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June 2021 Moms
angelz429
member
Maternity Leave
angelz429
member
As we’re crossing into 2nd tri, I’m sure we’re starting to share with our employers and thinking about leave.
I know not all of us are in the US (which, good for you because the US can’t get its shit together in this regard), so this may not apply to you.
However, I wanted to share my experience and something I never thought of before someone else told me to do it.
When I had my son, I was 24 and poor. I was working full time while applying for medical school. So I took 8 weeks off, 6 unpaid, and literally lived off credit cards and my husband’s side gigs, wic and food stamps. Went back full time after that and the abrupt transition was HARD.
With my daughter, I was 30, in residency (post medical school training), still poor, but paid better (ie not on wic or food stamps anymore) and was planning on taking my 2 weeks parental leave plus 3 weeks vacation time lumped together, and stacking on my sick days to scrounge up 6 weeks of leave.
I ended up doing that, but also taking additional time off unpaid. So I did 6 weeks completely off and then went back part time - worked 3 days per week for 2 months before going back full time.
The transition from full time mom to part time employee to full time employee was so much smoother than it had been with my oldest. I felt ready and prepared. Like it wasn’t all just waiting for me and trying to do it all while sleep deprived.
For us in the US, your 12 weeks FLMA can be taken however you want. So if you want 8 weeks off then use the remaining 20 days part time, or 10 weeks off then 10 days part time (2 days off per week would be 5 weeks part time), I highly recommend this!
does this make sense?
Luckily, as an attending physician at this time in my life, and where I work, there are new rules. I get 12 weeks paid time off, but can take an additional 1 month using my own accrued leave. I plan to take 12 weeks off then come back part time for 8 or 9 additional weeks (working 3 days per week). Which just really makes me want to cry with the opportunity. Which is ridiculous because other countries do much better/longer paid parental leave, but seriously, this is the best I have gotten and I’m excited for this.
does this make sense?
Luckily, as an attending physician at this time in my life, and where I work, there are new rules. I get 12 weeks paid time off, but can take an additional 1 month using my own accrued leave. I plan to take 12 weeks off then come back part time for 8 or 9 additional weeks (working 3 days per week). Which just really makes me want to cry with the opportunity. Which is ridiculous because other countries do much better/longer paid parental leave, but seriously, this is the best I have gotten and I’m excited for this.
Re: Maternity Leave
AFM, I'm planning on doing the same thing I've done the other two times. Stack my PTO, vacation, and sick time to give myself about 4 weeks paid and 2 weeks unpaid, and come back to work at 6 weeks PP. I've been part time (30 hours) since baby #2, so it isn't terrible.
I'm kind of on the fence about just taking 12 weeks or going back part time after about 9-10 weeks. I'm really only considering it because there is no back-up for my job and I know it will be a huge strain on my boss to have me out that long. Of course on the other hand I keep thinking it wasn't my decision to cut staff a year ago and get rid of the person who was my back-up so why should I change my plans to accommodate! Ah, to be a team player or not....
My SO is a teacher so he will be on summer vacation when the baby is born and won't have to worry about taking any time off.
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
I just told my superiors last week that I’m going to have a big “scheduling conflict” in June, and they took the hint and were very supportive. I normally work from home 3 days a week, in the office for two, so I’m hoping when leave ends (12 weeks paid) I can continue full time knowing I will be close to home and nanny or daycare while at home. There is a chance I could do permanent work from home, or perhaps a part time schedule but it is not very common where I work. So a lot to learn and going to take it day by day, but I am very happy that maternity leave will fall over summer time!
DD1
DD2
DD3
But my boss said I can bring the baby to work if I want so I'll probably be doing that too
My first pregnancy I had 10 weeks paid leave then I took 2 weeks PTO to complete 12 weeks.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
@tilournextadventure Could they maybe give you your leave in advance, under an agreement that you'll continue to work for them for X period of time afterwards (I'd assume the full year + 12 weeks)? Not quite the same thing, but I had a friend who caught E.coli while in training for her first job and had no leave to speak of. They gave her leave in advance so she'd still get paid, but she had to work with them long enough to accrue the leave she took or pay it back.
I honestly feel pretty lucky because in WA State, FMLA pays 90% of your salary for 12 weeks (more for c-sections) for both parents, plus DH has 4 weeks with full pay through work right after the baby is born. So, we will take our FMLA leave one after the other, so one of us will be staying home with the baby for a total of 6 months.
Me: 32 years old
DS1 Due 6.7.2021
So I actually just called my boss and told him. He encouraged me to just plan to take the whole 12 weeks in a lump and said I could change plans later. I'm so glad he's being so supportive! I was really nervous to tell him for a whole bunch of reasons, but he is definitely on team baby!
Thanks for sending along experiences, that helps me feel more confident that I can knock this out. I'll keep you posted.
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
With DD I used up almost all of my leave to take 10 weeks paid and two weeks unpaid with a couple PT weeks back at first. I also thought I’d have to work right up until I went to labor. My BP went up and I had to go on leave early and I resented it. This time I’d rather plan being done working sooner and use my leave.
The IRS gets a bad rap, but some of the jobs there sound fascinating. I'm also trying to convince my husband to go into the government so he'd get better vacation time and other benefits, but he doesn't listen to me.
so the 12 weeks maternity leave starts the day of birth. So you can take FLMA for 12 weeks starting before birth, but you essentially lose free days off and have to use your accrued leave before and you lose that many days on the paid maternity, as that only covers to the 12 weeks FMLA.
After the FMLA, you can use your own leave (sick or AL) up to an additional 4 weeks (if you’re not a supervisor). After you come back, you have to stay with the government for at least an additional 12 weeks. (It just makes sure you don’t take your leave then peace out).
We are scheduled to go back in person in January, so I'm a little nervous about using my accrued sick time with covid quarantines. I only have ~30 days accrued since my maternity leave 4 years ago, and I think I'll be required to use those days if I'm exposed to covid at work and need to quarantine. Really hoping to be able to keep 20 days for the fall.
@angelz429 so childbirth is “qualifying event” that starts the one year clock to use FMLA, but I’m not sure we’re required to evoke FMLA right away after the baby’s born? With DD I used sick leave I had for the first couple weeks and then evoked FMLA in order to use my annual leave/ advanced annual leave/ some LWOP for the rest.
I will probably go back after 9-9.5 weeks so I can save several days of vacation for the rest of the year. Our fiscal year is July 1-June 30. I am a little bummed because if this was a early May or late April baby I could use this year's vacation and next year's vacation. But I am just happy this little guy is coming.
I am crossing my fingers that they might let me work remotely when I first come back so we can keep the baby out of daycare as long as possible. DH plans to take most of his leave at the end of mine (he gets a few weeks so maybe 1 week at the start and 2 weeks after mine), so if I was remote, I could still nurse the baby for a few more weeks and put off the dreaded pumping. Also, I am excited to be going back to an office, so I do not need to go to a designated space somewhere else to pump.
**TW Living Child**
BFP 2/2014 - DS - 10/2014