I think January would be a good time, and all the names mentioned so far would make wonderful admins. I’m sad that I haven’t been able to post on here as much as I would have liked, and I really appreciate all of the work that some of you have already done in keeping this group going strong. My personal preference would be to lean toward giving people the benefit of the doubt in terms of letting them in or not, just because I do think sometimes if these groups get *too* small it can lead to less conversation and then more attrition. But of course everyone’s sense of safety in posting about their children is paramount. My F19 group has been an absolute godsend for me (especially in the awful newborn days, but still very much today as well). I keep hoping that once my crazy new job calms down I will be able to find the time to be more active on here.
@night_nurse I agree that 5 would be a good number. Also, with 5, if someone gets busy, or needs to take a break, or life just comes up, there are still 4 others who can have that responsibility. I've only ever joined like one actually active fb group and at the time they had like 12 admins and it was really hard to keep track of all of the rules and it seemed like there was miscommunications sometimes between them. I think 5 is more manageable. And @Panaceia also came to mind for me immediately. Though, I must say, everyone in the group is extremely supportive and knowledgeable. And so, I'm cool with who ever wants to accept.
January sound great to me. My April 18 group moved over in January (I originally thought it was feb, but I checked my messages and it was late Jan) so early-mid Jan sounds great. @Panaceia is a great choice, along with all the other names thrown out.
We chose 4 admins, and it was a pretty simple process. It was literally the first 4 names thrown out, and they were the moms who really had kept our BMB on track and active. They added the most to the conversations.
The admins chose the names that would move over in the first wave. It was a pretty large group. They messaged us on the bump and asked for our fb names, then gave us the link to the fb page to join. They kept it private for a while, then eventually we went secret once everyone had joined.
Once the first wave was in the fb group, we were able to nominate screen names of some other moms who we felt should be added. The admin created a poll for each of them and we voted. Comments were taken into account, but I think we decided if someone got a majority of yes votes, they were added. I think only 1 or 2 weren’t added in the second wave. I think we added may 6 in the second wave, but like I said, the admin did a great job of adding regulars in the first wave. We of course deleted the polls on fb before we added the second wave, and honestly, I don’t think I could tell you who was in the second wave vs the first bc everyone really meshed so well together and made it such a great group afterward.
Sorry for the long explanation. I just felt like the process worked so well. Those ladies got me though the newborn days, and I owe so much to them. 🥰
@appleblossom8317 I like the sound of that system a lot. Particularly the part about having a clear process laid out for how to let in a second wave (without making members of the first wave uncomfortable). In F19 we never ended up letting in a second wave, I think just because there wasn’t any clear way to get agreement about it, and I felt bad about it, because there were a handful of nice people who had been really active but dropped off in the weeks right before the move, and they never got let in.
Honestly I feel like 99% of our posters here would be in the group. I think it's mostly the one-off posts and people who join or just start posting last minute that I'm more weary of...just because they haven't contributed, haven't gotten to know everyone and we don't really know what their personalities are like...if that makes sense? We don't have a lot of posters as it is so I imagine we should be able to do this all in one shot...and I think all regularly contributing members should have a say in who comes over anyways if there is any question. I feel like admin are just there to make sure things are running smoothly, but that decisions should be made by the group as a whole. I think making the move at some point in January gives people enough time to become part of the group. But I feel like if the more regular posters recognize the screen name then they should probably be included:)
@appleblossom8317 I like the idea of the two waves as well! That way if there are some people who have had limited participation thus far or found the board later, there’s still plenty of time for them to join in.
@Panaceia I agree that the admin role would be best to keep the group running, but that decisions can be made by the group. It is clear from this thread that we have a great group of people who can have a thought-provoking yet respectful discussion.
Sorry it’s been crazy the last 2 weeks. I’m sure that won’t be changing soon. I guess my biggest issue is it’s hard using this app. And I don’t get much time to sit at the computer w 2 crazies running my life. So getting to reply via this app gets hard for me. But I’m down with the majority. I do find it’s much easier for me to pop on fb via app.
I guess I also love having the idea of supporting those who go early.
Lastly, I haven’t looked through all the posts yet. But will there be bump buddies?
I voted March, but I'm fine moving whenever. I'll add that my other BMB Facebook group will review twice a year and remove people who haven't posted in 6 months. We started with only 2 admins and had to add someone after one ghosted. So I think 3 sounds good!
Following to see what bump buddies are!? I haven't commented in a couple days on this subject, but I like the general idea of a mid to late January move and 4-5 admins. @Panaceia for sure as admin! I've never been part of a BMB before, didn't know groups such as these existed and I very much look forward each day to checking in as much as I am able anyways to see what everyone is up to! I love being able to post questions and comments with no fear of judgment or embarrassment. Everyone that I've encountered is so friendly and sweet. I would love to be a part of a FB group continued past this app!
@313Meg are bump buddies the same as birth buddies? 😃 My BMB paired each of us, staggering due dates as much as possible. When I was induced (and when my buddy went into labor), we texted each other. I’d give whatever updates on progress I had and she would give the update to the wider FB group. Just a way to have that individual support and to keep the group updated on baby’s arrival.
@jenis_fan_for_life We had bump buddies in my first BMB...but I was just a lurker so didn't have one myself. If I remember correctly it's basically someone who has a due date different enough from you that you can message and send updates to during labour/while in the hospital and then they can update the group. We didn't have it with my last BMB since we made the move to a secret group on FB before the first baby came, so we just each had our own thread/posts or whatever we were comfortable with for our own births 😁
Like @Panaceia, my BMB moved to fb early enough that we all just made our own post in our fb group. I personally loved being able to report on things myself. However, I wouldn’t be against bump buddies if that’s why the group wanted.
Aw I agree bump buddies sound cool. Since I went at 38 weeks and 4 days with my son, I was nervous if this baby has similar timing and we moved in March that she may already be born. That’s the main reason I voted December or January actually because I wanted to be fairly certain there was enough time to move over before then and get used to the group being on FB. Though if we do bump buddies that mostly takes care of that concern, so I’d be down for whatever is decided.
Also agree with three to five admins for a similar reason of if some of us go early or get busy.
I think January is a great time to transition, I’m willing to bet things will get more active there since it’s more user friendly. Bump buddies seem like an awesome idea!
I think bump buddies sounds like a good idea for support. I honestly would prefer to be in the Facebook group ahead of time and able to provide my own updates. Maybe we could come up with our own variation on the two options.
@Sarah0335 yeah, updating yourself in FB is totally great, too. There was no rule we HAD to rely on our birth buddy to communicate those details. It was really just another support option. In reality, my birth buddy went into the labor the same day I was induced so we were both checking in with each other throughout the days and sporadically updating the larger group whenever we needed that distraction. She and I were both FTMs so that was special, too, just having that text connection with another mama who is experiencing everything for the first time.
@Panaceia we did the same as you..we each just posted our own thread. My last labour, I emailed the grandparents that we were on our way to the hospital to have the baby, and didn't even think about my phone for the next nearly 24 hours lol. I could happily update for someone else as their buddy, but I can imagine I'll be too focused on the pain again, and won't be touching my phone to update anyone during my own process 😅
@goldfishcraker Totally agree! Honestly I don't touch my phone during the time I'm in the hospital. Honestly with DD2 I didn't even start my own thread. Just posted a pic in the daily thread after we were home and settled. Definitely happy to post updates for other people though!
@Panaceia yea! I didn't even remember my phone existed until DH left the hospital for the night at 11:30 pm. DS had been born 12 hours earlier. And I was like oh! I should tell people 😅
I used my phone minimally in labor with DS. Mainly because I couldn’t sleep, had an epidural in, and didn’t want to just glare enviously at DH as he snored on. lol I was mostly watching videos or listening to music, though.
I used my phone a lot at the hospital. But that’s because I was induced and then had a very stop-and-start labor experience and then a c section. I was in the hospital for 4 nights (first night was induction) so had a fair amount of time. But it really varies by mama. Some folks are in and out, some folks will have longer stays but not want the phone distraction, and some folks will want to connect throughout their experience. It was definitely nice to have a solid FB group before babies started showing up so everyone could experience the level of connection/support that best encouraged them.
@rachelredhead Totally agree! I loved seeing all the updates throughout labour! And even now with people in my last BMB having new babies I love when they update throughout! My 2nd was an RCS, and because SO lives in a different city at the moment it's the only time I really get to see and talk to him with minimal distractions. But if he's not allowed in this time or if he's allowed to leave and come back I will definitely be on FB with you guys the whole time he's not there!
@rachelredhead oh definitely! Everyone has different experiences and preferences! I was just surprised to realize after the fact, that I had been so consumed by the pain, that I literally forgot my phone existed 😅. Before actually going into labour, I had definitely expected to be texting people to make them not suspicious 😂.
Then again, I also imagined I would be a calm, reasonable human being during labour, who could hold a conversation, and walk the halls to progress things. In reality, the only time I spoke was to beg my husband to "just cut it out of me", and occasional "yes" or "no!" To questions from providers. Oh, and when I freaked out and DEMANDED the nurse check me again, even though she just had 2 min earlier 😅. Otherwise I went probably 9 hours without even speaking
I have learned, I do not communicate when I'm in pain 😂😂
I can’t remember when my last BMB made the switch to Facebook - I think it may have been after the babies were born actually!
It was an open link to join, so about 100 joined, and it was a disaster - lots of conflict and not a supportive environment at all.
One of the more frequent posters made a secret side group, and about 20 of us joined. We’ve been chatting on their daily the last six years, and it has been amazing!
I would likely hold off a bit before joining Facebook if it were to start in December, but late Jan/Feb I’d join
Now that it’s January (Happy New Year!)- let’s start brainstorming ideas to get this Facebook group going.
We need a way for people to get in but I don’t think it’s a good idea to post the link on here- maybe there will be a point person that members message for the link if they are interested.
I didn’t do a selfie pic or anything with my first group- so maybe someone can weigh in on what you’ve done in the past. Take a selfie with a random object (paper towels, toilet paper, kitchen utensil)
Decide on admin. I think consensus is @Panaceia if she is interested, but we can create a poll. 3-5 admins?
I am so ready to move to FB. I feel like I haven't been as active as I want to be partly because I don't want to discuss some things on such an open forum.
With my last BMB we moved to a private group first. Within like a week of being in the private group we had to post a bump picture with our username, the date, and a specific object (we did pineapples haha). I think to be invited to the private group we just had to post that we were interested and you had to get so many likes. I'm not exactly sure the best way to do it if we go to FB first. We moved to FB a month or two after the private group.
It seems like most of the regulars are pretty well known now, so vetting should be pretty easy. At least I hope so haha.
@musicalfamily my last BMB the administrator messaged us individually with the link, I think. And we sent a selfie with the date and our Bump handle, I think. I’m clearly not remembering exactly. 😂 But I agree that posting the link on here is not ideal because it’s best to keep the group to folks who’ve been fairly engaged.
@MusicalFamily another idea is to decide the admins via poll here, then interested members dm the admins on TB, and if approved, the admin dms the member the secret group link. Worked great for my last bmb
@MusicalFamily I am so ready to move to Facebook too. This format is just so cumbersome. I would love to be able to reply directly instead of scrolling up and down on my phone and trying to remember who I am replying to by the time I get to the bottom of the screen with the reply box.
I am still happy to volunteer as an admin, as well. We could also require answering questions to get in to the Facebook group that could be part of the vetting process, such as verifying your bump username and due date and the admins could cross-reference this information for an extra layer of security.
@jenis_fan_for_life I also am looking forward to not having to try to keep up with the format of the bump boards; cumbersome is the perfect word.
I wasn’t in a group like this with my son, so I have no real input as to what would make the transition go smoothly, but I’m happy to help however I can!
I'm happy to move whenever everyone else wants to go. I know we have some potentially early arrivals so I'm sure there are some people who might be eager to make the transition soon...I would imagine.
With my last group people who were interested in joining posted on a specific thread. If they were accepted one of the admin PM'd a link through TB to the secret FB group. Once accepted we had a week to post a bump selfie with a piece of paper that had our user name from here and a specific household object on a thread started in the secret FB group. I liked having access to that thread after we made the switch so I could refer back to it when I was getting used to FB names vs TB names and keeping everyone straight!
I agree that our regulars are pretty well known at this point so I don't think there should be too much trouble making the switch and I'm doubting there should be any drama at this point:)
@jenis_fan_for_life I know you have experience as admin and setting up these types of boards so I know I personally would love if you wanted to set up a secret group for us on FB and once we agree on the admin you could invite the admin (yourself included as one obviously:) and they could get the ball rolling? Then admin could just discuss who to invite on FB and send links in here? If everyone else is ok with this idea of course. Just a thought...
Also, did we come to a concensus on number of admin? I think it sounded like people wanted an unever number...was everyone leaning towards 5? Just to account for attrition etc?
100% for moving whenever. My only question is what if we don’t have the item or food that is decided on? Lol For example we don’t really buy pineapples at my house. Would I be allowed to draw one instead in that instance? Not trying to be weird, just wondering.
Re: Would you like to have a Facebook group now or wait?
Since I went at 38 weeks and 4 days with my son, I was nervous if this baby has similar timing and we moved in March that she may already be born.
That’s the main reason I voted December or January actually because I wanted to be fairly certain there was enough time to move over before then and get used to the group being on FB.
Though if we do bump buddies that mostly takes care of that concern, so I’d be down for whatever is decided.
Also agree with three to five admins for a similar reason of if some of us go early or get busy.
My last labour, I emailed the grandparents that we were on our way to the hospital to have the baby, and didn't even think about my phone for the next nearly 24 hours lol. I could happily update for someone else as their buddy, but I can imagine I'll be too focused on the pain again, and won't be touching my phone to update anyone during my own process 😅
Before actually going into labour, I had definitely expected to be texting people to make them not suspicious 😂.
Then again, I also imagined I would be a calm, reasonable human being during labour, who could hold a conversation, and walk the halls to progress things.
In reality, the only time I spoke was to beg my husband to "just cut it out of me", and occasional "yes" or "no!" To questions from providers. Oh, and when I freaked out and DEMANDED the nurse check me again, even though she just had 2 min earlier 😅.
Otherwise I went probably 9 hours without even speaking
I have learned, I do not communicate when I'm in pain 😂😂
It was an open link to join, so about 100 joined, and it was a disaster - lots of conflict and not a supportive environment at all.
One of the more frequent posters made a secret side group, and about 20 of us joined. We’ve been chatting on their daily the last six years, and it has been amazing!
Decide on admin. I think consensus is @Panaceia if she is interested, but we can create a poll. 3-5 admins?
With my last BMB we moved to a private group first. Within like a week of being in the private group we had to post a bump picture with our username, the date, and a specific object (we did pineapples haha). I think to be invited to the private group we just had to post that we were interested and you had to get so many likes. I'm not exactly sure the best way to do it if we go to FB first. We moved to FB a month or two after the private group.
It seems like most of the regulars are pretty well known now, so vetting should be pretty easy. At least I hope so haha.
I am still happy to volunteer as an admin, as well. We could also require answering questions to get in to the Facebook group that could be part of the vetting process, such as verifying your bump username and due date and the admins could cross-reference this information for an extra layer of security.
With my last group people who were interested in joining posted on a specific thread. If they were accepted one of the admin PM'd a link through TB to the secret FB group. Once accepted we had a week to post a bump selfie with a piece of paper that had our user name from here and a specific household object on a thread started in the secret FB group. I liked having access to that thread after we made the switch so I could refer back to it when I was getting used to FB names vs TB names and keeping everyone straight!
I agree that our regulars are pretty well known at this point so I don't think there should be too much trouble making the switch and I'm doubting there should be any drama at this point:)
@jenis_fan_for_life I know you have experience as admin and setting up these types of boards so I know I personally would love if you wanted to set up a secret group for us on FB and once we agree on the admin you could invite the admin (yourself included as one obviously:) and they could get the ball rolling? Then admin could just discuss who to invite on FB and send links in here? If everyone else is ok with this idea of course. Just a thought...
Also, did we come to a concensus on number of admin? I think it sounded like people wanted an unever number...was everyone leaning towards 5? Just to account for attrition etc?
My only question is what if we don’t have the item or food that is decided on? Lol
For example we don’t really buy pineapples at my house. Would I be allowed to draw one instead in that instance?
Not trying to be weird, just wondering.