TTCAL w/o 1/25

fitzfizz · January 2021

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage, selective termination due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Questions?

GTKY: What is your guilty pleasure?

fitzfizz · January 2021

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. TFMR at 22 weeks June 2020 for genetic condition now known to have ~2-5% chance of recurrence, CP Nov 2020

Status: TWW, testing soon

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? I’m terrified to test. Period is due tomorrow so I guess I’ll know soon enough anyway, but I’m scared of all possible outcomes. I’ll obviously be sad if it is negative, but if it is positive I’ll just be wondering how long this one will last. Pregnancy loss really messes with your brain. I’m struggling to even picture a possible good outcome.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just either a period or a pregnancy test in the best two days.

Questions? Stress management ideas?

GTKY: What is your guilty pleasure? Trashy reality TV. I love it. I’m currently watching one of the 90 day fiancé spin-offs and I am fully invested at this point.

gingermama29 · January 2021

@fitzfizz ugh that's so hard. I'm crossing my fingers for a BFP and a sticky embryo for you. Sending hugs.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
1 loss discovered at 7.5 week ultrasound - suspected blighted ovum

Status: Benched/TTA for 2-3 months

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?
I'm mostly doing okay. For my struggle, I'm getting random triggers from a facebook group I'm in which is frustrating because I don't want to leave the group or hide it since 98% of the posts are interesting to me. It's just the occasional posts that have random positive pregnancy tests or sonograms that trigger my pain and grief. For something going well, I got my first COVID vaccine last week and am feeling great. I had a sore arm for about a day and a half but otherwise feel completely normal. I'll get my second shot mid-February. It's comforting to know I'll be as protected as I can be when we're off the bench.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
I finished the meds my doctor prescribed this week and am no longer bleeding or spotting! I'm supposed to follow up with my OB next week for a check up.

Questions? None at the moment

GTKY: What is your guilty pleasure? I'll agree with you @fitzfizz and say trashy reality TV. DH and I have been bingeing old seasons of Big Brother and it is addictive! ANTM is an old guilty pleasure too.

bumblebee0210 · January 2021

@fitzfizz Sorry dude-- that feeling is the worst. I think the only thing you can do is to take it one day at a time. On stress management: I have a great therapist, and the thing she is always repeating (that is helpful but hard to do!) is to try and stay in the present moment as much as possible, because so much of TTC is so intensely future-oriented.

@gingermama29 Congrats on the vaccine! I am v. jealous. And I hear you on the triggers-- in my experience it does get better over time (as with any grief), but it can still get you. I lost identical twins earlier this year, and anything to do with twins really gets me still.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 mmcs most recently Sep 2020, some CPs

Status: CD 2. Womp womp.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Not great. I cried yesterday when my period came (a day early, and I already have a short LP so that also threw me a bit). It's hard not to find this all just exhausting.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? One good thing is that since I am at CD2 now it's time to start all of the RPL testing, so hopefully I can at least get some answers about my future prospects.

Questions?

GTKY: What is your guilty pleasure? I have recently gotten into romance novels, but I was all-on on British love island in the early pandemic days.

inthewoods23 · January 2021

@fitzfizz sending lots of strength your way

I'm sure distractions will be good to keep stress at bay

@gingermama29 so glad you got the vaccine. I have a FB group like that too that has content I like, but sometimes it makes me sad thinking about pregnancies and babies. Hugs friend

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 loss at 8 weeks Oct 2020

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Things are fine, nothing exciting going on. Doing surprisingly well about how long it's taking (which at this point isn't long at all!). I felt a little antsy last cycle. It's only CD6 so there's plenty of time to get antsy ha.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope, won't be starting the OPKs for about a week

Questions? Mmmm no

GTKY: What is your guilty pleasure? I used to be super big into a number of those TLC shows. Competition shows are always good. I think my greatest guilty pleasure amongst all the shows are medical shows like Untold Stories of the ER. I'm just fascinated by that stuff. Every so often I watch a youtuber who reacts to the show Botched which I only get to really watch when I'm traveling for work so watching his reacts satisfies my joy for that. Something not TV related as a guilty pleasure.... I enjoy eating the cake frosting out of the tub

idk why I love it so much but sometimes you just need a sugar kick lol

rgn12 · January 2021

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP @ 5 weeks on 12/26

Status: WFAF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? AF should be here any day now, hopefully! I can’t wait honestly, I’m so ready to start trying again. But I’m also scared to start trying again. The conflicting emotions!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope! Will start OPKs after AF.

Questions? None today!

GTKY: What is your guilty pleasure? I am super embarrassed to confess that I kept up with Teen Mom OG for many years after it first aired. 🙈 I think it started when I was a freshman in college. I haven’t kept up with it consistently in the last few years, but I definitely continued watching it longer than I should have for a while there.... hahaha! 🤣

rgn12 · January 2021

@fitzfizz - For stress management, any self-care ideas? Doing something for yourself that you enjoy? I know that’s hard because of covid and stuff, but anything to get your mind off of what’s going on while also boosting your mood a little bit. Thinking about you! ❤️

sienna221 · January 2021

@fitzfizz Ugh, I'm sorry you are struggling. It really does mess with your brain and I'm not really sure how to deal with that either. My only real effective way of managing stress/anxiety is working out. I'm trying out meditating this month (one of my new years resolutions) but I think I'm still new to it and learning, so still seeing if that one is going to help. But I'm crossing all fingers for you and these upcoming tests.

@gingermama29 So glad to hear you are done bleeding and spotting! It's so nice to be done with that part and feel like you are a little closer to your body (at least physically) putting that chapter behind you. And I feel you about being triggered. I'm in a group text with girls I grew up with that all live back on the East coast and pregnancies are mentioned frequently and, even though most don't know my situation, I still get so annoyed when they send the pregnancy emoji about themselves and say random things about "pregnancy life".

@bumblebee0210 Sorry AF came early. But will also nice to get all the RPL testing done so this cycle you maybe have answers and can feel ready and prepared for this FW.

@inthewoods23 I am also antsy...so ready to start testing with OPKs even though its only CD6...I guess I'll hold off another week haha.

@rgn12 I'll be so happy for you when AF returns! And I'm going through all those same emotions right now...happy it returned but scared that actually means I can start trying and what if it happens again.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC October 2020...MC or RPOC December 2020

Status: WTO -- CD6

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? I'm doing okay right now. Already getting antsy for FW and already dreading the anxiousness of the TWW. I already bought a new box of CB Digital OPKs, CB Digital HPTs, FRERs...and I still have my Pregmate OPKs and HPTs. I think this preparation is my way of having some control when basically everything recently in TTC has been out of my control.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I'm still waiting on all my test results to come back. I think the karyotype testing results is supposed to be back 1/26 based on what my OB said. But when I called to pay the patient price the other day, Invitate said they didn't have a date. And all the other testing from my OB (TSH, LA, and blood clot stuff) showed up as a claim on my insurance so hoping that means they will be calling this week with results. I'd really like to get all those results before O in case there is some step I need to take. But then also so anxious they'll come back and, based on some result, tell me I need to bench myself for something.

Questions? So many yet none come to mind.

GTKY: What is your guilty pleasure? I'm also jumping on the trashy tv as my answer! Most of the bravo shows. And specifically I'm really loving the Real Housewives of SLC recently.

gingermama29 · January 2021

@bumblebee0210 so sorry AF showed up. I hope the testing gives you some answers. Do you have any of that scheduled yet?

@inthewoods23 hopefully the antsy feeling stays away. Glad things are going well right now.

@rgn12 FX AF shows up asap so you can get started again.

@sienna221 you definitely sound well prepared. I totally get that mindset. It's nice to have something we can control amid everything. FX you get your results tomorrow!

mac-n-cheesy · January 2021

I’m Lyndsay, had a MC Sept 2020 at 10 weeks. Growth was slow and HR was slow as well. No known fertility issues, just AMA @ 35 and a half.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

Things are going just ok. This is the second month we have TTCAL. We use OPK (Premom) and time BD off that. Having a lot of fear over getting pregnant again and suffering another loss vs. happiness of trying again.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

in TWW: ovulated on the 1-21-21 and had some faint pink spotting today. The wait is hard.

Questions?
Just trying to figure out what this pink spotting is because I’m only 5 DPO.

GTKY: What is your guilty pleasure?
Summer House today. (Bravo)

fitzfizz · January 2021

@gingermama29 I’m so excited for you that you got the vaccine! I can confirm that it feels like a magic superpower knowing you are most likely immune. I’m still doing my same precautions, but much less anxiety overall. And yeah, the post-loss triggers get you. I basically got off Facebook as it became one giant trigger. It’s the out of the blue maternity shop email and other unavoidable ads that get me the most now.

@bumblebee0210 Sorry about CD2. Coming early is such a kick in the pants. Staying in the present is definitely good advice. I am constantly fixated on the future and it definitely isn’t helping. Regarding British romance novels, I love them too! I love that Bridgerton has gone mainstream but is basically the classic harlequin romance novel in Netflix series form.

@inthewoods23 Who is the YouTuber reacting to botched? That sounds like a good distraction haha

@rgn12 The anxiety about starting again is so real. I ended up taking the month off after my CP for a couple reasons and it was the right choice for my mental health for sure. I have been really wanting to get a massage for a distraction and some self care, but...freakin COVID.

@sienna221 With wanting results before O I would be a squeaky wheel. I can tell you that I get behind sometimes with results at work, but if people ask about it I always try to get them their results first. And my genetic testing company was different, but on two different occasions I missed out of FW because they messed up from a billing perspective and I didn’t get results on time. Basically I’m recommending bothering people until you get your results. I could see maybe not wanting to do that with your doctor if you don’t want to be annoying, but definitely do it with Invitae!

@lindsayem35 Welcome and sorry you find yourself here. Feel free to also intro in the newbie thread if you want to hang around more. Sorry you are feeling stressed about trying again. Loss definitely sucks a lot of joy out of this process.

AFM: I went for a short run after work and did some drawing while watching trash reality TV last night. I’m calling it self care haha. Period is due today and I’m testing after work if it does not arrive. Hopefully if this is positive I don’t end up needing to come back here!

inthewoods23 · January 2021

@bumblebee0210 GL with your testing. Hope you find some answers

@rgn12 come on AF!

@sienna221 I hope you get your test results today. The waiting sucks. We're in the lame part of our cycle where there's nothing to do. No dealing with AF but not late enough to have OPK tests occupying our schedules lol.

@lyndsayem35 welcome! Sorry that you're here, but the ladies in this thread are a great support system.

@fitzfizz his name is Anthony Youn, he's a plastic surgeon. He reacts to a number of plastic surgery things and has also done a couple episodes of My 600lb Life.

rgn12 · January 2021

@inthewoods23 yes, please hurry up AF! I was super irritable with my hubby this morning, so that has to be a good sign, right? 🤣

sienna221 · January 2021

Does anyone take baby aspirin during the TWW? I’ve read about the pros but does anyone know what the cons/harm could be?

bumblebee0210 · January 2021

@_orchid_ if you are lurking maybe you can weigh in on the baby aspirin?

demimondaine · January 2021

@sienna221 I just started baby aspirin as I finished mucinex. I had a CP last month.

kiki047 · January 2021

*lurking*
@sienna221 I'm no doctor but the only risk I knew of while taking the baby aspirin is risk of spotting through the TWW. I have always been on it throughout my FP and LP for frozen embryo transfer cycles because of the benefits for your uterine lining and/or implantation, as well as the effects for any (potentially undiagnosed) blood clotting disorders, but when I've had breakthrough bleeding or spotting at any point in my cycle my RE has taken me off of it but otherwise I think it's fairly safe. You may get some more feedback on your question if you put it in the general CS/Questions thread, unless you think your Q is pertinent to those who have experienced a loss.

rgn12 · January 2021

Y’all, AF came! So excited! I literally cannot talk about this anywhere else, so appreciate having this space to share in my excitement! 🤣

Lisa3379 · January 2021

Hi, I'm Lisa... let's see. TFMR @ 15 weeks back in April 2020, then MC in November 2020. I'm currently on cycle 3 since that, but needless to say we've been trying for a baby for a year now.

Status: WTO, cycle day 4, on my first IVF cycle

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Things are going ok. Got my first injections yesterday and have done two days of Clomid, and so far no real side effects. I guess I'm trying my best to be optimistic. What's funny is I went into this IVF stuff after an initial consult with a doctor and that's about it, and I've been doing more reading about all that goes on almost literally as I do it. As I do more reading, I get more apprehensive. I'm almost 39, and I'm pretty sure this will be our one and only egg retrieval.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I have an ultrasound tomorrow to check how the drugs are working, I guess. Then a bunch of blood work, including a third round of genetic testing. Ugh.

Questions? Not really.

GTKY: What is your guilty pleasure? The Bachelor/Bachelorette. A few months ago I binged almost all of the seasons of each, including Australia and NZ, on HBO Max. So addictive.

inthewoods23 · January 2021

@rgn12 I can count 3, maybe 4 times that I've been so excited for AF to arrive haha yay!

@Lisa3379 I'm curious, what prompted you to jump straight to IVF? Is it due to the genetic factors?

Lisa3379 · January 2021

TW: mention of children

@inthewoods23 Sure. I'm going to be 39 in a couple days, so we feel like time is really ticking for us. The past year has been demoralizing and exhausting, to say the least. But because of the TMFR, we're really worried of having that happen again, whether or not it's all that likely, so getting genetic testing done on any embryos we can will help alleviate that worry. Lastly, and most trivially, we already have two boys, so if we could, choosing a girl would be awesome. But again, so far down the list of concerns. All we want is a healthy baby before we can't

inthewoods23 · January 2021

@Lisa3379 understandable! I know when it's likely to happen again or pretty severe they often recommend IVF so that only normal embryos are used. And I totally get you on the option to choose. We chose a boy embryo for a few reasons when we did IVF/FET. It's funny because I remember when that first started becoming a thing and the controversy in selecting the sex yet there I was, choosing that option like it was selecting a product in a store.

bumblebee0210 · January 2021

@Lisa3379 Welcome! I am also curious about this as I have just started RPL testing, but my RE sort of hinted that the likely choice we will be facing is IVF or nothing, since we don't really have subfertility (though I worry we may have an egg quality problem). Jumping into IVF is a little terrifying, but it also seems nice to have some control?

Lisa3379 · January 2021

@inthewoods23 Totally, it does feel a little weird to say "we're choosing a girl". If it was my first kid, I don't know what I would choose. I feel like I'd be paralyzed by that decision.

@bumblebee0210 We went into fertility treatment not knowing all the different options, and after speaking with our doctor, he suggested that going to IVF and bypassing IUI and all that might be the best option. I can't remember why he said IUI wasn't what he'd consider for us... anyway. Yeah, it does feel nice having some control for sure. Months and months of peeing on OPKs and pregnancy tests, only to be disappointed and frustrated (did I OPK enough? Did we have sex enough? Maybe twice in two days wasn't right, etc) has just been exhausting. I was terrified of IVF at first but I'm pretty happy we're doing it.

sienna221 · January 2021

So I got all my tests results back. Karyotype normal. Anticardiolipin normal. TSH normal. Lupus Anticoagulant normal. Sooo....I guess good news but also no answers.

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