction from people will be neutral. It’s baby #5 and people tend to have a lot of opinions on big families, and apparently all big families have the same morals, ideas, beliefs etc 🙄 So I’m just probably avoiding the announcement so I don’t have to hear, “you know how that happens, right?” 5000 times
@and_peggy I completely understand your concern in telling your sister. Not my sister but close, my best friend since I was 7yo has been trying unsuccessfully for over a decade to have a baby. The last time I told her in person it was just too painful for her and did not go well at all. I agree with @wigglyicecream about telling via text. I felt bad texting, but it went much better. She took some time to respond and when she did it was with support. Sorry, it is so hard to navigate such rightfully intense feelings of someone so close, while wanting to share important details about your life.
@and_peggy boy do I feel your pain. My one living relative is a half-sister who is much older, 52, starting menopause and on disability for mental health challenges. She wanted one child and had him in 2000, then left home/came out at age 40, so she effectively stopped being a parent him past age 12, and it left her with attachment trauma & regret. He’s 23 now and has no desire to have her in his life.
When I told her I am pregnant she replied with “Congrats! At this point I wish I never had children.” and then began a reign of toxicity & concerns & projection on my life for a month until I had to effectively go no contact a couple weeks ago. I had hoped she would be there to celebrate this time in my life, as I was for her during her pregnancy. I told her that “I hope she is able to celebrate this pregnancy in the coming months” and am giving her space for now.
I do walk on eggshells with her, and honestly didn’t think this was something I would need to hold back on. I believe she was able to support me through IF because she thought I wouldn’t ever get pregnant.
I’m probably not doing much to assuage your fears, but I will say that after a week of initial sadness, I feel a weight has lifted. I feel freed and able to celebrate my pregnancy without her lashing out at me daily. I do have empathy for her, and want to hold space for her because I love her and want to share this experience with her, but I need to be selfish with what little energy I have rn. I also understand that boundaries are love too; I need the boundary to ensure the energy around me remains positive, and evidently she needs space to cope with whatever feelings my pregnancy have given her. Her wife is ~35 and they hope to have a child, so maybe she’ll put her energy towards adoption or IUI for her wife. Also, as a woman who struggled with IF for the past decade it’s challenging to hear any news of another pregnancy and have the inner conflict of wanting to celebrate, but being too triggered to. I lost a lot of friends along the way, but I am deeply grateful for the few friends who had the grace to give me space when they were pregnant — and then welcomed be back into their life with open arms once I was ready. At risk of being redundant “boundaries are love too” and while it may feel counterintuitive to have space as a solution, it was the one thing that saved my relationships through IF challenges.
I don’t know how you or your sister feels, but I support you and hope you can have some relief from what sounds like anticipation anxiety. Attachments, man. They’re not always easy. *hugs*
I'm sorry for all the mamas and mamas-to-be who are dealing with difficult announcements and family issues. These things are never easy and my heart goes out to all of you. Anyone who is actively thinking about how their announcement will effect other people is a kind soul, and I am sure you will find your way with compassion. Hugs
@betsummerswilliams thank you for offering the perspective from the other side of the situation. It’s really helpful to hear it reiterated that space is often the best solution.
I’m sorry to hear about the situation with your half-sister. That sounds stressful but I’m glad you were able to make peace with telling her your news. I know I will feel freed, as you said, after I share. But yes, definitely all the anticipation anxiety.
Thank you everyone for the encouragement and support ☺️
@and_peggy just here to chime in and say text is probably best, because it allows her to process on her own time and with some privacy. i follow someone on IG who has had a miscarriage, stillbirth, miscarriage... and is working through IVF treatment... she was just asked about this and she said it's a great idea to ask that person if they are in a place to hear about pregnancy news, and that while always happy for friends she was been caught off guard many times. i hope that helps.
Thank you all for sharing your stories about sharing. I'm so sorry for mamas and mamas to be that sharing your news is causing such a hard time. We shared the news on Christmas Eve with both of our families. The next morning we went to MH's dad's house and his sister was high af on anxiety meds that she had taken too many of after she heard the news. I didn't know that it would affect her that way, or I would have told her differently. But now she has been really supportive and excited.
Phew! After a fun, busy weekend in the Windy City, I think I’ve FINALLY caught up in all the drama *ahem* posts! Sorry I haven’t been contributing much lately, but know I read every single thread and comment and support you all! I’ll try to hop in more this week. I love this community!
@wigglyicecream it's phenomenal. It's one of those chairs that helps you stand up completely out of it. My dad is unstable on his feet so this really helps him. We upgraded it over the summer to a new one with massage and heat. SO worth it.
@bridgiebee82 my step dad has one as well but says his is uncomfortable so he doesn’t sit in it much. But he also sleeps in the chair and is 300+ so I’m sure the other factors also weigh in
@paytonpedro@maggiemadeit@starkette Thank you for the encouraging words! This is my first pregnancy so I am looking up as much as I can to add up expenses and have a clear idea. Also, I live in the high country, so no many options available unfortunately 😕
@and_peggy and others who’s children have had covid recently- Ugh. My 5yo is positive now. He has a fever and chills and just seems like he feels like crap. How long did this last for your little ones? Did they have a fever? How high did it get? I hate seeing him sick and I was holding out hope that it would skip over them but I guess not.
Re: Weekly Randoms 1/17
This is outside. The snow on the driveway to the left is new.
ETA spoiler
also I just upped my niceness when responding to the one off. Jessicas2022 would be proud #adminlife Lmao
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
Today when I got to work so many staff members couldn't make it in. The police had to go get a few doctors. I was the resource nurse so I went and picked up 3 ICU nurses and a patient care technician. It is crazy. Luckily we got enough people here to make it work. So much snow!! I'm thankful for our snowblower and my husband who will get up to snow blow it.
I’m struggling how to tell my sister. She’s 5 years older than me, has 1 kiddo and has struggled with IF for many years. It’s been extremely difficult to share each time, and honestly has driven a wedge between us. I just want to be sensitive but I know she’s going to be devastated that it’s been much easier for me. She’s never mad at me but she’s made comments that are hurtful, which I honestly understand, but it makes me upset because I’ve gone through a.l lot too. Just a rant because I’m nervous about telling her.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
be happy for me, but I’m definitely just dreading it.
And along those lines, I feel like the general reaction from people will be neutral. It’s baby #5 and people tend to have a lot of opinions on big families, and apparently all big families have the same morals, ideas, beliefs etc 🙄 So I’m just probably avoiding the announcement so I don’t have to hear, “you know how that happens, right?” 5000 times
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
Also, as a woman who struggled with IF for the past decade it’s challenging to hear any news of another pregnancy and have the inner conflict of wanting to celebrate, but being too triggered to. I lost a lot of friends along the way, but I am deeply grateful for the few friends who had the grace to give me space when they were pregnant — and then welcomed be back into their life with open arms once I was ready. At risk of being redundant “boundaries are love too” and while it may feel counterintuitive to have space as a solution, it was the one thing that saved my relationships through IF challenges.
I’m sorry to hear about the situation with your half-sister. That sounds stressful but I’m glad you were able to make peace with telling her your news. I know I will feel freed, as you said, after I share. But yes, definitely all the anticipation anxiety.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
Hopefully I'll find a way!
Ugh. My 5yo is positive now. He has a fever and chills and just seems like he feels like crap. How long did this last for your little ones? Did they have a fever? How high did it get? I hate seeing him sick and I was holding out hope that it would skip over them but I guess not.