I think that the benefit of a private bump group is that it can be accessed by internet strangers. People usually feel more comfortable posting personal things. We can get to know each other better in a private group and then make a move to FB.
Edited to add- I’m fine with either doing a private group or moving to FB.
FB is good for me. I deactivate every so often to get a little break (no self control, otherwise) but I am always back.
Re: nurseries, I plan on doing some work on ours this week. I have been bogged down in interview prep and follow up, grad-school work, and vehicle purchasing. I finally have a good window of free time on Wednesday
Married August 2010 DD1 August 2011 DD2 August 2013 DD3 February 2017
Back with DS1 in 2016, we moved to a private FB group after the babies were born ad I don't think private groups in TB existed back then. I'd rather do FB as I can't access the discussion group on TB app which is annoying. 🙃
Thank you to everyone for the family drama support. I got sleep last night, but don't think this is over- when I cut her out, I didn't give really any details to family about why, and now I think I'm going to have to. She's had 5 years of saying whatever crap she wants to about me and I don't really care but this latest round is getting too many people involved now. Ugh I hate having to relive the stuff and am nervous people won't believe me bc it's my word vs hers.
I'm all for moving to private. I'd prefer a FB group for just us but would come here for a private group.
I prefer FB. My last group went to FB. We selected admins and then people had to prove themselves before gaining access. We set some ground rules on activity so it was more regulars. It worked well. We did implode in October but had a spin-off into another group that is absolutely wonderful and fantastic.
I think with either way (fb or private group) we should have to do a “prove yourself” photo. My other bmb did a photo that had to include face and bump, bump screen name with date written on a piece of paper, and a random object.
Sounds like people eventually want to end up on Facebook. I will admit, I like the idea of the private Bump group to help with the initial "screening" of people to make sure they were regular contributors. We could do that for a month and then move to Facebook from there? Or is that too much work for one month?
Just thinking the screening could happen for the bump group, then people have some time to become comfortable sharing with the private group before revealing their "secret identity".
~~Signature~~
Me: 36, DH: 38, Together since: 2006, Married: 9/2011 **TW Living Child**
I don’t know much about private bump group and my previous boards went right to fb. I’m up for whatever.
@_orchid_ I am so sorry about your family drama. I cut out my MIL by my husbands choice after we got married and she is the same way saying whatever she wants behind our backs. It sucks but just remember you are the better person and you don’t need to deal with the negativity and anxiety it causes from having a toxic person in your life. I hope things get better for you or you can avoid it as you don’t need the stress either. After cutting my MIL out, my anxiety went way down and it was just better. I feel your pain.
@DoubleUp8 I feel like if there is any comfort issue, then a private BMB might be a better place to start. I do hope that we can migrate to FB sooner than later, but I absolutely understand the internet safety issue!
Me: 32 years old
DH: 33 years old
Married in May 16, 2015
TTC #1 (on and off) since September 2015 DS1 Due 6.7.2021
@_orchid_ I hate the your word against mine especially with narcissistic people because they tend to be so manipulative that most people believe them. I choose to believe that if people were meant to be in my life that they would see through her BS. I hope your family sees through her crap too.
I’m down for a private group first. That’s what we did in my other bump group and then moved to FB once babies were earth side. It worked well bc we had people that just disappeared after giving birth.
@mc0303 that's a good point. I will say I liked being on Facebook for middle of the night feedings. There was usually another mom posting at that time too 😂
~~Signature~~
Me: 36, DH: 38, Together since: 2006, Married: 9/2011 **TW Living Child**
I wouldn’t be opposed to moving to FB before the babies get here. I agree the bump is annoying to use. I don’t mind the idea of doing a private group for a month and the going to FB or just going straight to FB is fine as well.
@dogmom5@sgrn18 thank you for your support. It's been a good 5 years since the last time she pulled crap lol looking forward to this being a distant memory too. Just gotta get through this.
DH had a Drs appt yesterday and potentially has some major medical stuff so is getting more testing done over the next week and a half. Idk how much I'm going to be here to give support in the next bit. Feels like every thing in my life is on fire right now and it just keeps coming. Thankfully enough of our long-distance support system has gotten covid vaccines so we have reinforcements traveling to us - we haven't seen family in a year so just the fact they're coming makes me want to cry with relief. Hoping for the best.
Omg I had a scary moment last night. I was sleeping and woke up really early like 3:00am gasping for air and couldn't breathe. It felt like someone had choked me or was sitting on my chest. I couldn't get a good deep breathe in and I sat up coughing trying to get air. Scared the shit out of me. Felt like I was going to die. Has anyone else ever had this happen to them before?? I hope it doesnt happen again 😕
@_orchid_ I am so sorry for the deluge of bad news recently. I am thinking of you and YH and hoping everything resolved quickly. I’m so happy you’ll finally get reinforcements! I keep crying thinking I’ll finally get some backup too. ❤️❤️
@_orchid_ I am so sorry you are dealing with all of that but glad you have some support on the way. I hope things get easier in the coming weeks/months
@mindyb2019 I haven't had anything that scary happen, but I have definitely been short of breath lately as this baby grows. Were you on your back when you woke up? Maybe wedging a pillow under your side to make sure you can't turn onto your back would help? I think even though you are still pretty tiny the added weight of the bump can be a lot when we lay on our backs. I hope you don't have that happen again!
*TTC History*
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
@mindyb2019 I wake up coughing sometimes and it’s hard to catch my breath and it usually happens when I breath through my mouth (rather than nose) and it dries my throat out something fierce. I find that allergies make it worse. I always sleep with water on my nightstand for that reason and find that taking a sip of water between gasps helps to wet my throat enough to calm down and catch my breath. Not sure if this is the same thing you experienced, but definitely not fun and hopefully doesn’t happen to you again!
@mindyb2019 - Were you lying on your back when you woke up? It could be your blood sugar crashed in the night. That happens to me sometimes and I feel like I can't breath.
@_orchid_ I'm so sorry, I hate when things pile up like that (and I feel like they always do). Glad you're able to get some support
@mindyb2019 I've had some coughing fits, but it mostly has to do with my throat being itchy and dry (the dry air this winter really did me in) and nasal congestion. I also lose my breath really easily if my belly is compacted, like when I bend over. Sleeping on my side seems to work the best, or a modified back position where really I'm more at a 45 degree angle with a pillow under half of my back. I also can't curl up as much as I normally do, so getting used to sleeping straighter
Wheee! I was given a job offer yesterday for one of the 2 jobs I was in the running for. The pay isn't much higher than the other one, which, truth be told I would like more. Now I am in a bit of limbo as I wait to hear from it. If I don't get anything by tomorrow at noon, I plan on submitting my acceptance. Next anxious hurdle: telling my current boss that my last day will be 3/30.
Married August 2010 DD1 August 2011 DD2 August 2013 DD3 February 2017
@_orchid_ I'm so sorry you are going through so much. I hope your family support gets there soon!
@mindyb2019 That is terrifying. I have no experience, but I think I've heard of dreams causing a feeling of paralysis. Could be worth a call to your doctor.
@disgruntled_pelican congratulations!!!! fingers crossed the other job comes through too!
~~Signature~~
Me: 36, DH: 38, Together since: 2006, Married: 9/2011 **TW Living Child**
@disgruntled_pelican yay!! How amazing for you. Congratulations!!! So happy for you. Good Luck.
@marebear15@legallykate To answer your question, yes I believe I did wake up on my back briefly. I dont remember rolling over onto it but must have in the middle of the night. Mostly I lay on my sides so maybe being on my back for God knows how long it was, affected my breathing and I woke up gasping for air. 😕
@mindyb2019 that could be a possibility, sleeping on your back can restrict blood flow. You could get a u-shaped pregnancy pillow. I have found it prevents me from rolling onto my back.
@mindyb2019 - I would try to sleep with two pillows on either side to try to keep yourself from rolling over to your back in your sleep. But you don't have to worry about your baby (not saying you are, it's just a common FTM concern), because your body did exactly what it should have. When the pressure of your uterus pressed on either a major blood vessel or your lungs, your body woke you up so that you could change positions.
Re: Weekly Randoms - Week of 3/7
Edited to add- I’m fine with either doing a private group or moving to FB.
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
Re private group - FB gets my vote. It is way easier for me to keep up with FB than with TB because mobile drives me nuts.
Me: 32 years old
DS1 Due 6.7.2021
Re: nurseries, I plan on doing some work on ours this week. I have been bogged down in interview prep and follow up, grad-school work, and vehicle purchasing. I finally have a good window of free time on Wednesday
DD1
DD2
DD3
I'm all for moving to private. I'd prefer a FB group for just us but would come here for a private group.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
Just thinking the screening could happen for the bump group, then people have some time to become comfortable sharing with the private group before revealing their "secret identity".
**TW Living Child**
BFP 2/2014 - DS - 10/2014
@_orchid_ I am so sorry about your family drama. I cut out my MIL by my husbands choice after we got married and she is the same way saying whatever she wants behind our backs. It sucks but just remember you are the better person and you don’t need to deal with the negativity and anxiety it causes from having a toxic person in your life. I hope things get better for you or you can avoid it as you don’t need the stress either. After cutting my MIL out, my anxiety went way down and it was just better. I feel your pain.
Me: 32 years old
DS1 Due 6.7.2021
**TW Living Child**
BFP 2/2014 - DS - 10/2014
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
Married: 10.2018
DS #1: 06.2014
Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), Emergency C-Section
MC: 03.2017- 5 Weeks
Rainbow DS #2: 07.2018
HG, 19w Fetal Surgery, 24w PPROM, 33w Placental Abruption, Partial Uterine Rupture, Emergency C-Section
NICU, Chronic Kidney Disease
TTC #3: Medically Cleared 12.5.2019, had a bunch of problems and wonky cycles
BFP 10.13.2020 EDD: 6.26.2021
October 2020 TTGP Signature Challenge: Pets in Costumes
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
Married: 10.2018
DS #1: 06.2014
Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), Emergency C-Section
MC: 03.2017- 5 Weeks
Rainbow DS #2: 07.2018
HG, 19w Fetal Surgery, 24w PPROM, 33w Placental Abruption, Partial Uterine Rupture, Emergency C-Section
NICU, Chronic Kidney Disease
TTC #3: Medically Cleared 12.5.2019, had a bunch of problems and wonky cycles
BFP 10.13.2020 EDD: 6.26.2021
October 2020 TTGP Signature Challenge: Pets in Costumes
@dogmom5 @sgrn18 thank you for your support. It's been a good 5 years since the last time she pulled crap lol looking forward to this being a distant memory too. Just gotta get through this.
DH had a Drs appt yesterday and potentially has some major medical stuff so is getting more testing done over the next week and a half. Idk how much I'm going to be here to give support in the next bit. Feels like every thing in my life is on fire right now and it just keeps coming. Thankfully enough of our long-distance support system has gotten covid vaccines so we have reinforcements traveling to us - we haven't seen family in a year so just the fact they're coming makes me want to cry with relief. Hoping for the best.
Me: 32 years old
DS1 Due 6.7.2021
@mindyb2019 I haven't had anything that scary happen, but I have definitely been short of breath lately as this baby grows. Were you on your back when you woke up? Maybe wedging a pillow under your side to make sure you can't turn onto your back would help? I think even though you are still pretty tiny the added weight of the bump can be a lot when we lay on our backs. I hope you don't have that happen again!
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
@mindyb2019 I have never had that happen but I have woken up having a hard time breathing with a baby on my lungs. Sleeping on my side helps
@mindyb2019 I've had some coughing fits, but it mostly has to do with my throat being itchy and dry (the dry air this winter really did me in) and nasal congestion. I also lose my breath really easily if my belly is compacted, like when I bend over. Sleeping on my side seems to work the best, or a modified back position where really I'm more at a 45 degree angle with a pillow under half of my back. I also can't curl up as much as I normally do, so getting used to sleeping straighter
DD1
DD2
DD3
@mindyb2019 That is terrifying. I have no experience, but I think I've heard of dreams causing a feeling of paralysis. Could be worth a call to your doctor.
@disgruntled_pelican congratulations!!!! fingers crossed the other job comes through too!
**TW Living Child**
BFP 2/2014 - DS - 10/2014
@marebear15 @legallykate To answer your question, yes I believe I did wake up on my back briefly. I dont remember rolling over onto it but must have in the middle of the night. Mostly I lay on my sides so maybe being on my back for God knows how long it was, affected my breathing and I woke up gasping for air. 😕
**TW Living Child**
BFP 2/2014 - DS - 10/2014