August 2021 Moms
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PGAL March Check-in
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This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few).
Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning (TW) on this entire thread.
How far along are you? Any milestones?
How are you feeling (physically)?
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)?
Any appointment updates?
Rants/Raves?
Feel free to answer any of the prompts or simply reach out at any point in the month when you are in need of support.
Re: PGAL March Check-in
How far along are you? Any milestones? 14+2 still have one to go (20 week loss)
How are you feeling (physically)? Tired, still nauseous pretty much 24/7, rlp kicking in
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? I was doing ok, then I started lightly spotting again today. It's brown and light, so I just used my doppler and found baby's heartbeat. Just brought back feelings of how I'm not safe and this baby isn't "guaranteed" if that sense.
Any appointment updates? Last appt on 25th went well, none until 18th and both are uneventful.
Rants/Raves? I'm exhausted. I wake between 6-7, can't nap when I'm able to, but by 3:30/4 I have been falling asleep sitting up the past few days. Of course I then do other things like chores, sit on my phone until 9:30/10pm instead of going to bed around 8/8:30.
Oh @Kenneylynn3 I'm so sorry you're spotting, but thank goodness for the doppler!
How far along are you? Any milestones? 16+3 - all milestones passed
How are you feeling (physically)? normal! Some round ligament pain, heaviness, and growth aches (which I refuse to call cramping) but I feel generally fine.
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? Not great. I just know of too many late losses to think I'm out of the woods, even though I'm far past my milestone. I haven't felt movement in a while too, which freaks me out even though intellectually I know that's totally normal at this point. I just want to get to that anatomy scan.
Any appointment updates? A/S 3/25
Rants/Raves? I haven't had an ultrasound since probably 8 weeks? I had an early one after requesting betas, then another a few weeks later, and have only had doppler confirmation at the last two appts. Which, again, I know is normal. It's just frustrating and making me anxious.I just want to see that sweet little face and know baby is doing okay.
How far along are you? Any milestones? 17+4
How are you feeling (physically)? Still nauseous but seems to only be at night or eat something that leaves a sweet aftertaste in my mouth/throat. Hopefully it will end soon!
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? Ugh. Idk. This is a loaded question. How do I feel about the pregnancy? Fine. No issues. But I had a really bad week dealing with my anxiety regarding my husband's cancer. He's in remission but there's a 50/50 shot he passed down one of his mutated genes to the kids. He got it from one of his parents, who got it from one of theirs.. and on and on.. and no one in recent memory in their family history has gotten leukemia so just because the kids could have the gene doesn't mean they'll get leukemia at some point... BUT I've been feeling really guilty about having a third. Like why would I do that, knowing there's a 50/50 chance they could get this gene? My mom said, you can't live your whole life in fear about things.. I just am having a hard time. Hope that made sense. It was kind of a ramble.
Any appointment updates? March 9th I have a regular 4 week check up and then March 19th I think my anatomy scan.
Rants/Raves? Ha. See above.
I'm having the pre-ultrasound anxiety this week. I have my AS on Tuesday. Though I think I can feel movement, I'm just not sure what I'm actually looking for, so that isn't giving me a lot of relief. I'm so worried there will be a heart defect again.
On the plus side, I just saw a post on Facebook that MH will be allowed to go with me. For the first time since the pandemic they're allowing a support person on the high risk floor starting Monday. I was having nightmares about having to call him from the parking lot with bad news again.
I think there are a few others with upcoming AS in our group. I hope you're managing well 💛
@doodlemom131 yay! I am so glad he can go with you. That is great news. I'm sorry that you are feeling anxious leading up to the appointment, but I hope knowing he will be with you helps take the edge off.
AFM, I started to type my check-in last week before my appointment, but never posted it.
How far along are you? 16 weeks today (15 when I originally typed this).
How are you feeling (physically)? Fried. Still so queasy, especially in the evenings. Also heartburn (still stands)
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? I am mostly OK. But I've noticed that my anxiety and playing out negative scenarios in my head have been building ahead of my appointment tomorrow morning (last Friday, now). And even just thinking ahead to my anatomy scan (which hasn't even been booked yet).
So, I had the appointment and it was fine. Baby's heartbeat was great. My doctor said that this was a "very well established pregnancy". She also suggested that I speak to someone, so I've spent the last week looking at therapists in my area (ideally I will have the opportunity to see them in-person at some point). I have found someone that I think might be a good fit, just based on her website and online presence, so I am going to make an initial appointment with her. I kept putting it off because I was justifying it in my head "just get passed your loss milestone, just make it to your private ultrasound, just make it to the second trimester, etc." But every milestone I hit, I wasn't noticing an improvement.
How far along are you? Any milestones? 17 weeks today
How are you feeling (physically)? my back is doing so badly, it's better after acupuncture and seeing a chiropractor (MAGICAL) but it's still really tight, my QL and glutes are so tense but i've been sitting way too much which will hopefully change. other than that i'm ok, getting bumped out but idk how much is baby and what is fibroids so i can't even enjoy looking pregnant
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? not great but i've been worse. the doppler definitely helped, and i'm feeling tiny twinges.
Any appointment updates? i've been dreading my AS and waited to even schedule it, but i finally did and it's on the 30th. i feel like ugh i don't even want to know and be there laying there, i've never just had an uncomplicated ultrasound past 8 weeks. it feels surreal to still be pregnant. i'm happy but i'm realizing i probably won't relax until real viability, if then
Oh and also they have a cyst on their brain, which could be a sign for Edwards but with all the other anatomy looking good, it's all okay. It should resolve itself by 28 weeks. Doc seemed to think it was fine but it made me a little more paranoid. Bah I'm so back and forth trusting the doc that everything is okay but also not trusting.
I just started reading Jessica Tucker's book I had a miscarriage. It's pretty intense but it's a beautiful book. All about bringing Pregnancy and infant loss out of the shadows.
I've decided to go in an get my results.
I know that they aren't 100% accurate as my first daughters came back with a 1/40something chance of downs syndrome, but I'd just like to know so I can breathe or go ahead with panorama.
Canadian health care drives me nuts sometimes...
ETA: Came back with a 1/80 chance of downs so now I wait for the doctor covering for my doctor to call so I can go get the harmony/panorama test.
I'm super frustrated with the clinic. They've had my results since Mar 16th and I saw my OB on March 17th.
@BourbonBiscuits Anxiety sucks! If so far, everything has been okay then focus on that. That past does not dictate what will happen tomorrow! Good luck!
I also showed high risk for tri 21 in this pregnancy and my last. My OB explained really well/calmly/nicely that it just has to do with the way your hormones work out and has nothing to do with much else.
I was a little panicked at first and really regretted saying no to the amnio, but now I'm just existing. Babe is moving around a ton so I'm trying go be happy with that.
I by no means know a lot but here to chat/commiserate together if you want.
We had our anatomy scan yesterday and everything is absolutely perfect. Baby has all the right parts in all the right places and is growing beautifully. And it's a BOY!!