So, I FINALLY got my NIPT results back today! Yay! All was negative/low risk! Phew. Thats a relief to hear. I've never had a good NIPT before. And the gender is....
I have to add. I really really really wanted a girl soooooo badly and thought it was going to be. i know I should be happy its a healthy normal baby but im really struggling with gender disappointment and I can't stop crying 😭 Im so pissed its a boy. The last baby I lost was a boy and he had T21 and I really didn't want another boy for that reason and now I feek like im just replacing him with this one and I feel guilty and sad and miss him etc. I feel like a horrible person for not being excited and I feel so unattached to this baby I think I will be crying for awhile.
@mindyb2019 yay for low-risk/neg NIPT results!! I’m so sorry you are feeling that way but losses bring lots of additional emotions. Let yourself feel all the feelings! It’s also ok to be gender disappointed.
@mindyb2019 No baby can replace the one you lost, even if they're the same sex. I'm so glad your NIPT came back low risk! Let yourself feel your feelings. If you need to talk, my DMs are always open!!
@mindyb2019 I’m happy that you got your NIPT results back early and that they’re low risk. All your feelings are completely normal, hope you get lots of time to process and recognize that this baby is not replacing the other. Both babies are with you, one physically and one spiritually. *hugs
@mindyb2019 you are not a horrible person! You are a caring person who had a traumatic experience during your pregnancy with your first boy. I really have no other words and don't know what to say, but I feel like I've internet known you long enough to say 100% you are NOT a bad person. I'm sending you a PM too. Also I am very glad everything came back low-risk!! That's one hurdle you're over now.
@mindyb2019 So glad to hear about the negative/low risk part! All your feelings are completely valid, so be kind to yourself. But like @ashaislurking said, he won't replace his brother, and you will always carry the son you lost in your heart too. Big hugs.
*TTC History*
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
Thank all of you ladies for your love and support. ❤ Its nice to know I can be raw and open with all of you and you understand. I've been really struggling emotionally today and prob will for awhile until I process my feelings and acceptance of having a boy. I feel like im just reliving everything bad from my last pregnancy because he's male. 😢 I'm in a negative funk right now.
@disgruntled_pelican - Seeing all the activity on this page, I was feeling a little left out too. I'm waiting until my 20 week ultrasound, which is around the first week of February 😭
@mindyb2019 Just catching up here, I am glad your results came back low/negative! Sorry you are dealing with reliving all the memories and hurt. Do you have a professional that you can talk to? It might help to talk to someone and process some of the emotions and pain so you can be present for this pregnancy and baby. Sending creepy internet hugs!
@ramzlau Thank you friend ❤️ yes, I do have a couple therapists I can call and book an appt with soon to have a talk and get some support. I think I need that and it will be good for me to help process my feelings and emotions and work through my struggle.
How long did it take for everyone to get the NIPT results? I got my Maternit21 drawn on Monday Nov 23 and still haven’t received the results. I’m getting so antsy!!!!
I've been thinking and I want to say I'm sorry to everyone for complaining about the gender of my baby. I know some women would kill to have just ANY healthy baby as they have had struggles and a long road to get here etc. I myself a person with 2 losses, I should be more appreciative and thankful that my baby is healthy and normal and fine. Thats all we ever want right? Im sorry if my comments about struggling that im going to have a boy and not a girl hurt any of your feelings in any way. Wasnt my intentions and I feel like a selfish inconsiderate asshole for even bitching about it 😭 Im going to just be thankful for what I have and move forward and keep my comments, thoughts and feelings inside. I truly want the best for all you ladies here 😘❤
@mindyb2019 do not apologize for your feelings! You have a right to feel how ever you feel. I don’t think you are not grateful to be pregnant with a healthy baby. Disappointment in baby’s sex is completely normal with or without your history of loss. Please do not keep your thoughts and comments to yourself if you want to share them. We are all here to support one another. Your feelings are valid and it’s okay to have them! Also, you are not replacing the boy you lost. You chose to continue growing your family and a boy is what you are carrying. Your previous losses will always be with you and carry a place in your heart. That is okay and healthy! Please please please do not apologize for sharing your feelings!
@mindyb2019 don’t apologize for having initial feelings. We all know they will fade with time and you’ll find peace in it all. I, myself, was upset at first that I wouldn’t get to experience having a girl as this is our last baby. I’m simultaneously excited to be a boy mom and sad I won’t have a baby girl. It’s okay to feel your feelings
@mindyb2019, please don’t apologize. Gender disappointment is not uncommon and, frankly, is normal. And in your case, there are even more reasons for you to feel this way. Personally, I think it’s healthy to acknowledge that and let yourself feel that way. It doesn’t mean you’ll feel that way forever but it’s ok to feel that way right now. Sending you lots of hugs and love. Be kind and patient with yourself. There are a lot of emotions you are dealing with that are made even worse by pregnancy.
@mindyb2019 no need to apologize. I appreciate your raw feelings. There is so much we have to be grateful for but we are also able to have feelings of disappointment. Feel all the feelings and be in the moment.
@mindyb2019 As someone that has gone through IF 2x now, it didn’t even cross my mind when reading your post. No need to apologize here! I just wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself and would have no regrets later looking back at this pregnancy to have missed out because of dealing with the previous losses. Mental health is so important to me, because I have seen it wreck so many lives unnecessarily. Keep being as open as you feel comfortable!
@mindyb2019 ♥️ one of the things I like about posting here is that I can be honest about my feelings when it comes to all of this. IRL I only have a few friends that I've talked to about the pay year and a half, and I sometimes feel bad dumping more on them especially since none of them are at this same place right now. It's nice to be able to be able to share my feelings to other people here who "get" it. No judgment of you feeling your feelings
@mindyb2019 hi there. Just want to reiterate what other people said. I'm childless but I didn't feel offended at all by your post, just empathy that you went through such a hard thing and it's still affecting the way you experience this pregnancy. Please don't keep it inside. Everyone's experience is different, and everyone's is valid. I'm not a fan at all of people telling people they're being insensitive just because they have a different problem. Its ok to talk about having kids, even though some people are going through infertility. Its ok to worry about not having any symptoms, even though others have severe symptoms. And it's ok to be disappointed and pissed that it's a boy. That's your experience, no need to apologize.
As for me, 13 week sneak peek. It's too early to be sure, but things were looking VERY blue
Genetics report came back yesterday just 1 week after the blood draw. Baby tested negative for abnormalities and ... it's a girl! I honestly can't believe it and I was sure we were going to have another boy. I admittedly have some disappointment but a lot of stems from my husband who really wanted another boy. I'm just so relieved that the genetics report came back low risk and we are closer to knowing for sure that this is a healthy baby.
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks May 2020 FET; BFN July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate Oct 2020 BFP!
Well, we were going to wait for the anatomy scan (insurance doesn't pay for any genetics tests), but DH didn't know that Sneak Peak blood tests were only $80. So now he's considering that route.
Just had my NIPT drawn yesterday and waiting on results! I have a cousin with Down syndrome so I am kind of worried that the results will be high risk but I am very excited to know if it’s a girl or a boy
Re: I’m just here for the SEX!!!
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
Baby #2 is another boy!
I have to add. I really really really wanted a girl soooooo badly and thought it was going to be. i know I should be happy its a healthy normal baby but im really struggling with gender disappointment and I can't stop crying 😭 Im so pissed its a boy. The last baby I lost was a boy and he had T21 and I really didn't want another boy for that reason and now I feek like im just replacing him with this one and I feel guilty and sad and miss him etc. I feel like a horrible person for not being excited and I feel so unattached to this baby
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
Married: 10.2018
DS #1: 06.2014
Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), Emergency C-Section
MC: 03.2017- 5 Weeks
Rainbow DS #2: 07.2018
HG, 19w Fetal Surgery, 24w PPROM, 33w Placental Abruption, Partial Uterine Rupture, Emergency C-Section
NICU, Chronic Kidney Disease
TTC #3: Medically Cleared 12.5.2019, had a bunch of problems and wonky cycles
BFP 10.13.2020 EDD: 6.26.2021
October 2020 TTGP Signature Challenge: Pets in Costumes
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
and I’m having another BOY!!! I’m so excited. I really wanted another boy.
As for me, 13 week sneak peek. It's too early to be sure, but things were looking VERY blue
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*