TTCAL November 2020

fitzfizz · November 2020

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage, selective termination due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going?

What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Questions?

GTKY: What is your favorite thanksgiving food?

fitzfizz · November 2020

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. One loss, TFMR at 22 weeks earlier this year. Additional testing since then confirmed that the problem was genetic, but we have only ~2-5% chance of it happening again.

Status: WTO 4th cycle AL

How are things going? I had a pretty bad week last week with my due date, but now that that is over I’m trying to go into this cycle with a positive outlook.

What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? I keep going back and forth between being scared I won’t be able to get pregnant again, and scared that we will have the same problem again if I do. I can’t decide which I am more scared of, but the only thing we can do is keep trying, so that’s where my brain is.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? No, testing is all finally done.

Questions? Nothing really yet.

GTKY: What is your favorite thanksgiving food? Dual citizen checking in! I celebrate thanksgiving twice, so I’m putting two favorites. My favorite food for Canadian thanksgiving was always pumpkin pie, but people don’t really eat that as often here. More recently, I look forward to the baked macaroni my cousin makes every year.

Kenneylynn3 · November 2020

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of losses: 4.

When you had the losses:11/2011, 06/2012, 08/2013, 08/2020.

Conditions surrounding losses: mmc 8w, mmc 8w, blood clot in umblical cord at 20w, mc 8w.

Status: wto

How are things going? Things are going alright. I'm mentally ready to TTC, but my body is struggling to figure it out. ( Rant in WTO).

What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Since we don't have a reason for most the losses, it's been deemed as bad luck. I hate being that person, someone with bad luck when it comes to pregnancy.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

Questions? Nope

GTKY: What is your favorite thanksgiving food? Tie between mash potatoes and stuffing.

@fitzfizz I'm sorry you're struggling.

fitzfizz · November 2020

@kenneylynn3 Sorry you are dealing with knowing it was just bad luck. Uncertainty is awful. I’m glad you at least got a positive OPK so hopefully your body is figuring things out!

For me, this has been a weird week. There has been a lot of talk specifically about later term terminations because of the election and passing of a really shitty amendment in my state that was billed as pro-life. I was kind of hoping that knowing about my situation would cause people to examine their preconceived ideas about what later terminations are really for, but apparently not. I need this to all just be over.

Kenneylynn3 · November 2020

@fitzfizz I can't stand ask the politics surrounding late term abortions. My heart goes out to all who go through that agony.

inthewoods23 · November 2020

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1st loss at 8 weeks, Oct 2020. Progesterone had dropped after having good numbers during my betas, hoping that was the cause or at least something I should be monitored for now

Status: WFAF

How are things going? Pretty good at this point. I'm just bored waiting for AF to show at the end of the month

What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? I'm irritated that my HPTs are still showing positive, but barely. I go in this week for another HCG check. I'm probably hovering somewhere below 20, maybe 15. On the plus side, decided to take an OPK just to see how that looked and well... Almost positive lol. So I'm happy to see my body is good about resetting itself quickly. I am going to take another tomorrow to see if I caught the front or back of the surge.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Need to schedule my 2nd HCG check and I meet with the OB to regroup/come up with a game plan. Hoping she agrees we should watch my progesterone next time

Questions? is my next AF going to be nasty or no?

GTKY: What is your favorite thanksgiving food? I'm always a fan of the mashed sweet potatoes with butter and brown sugar! What can I say, I definitely have a sweet tooth

sienna221 · November 2020

I was active in TTC for July 2020 and August 2020 but was still new to the board and definitely new to this thread. Now having experienced a loss, I want to make sure I’m aware and respectful of everyone’s feelings here. So I apologize if I mention something I shouldn’t or ask a question that doesn’t belong here. Hopefully I don’t, but just let me know if I do so I can learn how to navigate this properly. Thanks!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. First loss. MMC - was in for my 2nd appointment at 11 weeks. Had a MMC at 8 weeks. Must have been right after my first appointment. Had D&C at 11 weeks.

Status: WFAF and for HPTs to stop being positive.

How are things going? Okay. It’s just annoying being in the “waiting period” of getting AF with no real idea when to expect that.

What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

*TW* My sister is due in 2 weeks. My parents just got in town this weekend to be here through the holidays and new year since they are so excited (first grandchild). It’s all that my family is talking about...understandably so. I put on a brave face but still doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt sometimes. My parents don’t actually know about my MMC because I was waiting to surprise them when they got in town that I was pregnant. Yesterday would have been the day we told them and revealed the gender. But in good news, I’m no longer bleeding! Bye bye awful diaper pads!

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

No testing being done. Since it was my first loss and nothing looked abnormal and *TW* I got pregnant within 2 months of starting to try, they don’t really do any special testing.

Questions? How long did your OBs tell you to wait before trying again? And did they give any warnings of getting pregnant before the return of your first normal cycle?

Also, I’ve been taking HPTs that are getting lighter but also for some reason tested with an OPK today and it was peak. Is that normal to have a positive HPT but also a positive OPK?

GTKY: What is your favorite thanksgiving food? Ugh so many. My family makes oyster stuffing and this corn soufflé that are amazing. Plus any dessert that’s served!

acleverusername · November 2020

*lurking*
@sienna221 I am so sorry to see you back here. 😢

inthewoods23 · November 2020

@sienna221 my OB told me to avoid for the cycle following the MC and could try once I get my next AF. That way any positive HPTs following that AF would be indicative of a new pregnancy and not the previous pregnancy that was miscarried. There's nothing wrong with getting PG immediately after a MC, but it makes dating a new pregnancy more difficult. How light are your HPTs? I had a nearly positive OPK today but my HPT lines are quite faint and it's been 2 weeks since my MC so my body may already be back to normal. I haven't looked too much into how soon after a MC someone may ovulate since HCG would presumably prevent your body from doing that. I've read that bodies can O or build up to O if HCG is below 30 or so.

sienna221 · November 2020

@inthewoods23 My OB said to wait until I got an AF too but that it wasn’t bad if it happened before that either. So seems like it’s really just hard for dating purposes? And possibly you’re uterus isn’t healed enough...

HPTs are definitely more than a squinter but have lightened up a lot. D&C was 10/22 so I’m 2.5 weeks out. OPK was pretty positive but I see some things online say that enough Hcg in your system could turn a OPK too. So much info and conflicting info online! I know I just need to stop looking & testing and just wait. I’m just such an impatient person haha. Put a pic from this mornings tests in a spoiler below for reference.

inthewoods23 · November 2020

@sienna221 yeah the healing could be part of it too. I had a natural MC so I don't know how that could differ from having a D&C in terms of healing.

Every so often a rando will come in here using an OPK instead of an HPT asking if they're PG. No idea if there's some science behind it. I've been temping to see if I can spot an O date so we'll see if it matches today or tomorrow's OPK result.

kiki047 · November 2020

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important:

Number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC at 11w, baby stopped growing after we heard a HB at 7w5d

Status: I don't know what to call this... limbo? I'm still bleeding heavily from the MC. Took the misoprostol this past Wednesday evening, bled heavily all day Thursday (when I had the actual MC), very light spotting Fri and most of Sat but cramping started again Sat night and bleeding heavily again today. My RE has me coming back for weekly betas to track my HCG down to 0 starting this Tuesday.

How are things going? Up and down. Yesterday was hard. We spent almost the entire day crying over everything and yet nothing. Today we're feeling better mentally but physically with lots of bleeding/clots and pretty intense cramping I'm feeling kinda blah. But I did have my first couple glasses of wine this weekend since before we started prepping for our FET cycle in August, so that felt kinda good.

What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Honestly everything right now is a struggle because it's all still so fresh. This doesn't feel real. My impulse maternity purchases are still arriving in the mail from 3 weeks ago before we knew about the loss and it makes me want to puke. Also struggling with the reality of friends/family who probably don't know what to say to us or how to help because they either just haven't spoken to us since or don't even ask us how we are. I understand some people don't want to pry or want to follow our lead but does it always have to be me reaching out for support? I have a few close friends who have been really good about at least checking in with me but even my BFF hasn't mentioned it since we told her, just keeps sending me updates of her vacation.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just the betas, and follow up with RE in 3 weeks.

Questions? How long should I expect to bleed?

GTKY: What is your favorite thanksgiving food? Canadian Thanksgiving was last month but my family makes something we call Sausage Rice, which is ground sausage meat sauteed with minced veggies (carrots, onion, celery, sometimes green beans), then you basically make fried rice with it and mix in steamed white rice. As far as we know we're the only ones who make this because my grandmother made it up but everyone who has celebrated a holiday with us always asks about it.

kiki047 · November 2020

@inthewoods23 I was also wondering that about my next AF, but I'm still trying to survive this bleed first so... blah.
@sienna221 I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like we have a similar timeline. My RE warned me no sex for 2 weeks following the MC because my cervix may still be dilated (and I may still be bleeding at that point) so abstain to prevent infection. We can't get pregnant without IVF so it never occurred to me to even try to time HIO with ovulation but depending on how your cycle comes back that may not work out timing-wise anyway. But if you weren't told to abstain after your D&C then I suppose it's a very real possibility that you could get KU your first cycle trying. I've seen it happen and some people believe that you're extra fertile in the few months following a MC.

Kenneylynn3 · November 2020

@inthewoods23 I'm so sorry to see you back here. As for your question, I believe my first period was shorter and lighter. Also, my cycles were/are thrown off. I hope your ob agrees to watch your progesterone.

@kiki047 I'm sorry you find yourself back here. Your miscarriage sounds like mine physically, bleeding then basically stopping just to ramp up again. It's such a rollercoaster.

@sienna221It sounds like such a painful ordeal for family to not know and to try to put on a brave face. My ob said to wait until AF before trying again. Mostly I think for dating purposes, but I've also read that the lining may not be thick enough? No idea of that's true or not. I don't know about getting a positive opk and positive hpt, but I know you can ovulate during the miscarriage process. In the future, when using a TW use *TW PG or LC* and be sure to put the triggering info in a spoiler. Some may be having a difficult day/ time and choose not to read those.

sienna221 · November 2020

Thanks @Kenneylynn3! I was trying to put in spoiler text but it was putting my whole post in a spoiler...not just the section I highlighted. Technology challenged over here! 🤦‍♀️

@kiki047 my OB said the same regarding no sex for 2 weeks but got the go ahead at my 2 week check up.

inthewoods23 · November 2020

@kiki047 man I feel like a bad friend! I thought about checking in with you yesterday but wanted you to have the weekend to do your thing and feel your feelings. I think I bled for 4 days with another 3 days of brown spotting. I was surprised considering my lining was at like 13mm. The intense cramping you're having now could be your body trying to pass additional tissue.

@Kenneylynn3 I'm hoping my cycles are regular once I'm at the next AF. They were good immediately after going off BC for 8 years and they regulated fine after stopping the FET meds. I just have no idea if I can consider these OPKs as real! I've been temping and there hasn't been a shift at all.

kiki047 · November 2020

Oh @inthewoods23 you completely don't count as one of those 'absent' friends, not even close. You've been one of my lifelines through this whole ordeal. I am more referring to my godparents who still haven't even reached out once in the last 10 days, or the only 3 friends I told about the pregnancy (and subsequent loss) IRL haven't said a word since the night we told them. I assume they're thinking they're giving us space but even a "No need to respond just wanted you to know I'm here and thinking about you" would be nice.
@Kenneylynn3 thank you, and I'm so sorry for all your losses too. I feel you on the "bad luck" thoughts. MH is convinced this is his bad karma biting him in the ass but he's the best guy I know. I wish we had more answers so we aren't just stuck with a 'bad luck streak' as the reason we can't get/stay pregnant.
@sienna221 that is so, so hard about your family and the timing of it all. Not that there's ever a good time, but sending you extra hugs to get through these next few weeks. Take care of yourself, and we're here whenever you need someone to talk to!!

inthewoods23 · November 2020

@kik047 damn, 10 days is extreme! I really felt for you knowing your fate but still having so many days before the MC. I similarly had no idea how to support my friend going through her loss last year, but a simple "hope you guys are doing okay" meant a lot to her, especially when another one of her friends was due 10 days before her. I bawled like a GD baby when I unexpectedly received a box of cookies and brownies in the mail from her. Care packages are amazing.

fitzfizz · November 2020

Sad to see this thread getting more activity, but loving the support around these parts.

@inthewoods23 My first AF after I finally stopped bleeding was delayed and lighter than usual. I think my hormones were all messed up though because my stupid body decided that it was going to lactate unnecessarily and I think that made everything else go crazy. Definitely AF was not worse though, so there is hope it will just be normal.

@sienna221 I actually looked into it a lot after my loss and there are a few reasons they caution you to wait, but it is variable depending on how far along you were. With any procedure involving dilation, there is a risk for infection so they recommend no sex for two weeks AND as long as you are having bleeding to make sure the cervix is closed. For a pregnancy before first period, there is difficulty with dating and concern for early miscarriage due to inadequate endometrium. If you had a later pregnancy loss there is also some concern for nutritional depletion for certain vitamins so they will sometimes tell you to wait longer for that and for your body to actually heal.

@kiki047 So sorry about the maternity clothes, that is one of those unexpected triggers you don’t think about, but then it gets you out of the blue. I ended up having my MIL come clean out all of my maternity clothes so I didn’t have to see them. As for bleeding, I can’t be much help because I had a pretty different time frame. FWIW I bled for 3 weeks, but I had a D&E and I think I had a bleeding placental site vessel.

Kenneylynn3 · November 2020

@sienna221 no worries. I'll try to walk you through it.
-Type the *TW ____*
-hit enter 2x. Go back to right below "tw" and insert spoiler. Everything in the spoiler had to be it's own "paragraph" or else the whole text goes in the box. Also, if you don't leave space after the spoiler, you can't get out of the spoiler.

@inthewoods23 I never thought to temp or take an opk during the process, so I'm not much help. Hoping your cycles go back to normal.

@kiki047 my dw took my last mc really hard. My first 3 I was with my ex. She kept blaming herself, even though I told her there was nothing any of us could have done differently. I'm going you and the find great support from each other. It's really hard when friends/family know and nothing is said.

inthewoods23 · November 2020

@fitzfizz interesting that it was lighter. I'm curious how it will go since my post-MC bleeding wasn't anything worse than I've experienced before.

@Kenneylynn3 the planner in me just wanted to have some idea when I can expect AF lol. I took the OPK over the weekend and this morning just out of curiosity. Might do it again at the end of the week to see if they're back to low or if they're always going to be looking close to positive while things regulate. Outside of that I think I'll just keep with the temping.

kiki047 · November 2020

@inthewoods23 YES to care packages. I received flowers and an edible arrangements package and that simultaneously broke me (in a good way...) and lifted me up just when I needed it.

@fitzfizz I'm so sorry, yes for sure that would be unimaginably more difficult to be that much further along. I admire your strength and resilience to keep going, despite your fears. You are not alone

That resonates so deeply with me, even under different circumstances that feeling of loss and lack of control is terrifying. I hope this new cycle brings you so much luck and peace as you move forward.

@Kenneylynn3 it's so hard to watch your loved ones in pain as well. I know this isn't something we can "fix" but both our pregnancy and subsequent loss have only brought us closer. We will be speaking to our therapist about it though, when we're ready to talk about it.

bumblebee0210 · November 2020

So sorry to see so many fresh faces here. It's the worst.

@inthewoods23 You will likely ovulate before your betas go totally to zero (I think I did after my last D&C when they were around 25 or so). That cycle for me was pretty wonky (I think like a 7-day LP), but the one after that was normal so hopefully you are on track to get back to fertility quickly. After my first mc it took *3 months* for my betas to go to zero which was suuuuuper annoying.

@fitzfizz Ugh, I am so sorry you have to deal with other peoples' ignorance in addition to everything you went through. I have not had this experience myself but I try to educate anyone who seems misinformed about it because it's so awful.

@sienna221 I bled for about a week after my D&C at 12 weeks, but the cycle after that had some random spotting. My MFM told me that anything up to 6 weeks is considered normal as long as it's not an excessive amount, but she also said that is pretty rare. Also, on waiting-- it's all just for dating purposes. Just do whatever you want. This time the MFMs told me to just like, follow my heart (or something like that).

@Kenneylynn3 I feel you on the "bad luck" diagnosis.

Number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. mmc @ 8w in Dec 2017, mmc (mono/di twins) @11.5w, Sep 2020

Status: WTO

How are things going? Ok. I think I may have had the slightest of chemical pregnancies this cycle (verrrrry faint line, slight symptoms, immediately followed by spotting, then bleeding), and though it does take more to get my hopes up these days, I am annoyed that it can still happen.

What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Yesterday I was just feeling tired of all of it, but today I am filled with that new-cycle promise.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I got the genetic results back on the twins, and they were genetically normal (46XX). Not sure how to take that. On the one hand I was afraid I had old-ass eggs that were just more likely to be aneuploid, but on the other hand the fact that they weren't aneuploid means that something else could have been wrong? But on the *third* hand they were mono/di twins so there are more things to go wrong (like weird placenta things), so maybe not likely to repeat? Also finding out the sex is always weird

Questions? For those of you that have had genetic testing of the fetus(es)-- did you just learn whether they had the correct number of chromosomes, or anything more interesting than that? I'm wondering if it could be a non-aneuploidy genetic cause.

GTKY: What is your favorite thanksgiving food? pie.

fitzfizz · November 2020

@bumblebee0210 I’m so sorry to hear you had a CP this month. Even if it is very early, the loss of potential still hurts. I had targeted testing in addition to karyotype and microarray, but it was for a panel of genes known to cause the abnormality we had identified on US. We ended up meeting with a genetic counselor to talk about the results and as part of that she explained that most often they only test the karyotype and microarray when a loss is early enough that they can’t diagnose any abnormalities on US. Did you have the microarray to look for partial chromosomal abnormalities? Normally that would be tested to determine if you or your husband have a balanced translocation, but I’m not sure that would be relevant in your case.

**TW LC**

With a genetically normal child it is less likely that one of you would have a balanced translocation, but it isn’t impossible.

bumblebee0210 · November 2020

@fitzfizz That makes sense-- I remember you talking about very specific genetic issues but of course you had to TFMR, so there were clear issues there to begin with, and I assume more intense testing. My sense is, with "products of conception" testing, it can sometimes be hard for them to grow the cultures, so maybe there is less they can discern? It's also possible that they just don't test for as much unless they have some suspicion. We never got our first mmc tested but I just assumed it was an aneuploidy issue because that's by far the most common cause of loss, especially losses like mine (7w slow heartbeat, 8w no heartbeat, no bleeding or outward signs). I guess I assumed this one was too, but I knew it was also possible it was a weird twin placenta thing. As I said, I think on net it is reassuring since though aneuploidy is random, it can be more common as eggs diminish in quality. Identical twinning is extremely unlikely to happen again, and thus whatever caused this loss is unlikely to repeat. Back to the old "bad luck" dx, I suppose.

nlc_atx · November 2020

When you had the losses:11/2020

Conditions surrounding losses: MMC around 5 weeks, found out at 6/7 weeks - I hadn’t gotten clear dates yet.

Status: WFAF

How are things going? OK. After two failed attempts with misoprostol, I had a d&c last Thursday and am finally starting to feel like I’m recovering.

What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? I’m still struggling with not knowing what will happen. I was heavy spotting before the procedure but still haven’t had much bleeding since, and it bothers me not knowing if I’m going to start or if this is just it. I know there’s nothing to do but wait, but this no control/not knowing feeling is hard. I’m also frustrated because I took fmla last week and instead of putting it down as “serious health conditions,” the administrator said it was for pregnancy and/or birth, so I had to reach out to hr to let them know that no, I would not be needing maternity leave. He was nice and understanding but it was so awkward and sad.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? No

Questions? Nope

GTKY: What is your favorite Thanksgiving good? Cranberry sauce. My family recipe for cranberry apple sauce is amazing but I love it all, store brand jelly included!

sienna221 · November 2020

@nlc_atx so sorry for your loss. And I feel you...the no control/waiting game is terrible!

I was actually just talking to a friend about this. I’ve had friends who have MC and I’ve been so sympathetic and my heart has hurt for them...but beyond that I hadn’t really thought much about it. Now having gone through it.. it’s like 1) bam...you’re dealing with this emotional loss... 2) then you get the physical pain and discomfort for which ever way you’re having/had your MC and then your body is purging in a very disturbing way...3) then your hormones are going absolutely f’n crazy from everything and (at least for me) either sobbing or raging at any given moment...4) oh and to top it off...the cherry on top...here’s your medical bills...

And I realize that may just be the tip of the iceberg for what some of you/other women are dealing with on this TTC journey. Sorry if that was a TW but it’s so terrible and crazy that it makes me actually laugh. I really admire all of you ladies and am in awe for what we as women go through. We really are so strong.

fitzfizz · November 2020

@bumblebee0210 As far as I know the issue isn’t usually lack of enough DNA to test, it’s more that there is no direction as to what to test. They test chromosomes because that is a common problem, but single gene mutations also cause a good amount of losses, there is just no way to know which genes to test unless there is a known anatomical problem that was identified.

@nlc_atx Sorry to see someone else joining here, but welcome to one of the most supportive corners of the internet! Bleeding can be super variable after a D&C because if they got everything you may have minimal bleeding, but it would also be normal for it to come and go as everything heals. And I hear you about the frustration of dealing with HR just rubbing it in what you have lost. I had to cancel my already scheduled maternity leave and the emails regarding that with HR were excruciating.

@sienna221 No TW needed for any talk of loss on this particular thread. We avoid any talk of LC or ongoing pregnancy for obvious reasons, but any talk of loss and the associated frustrations is what this thread is for. Your 1-4 list is basically my life!

bumblebee0210 · November 2020

@nlc_atx So sorry to hear about your loss, and the medical issues afterward. I had a similar (but opposite) experience with my first mc-- I had an MVA (similar to D&C), but there was retained product and I had to take misoprostol, and the whole thing just dragged out. It's so much for your body to go through, and really feels like adding insult to injury. You aren't alone and this phase does pass-- before you know it you are obsessing over CM again.

Also-- I hear you on the frustration of not knowing. I will share something that my therapist was really helpful with when I first started TTC and had my first mc-- this whole process just involves an enormous amount of uncertainty. TTC, pregnancy, birth, and parenthood are all total minefields, filled with hope and joy and disappointment and worry. It's helpful to try to learn to be comfortable existing in the uncertainty because it doesn't end when you get pregnant, or pass 12 weeks or 20 weeks, or even once you give birth. It certainly hasn't been easy for me, but it has helped seeing this all as part of the journey of parenthood.

bumblebee0210 · November 2020

Also, @fitzfizz that totally makes sense about the testing. Speaking of being comfortable with uncertainty! I also got DOR blood tests back (normal), so given that my dr. definitely thinks there is no call for intervention at this point. I think she is right, but the idea of not *doing something* is so unsatisfying.

inthewoods23 · November 2020

@bumblebee0210 3 months?? oh my goodness. It's been just over 2 weeks since my MC and had my 2nd beta check yesterday. Finally got the results this morning that I'm at 6. I need less than 4! So I go back in a week for another check and hope that it's at 0.

@nlc_atx sorry for your loss. I had what I would consider pretty minimal bleeding in the realm of MCs. The nurse said I would bleed for a week but my last bleed was about 4 days later followed by a few days of spotting. I think I also had a lot of plain discharge for a few days following that. I was annoyed not knowing when I could finally stop wearing a pantiliner!

I had my beta check in the noon hour yesterday and they finally got posted this morning. Literally minutes prior I had logged into the portal to check and they weren't there. Boo. But I'm glad to see it's down to 6 so we're almost done. So damn close to the < 4 requirement. It's going to be weird to soon see negative tests. I've been so used to seeing positives haha. My BBT also popped up over 98 which usually signals that O happened. I had a weird zig zag going on for a few days before it stayed consistent for about 3 before it jumped back up yesterday. I was happy to see it didn't zig zag back down. I feel very fortunate that my body has quickly gone back to normal and hasn't had any major delay. Today is CD20 if you count the day of my MC as CD1. This is just slightly outside my usual O CDs between 15-19. I'll post my chart later if anyone is interested in looking at it.

Eta: my chart. Curious what would happen discarding those 3 peaks

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/19/arya4b4zzqiw.png

sienna221 · November 2020

@inthewoods23 is that how it works for counting CDs with MC...count the MC as CD1? Or is it different if you have a D&C?

Kenneylynn3 · November 2020

@nlc_atx so sorry you find yourself here.

inthewoods23 · November 2020

@sienna221 I would say with a D&C you'd consider CD1 the day of the D&C (I'm presuming you start bleeding that day?). I had a natural MC (I noticed in the patient portal that it's labeled as spontaneous abortion and I hate that label) and my bleeding started a couple hours before passing tissue so I equate it to CD1 with AF. The Premom app considers CD1 the day after the MC which I guess makes sense as that's the first day of not being pregnant.

kiki047 · November 2020

@nlc_atx I’m so very sorry you find yourself here. Like PPs have said, you’ve found the most supportive corner of the Internet. My heart dropped for you hearing the traumatic experience you had to go through with the misoprostol and still having to go through with the D&C. I’ve heard far too many stories like yours, and it is horrifying to go through on top of the emotional toll of the loss. Sending you hugs.

@sienna221 omg yes, you nailed it with that list. I also found the physical part of the MC a little bit barbaric, like my RE basically told me to sit on the toilet as much as possible and flush whatever comes out. 😢 “Whatever comes out” is my baby. So no, I did not flush it.

@bumblebee0210 your therapist sounds very wise. That’s good advice, about learning to just exist in the uncertainty. I feel like that’s the theme of 2020, and my life in general. A dear friend also reminds me that this is just a chapter in our story, and even though it feels like the climax and there's nowhere to go from here, we know this isn't where/how our story ends. It's hard to keep that perspective when you feel like you're drowning in it.

@inthewoods23 @sienna221 I think when I put the MC into FF it told me to count that as CD1 if I chose to continue charting my cycles, otherwise they had a compassionate little message about taking a break and coming back when we're ready.

@inthewoods23 it's been a while since I charted but I think one more day of high temps should give you CH, and the peaks shouldn't affect it too much. I'd say they're fairly normal, especially the first cycle following a MC. Glad to see things are going back to normal for you fairly quickly. I'll be curious to see what my temps are like (once I stop bleeding) but I doubt I'll continue temping again once we start our mock cycle.

inthewoods23 · November 2020

@kiki047 I did get a higher temp this morning and still no CHs. Even discarding those 3 peaks didn't change predictions. However, when I changed Sunday morning's OPK to a positive (Premom had it at 0.93, close enough), I get solid CH for Monday. If I had to guess, I probably would have gotten the actual peak had I tested again Sunday afternoon. So I should be expecting AF on the 23rd.

I may or may not have convinced DH that we should do a Friday night at home and just drink up a storm. We have alcohol in the house that we never use (any wine in the house is used for cooking) so why not just play stupid drinking games like every time someone says X in a show or movie we're watching we take a drink. Maybe we'll end the night sleeping on the floor in our living room because we're too drunk to walk ourselves to the bedroom

Side topic - Just curious if anyone else is up for switching this thread back to weekly since we have a number of new participants here? We could do the week of 11/30 to start the weekly threads come December. Thoughts?

kiki047 · November 2020

@inthewoods23 I'd be game for a weekly thread. I'm still in limbo so I'm mostly hanging out in here and Randoms while I just lurk the other threads.

sienna221 · November 2020

@inthewoods23 weekly thread sounds good to me too.

And same @kiki047...just in the waiting game/limbo. Still turning a positive HPT and still turning a positive OPK. 🤦‍♀️

inthewoods23 · November 2020

@kiki047 I figured by waiting a few weeks you and a few others would be closer to having your first cycle post-MC (assuming your cycles are regular right away). I remember for a brief period of time there was a benched/TTA thread but I feel like anyone can still participate fairly regularly with the randoms, GTKYs, and other weekly threads.

@sienna221 how many days now have you had positive OPKs? That's been since the weekend or so right? Are the OPKs pretty consistent in color?

sienna221 · November 2020

@inthewoods23 yea, at least since November 8th...that’s when I posted about it on here. So at least 5 days. The color has maybe faded a little according to the T/C Ratio reading...but still positive. Posted pic below for reference as I started to keep track of them a few days ago in Premom and Femometer apps.

bumblebee0210 · November 2020

@inthewoods23 Yes-- three months. I was going nuts. We didn't catch it right away so it also wasn't clear at first whether I was pregnant again, or whether I still had hcg from the miscarriage.... It was not very fun. I was *really* worried about it happening again but I had a D&C with ultrasound and I think they gat everything. My betas still fell slowly but I had a period about 4 weeks after D&C, so that was reassuring (bhcg was still 16 at day 3 tests).

@kiki047 I totally agree about the "this is just a chapter". That's a great way to put it.

@sienna221. My opks were similarly ambiguous post-loss. I think it's the hcg, or some other weird hormonal hangover. It does go back to normal!

TTCAL November 2020

Re: TTCAL November 2020

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