IF Testing & Treatment w/o 11.29

acleverusername · November 2021

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been):

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):

How are things going?:

Any questions?:

GTKY: Now that (American) Thanksgiving is over, what are your Christmas plans?

acleverusername · November 2021

I'm just gonna go ahead and get the ball rolling since I'm technically off today, although I'm still planning to do a wee bit of work later.

Diagnosis (if you've been): official - Unexplained Infertility; unofficial - Hashimoto's, AMA, sperm that doesn't like to ask for directions.

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): IVF retrieval cycle number 3, if O ever decides to show up. Grrrrr.

How are things going?: Things are... interesting. First, I'm super pissed off with my body, and I know I find myself in good company for complaining about that here. But seriously, O, where TF are you? Grr. Anyways, tomorrow I gotta drag myself to the clinic for blood tests so that they can check my hormone levels and gauge when Sergio might make his appearance.

Second, we also have "A Situation" developing with MH's health. Trying not to freak out yet, but let's just say that there's been some emotional highs and lows in the past 4-5 days since MH's ultrasound last Wednesday. Spoilering just in case with ***TW for potential big C***.

MH's ultrasound results got posted to his portal that afternoon, and the language used isn't particularly confidence-inspiring. He has a HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS nodule on his thyroid, that warrants a biopsy. What's more is that there is apparently a ranking of "how suspicious is suspicious" based on several criteria, and his meets ARC TI-RADS5 criteria which carries a 35% risk of malignancy. So, I sent a frantic message to the doctor on Wed, but of course only heard back today, and she's officially referred him for a biopsy. In true doctor fashion, she told us not a freak out as we cannot say it's anything until after the biopsy.

On the positive side of things, we had a consult call with TEW on Friday, during which we discussed the game plan. So, now it's to get through this next retrieval and then move on to prepping my body / mind for the transfer. On, and in the meanwhile, I decided to avail myself of this Pregume platform which TEW discussed with Dr. Vidali in one of her TEW shows (posted to that PCOS/MTHFR/Blood Disorders thread) and apparently they have an amazing discount for the first 30 customers. Since my consult with Dr. Jubiz was going to be out of pocket, I've decided that this is the better one to go with, and Dr. Aimee supports that as well.

This weekend, we went away to an inn in Sonoma County and did a lot of wine drinking. I have no regrets.

Any questions?: Nah.

GTKY: Now that (American) Thanksgiving is over, what are your Christmas plans? My in-laws have a place they snowbird in, in AZ, so we're heading there for 10 days. MH's brother and SIL are flying in from Germany too, first to visit us, and then to travel together (we're driving) to AZ. We're all really looking forward to this and hoping that Omicron doesn't throw everything off. But just in case, I had booked a place with a very generous cancellation policy so if things do end up going to shit, I can cancel right up to Dec 23.

optimistgardener · November 2021

Diagnosis (if you've been): geriatric ovary, and only the one

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO, stims day 8

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): IVF retrieval cycle

How are things going?: better than Friday! I had another ultrasound this morning. stats in spoiler, but tl/dr is that the cycle will not be cancelled and it remains a mystery as to whether this new, slower-responding version of my body will produce better follicles.

The doc saw 4 follicles between 10-13mm, with 3 littles bringing up the rear. This is a couple more than my last u/s, although I am not sure whether we'll get these others on board for this retrieval. My E2 remains lowish at 217, but my lining has gone from basically non-existent on Friday to 7.2mm trilaminar.

I did a bit of pubmed reading while in the waiting room re: low E2 levels in IVF cycles. The data is a bit mixed and mostly only exists for the E2 levels at retrieval stage (so, not what i'm looking at right now). On the one hand higher E2 levels point to better follicle maturation rates, but once you get your mature follicles, a somewhat lower E2 level/oocyte is correlated with better blast and euploidy rates. @bumblebee0210 may or may not find this interesting as it doesn't mesh well with her personal dataset. individual results vary, of course! Relevant quotes in spoilers.

https://doi.org/10.1530/EC-20-0435

"Despite the similarities to the above studies, we found that maternal age had a significant impact on E2/M2 ratio. Moreover, in contrast to those reports, our study measured E2 to mature oocyte ratio. In our opinion, this analysis is more accurate since only M2 oocytes may have an impact on fertilization and cycle outcomes. Moreover, it is known that immature oocytes contribute less E2 to the total circulating concentration of estrogen. Therefore, the total E2/oocyte ratio may not be an accurate predictor of cycle outcomes. We found that the E2/M2 ratio can be used to predict cycle outcomes and embryo quality and that a ratio >204 predicted lower rates of fertilization, fewer good quality embryos and fewer embryos to freeze and more positive pregnancy test and clinical pregnancies. [...] Our study showed a significant difference between the groups according to E2/M2 ratios in terms of cell-cycle division. As shown, when E2/M2 ≤ 204, oocytes completed the second meiosis significantly faster. However, those oocytes were slower during cell division throughout the cleavage stage in t7-t8. There is a consensus among researchers that embryo kinetic parameters are predictive of the likelihood of achieving pregnancy. Considering the higher pregnancy rates and number of good quality embryos in the E2/M2 ≤ 204 group, our data support the assumption that slower cell division correlates with a longer time for cell repair, which results in higher quality embryos."

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6133823/ - looking at E2 results in oocyte donors

"Our study suggests that healthy, non-infertile oocyte donors do not conform to this trend. In fact, just over half (n = 184, 50.2%) of our donor cycles studied demonstrated an E2 to oocyte ratio less than 100 pg/mL, considered suboptimal in prior studies, and 74 cycles (20.2%) demonstrated an E2 to oocyte ratio less than 50 pg/mL. Despite no differences in age or baseline ovarian reserve characteristics, donor cycles with low E2 response received significantly greater total gonadotropin dose and longer stimulation, resulting in higher oocyte yield and subsequently improved embryo development compared to donor cycles with typical E2 response. Pregnancy outcomes and percentage of euploid embryos following PGS were similar between typical and low estradiol response cycles."

Any questions?: nope

GTKY: Now that (American) Thanksgiving is over, what are your Christmas plans?

I haven't really thought things through as far ahead as xmas. My mom has kind of a nerve-wracking CT scan scheduled for I believe the 23rd, and the results of that will likely shape how celebratory we all will feel.

optimistgardener · November 2021

@acleverusername i think we were posting at the same time. i'm so so sorry to hear that yh had an ambiguous u/s and the need for a biopsy. all i can say is that i know how scary it can feel to wait when we want to be proactively doing something! until you learn otherwise, do your best to hold on to that statistical probability that you're in that 65% for whom it is not a malignancy. next steps only after you get the results from the biopsy. i'll be thinking of you both.

walkawaynee · November 2021

@acleverusername I am sorry to hear about YH and thr scary waiting game. I agree with Optimist about *trying* not to stress until you know more and focusing on the 65%. Hoping Sergio shows up soon!

@optimistgardener Good news on not canceling and seeing some progress maybe this odd (for you) response will be the lucky one?

*my comments were mysteriously deleted twice whilst typing and my brain hurts from remembering what I was trying to say.

Diagnosis (if you've been): AMA, DOR, low morph, lazy thyroid.

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO, day 6 of stims

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Egg retrieval cycle

How are things going?:
Had a monitoring appt today and will now be going daily and he suspects trigger on Thursday or Friday. Follicles were 17, 14 and 5 more in the 9-11 range.

Just to make life more interesting... remember how I saw the other RE on Saturday? I just got a message that he tested positive for Covid.

Insurance drama:

I know I am super lucky to have Insurance that covers meds at all but its frustrating how complicated they make it. I requested refills on all my meds because they only gave me 8 days but I will likely need 1 or 2 more days at least. Insurance approved menopur and cetro (for the full original script) but not the Gonal-F, when I pushed back she said they wouldn't approve another 8 pens but they will give me 3 for the same copay as I paid for 8. Or I can wait until 12/6 to order the full 8.

Any questions?: nope

GTKY: Now that (American) Thanksgiving is over, what are your Christmas plans?
Rotating between all of our families here in town. Usually 4-6 houses plus trying to find some alone time. A friend is visiting from Colorado and staying with us, although we likely won't see much of her. She is here to visit family but they don't have room for her and her BF so they pretty much just sleep here.

fantasyflyte · November 2021

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS, MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): waiting

How are things going?: eh. I'm in a real weird mood the last few days. Feel like I'm just in a holding pattern of blugh.

Any questions?: Did any of you guys find it hard to be motivated to continue trying natural cycles while waiting for treatment cycles? We're doing an IUI with letrozole next cycle, but I'm in FW for this cycle now. Only I have little to no desire to try right now, I haven't even bothered with opks this month. I don't know if it's because of the stress of the end of the semester, stress of busy season at work, stress of finances, because I've got a cold, or because it feels pointless to try this month when we've already failed 12 cycles and we're doing an assisted cycle next cycle so what's the point trying now. Probably it's a combination of all of the above. But I feel like I have no motivation for this cycle, but also feel guilty for wasting a cycle of we don't. I told my husband we might have to just resort to the syringe method this month if I don't feel more motivated tonight.

GTKY: Now that (American) Thanksgiving is over, what are your Christmas plans?
Probably just xmas at my parents house. We haven't decided if we're doing extended family or not. We've got most of our decor up. We were going to finish today but I woke up feeling like crap so that didn't happen.

fantasyflyte · November 2021

@acleverusername I'm sorry there's so much stress for you guys right now, and I've got my fingers crossed the biopsy shows your husband is in the 65% benign group.

@optimistgardener I'm glad today's ultrasound was better, and I hope your mom's scan shows good news.

acleverusername · November 2021

@optimistgardener Yay for a much more positive ultrasound today! Hopefully those littles catch up. When are you back there? PS did you ask about taking Menopur at night?

@walkawaynee I hope those 5 catch up and yield a mature egg. Is your clinic far away? I know that going every day can be extremely inconvenient, but I also think this is a good sign that your provider is keep such a close eye on you. As for the RE you saw on the weekend.... 😵Do you have to get a Covid test now?

@fantasyflyte girl... I totally get the pre-treatment "TTC slump". Keep in mind, you _could_ be one of those speshful snowflakes that gets KU'ed before treatment. But also, give you body and mind a break. If you're not feeling up to it, then don't. It does sound you've got a lot on your plate rn; and who's in the mood to DTD with a cold?

@optimistgardener @walkawaynee @fantasyflyte thanks for your encouraging thoughts. We are of course trying to keep calm and just let this play out. MH ended up buying a white paper on Wed that unfortunately gave a less joyful outlook. Alas, it was the day before thanksgiving and maybe the radiologist was already in pre-Turkey coma when assessing what she saw on the U/S. But I really do hope we can get that biopsy scheduled ASAP. Let's just say that our plan to travel across the country might be put on ice for now.

optimistgardener · November 2021

@walkawaynee fx for no covid, a solid lineup of mature follicles for the retrieval, and enough meds to get you through! i'm sorry your insurance is stressing you out with dumb rules. has your RE talked about the possibility of letting that lead follicle go in order to get a better shot at the smaller follicles?

@fantasyflyte i'm sorry that it feels kinda hard to motivate for trying naturally now that you're in the realm of assisted reproduction. i think Clever has it spot on, like give it a shot but also don't stress it. Everyone needs a break now and again. Speaking as a veteran of the syringe method, I can vouch for its practicality if not for its romantic appeal. If that's what it takes to feel like you "ticked the box" this month then I say go for it.

walkawaynee · November 2021

@fantasyflyte I felt the same way during the cycle (the turned into 2 cycles) leading up to ivf. I was terrible at tracking and timing and all of that. It was honestly a nice little mental break.

@acleverusername I hope you still get to do your road trip because that sounded so amazing! My RE is less than 20 minutes away so it's not bad at all. They said I only needed a test if I was symptomatic so just being extra careful for now.

walkawaynee · November 2021

@optimistgardener I didn't see your reply. He hasn't said anything about letting the lead go but I am going to ask that tomorrow. He said he triggers when 2 are over 18 so idk. I guess we will see. I am sure the lead will be over 18mm tomorrow but at least another day for the next one to catch up.

I am honestly a little nervous that he is going to rush it because he is now handling twice the patients.

optimistgardener · November 2021

@walkawaynee in your shoes i would definitely ask about pushing the retrieval out to try to catch at least a few of those littles bringing up the rear!

shortstack930 · November 2021

@acleverusername I really hope that YH's results end up being nothing serious. It's so scary to read results like that without getting any definitive answer yet.

@optimistgardener I hope those last few follicles catch up! Great that your lining has gotten thicker though. What a bummer for your mom to have a CT like that so close to the holidays. I hope it all goes well.

@walkawaynee oh no!! Are they making you get covid tested before your retrieval now?? My RE office is super strict about anything covid. We even had to sign a contract stating we would cancel a cycle if one of us got sick.

@fantasyflyte I totally understand the lack of motivation for natural cycles after so long. Honestly, I was so stressed about going to IVF but it ended up being a bit of a relief to just stop trying naturally and hand it all over to the doctors. Hang in there, friend!

Diagnosis (if you've been): Endometriosis

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Waiting to start FET prep next cycle

How are things going?: Sorry I was MIA last week. Between working a million shifts and then the holiday I didn't have much time to get on here. The good news is I had a repeat beta last week and a consult with the RE and my beta is finally down!! She said we are good to start right away with FET prep as soon as my next cycle starts so I just have to call with a positive OPK next month and then I'll start meds again. In not so great news, DH has been really hating his job lately and it's really starting to affect his mental health. I'm really worried about him and trying to be supportive but I hate seeing him so unhappy. Since he's a teacher he can't just leave mid-year without it looking bad so he pretty much has to stick it out till June and then hopefully transfer to a different school.

Any questions?: Nope

GTKY: Now that (American) Thanksgiving is over, what are your Christmas plans? We always go over to my parents house for Christmas dinner. They live a couple of neighborhoods over so no traveling. I have to work Christmas night so boo.

optimistgardener · November 2021

*gaaaaah* cetrotide is the worst.

hanshotfirst77 · November 2021

@acleverusername I hope everything is okay with your H. That is scary. Hugs.

@optimistgardener I hope all goes well with your mom. Health scares are no fun especially so close to the holidays.

@walkawaynee insurance can be so frustrating. On one hand your grateful for any coverage at all but they make the hoops you have to jump through so crazy and complicated. I hope you can get all the meds you need.

@shortstack930 yay for almost FET time! That wait between betas dropping and being able to start again is always torturous.

Diagnosis (if you've been): Unexplained secondary IF, PCOS, unexplained RPL

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): waiting for FET prep

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): kind of in a holding pattern until FET in January.

How are things going?: well insurance finally came through yay! But due to the way my cycle is going and the holidays FET won’t start until January cycle. But I am excited that all the ducks seem to be lining up.

Also I have been working on weight loss since August and I am almost at my goal weight. So I’m happy to have a little more time to hopefully meet that before doing the FET.

Any questions?: nope

GTKY: Now that (American) Thanksgiving is over, what are your Christmas plans?

Christmas Eve is at my sisters house. And then For the first time ever Christmas Day will just be at home and I’m excited about not having to go anywhere. Also my family is half Jewish and we celebrate Chanukah too. But very non traditionally. We pick a Saturday in December before Christmas and call it Chanukah. But it’s the only time a year the entire family gets together. And it’s my favorite celebration so I’m looking forward to it as last year we had to cancel cause of Covid.

shortstack930 · November 2021

@hanshotfirst77 congrats on the weight loss, that's awesome! Bummer that you can't start FET till January but I'm excited we'll be transferring around the same time!

walkawaynee · November 2021

@hanshotfirst77 yay for ducks lining up for you FET and great job on reaching your goal!!

@optimistgardener what issues/side effects do you have on cetrotide? Has the menopur gotten any better? I seem to be extra fatigued but not sure if that's the meds or just life.

optimistgardener · November 2021

@walkawaynee the cetrotide shot is horrid. first of all, the needle they provide in the kit seems kind of blunt? i'm considering switching over to one of my menopur needles, but the clinic nurse was hesitant about that plan on the basis that the drug company maybe includes that diameter of delivery needle for a reason. but more importantly i get a huge hot red welt after the shot that lasts for about 2 hours. it's several inches across and i get all these raised almost blistery things. it all goes away if you leave it alone but while it lasts it's like having a hornet sting.
if you're fatigued it's definitely the drugs. be gentle with yourself because this combination of meds is a lot to put your body through. I always wind up sleeping a ridiculous amount while on stims. i don't have any real trouble with the menopur shot itself (I believe @kiki047 hates them though), but i'm constantly at risk through stims for nausea, dizzy spells, and headaches. i had an amazing headache the night before thanksgiving. there was no tylenol in the house and so i just suffered through it but i lay there for hours like "i think my head might split open; maybe i should go to urgent care? but what would they even do for me there... and anyway, i don't think it's safe for me to drive rn [rinse and repeat]" and had hot/cold shakes (but normal temp) that seemed a direct pain response.

kiki047 · November 2021

I've been slacking at work this morning and am paying the price this afternoon so just popping my head in for a quick second to give @acleverusername a big hug, sorry about the vague and uncertain results pertaining to YH. That is understandably concerning and worrisome, on top of everything else going on right now. But like others have said, I hope he is part of the 65% that is likely to be benign.

@optimistgardener FWIW, my clinic specifically told me to use the menopur needles and to discard the ones included in the cetrotide box. She said not only are they horrendously blunt, they're also the wrong length for SC shots. That said, it was still awful and I also got some really bad welts and/or stinging/burning for hours after.

@walkawaynee maybe this will apply to you too, but I found it helped me to mix the diluant with the powder for both the cetrotide and menopur like 20-30 mins before I needed it, and just keep it in the fridge or somewhere cool until I was ready to use it. I found that 1. it dissolved better and didn't feel quite as awful when I injected it and 2. the fact that it was cold made it burn less. And also inject it reeeaaaallly exaggeratingly slowly. And keep the skin pinched while you're pushing it in. As for fatigue, I don't know if it was specifically the menopur or just the fact that my ovaries were bursting but I was a walking zombie during stims because I was just so uncomfortable and I felt like all of my energy was diverted to growing follicles so... maybe it's a good sign? Try to get lots of rest, it's good for your cortisol levels and therefore good for your eggs.

walkawaynee · November 2021

@optimistgardener Your experience with Cetrotide sounds horrendous! <knock on wood> I haven't experienced any issues with it so far.

@kiki047 thanks for the tips on Menopur. I have been icing my stomach before which definitely helps but I will use your advice too!

Is it weird that I don't feel bloated at all on day 7? I feel like maybe I am doing something wrong lol

kiki047 · November 2021

@walkawaynee no, not weird, that's probably a good sign. You don't want to be retaining too much water because that can indicate OHSS. I didn't feel uncomfortably bloated until the last few days, even with an AFC of 30+.

optimistgardener · November 2021

@walkawaynee it's not weird that you're not feeling bloated! One of the things about being DOR is that we just grow fewer follicles and so even when they start growing the bloat isn't that bad. Folks with normal ovarian reserve whose ovaries are packed with lots and lots of follicles can start to get really uncomfortable. I do finally start feeling my ovary in the days leading up to retrieval, but it's not worrying if you don't!

walkawaynee · December 2021

@optimistgardener @kiki047 thanks for the reassurance! The nurse asked me about bloating today and said the same thing.

Had monitoring again today, we will likely trigger tomorrow for Saturday retrevial.

My lead follicle is already 22mm so sounds like we are letting that one go. One follicle is 17mm and then there 4 around 10-13mm. My RE did not sound optimistic about this round which is so discouraging. He was initially against letting the lead go but since the others are slow to catch up he said my ovaries made the decision for him. Trying hard to stay positive despite his less than enthusiastic attitude. Normally he is super encouraging so having him sound disappointed today was a difficult contrast.

optimistgardener · December 2021

@walkawaynee it seems like you and i are both facing potentially disappointing cycles this time around, but as i keep trying to tell myself, all of it adds to the potential coins that could flip our direction.

my u/s this morning still showed four follicles above 10mm: 19.5, 15.9, 12.8, and 12mm. there are still 3 more hanging out below 10. the RE is going to have me trigger tonight for a friday morning retrieval. we chatted about letting the big one go and aiming to bring some of those littles on board, but he is worried about the downside of my being on stims for too long, since some of those would probably need another 2-3 days of stims to get to size, and he also convinced me of the merits of a "take what we've got rather than betting on what we might get" mentality under these circumstances. so yeah. this is pretty disappointing, numbers wise, compared with my last retrieval cycle in July, when they collected 8 follicles. if there is an upside, it is still the posssssible argument, put forward by my doc, that the longer, slower growth pattern could mean that these eggs have had more time to "self correct" chromosomal abnormalities compared with my lightening quick cycle last time.

walkawaynee · December 2021

@optimistgardener I am sorry your cycle is as lackluster as mine! My RE said similar about not wanting to bet on what we might get but decided to gamble with one more day since the lead follicle was already close to being over done. Follicle the sake of positive vibes I am going with "it only takes one" and hoping for a Christmas miracle! 🎄

walkawaynee · December 2021

Day 9 of stims: cetrotide is itchy. Not a fan, would not recommend.

optimistgardener · December 2021

@walkawaynee i would say i told you so but it's really so frigging annoying. the others are pretty easy though?

walkawaynee · December 2021

@optimistgardener you can say I told you so, because you did tell me so lol! The blunt needle hasn't been fun but today was my first reaction with welts and itchiness! The other ones haven't been bad.

I am officially triggering tonight for retrevial on Saturday so at least I won't have to do the cetrotide tomorrow!

optimistgardener · December 2021

@walkawaynee my current strategy for trying to keep my hopes up on this round involve reading literature about small follicles. it's true that they are less likely to be mature, but even very small follicles <10mm sometimes turn up mature oocytes and when they do, their fertilization and blast rates are decent. with all those follicles in the 10-13 range, you're likely to get some good ones (with "good" meaning blast quality, euploidy status tbd, of course). i'm probably less likely with my batch of <10mm littles, but i'm not going to give up hope on them yet.

walkawaynee · December 2021

@optimistgardener I appreciate your love of research and ability to find relatable information! I have been researching and reading but seem to come across more things I do t want to hear than things that radiate positivity. Maybe I will just watch Christmas movies between now and Saturday in hopes of absorbing positive vibes? I wish you and your batch of Littles the best of luck tomorrow! (And your not so Littles too!) What are your post retrevial plans? I had DH set up a TV in our room and I downloaded some new books. Since I am not sure how I will feel, I am trying to catch up on house stuff today/tomorrow so I can just spend the day relaxing and snacking after retrevial.

optimistgardener · December 2021

@walkawaynee literally deep-diving in the academic literature is my "escape" strategy a lot of the time. it's what i did last night when i had to kill an hour and not fall asleep before my trigger shot at 11pm. i've learned to be pretty good at ignoring the stuff i don't want to see, however, and I know I'm being selective about what data I take in (special training when you have a loved one with a rare and aggressive illness--you learn to read all the literature but ignore the depressing stuff because it's not going to do you any good). as for your question about my post-retrieval plans, well I too have a date with the couch, and have brought along some lightweight reading and knitting! i'll also probably be haunting this board, because it's what i do. i found that my recovery last time was pretty easy. I was in a bit of pain the day of the retrieval and the day afterwards, but by the day afterwards was fully capable of basic interactions with society, lightweight computer work, etc. the day of retrieval i had significant nausea but that's just my usual response to anesthetic. the clinic have prescribed me some anti-nausea meds in advance this time so hopefully that will be a good solution. i hope your recovery is just also easy and that you get to relax with some good books.

kiki047 · December 2021

Wheeeeewwww this week got away from me, finally done my massive presentation today that I've spent weeks preparing for (remember that summit I had to go to the day after my ER in October? Yeah, this was the next step to present my findings) and I finally feel like I can breathe again.

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS, RPL/RIF, MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WFAF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Like I said, WFAF so I can do my biopsy

How are things going?: Not much else to update on my end except that my RE isn't giving me much confidence right now because he called me out of the blue on Monday night at 9:45pm and I was panicked thinking something bad happened because I'm still just over here WFAF, but no he must've come across my PGT results and didn't think he had called me yet so he just parroted his same spiel almost word for word from the last time he called, which was pretty disappointing because I've never felt like more of a faceless number and that made me miss my old RE who I had a great rapport with. I also asked him if he still wanted me to do the biopsy, and asked for his confirmation on what we're checking for and he said he didn't really know... uhh, what? In any case, still sticking with the same plan, WFAF, go in for my biopsy, then hopefully FET the cycle after that. Currently sitting at 39 days post-ER withdrawal bleed and firmly in limbo.

Any questions?: Other than provera, there isn't really anything I can do to hurry my period along, is there? Wahh. I'm furious with my uterus and whatever the hell she's doing. My RE even asked if I might be KU? Not according to the tests I take every few days but thanks.

GTKY: Now that (American) Thanksgiving is over, what are your Christmas plans? We've slowly started decorating but I'm not really feeling it tbh. We're forcing ourselves to make the house look festive hoping it'll inspire us.
Hosting MH's family on Christmas Day, which is a whole production but every year I try to shave an hour off so I'm hoping we can contain it to just the afternoon and dinner. The first year we did it they showed up at like 10am and were there for 12 hours and all 3 meals and I lost my goddamn mind. Now they can show up at a reasonable hour after lunch, eat dinner, and go home pls and thx. Boxing Day my Aunt is hosting my Mom's side of the family but my brother decided he wants to go galavanting through Europe for the next 3 weeks and will only get home on the 20th (must be nice!). Since he's vaxxed he doesn't have to quarantine but I still don't really want to see him 5-6 days later. Soooo that'll probably blow up in my face, oh joy. Can you tell Christmas stresses me out?

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/l2R0c7Xc0YVwAjTtS/giphy.gif

kiki047 · December 2021

@walkawaynee @optimistgardener sorry you guys have been holding down the fort here on your own this week. Sending you both all the good luck vibes going into your retrievals tomorrow and Saturday. As always, I am keeping everything crossed that you'll come out of it with some happy surprises, but can completely understand the disappointment going into it already feeling let down.

Will be anxiously checking in for updates over the weekend. Take care of yourselves in post-op, I hope recovery is smooth and painless.

walkawaynee · December 2021

@kiki047 ugh, I can't believe you are STILL in WFAF limbo! FX she shows soon. Yay for completing your presentation, I am sure that is a bug weight off your shoulders! DH family is the same way on Christmas day, they start at 10am and spend the entire day together at one house (Thankfully not ours). I am still adjusting to their ways. Thankfully we break to spend time with my parents and it's much more chill there.

@optimistgardener I am barely capable of basic interactions with society on a good day, maybe I should plan to spend two days hiding in bed to be safe.

acleverusername · December 2021

Sorry I've been mostly MIA this week. Work is ... 😵I'll leave it there.

@optimistgardener Good luck with your retrieval tomorrow! I know this round is not as encouraging as last, but hopefully the quality will be better. I am a poster child for quality over quantity, so there you go. PS. Can also confirm that some of my small follicles ended up yielding a mature egg. In our first round, I believe my smallest was 11mm at trigger, and it had an MII oocyte in it.

@walkawaynee I found icing a lot helps with the Cetrotide shot itchiness. I remember that shot bothering me A LOT when I did my ER in 2019, but the ones this year, it has been tolerable, likely because of the ICE ICE BABY! Good luck with the retrieval on Saturday!

@hanshotfirst77 that's awesome about the insurance pre-auth! Finally! And Yay about the weight goal. This is my plan too after I complete my retrieval and before transfers in April-ish.

@shortstack930 that's great to hear about your beta being all the way down. Given that you're in TWW, that means your transfer will be just around the corner! Do you have any lab closures to work around? Do you think you'll be able to transfer in Dec? As for YH, is he seeing a counselor? That really helps. I also think there's nothing wrong about being on meds so, if that's something to consider. But if it's a situational type of thing, then working with a counselor in the short term, until he can transfer to a new school is probably best. There's always a mental health leave option, if that's available to you. Good luck!

AFM, went in for blood work on CD19 (Tuesday), and it showed "no follicular activity." Given that we want to get a retrieval done this year, I've asked for another round of Letrazole, which I started yesterday. So, let's see if my ovaries decided to do something. I have to have my baseline by 12/12 if I am to do a cycle this year, and tbh, that won't even work with my travel plans. So, if I don't baseline by Tuesday, I'll have to punt my retrieval.

We also had our deep dive with the genetic counselor today, and it was super interesting (similar to @optimistgardener's experience). Spoilering in case ppl don't want to read about it.

I'm not sure I learned anything other than the genetic abnormalities are "maternal source, " which she said isn't surprising given there is very few eggs, and lots of sperm to pick from; and the likelihood of picking a genetically abnormal sperm is low. She also said that with our "mosaic-but-actually-normal" embryo (the lab doesn't qualify mosaic embryos; they have a confidence interval), she said that it's definitely still viable, but that would be our last one to transfer. She also didn't recommend we re-test it at another lab pre-transfer because comparing results from different labs can lead more confusion. She did say that if we do end up having to transfer that one, and if it sticks, she would recommend CVS/amniocentesis during pregnancy. And she also said that she recommends the NIPT in all cases of FET, given that even results that are 99% confidence, can be just a chance of having sampled normal cells in the trophectoderm, amongst the few that ARE normal. A trophectoderm biopsy only samples 5% of cells.

The other positive thing, which we already knew, is that our first round was very "lucky" so, overall, our euploidy rates are well above average for the 38-40 yr old group. Natera's DB shows that aneuploidy rates in that age range is 60% and ours is at 37.5%.

acleverusername · December 2021

@kiki047 I missed your update because I started writing mine at 10am, and finished it at 12:30. Thank you back-to-back meetings. Other than feeling like a number at the new clinic, it sounds like your plan is still sound. When might you "pull the trigger" and ask for Provera? Have you done any OPKs or Proov tests to see where in your cycle you might be? Argh. I'm frustrated for you! Do you have any physician friends who can order an E2/P4 test for you? Lol. Also, wtf with your MH's family that first year? Lol. Who would think they're welcome for an entire day AND 3 meals?!?!?! on Christmas?

Forgot to add that we still don't have a biopsy scheduled for MH, and the scheduling service is a mess. There is 1 number to call, but there's only 1 scheduler there that does biopsies. I've called 3 days in a row, and that person has always been on the phone, and DOESN'T HAVE A DIRECT LINE. So I complained to the doctor, and she's like "give them until end of next week... and let me know if you still haven't heard from them?" NEXT WEEK?! You mean 12/10? Like WTF? His test was on 11/24. Am I being unreasonable here? Oh, and, btw, there's a FINE NEEDLE BIOPSY clinic at UCSF where you can have a biopsy if you walk in but NO, the doctor wants to have it done at the Radiology department's biopsy department because of where the nodule is?! Anyways, I've contacted Stanford to see if they can get us in earlier. We'll see.

bows22 · December 2021

@acleverusername I’m sorry that your body is being so frustrating and even more sorry that YH is going through a little scare. That’s so frustrating about the scan, but I guess good that the doctor doesn’t think it needs to be done asap? But I would be the same as you and raising hell to get him in.

@o@optimistgardener good luck today!! Your doctors thoughts made me think of the saying, 1 bird in the hand is better than 2 in the bush (something like that haha). I hope all goes well this morning and can’t wait to hear!!

@w@walkawaynee good luck tomorrow and enjoy your relaxing weekend! Sounds perfect!

@fantasyflyte thats how I feel about cycles on our own now but it’s still worth a shot if you can because you never know

@s@shortstack930 I’m so glad your numbers went to zero on their own and that you are able to jump right back in! That sucks about YH and his job though. I hope he can come up with a way to cope until the end of the school year.

@hanshotfirst77 I’m glad the insurance stuff worked out! And congrats on the weight loss! Sucks you have to wait so long for your FET but at least time should go by quickly with the holidays.

@kiki047 I’m so annoyed at your uterus too! So freaking ridiculous. Also I’m holding out hope that your RE is just over-worked and had a little mini meltdown that night. Luckily you know what’s going on so you can keep him in line.

AFM

Diagnosis (if you've been): unexplained,AMA,endometrial polyps/thickening

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Clomid + IUI

How are things going? I have not been great at participating - I’m hiding from my TTC emotions. But now that it’s O time I can’t hide anymore! IUI is tomorrow which is again not convenient and DH won’t be able to be there for my part but it’s the life of secondary IF and it’s fine.

Any questions? So our instructions are to have sex EOD. For the last 2 months it fell that IUI day was our “EOD” day, so we just had sex that night after the IUI, but this month it’s the opposite and we are supposed to have sex tonight (night before the IUI). Last month, when I scheduled my IUI, the nurse said not to have sex the night before it, but it didn’t matter since we weren’t supposed to anyway. Today I asked and this nurse said that we should. What is normal?

GTKY: Now that (American) Thanksgiving is over, what are your Christmas plans? We have a little road trip/mini vacation planned for the week before Christmas that I’m really looking forward to! And then we do Christmas Eve with DH’s family and Christmas Day with mine.

hanshotfirst77 · December 2021

@optimistgardener good luck in your ER! I’m sorry it’s been a disappointing cycle but I hope that you will be happily surprised. Rooting hard for you!

@walkawaynee good luck on your ER tomorrow!!!

@kiki047 come on Ute! But seriously I hope your cycle comes through soon. The wait is so aggravating which I why I normally turn to provera. That is disheartening about your RE though I hope maybe it was just a bad day.

@acleverusername I hope things pick up so you can get that ER in this year. Fx!!!

@bows22 good luck on your IUI. When I had been TTC with my ex husband our RE always said to abstain the night before. I believe it was so that his sperm count would be better. But I would think if your H has no major sperm issues that it would probably be okay.

Thank you everyone on the weight loss support. It has been a struggle for years with my PCOS and all the fertility drugs and losses. But I finally seemed to find something that is working.

optimistgardener · December 2021

I'm kicking around here waiting to leave for my retrieval and thinking longingly of a tall glass of water because i'm on the no food or water program here.

@bows22 i can sympathize with not wanting to think about ttc stuff. i'm fingers crossed for you guys though this time around!

@acleverusername this is not going to sound helpful at all, but waiting is an unfortunate, shi**y reality of the process you and YH are going through right now. i know it doesn't make it any easier, and you should absolutely push the clinics hard to get the appointments set up asap, but it's also just like... those offices work on different time scales than we do, especially when for the family every passing minute feels important. but i promise you they will get the necessary stuff done and in the larger scheme of (heaven forbid) any possible disease progression, a week will not make a significant difference. as for that biopsy, if they want it to be guided using special imaging because of its location, then it is important that they do that biopsy with the appropriate aids.

It took the better part of a month to get my mom from "woah you've got this huge mass" to "let's see if we can try surgery" and when the surgery was cancelled after they realized she had metastases, it took them almost another month to get her on chemotherapy. and that's with a diagnosis of a highly aggressive cancer. when her cancer returned a year after her second (successful) surgery, it transpired right as covid was first emerging. it took almost 3 months to get from "we see signs of cancer" to "ok let's get her on this new drug and see if it works" in part because they shut down all "non-essential" procedures in the state, which for some utterly effed up reason also included diagnostic procedures for cancer patients. it was unspeakably excruciating but there were no signs of progression during either wait.

Anyhow, none of this, I know, makes the wait feel any easier. But sending a hug and "time passing quickly" vibes your way. I'm holding on firmly to the "odds are in your favor this is something benign" attitude.
@kiki047 your story about the RE calling at 9:45(!!!?) to redeliver old news is bizarre and yeah, i would be concerned as well. Hopefully as others say he was just having a bit of a freak-out and normality will reassert itself soon. i'm so sorry that AF is still mia.

walkawaynee · December 2021

Good luck today @optimistgardener I hope your retrevial yields great results and that your couch is comfy when you get home!

fantasyflyte · December 2021

@optimistgardener thinking of you today and hoping your little follicles come through for you!

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