PGAL March Check-in — The Bump
August 2021 Moms

PGAL March Check-in

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few).

Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning (TW) on this entire thread. 

How far along are you? Any milestones?  

How are you feeling (physically)?

How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)?

Any appointment updates? 


Feel free to answer any of the prompts or simply reach out at any point in the month when you are in need of support.

Re: PGAL March Check-in

  • How far along are you? Any milestones?  14+2 still have one to go (20 week loss)

    How are you feeling (physically)? Tired, still nauseous pretty much 24/7, rlp kicking in

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? I was doing ok, then I started lightly spotting again today. It's brown and light, so I just used my doppler and found baby's heartbeat. Just brought back feelings of how I'm not safe and this baby isn't "guaranteed" if that sense.

    Any appointment updates? Last appt on 25th went well, none until 18th and both are uneventful. 

    Rants/Raves? I'm exhausted. I wake between 6-7, can't nap when I'm able to, but by 3:30/4 I have been falling asleep sitting up the past few days. Of course I then do other things like chores, sit on my phone until 9:30/10pm instead of going to bed around 8/8:30.

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  • grogugrogu member
    How far along are you? Any milestones?  14+2 past all milestones 🤞🏻

    How are you feeling (physically)? I tried weaning off diclecton, terrible idea. I'll try again next month. 

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? Actually pretty good for the most part. I find myself getting excited but then it can hit me that like @Kenneylynn3 said that nothing is guaranteed. 

    Any appointment updates? Nothing til Mar 17 for my 16ish week appt then April 6 for my anatomy scan. 

    @Kenneylynn3 I'm sorry you are spotting. It's so scary and I'm glad you've gotten some relief from the doppler. I find that I have been using mine more often than I had "planned" to. 
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  • Oh @Kenneylynn3 I'm so sorry you're spotting, but thank goodness for the doppler!

    How far along are you? Any milestones?  16+3 - all milestones passed

    How are you feeling (physically)? normal! Some round ligament pain, heaviness, and growth aches (which I refuse to call cramping) but I feel generally fine. 

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? Not great. I just know of too many late losses to think I'm out of the woods, even though I'm far past my milestone. I haven't felt movement in a while too, which freaks me out even though intellectually I know that's totally normal at this point. I just want to get to that anatomy scan.

    Any appointment updates? A/S 3/25 

    Rants/Raves? I haven't had an ultrasound since probably 8 weeks? I had an early one after requesting betas, then another a few weeks later, and have only had doppler confirmation at the last two appts. Which, again, I know is normal. It's just frustrating and making me anxious.I just want to see that sweet little face and know baby is doing okay.

  • @BourbonBiscuits I feel the same way. My AS isn't until mid-april, so I have one more doppler appt mid-march and I haven't had an ultrasound since 6.5 weeks. Hopefully the 25th will be here before you know it!

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  • @Kenneylynn3 I hate the spotting.  It makes me so anxious.  It makes me sad that we can't just enjoy our pregnancies with that ignorant bliss!  I hope it stops soon and doesn't come back.

    How far along are you? Any milestones?  17+4

    How are you feeling (physically)?  Still nauseous but seems to only be at night or eat something that leaves a sweet aftertaste in my mouth/throat. Hopefully it will end soon!

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)?  Ugh.  Idk.  This is a loaded question.  How do I feel about the pregnancy? Fine.  No issues.  But I had a really bad week dealing with my anxiety regarding my husband's cancer.  He's in remission but there's a 50/50 shot he passed down one of his mutated genes to the kids.  He got it from one of his parents, who got it from one of theirs.. and on and on.. and no one in recent memory in their family history has gotten leukemia so just because the kids could have the gene doesn't mean they'll get leukemia at some point... BUT I've been feeling really guilty about having a third.  Like why would I do that, knowing there's a 50/50 chance they could get this gene?  My mom said, you can't live your whole life in fear about things.. I just am having a hard time.   Hope that made sense.  It was kind of a ramble.

    Any appointment updates? March 9th I have a regular 4 week check up and then March 19th I think my anatomy scan.

    Rants/Raves?  Ha. See above.  


  • @ladyk127 that sounds like a difficult decision to make having it weigh in your mind. I do agree with your mom in the sense of not living your life in fear. It seems that whenever we are having children there are chances we're taking. Wishing you peace with this. 

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • @Kenneylynn3 Thank you.  Yes, you are right.  There is always something to worry about I guess!


  • @ladyk127 I can relate to this. DW is always stressed she passed down something to LO bc she had several variants of unknown importance in her genetic testing after diagnosis. Like K said I just try to remember we never know what we're getting when we make babies and we have to take it on faith they will be ok. Knowing the genetic risks ahead of time, I'm sure you can get the kiddos tested and then they can monitor as they get older for early detection if they did have the gene. So probably they have a leg up knowing what to look for! I'm sorry for the worry though. ❤️
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerMarried DW <3 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 o:); Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020 
  • @claireloSC I'm going to discuss with the pediatrician at  my daughter's next appt to see what I can do.  At least if I know one or two of them don't have it I can't focus my worry on just one, which might help.  If that makes sense.. I think it's the hormones making it worse right now too, and being stuck inside and just stewing in my anxiety.  But you are all correct, and I appreciate the support from you all.  DH isn't great with that stuff and my mom just doesn't understand what I've been going through.  Thankful for you all!


  • @doodlemom131 yay! I am so glad he can go with you. That is great news. I'm sorry that you are feeling anxious leading up to the appointment, but I hope knowing he will be with you helps take the edge off. 

    AFM, I started to type my check-in last week before my appointment, but never posted it.

    How far along are you? 16 weeks today (15 when I originally typed this). 

    How are you feeling (physically)? Fried. Still so queasy, especially in the evenings. Also heartburn (still stands)

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? I am mostly OK. But I've noticed that my anxiety and playing out negative scenarios in my head have been building ahead of my appointment tomorrow morning (last Friday, now). And even just thinking ahead to my anatomy scan (which hasn't even been booked yet). 

    So, I had the appointment and it was fine. Baby's heartbeat was great. My doctor said that this was a "very well established pregnancy". She also suggested that I speak to someone, so I've spent the last week looking at therapists in my area (ideally I will have the opportunity to see them in-person at some point). I have found someone that I think might be a good fit, just based on her website and online presence, so I am going to make an initial appointment with her. I kept putting it off because I was justifying it in my head "just get passed your loss milestone, just make it to your private ultrasound, just make it to the second trimester, etc." But every milestone I hit, I wasn't noticing an improvement.

  • @pickle-chips Not all therapists will be a good fit for you, so don't be afraid to try someone knew if you don't feel comfortable.  I love therapy.  I think everyone should go to therapy!! I'm glad you're taking steps to take care of your mental health.  Good for you!


  • How far along are you? Any milestones?  17 weeks today

    How are you feeling (physically)? my back is doing so badly, it's better after acupuncture and seeing a chiropractor (MAGICAL) but it's still really tight, my QL and glutes are so tense but i've been sitting way too much which will hopefully change. other than that i'm ok, getting bumped out but idk how much is baby and what is fibroids so i can't even enjoy looking pregnant :( 

    How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? not great but i've been worse. the doppler definitely helped, and i'm feeling tiny twinges. 

    Any appointment updates? i've been dreading my AS and waited to even schedule it, but i finally did and it's on the 30th. i feel like ugh i don't even want to know and be there laying there, i've never just had an uncomplicated ultrasound past 8 weeks. it feels surreal to still be pregnant. i'm happy but i'm realizing i probably won't relax until real viability, if then 

  • @doodlemom131 I’m so glad that all the organs looked good and the NIPT was negative! I’m sorry to hear that there is a cyst, even though it will resolve itself and the doc thinks it’s fine, more that it is something that adds to your stress! Will you go back for another ultrasound? 
  • I've been discharged from the MFM unit so they're obviously confident. I'll have a convo with my OB on Thursday and see what she says regarding another ultrasound. I guess the cysts usually resolve by 28 wks regardless of whether or not there is an abnormality.
  • grogugrogu member
    @doodlemom131 I hope the cyst resolves by your next Ultrasound. Anything abnormal on a scan is anxiety inducing. 

    I just started reading Jessica Tucker's book I had a miscarriage. It's pretty intense but it's a beautiful book. All about bringing Pregnancy and infant loss out of the shadows.
  • @doodlemom131 I do that too, going back and forth on trusting the doctors one minutes and worrying the next.. with EVERYTHING.. not just pregnancy related things.  Anxiety sucks!  Hopefully Thursday brings you some peace and you can put it to bed. 


  • grogugrogu member
    edited March 2021
    I'm having such a rough day. My doctor's office won't give me the two part genetic screening results by phone today, they made me a phone appointment for tomorrow. 
    I've decided to go in an get my results. 
    I know that they aren't 100% accurate as my first daughters came back with a 1/40something chance of downs syndrome, but I'd just like to know so I can breathe or go ahead with panorama. 
    Canadian health care drives me nuts sometimes...

    ETA: Came back with a 1/80 chance of downs so now I wait for the doctor covering for my doctor to call so I can go get the harmony/panorama test. 
  • @grogu I'm sorry you are waiting on doctors. Hoping the best for your test!

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  • grogugrogu member
    @Kenneylynn3 thanks! Just another two weeks of waiting for results on the Harmony test once I can go for bloodwork. 
    I'm super frustrated with the clinic. They've had my results since Mar 16th and I saw my OB on March 17th. 
  • @grogu That's a very frustrating situation. I get that doctors are busy, and see these things all the time but I just wish that they would be just a little bit more understanding. I hope you're able to get your test asap!
  • @grogu that is so frustrating that they’ve been sitting on the results. I hope that the doctor calls you soon and gets things moving much faster. And I hope the next set of tests are all good! 
  • @grogu hope your testing comes back ok! Sorry for the worry and stress and especially the waiting.
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerMarried DW <3 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 o:); Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020 
  • @grogu such a frustrating situation! 

    I have been pretty MIA as life is so hectic. I’m 18+4 today and had an ultrasound to confirm no neural tube defects. I failed the screening test a couple weeks ago. I actually failed this test with my son too and that time the high maternal alpha protein result indicated placenta issues. It’s probably the same thing this time. Baby’s growth is ok for now but I’m pretty scared it’s slowing down. Baby had a cyst in brain but apparently that’s not uncommon and should resolve. Ugh. Pregnancy is mentally so stressful for me. Just 22 weeks to go..... 
  • AS coming up tomorrow and I'm of course so anxious I can hardly even think about it. Back in the cycle of assuming doom and gloom ...
  • @obsessedwithoranges Someone else just said their baby has a cyst in the brain as well.  I don't remember who, but I believe they said they usually resolve on their by like 28? weeks.  
    @BourbonBiscuits Anxiety sucks!  If so far, everything has been okay then focus on that.  That past does not dictate what will happen tomorrow! Good luck!


  • @obsessedwithoranges @ladyk127 someone else definitely mentioned a cyst on the brain! And mentioned that it happened with a previous baby too, IIRC?
  • @doodlemom131 (I’m speaking for you 😅) mentioned a cyst found at her scan in this thread just above, her doctor told her it should resolve by 28 weeks.
  • @BourbonBiscuits i hear you on assuming doom and gloom. i feel like i was doing ok for a few weeks after the nipt but just in the past few days AS anxiety is hitting. I still have 2.5 weeks until the test and i kind of want to see if the scheduler will bump it up sooner...
  • @BourbonBiscuits thinking of you today and sending you good AS vibes! I hope you are able to enjoy some time looking at bébé. 
  • Wow. I just saw that New Zealand voted for 3 days paid leave for women and their partners after a miscarriage or loss of any kind. It's not much, but that's a huge step!
  • @BourbonBiscuits hooray! I am so glad the scan went well. Congrats!!
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