Maternity Leave

angelz429

As we’re crossing into 2nd tri, I’m sure we’re starting to share with our employers and thinking about leave. 

I know not all of us are in the US (which, good for you because the US can’t get its shit together in this regard), so this may not apply to you. 

However, I wanted to share my experience and something I never thought of before someone else told me to do it. 

When I had my son, I was 24 and poor. I was working full time while applying for medical school. So I took 8 weeks off, 6 unpaid, and literally lived off credit cards and my husband’s side gigs, wic and food stamps. Went back full time after that and the abrupt transition was HARD. 

With my daughter, I was 30, in residency (post medical school training), still poor, but paid better (ie not on wic or food stamps anymore) and was planning on taking my 2 weeks parental leave plus 3 weeks vacation time lumped together, and stacking on my sick days to scrounge up 6 weeks of leave. 

I ended up doing that, but also taking additional time off unpaid. So I did 6 weeks completely off and then went back part time - worked 3 days per week for 2 months before going back full time. 

The transition from full time mom to part time employee to full time employee was so much smoother than it had been with my oldest. I felt ready and prepared. Like it wasn’t all just waiting for me and trying to do it all while sleep deprived. 

For us in the US, your 12 weeks FLMA can be taken however you want. So if you want 8 weeks off then use the remaining 20 days part time, or 10 weeks off then 10 days part time (2 days off per week would be 5 weeks part time), I highly recommend this!

does this make sense?

Luckily, as an attending physician at this time in my life, and where I work, there are new rules. I get 12 weeks paid time off, but can take an additional 1 month using my own accrued leave. I plan to take 12 weeks off then come back part time for 8 or 9 additional weeks (working 3 days per week). Which just really makes me want to cry with the opportunity. Which is ridiculous because other countries do much better/longer paid parental leave, but seriously, this is the best I have gotten and I’m excited for this. 

sgrn18

We just started discussing this and MH gets literally the same amount I get... when I’m the one having a c section... either way I like the coming back part time for a few weeks.  I’ll get 16 weeks off (12 of fmla and 4 pto or unpaid depending on finances) and MH will likely take off 4 weeks after I’m working again.  I’d like to ideally get the baby to a flu shot before he starts daycare but that probably won’t work out.  I’m having a hard time between wanting to be a SAHM (which I’ve always wanted) and keeping my job which is seriously the best team of nurses I’ve ever worked with.  It would be hard to leave them. 

You’re right, the US sucks when it comes to parental leave. 

marebear15

@angelz429 - Wow, you do have an amazing maternity leave this time around (so sad having to say that compared to other countries). 

AFM, I'm planning on doing the same thing I've done the other two times. Stack my PTO, vacation, and sick time to give myself about 4 weeks paid and 2 weeks unpaid, and come back to work at 6 weeks PP. I've been part time (30 hours) since baby #2, so it isn't terrible.

angelz429

@marebear15 I’m so sorry that you have to use all your leave (which Bc maternity leave is NOT a vacation or restful) and take unpaid time off on top of that. It sucks a lot. I’m sorry. 

ellieemc26

I just looked into our leave policies last week as I'm planning to tell my boss this week.  We can take up to 12 weeks with FMLA, get 2 weeks of maternity leave paid at 60% and 6 weeks on short-term disability paid at 60% (unless c-section which gives you 8).  I then have to supplement the other 40% of pay and extra 4 weeks with my sick/vacation time.  Fortunately I've been working at my company for a long time and I don't get sick very much so I've got over 40 weeks of sick time accumulated which will be more than sufficient to cover it (up until a year ago sick time accruals were unlimited so I got to keep everything I had).  I realized I'm pretty lucky to be sitting where I am, a lot of other employees wouldn't have the ability to take the full 12 with the way this is set up now.  What a bummer.

I'm kind of on the fence about just taking 12 weeks or going back part time after about 9-10 weeks.  I'm really only considering it because there is no back-up for my job and I know it will be a huge strain on my boss to have me out that long.  Of course on the other hand I keep thinking it wasn't my decision to cut staff a year ago and get rid of the person who was my back-up so why should I change my plans to accommodate!  Ah, to be a team player or not....

My SO is a teacher so he will be on summer vacation when the baby is born and won't have to worry about taking any time off.

legallykate

I am super fortunate in that my employer has a really competitive leave policy (18 weeks paid) but I am also planning on going to part time (75%) when I go back and am struggling with when to notify my employer of that. I feel kind of guilty getting paid 100% for that long to then go back PT immediately, so I might go back FT and then ask to go PT at the beginning of 2022. But does 2-3 months really make that much of a difference? Hopefully I will get some clarity between now and then. 

ashleyjillian15

@legallykate wow that is an amazing parental leave policy! I really appreciate employers who see the value in investing in their employees well being.

I just told my superiors last week that I’m going to have a big “scheduling conflict” in June, and they took the hint and were very supportive.  I normally work from home 3 days a week, in the office for two, so I’m hoping when leave ends (12 weeks paid) I can continue full time knowing I will be close to home and nanny or daycare while at home. There is a chance I could do permanent work from home, or perhaps a part time schedule but it is not very common where I work. So a lot to learn and going to take it day by day, but I am very happy that maternity leave will fall over summer time! 

disgruntled_pelican

My university offers 6 weeks paid off, and if we STL we get 3 more weeks for a total of 9 without dipping in vacay/sick time. Luckily I’ve saved a lot and am hoping to take 12-15 weeks off. I will likely go to half time once I do go back. With 4 kids, 2 would need full time day care, the pay cut is almost the day care costs. 

rvamom90

I don't qualify for FMLA (50+ employees) because we only have 8ish as a small nonprofit but our maternity leave policy is 12 weeks. The first four is 100% paid, the second four is 50% , and the last four are 0% but I'm going to use two weeks of my PTO and only have two weeks unpaid. I'll work from home when I go back at least until January 2022 when my mom retires and watches this one. 

ruemcclanahan

Yeah I have no paid leave 😭 I can take as much as I want unpaid. I'm one of 3 employees lol!
But my boss said I can bring the baby to work if I want so I'll probably be doing that too

angelz429

@ruemcclanahan ugh I’m so sorry for you that it’s employer driven here in the states but at least you can bring baby to work. That stinks. 

mindyb2019

My heart truly goes out to you all who live in the U.S. ❤️ You definitely don’t get enough time off with the baby and that makes me mad for all of you. Your country needs to get its shit together lol. Man, I feel crazy fortunate and lucky to live in Canada. I get up to 18 months paid maternity leave. It used to be only 12 months paid (which is still fantastic) but they added another 6 months on to that if you want. I’ll definitely be taking the year off for maternity for sure, but need to see if I will be taking the extra 6 months. I’d like to but we will see how DH feels about it and how we are financially at that time. My boss will find a replacement for my position for the whole year to 18 months and then I’ll come back to work FT and baby will go into daycare. 

tilournextadventure

I have only been at my job since September this year. In reading their parental leave policy, I am only eligible for paid leave after 12 months of employment. So I have no FMLA protection nor paid leave. 🤦‍♀️
My first pregnancy I had 10 weeks paid leave then I took 2 weeks PTO to complete 12 weeks. 

ruemcclanahan

@mindyb2019 I live about an hour away from the Canadian border and my husband always says man if we just lived two hours north.... Lol!

mindyb2019

@ruemcclanahan drive 1 hour across the Canadian border and then give birth to your baby in Canada. Can you say dual citizenship 😆 boo ya!! lol 

wanderlustsoul

I will take a year again. I just went back to work at the end of august and will be off from mid-June again. 🤦🏽‍♀️ 1 year is enough for me. I am a better mom while working. I work part time (32-35 hours) so a good balance to me. I work 4 hours on Monday and 3 hours on Friday and then DS and I do lots of fun stuff on those days!

marebear15

@tilournextadventure - That stinks that you don't have FMLA or paid leave. A lot of time though, companies will ignore that you haven't been with them for 12 months and will offer you the entire 12 weeks or work with you to find a plan you are comfortable with. Especially if you are a valued employee. I would definitely talk to HR about it and see what you can get in writing.

akoros

I'm hoping to take 16 weeks, but our entire leave policy changed in October (for the better) so I need to research it again. Starting in October we're now given 12 weeks of paid parental leave, whereas before you could use your accrued sick or annual leave (or unpaid) for up to 12 or 16 weeks (you got 4 extra weeks for a C-section) under FMLA. I'm lucky in that I've been with the government for more than a decade so have a lot of leave saved up (also took advice from a colleague and stopped using my sick leave, as there's no limit as to how much of that can carry over each year). Under the old system I heard that, unofficially, you can take more time if you have the leave saved up, but it's fully at the discretion of your supervisor. I'm guessing it's mostly the same now. I'm pretty sure mine would be amenable to that, which is why I'm hoping for 16 weeks rather than 12. Usually they like to rotate someone in to the job as a development opportunity (they often get a temporary raise, too, which is nice for them). I may also talk to him about doing part-time telework towards the end to catch up, which I know my predecessor did. As for my husband, I'm pretty sure he gets maybe 2 weeks, if that.

@tilournextadventure Could they maybe give you your leave in advance, under an agreement that you'll continue to work for them for X period of time afterwards (I'd assume the full year + 12 weeks)? Not quite the same thing, but I had a friend who caught E.coli while in training for her first job and had no leave to speak of. They gave her leave in advance so she'd still get paid, but she had to work with them long enough to accrue the leave she took or pay it back. 

Maggie1202

I am so envious of those of you outside the US! 

I honestly feel pretty lucky because in WA State, FMLA pays 90% of your salary for 12 weeks (more for c-sections) for both parents, plus DH has 4 weeks with full pay through work right after the baby is born. So, we will take our FMLA leave one after the other, so one of us will be staying home with the baby for a total of 6 months. 

ellieemc26

@tilournextadventure wow, that's a bummer!  my work has an unpaid leave policy that is intended to fill the gap for when people aren't eligible for FMLA, maybe your work has something like that so you can at least feel comfortable about having some job security?

So I actually just called my boss and told him.  He encouraged me to just plan to take the whole 12 weeks in a lump and said I could change plans later.  I'm so glad he's being so supportive!  I was really nervous to tell him for a whole bunch of reasons, but he is definitely on team baby!

tilournextadventure

@marebear15 @akoros @ellieemc26 thanks for the suggestions!! I am going to wait until January after the anatomy scan to drop the bomb on work that I'm PG. I figure at that time we can negotiate my leave. Seeing as my boss called me a rock star on Friday and much of the corporate team (in our office) has taken a liking to me ('cause I get sh*t done and don't complain ) I am sure they will be willing to negotiate with me. We negotiated a lot before I even started, and then they basically told me to put down whatever salary I wanted and PTO.  Not knowing that I would be PG the same week I started, I would have negotiated the maternity leave too!! 

Thanks for sending along experiences, that helps me feel more confident that I can knock this out. I'll keep you posted. 

it_is_a_baby

I had 20 weeks 100% pay at my last job which is pretty good for in the US. Unfortunately, I moved to a smaller company without any maternity leave in place just short term disability. The VP called me though and told me they are going to work on getting something in place for me. So I’m very grateful for that and to be at a job that understands family first. Would love to have 12-18 mos of maternity leave like Canada!

MelissaMay82

With DD I had 12 weeks maternity leave. I used vacation and sick time for 10 weeks of it and was unpaid for 2 weeks. This time, I’m honestly not sure how long I will take. I am per diem now so I could potentially take longer than 12 weeks. 

kaw726

I have a pretty good mat leave. We get 4 weeks pre-partum before your due date. Then 16 weeks paid. I’ll have my vacation and sick time maxed out and can probably get another month from that. I also moved to part time (working 3 days/week) this year so hoping the transition back after will be much smoother than with my first 

kristah2

I actually told my supervisor today! It went really well but I also live in Canada and work in government so they basically have to be supportive. 

But I was impressed. They are still offering to continue with more training and such until I go off which I love. 

angelz429

@akoros I work for the government too and have lots of information. 

You get 12 weeks paid and can take an additional 4 weeks (unless you’re a supervisor, then it’s service dependent). 

As I said, I’m taking 12 weeks, maybe a little more depending on how much sick leave I have accrued, and then coming back part time for 8-9 weeks

akoros

@angelz429 Thank you! There's currently paperwork in the works to convert my role to supervisory....hopefully that won't create a problem. 

ramzlau

I think our laws just changed, so I need to figure out what the updates are. With DD I was able to take 6 weeks SDI at 80% pay, then 6 weeks at 60% pay, then tried doing part time for 2 weeks, but for some reason didn’t get paid by PFL when I switched to part time. Then returned to a 100 hour week with a 3 hour round trip commute. It was brutal and not manageable at all. I switched to part time when DD was almost a year and it was life changing. 

I just went back full time about the time we got KU. My new company policy is 4 weeks paid to run in parallel with other leave. So I am not sure how that works. You can’t take pay while on SDI, not sure if you can while on PFL? I don’t have FMLA protection because less than 50 employees. Not sure how to interrupt the 4 weeks, if that means 10 weeks (6 SDI+4) or if I can take all 14 the state pays portions of (6 SDI 80% + 8 PFL 60%), just some will be unpaid by company, or if they are thinking 4 weeks in total. I would like to go back to part time until DS is 6 months at least, but we will see how this all shakes out when I tell them. Not planning on looping them in until sometime in January. 

llamamamawearspajamapants

@angelz429 +1 for gov mama! I’m curious about the guidance on taking 12 weeks paid with FMLA plus an extra 4 weeks? My working assumption is we can use our other leave if local supervisor/management agrees, but have to be back working at the end of using the 12 weeks parental leave...

With DD I used up almost all of my leave to take 10 weeks paid and two weeks unpaid with a couple PT weeks back at first. I also thought I’d have to work right up until I went to labor. My BP went up and I had to go on leave early and I resented it. This time I’d rather plan being done working sooner and use my leave. 

I’d been saving up leave thinking about having another, so a whole bank of leave in addition is incredible. I’ve been trying to convince DH to work for the IRS (he’s a tax attorney) so that we could BOTH get 12 weeks paid leave. If he ever does we’ll basically have to have a 3rd kid!

akoros

@llamamamawearspajamapants Yay for govvies! Your question is a good one....also what does it mean to be "back working" after using the leave (i.e. can I log on for a day and call that "back"? or does it have to do with being in "active status"?). I'll talk to HR about it eventually, but don't want to jinx things just yet. I have a feeling it'll be like before, where there's a difference between the official guidance and what specific supervisors may let you get away with. 

The IRS gets a bad rap, but some of the jobs there sound fascinating. I'm also trying to convince my husband to go into the government so he'd get better vacation time and other benefits, but he doesn't listen to me.

llamamamawearspajamapants

@akoros right?? You think I was Lady MacBeth here trying to convince him to murder someone!

hstaples4

I’ve only been at my current job a year so don’t have a ton of vacation or sick leave saved but here in Washington there’s the paid family leave which I qualify for 16 weeks at 90% pay. I think I may take 8 weeks off and then come back 2 days a week for a few months. Even then I may just work mornings (being baby with me) and work from home in the afternoons. We’ll see. My boss and I haven’t nailed anything down yet. 

Livvyloo87

I won't make you all jealous with what is available in NZ, but its similar to Canada.  Hopefully the covid situation and the working from home has at least made companies/bosses more comfortable with people working from home and being flexible which might allow some of you more time.  

angelz429

@llamamamawearspajamapants

so the 12 weeks maternity leave starts the day of birth. So you can take FLMA for 12 weeks starting before birth, but you essentially lose free days off and have to use your accrued leave before and you lose that many days on the paid maternity, as that only covers to the 12 weeks FMLA. 

After the FMLA, you can use your own leave (sick or AL) up to an additional 4 weeks (if you’re not a supervisor). After you come back, you have to stay with the government for at least an additional 12 weeks. (It just makes sure you don’t take your leave then peace out). 

I’m on several women VA Facebook groups, which is super helpful lol

mrsrundmc

I finally got a job offer and start after the first of the year.  I found out that I get up to 12 weeks 100% paid with a min of 8 weeks.  I am in shock, I thought that I would have to go back after 6 weeks and take it all unpaid.

_orchid_

Wow some of you have great leaves! I work in an school so will have my usual unpaid summer (will probably have my RCS within a few days off the last day of school), and then will take time off in the fall. I'm allowed to use 4 weeks of accrued sick time, and then the rest of the time will be unpaid. I pay into a state leave insurance, so once summer is over and I've used those 4 weeks, I'll be able to apply to get 60% of my pay for a few more weeks, and then I'll take more time unpaid. Hoping to stay out until Thanksgiving. 

We are scheduled to go back in person in January, so I'm a little nervous about using my accrued sick time with covid quarantines. I only have ~30 days accrued since my maternity leave 4 years ago, and I think I'll be required to use those days if I'm exposed to covid at work and need to quarantine. Really hoping to be able to keep 20 days for the fall. 

tilournextadventure

@mrsrundmc wow!! That's awesome paid leave!! 

llamamamawearspajamapants

@_orchid_ would you be able to use additional paid sick leave under the CARES act if ordered to quarantine?

@angelz429 so childbirth is “qualifying event” that starts the one year clock to use FMLA, but I’m not sure we’re required to evoke FMLA right away after the baby’s born? With DD I used sick leave I had for the first couple weeks and then evoked FMLA in order to use my annual leave/ advanced annual leave/ some LWOP for the rest. 

I’ll keep an eye out for FB groups with my agency. It’s a good problem to have to figure out a new leave category!

@Livvyloo87 can you adopt me?  I can’t tell you how many friends I have whose Covid dream right now is to work on a goat farm in NZ

_orchid_

@llamamamawearspajamapants I think those provisions are expiring 12/31. Our head of HR sent out an email explicitly saying that any time we need out due to quarantine or caring for our personal children who are in quarantine will come out of our contractual time. 

DoubleUp8

I get 6 weeks paid from my University (8 weeks if it's a C-section) Then I have to use up all my 4 weeks vacation before they will let me moved to FLMA. I don't know if we can afford for me to go on FMLA because I pay the healthcare and other benefits and I think all the money would just go to those. (My old university you could bank vacation, but this on makes you use it all in the given fiscal year. Great in general, but DS I had banked enough vacation to be able to take 12 weeks full pay).

I will probably go back after 9-9.5 weeks so I can save several days of vacation for the rest of the year. Our fiscal year is July 1-June 30. I am a little bummed because if this was a early May or late April baby I could use this year's vacation and next year's vacation. But I am just happy this little guy is coming.

I am crossing my fingers that they might let me work remotely when I first come back so we can keep the baby out of daycare as long as possible. DH plans to take most of his leave at the end of mine (he gets a few weeks so maybe 1 week at the start and 2 weeks after mine), so if I was remote, I could still nurse the baby for a few more weeks and put off the dreaded pumping. Also, I am excited to be going back to an office, so I do not need to go to a designated space somewhere else to pump. 

ramfam2507

My company offers an 8 week paid maternity/paternity leave and short term disability which will be another 6-8 weeks paid. 

At least I thinks that how it worked when I had my last baby in January 2019. I honestly haven’t looked up the policies at all this time around 😬