Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Carpenter Apprentice and Divorced Advice
<div><a rel="nofollow">knottieae909b937d317e11</a> said:</div>
<div>Hello! So backstory here, just started a carpenter apprenticeship through my local union. First year. So I'm doing school and working on the job doing hands on training as well. A lot of the work is heavy lifting, aerial lifts, working around dust etc using power tools etc. I just start a week ago basically. My only concern is being looked down upon already as a female and then just a few weeks in being pregnant and eventually having restrictions especially when man power is down right now. I'm afraid to get fired or laid off. I know they legally can't but if I can't do the job because of pregnancy then they can let me go.
and second issue Me and my ex husband are divorced as of almost two years now he is active duty navy and we have 3 kids together, 9 7 and 4. I'm a full time single mom full time working mom. My ex is not very involved as he lives in CA till his current enlistment is up which is another two years. We hooked up a month ago as we were trying to work things out, turns out he no longer wanted to work things out and we are not on good terms anymore once again (like barely speaking). Anyways, I just found out I'm pregnant. And given my job and our situation I don't know what to do. I don't know how I'd raise 4 kids alone. And successfully be an apprentice all the while being pregnant. I'm also taking anti depressants (Zoloft), adderral and methimazole (for hyperthyroidism) and lunesta for sleep which I'm worried could hurt the baby. I have NO medical insurance as I'm in limbo with the new job. I'm kind of at a loss of what to do. Abortion makes more sense given my situation but I also never thought I'd be one to do that. I would love any and all advice from anyone please. 😭 I literally took no meds and took all my vitamins and was super natural with my other three planned babies so this is so scary for me!!!! I know this is an extremely personal decision to make but I also am at a loss and would love some advice or words of wisdom or what you would do in this situation??</div>
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QFP Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm sorry you find yourself in such a difficult position.
First things first, breathe. You will find a way through this, even if it doesn't look like it right now. Try calling this number: <span>1-800-712-HELP (4357)
</span>
There are local pregnancy crisis centers that will have a whole host of information and resources available to you, and the people at that number should be able to point you in the right direction for where you live. Being single, between jobs or uninsured is not a reason not to have a baby, or to avoid prenatal care.
If that one doesn't work, these numbers are both open 24hrs:
<span>1-800-848-LOVE
</span><span>1-800-662-2678
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As far as the medications go, I would personally not recommend over the internet anyone to stop taking something that has been prescribed without first talking to a/your doctor***, so I would make that a top priority if I were you. They should be able to get you in touch with Telehealth/Teledoc to have a conversation around your meds.
</span><div class="Spoiler"><span>My initial googling tells me you may need to switch to a different thyroid medication ASAP, but they will also help you weigh the risk/benefits for your ADHD / depression meds.
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<a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.communitypsychiatry.com/is-it-safe-to-take-zoloft-during-pregnancy/" title="Link: https://www.communitypsychiatry.com/is-it-safe-to-take-zoloft-during-pregnancy/">https://www.communitypsychiatry.com/is-it-safe-to-take-zoloft-during-pregnancy/</a>
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.cdc.gov/pregnancy/meds/treatingfortwo/features/keyfinding-ADHD-med-increase.html">https://www.cdc.gov/pregnancy/meds/treatingfortwo/features/keyfinding-ADHD-med-increase.html</a>
<a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.drugs.com/pregnancy/methimazole.html">https://www.drugs.com/pregnancy/methimazole.html</a></div>
<span>Please reach out to any/all of the numbers provided and let us know how it goes! Kudos to you for reaching out in some way shape or form, and I do hope you will find all the resources and support you need. <3 <3 <3 Feel free to PM me as well if you just want to talk / vent.
</span><span>
***
</span><div class="Spoiler"><span>In this case, stopping the Methimazole would be one that I might actually waive this caveat, seeing as it is a Class D. However when it comes to matters of mental health such as depression, anxiety, etc. I recognize that these can cause more severe risk to the well-being and even life of the mother, so that's a different ballgame. Class C is more of a grey area so please do try to speak with a doctor right away.</span></div>
I recommend finding a local planned parenthood/trusted non-biased clinic so you can get information on options and get started on prenatal care if you choose to carry to term to either parent or place for adoption.(A lot of pregnancy crisis centers/numbers can be biased, judgmental, or religion/pro-life based. Unless that’s right for you). A clinic will be able to go over your medications and give you advice about your job and if you need any restrictions. Apply for Medicaid/assistance so you have insurance. There will be resources no matter what you do.
how will this affect your children already here? Etc.
I hope you find peace in whatever you decide. There are forums online dedicated to these decisions where you can find support specific to what you need.
https://www.pregnancyoptions.info/
OP this is your decision to make. Weigh your options and make the best decision for YOUR family and situation. Gather information from reputable sources and doctors and make sure you know your rights in your specific state, as they can vary widely making your decision more or less urgent. If you decide to keep the baby definitely look into what benefits your apprenticeship offers. If it’s through a union, you may be further protected. As someone in a male dominated industry you might be pleasantly surprised in their willingness to accommodate you but document everything as best you can in case it goes south.
<div class="Spoiler">Not that it's any of your business, but I actually had an abortion. Have you? What I wouldn't give to have had someone point me in a different direction at that time. I felt hopeless and scared, and it didn't take much convincing at the time. I had been sexually assaulted, and a guy I was seeing at the time made a very logical argument that I couldn't bring a child into the world that wasn't conceived in love.<span>
</span>You think he wasn't trying to save his own skin? My baby may have been conceived out of a rape, but that was still MY CHILD I gave up. And I will never completely forgive myself for that.
How dare you insinuate that the resources I offered were out of some ulterior motive, political agenda, or anything but genuine care and concern for a woman whose position I can empathize with. I simply offered a shred of the support I was never given. I couldn't see a way out at the time, but I'm sure it was there.</div>
National Life Center/1st Way Life Center
Lifecall - the phone number is actually 800-noabort
The Bump community prides itself on being a fact based community and I hope that extends to all aspects of information.
I had no idea about that part of your life. I can’t imagine how impossibly difficult of a decision it was, but it should be a viable decision none the less. Not an flippant, easy decision. Not a black and white decision, but a choice. And an informed choice needs unbiased information.
I am not sure who appointed anyone to be TB thought police, but last I checked this was a public forum, and as such, there ought to be room for all perspectives and viewpoints to be shared, imho. Mine are not any less valid of resources, simply because they aren't atheist.
<div class="QuoteAuthor"><a href="/profile/knottieae909b937d317e11" class="js-userCard" data-userid="11798424">knottieae909b937d317e11</a> said:</div>
<div class="QuoteText">I appreciate everyone's thoughts and replies! I never thought I would even be in this situation. If my ex husband and I worked things out it would be a much easier choice but given it's me and my three kiddos and now possibly a fourth all on my own while starting a brand new (physical) career is very intimidating. I never thought I'd even be in a situation where I'd be questioning this. I will be looking into the resources and I also emailed my doctor last night and get som medical perspective on everything too I guess. I appreciate any and all advice. This is literally the hardest thing I'll ever have to do.</div>
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So glad to see you come back this morning! Check your inbox, I PMd you.