IF Testing & Treatment w/o 9.14

inthewoods23 · September 2020

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been):

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):

How are things going?:

Any questions?:

GTKY: what's your favorite cool/cold weather accessory?

legallykate · September 2020

Tags from Friday/the weekend:

@inthewoods23 Ugh I’m sorry about the morph results. Are you talking to your RE about the results/plan?

@ramzlau Hope your follow up appointment goes well today and there are 2-3 perfect lead follies!

@misshelen86 I really hope your left ovary comes down and your doc is able to get to all those follies. 6 on the right is great though!

@keikilove I’m sorry your ER wasn’t everything you had hoped. I agree with @misshelen86 that it is okay to be disappointed, and that’s what we are all here for. But I will keep all things crossed for your 3 embryos!

Diagnosis (if you've been): AMA/DOR

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): N/A

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Hopefully FET

How are things going?: I'm all over the place. I go back in on Thursday for another lining check, but that will be CD21 and it is hard for me to believe I won't have ovulated by then even if it is rare on estradiol. I am still having wicked side effects and just don't know if I could put myself through this again if we have to cancel this cycle. If it were just the headaches and fatigue that would be one thing, but the brain fog has made it so hard for me to work, and as y'all know work is kind of life for me. I also need to call the nurses today because I am worried that the generic estradiol pills I got don't dissolve as well vaginally as name brand Estrace and thus aren't helping. So yeah, trying to remain hopeful but struggling to.

Any questions?: Nope

GTKY: what's your favorite cool/cold weather accessory? UGGs! I am a basic B, lol.

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@legallykate we have an appointment to discuss all our results on Wednesday. I'm already expecting them to say an IUI isn't worth it.

Diagnosis (if you've been): unexplained, low morph

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): redo of baseline testing (complete), measles vaccine (complete), just gotta figure out what the treatment plan is, likely just moving forward with a FET.

How are things going?: I'll label myself as just okay today. DH and I had some talks yesterday that I wasn't really comfortable with. He's already come to terms with being childless and that really hurts my soul. I feel really alone.

Any questions?: what do you do when you and YH are not on the same page?

GTKY: what's your favorite cool/cold weather accessory? I really want to talk about my love for beanie hats but DH's attitude towards the whole IF thing just makes me too sad to discuss

legallykate · September 2020

@inthewoods23 I am so sorry for the not great talks with YH. Do you think he's maybe just feeling bad about his SA results and could be shutting down as a defense mechanism? When MH and I seem to be diverging in how we are feeling about things, I just try to remind him (and myself) the importance of us being a team in this and moving forward in a way we are both comfortable with. I think it's okay for one person to be less enthusiastic about the process at times as long as we recognize we are a team and no one is doing anything they really don't want to. I hope YH comes around after you speak with the doctor on Wednesday.

misshelen86 · September 2020

@legallykate I’m keeping everything crossed for a good lining for you and that you haven’t ovulated! That sucks about all the side effects. Brain fog sounds awful. Is a natural FET an option if this cycle is cancelled?

@inthewoods23 That sounds like a very heavy conversation. I’m so sorry you aren’t on the same page. Is he still willing to continue treatment? Couples counselling is a thought if you’re both feeling really stuck. We had to do a mandatory session before starting IVF and then I got a free counselling session during COVID and DH joined me for part of it. We talked about how important communication was and making sure that we each felt heard. Since then, we spend 10 minutes together each day talking. Either while we are out for a walk or over a cup of tea. We each get 5 minutes to talk about whatever is on our minds. I talk about IF the entire time. DH usually talks about work but now every once in a while he will talk about how he feels with IF. I think these talks have really helped us stay on the same page and make compromises since we know how the other is feeling. He was very ambivalent before we started IVF and then eventually came around and wanted to go ahead with it.

Diagnosis (if you've been): MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WFER

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): IVF!

How are things going?: Things are going well overall. I had my ultrasound yesterday and things look okay but unfortunately my left ovary is above my uterus so the dr thought it might be a challenge to access it during ER. I’m feeling a bit bloated but not bad at all. I have my next ultrasound tomorrow.. hoping my ovary has moved into place and my little follies start catching up!

Also my sister really pissed me off this weekend.
*TW* pregnancy/ triggering comments about IVF

My sister (who is currently pregnant without assistance) told me that she thinks she wants to do IVF with her next pregnancy so that she can choose the gender. I almost flipped out on her but instead I told her that she has no idea how hard IVF is financially, emotionally and physically. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to put themselves through this just so they could have the gender of their choosing. Also, IVF isn’t a guarantee. It makes me so angry when people just assume that IVF is a quick fix.

Any questions?: Not today

GTKY: what's your favorite cool/cold weather accessory? A really cozy pair of boots that DH bought me last Christmas

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@legallykate frankly, I don't even think he really wanted to go the IVF route and the failed transfer just solidified his belief that he's never going to be a parent. If I want to do another transfer he will let me, but that does leave me feeling like I don't have his full support and that sucks.

@misshelen86 I think couples counselling is something I would like to discuss with him. He knows that it will take me VERY long to come to terms being childless. We haven't talked about adoption in much detail but the general thought is that we wouldn't want to do it. We want biological or nothing at all. And WTF to your sister!! I did choose to select our embryo's sex for our transfer, but that's completely different from going through a process and procedure that is completely unnecessary because you can conceive naturally with a 50/50 shot. Who the hell would want to spend $20k+ when they don't need to?

keikilove · September 2020

Diagnosis (if you've been): RPL, Elevated Natural Killer cells & activity (resolved), 3 blood-clotting disorders, AMA, DOR

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WFET!

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Fresh transfer is tomorrow!

How are things going?: As well as can be. Got the call this morning that one embryo stalled development overnight. But the other two are excellent & have the best grading! Since we only have 2 left we aren’t going to risk trying to get them to Day 5 for biopsy/testing/freezing. We will transfer both embabies tomorrow morning.🤞🏽💗🙏🏽

Any questions?: NATM

GTKY: what's your favorite cool/cold weather accessory? Soft sweatpants for in the house, hands down. I despise cold weather so if I’m somewhere that’s cold and I have to be outside, there is no accessory that can make up for the misery of cold weather. However, I do like nice sleek leather driving gloves in cool weather. Bougie, I know.😆

@legallykate Oh my goodness, I’m sooo sorry the estradiol is doing such a number on you! That sounds awful. Let’s just pray that you haven’t ovulated by Thursday & that your lining has gotten to the ideal thickness for the transfer!🙏🏽 Nobody’s got time for more of that estradiol side effect nonsense. Also, thank you for the sweet words. I definitely gave myself a few hours of pity party before being grateful for what we do have. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you all to share these ups and downs with.💗

@misshelen86 FX that everything falls perfectly into place for tomorrow’s U/S!🤞🏽! I’m so glad that you’re feeling good about everything! Thinking positively is half the battle. Sorry for your sister’s asinine comment. She clearly has no idea what this process is actually like. I would’ve been pissed too.

@inthewoods23 I am so sorry for the tough conversations over the weekend. That sounds very difficult emotionally and mentally. I hope YH would be open to therapy too so you both can get on the same page about how you’re feeling. Sending you hugs!💓 Also, Thank you for the kind words & hugs you sent me about my weekend update. I appreciate you. Re: your question for the group: What we do when DH & I aren’t on the same page: it probably isn’t healthy, but we don’t speak to each other for awhile. That obviously would not help your situation at all. Spoiler because this isn’t supposed to be all about me LOL.

I’m very skilled at communication (my personality tests & work evaluations actually confirm this bold statement Hahahah) and he is highly unskilled. He reverts to yelling & bringing things up from the past anytime he feels defensive. I think I’ve shared plenty here—probably too much!— about how he drives me bonkers when he isn’t being his usual amazing supportive self. After things have cooled off we sit down for a civilized conversation. Sometimes it leads to a good outcome, sometimes we just have to agree to disagree.

ruby696 · September 2020

*lurking*
@keikilove YGPM

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@keikilove I know we've said it multiple times wondering if we're married to the same person

but you are totally like DH and I'm like YH. It honestly is a much easier conversation after I've spewed my nonsense defensive words before calming down for a better conversation. Also I love your answer for the cold weather accessory considering you're in HI

What even is considered cold over there? 50 degrees? Haha

ramzlau · September 2020

Diagnosis (if you've been): Unexplained

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): IUI #5 with Letrozole and Gonal F

How are things going?: ultrasound this morning showed 1 follicle at 17 mm and one at 14 mm, so happy that it isn’t more. I did research last week and the success rate after 4 IUIs is pretty low so I don’t have a lot of hope for this cycle, but everything seems to be lining up well. I have an acupuncture appointment for Thur and IUI is scheduled for Friday unless I ovulate early.

Any questions?: NATM

GTKY: what's your favorite cool/cold weather accessory? It doesn’t really get cold here, but when we travel someplace cold some cozy socks to keep my feet warm around the house. I hate having cold feet.

@keikilove Sending all the cozy vibes for those embabies to snuggle right in! GL!

@misshelen86 I need a picture of those boots! Boots are my weakness!

@inthewoods23 Sorry for what sounds like an emotionally draining conversation. You might be feeling lonely, but you aren’t alone in those feelings. I second the recommendation for couples therapy. It drastically improved our communication and has helped us through our IF journey. I think many insurances are covering therapy through teledoc, so maybe that is an option?

@legallykate Thank you for the well wishes! They seem to have worked! Sending them back to you for your lining check on Thursday!

misshelen86 · September 2020

@inthewoods23 That’s good that you guys are on the same page with both wanting biological children or not at all. I found our few counselling sessions we had together really helpful, so I hope it’s something you guys consider if you aren’t able to come to a compromise! And I agree with you, it’s one thing if you are going through IVF already to choose your child’s gender.. but to go through IVF just for that purpose? It boggles my mind that people even consider that!

@keikilove So sorry that one of the embryos didn’t make it. I am excited you have 2 really good quality ones though! GL with your transfer today!!!

@ramzlau My boots are still packed up but I’ll see if I can find a pic online for you! Interesting question about whether yoga could help the ovary move down.. I have been doing some poses to increase blood flow to my ovaries/uterus so maybe that could help? I’ll be keeping everything crossed for your IUI! Sending hugs and positive vibes

@emeraldduchess and @kiki047 Been thinking of you ladies and hope you are doing well

I had my ultrasound this morning and things are looking good.I have another ultrasound tomorrow morning and then probably triggering either tomorrow night or Thursday for retrieval on Friday or Saturday!! Results in spoiler:

Right side has 7 follies between 8-16 mm
Left side has 4 follies between 13-17 mm
There were also a couple other smaller ones they didn’t measure. My left ovary has moved down a bit so they don’t think retrieval should be an issue, however it could apparently move back up so we’ll see.
Also got my husband’s last SA results and it is so much better!
Count 19 mill/mL
Motility 70% (up from 20%!!!)
Morph 14%
I’m just over the moon with these excellent results. It’s about time we got some good news. It’s been such a roller coaster. I cried happy tears when I got to my car. It’s our 2 year wedding anniversary so this was the best gift ever!!

kiki047 · September 2020

@legallykate Will put this in a spoiler because it's long:

my FET wasn't until CD24 which is late even for me, but my RE assured me that the estradiol will prevent me from ovulating much like BCP does (and I am/was on a much higher dose than any BCP made today). He also said that for a FET it doesn't actually matter if you ovulate because they will simulate the conditions using estrogen/progesterone supplementation, which they can manipulate as needed.
I also wondered how on earth those generic blue estradiol smurf pills could possibly be doing anything useful all up in my lady parts when it feels like it just comes out as discharge, but @mvt2003 reassured me that the majority of the components of pills are just filler, and that it is more effective to transmit the hormones through the cell walls right up against your cervix/ute than if you were to swallow it and have to synthesize it through your digestive tract. By the time my transfer rolled around my estradiol dose was up to 4mg 4x a day (two of which were done as suppositories), plus an estrogen patch to have a continuous supply at all times. So try not to stress too much about that, it sounds like you're on the right track! Do you have a date yet or you won't find out until Thursday? They set mine 3 weeks out and worked backwards from there.

@inthewoods23 I'm so sorry you and YH aren't on the same page these days. That's so tough when you're going through such a huge life event like this. I wondered the same thing as kate, maybe it's just a defense mechanism so he doesn't get his hopes up and is just thinking worse-case scenario. MH says that a lot too, that he feels like he's not 'meant' to be a Dad. I think I told y'all this last year but when we first started the IVF process he kept picking fights with me for stupid reasons and when we finally talked it out he admitted that he was trying to give me an "out" in case I changed my mind and didn't want to be stuck with an IF husband with MFI.

Men process their emotions differently from women, so I hope you can get through to him enough to be able to come up with a plan that you're both ok with

@misshelen86 OMG your sister's comment just about set me off.... Wow, how unbelievably insensitive and shallow. Chrissy Teigen was criticized many years ago for trying to have "designer babies" and she had some pretty wicked comebacks so I'm channeling my inner CT right now on your behalf. Not cool sissy, NOT cool.

but I hope things continue to progress well for your ER! My left ovary also hides behind my fibroid so it was virtually inaccessible during my ER. They just got as many as they could reach on the right and left the rest. Apparently I was making faces and squirming even through the anaesthesia so my RE stopped digging around in there. *disclaimer, I remember nothing from the ER and felt nothing. I also randomly lifted my arms in the air like a zombie mid-ER so they pushed more drugs lol.
@keikilove YGPM but sending you more love here!!! Thinking about you today!!

@ramzlau FX for Friday!!! Cold feet are the worst! I've got ugg slippers on right now and my feet are still cold. I also live in Canada, so take that with a grain of salt

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS, MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW, 7dp5dt

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): 2nd FET was a week ago today!

How are things going?: Great! The transfer itself went perfectly. We didn't have our usual RE, it was the clinic director who did it, but honestly he's one of the best so we were totally ok with that. He took the time to sit down with us beforehand and go through my protocol and make sure we didn't have any questions. He said he has a good feeling about this one because PGT-A normal embryos should result in a THB within 2 transfers, so there is absolutely no reason why this shouldn't work. Our perfect 6AA embryo was already hatching before the transfer, I felt nothing and it went in smoothly, and he said it should implant within 24hrs. We're taking that to heart and just manifesting all the PG positivity we can muster. Also, I think I'm finally getting into a good groove with the PIO so I'm a lot less sore and it really isn't anywhere near as bad as it seems like it would be.
All that said, it was a stressful week leading up to the FET. TLDR: my lining just wasn't where they/we wanted it to be so we upped all my meds and hoped for the best. My RE figures we'll just throw *everything* at it and see if any of it sticks. FX!

The long version is, my lining as of Wednesday the week before my transfer was only at 6.1mm, where 6mm is the lowest they'll consider for a transfer. And that was at CD18, after having already been on 6mg of estradiol/day. We upped my estradiol to 8mg/day, 2 doses of which were to be taken vaginally. My scan as of Saturday showed my lining only went up to 6.3mm, so we added an estrogen patch as well. On Sunday my RE tried to give us the option of cancelling the whole cycle before they thawed the embryo, so we wouldn't "waste" one in subpar conditions, but we've waited SO long and fought so hard to get to this point we figured we'd risk it and just go ahead. We never did have another scan before the transfer because of labour day Monday so I don't know where my lining was at by the time we transferred, however he did say it was compacting nicely and he could see the trilaminar pattern so it's possible that maybe I just have a thin lining to begin with, and not all women are built the same so who's to say that even if we did scrap this cycle that I wouldn't end up with the same results next time. So we had his blessing to go ahead, and now we wait.

Any questions?: Not that I can think of.

GTKY: what's your favorite cool/cold weather accessory? Scarves/shawls. I live in Canada, it's cold 6 months of the year (we had a frost warning last night). I also get mad hot flashes, so layers, layers and more layers = scarves!

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@ramzlau yes there is nothing worse than cold feet! I kind of wish I could do acupuncture before a FET but I know our insurance doesn't cover it

I know all my current therapy sessions are covered (except the first one that was "diagnostic" I guess). If I had known they would always be covered I would have started therapy years ago!

@misshelen86 crossing fingers that ovary stays down! Are there any exercises you can do to help it drop like they suggest for helping drop/rotate babies in the womb?

@kiki047 yes it's definitely him protecting himself. He certainly wants to be a dad but he's already accepted the reality of not being one. So there's some hope on his side I guess. The comment from your doctor that normal embryos should result in a THB within 2 transfers makes me feel better about moving forward. Isn't the success rate only 60% anyway? It's not a guarantee. The nurses at my first clinic said adding the GF and DF diet worked every time for patients that tested normal for everything but didn't have a successful first transfer. I'm terrified of being that first person that it doesn't work, but I should just keep positive! Negativity won't help! I take it you don't plan on testing at all?

ramzlau · September 2020

@kiki047 Sending all the good wishes and vibes! And as much as I love visiting Canada, it is way too cold too much of the year for me to survive there. There isn’t enough heaters to combat that much cold.

@inthewoods23 I was just reading in our IVF packet how much diet changes can affect outcomes. It is all good news for what you have done! Hope your H can be supportive until he can find his hope again.

@misshelen86 Yay for good news! And Happy anniversary!

acleverusername · September 2020

@legallykate All those side effects sound terrible and not feeling hopeful about this cycle would . But it sounds like @kiki047 was in a similar situation so I'm hoping that you don't ovulate before Thu, that you lining thickens nicely, and that your transfer can be scheduled ASAP. FX.

@inthewoods23 Yowsers... it sounds like there's a lot of deep feelings / emotions that ought to be addressed. I can only imagine how YH is feeling and I bet he probably doesn't have many ppl he can open up to. I hope that he'll be willing to try therapy with you. Sending you hugs. If you're feeling up to it later this week, I'd love to hear your opinions on beanie hats. In the meanwhile, wishing you a productive follow-up visit.

@misshelen86 I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your yoga exercises have helped the left ovary drop; will wait anxiously for your next update. Also, WTF your sister's statement? I'm not sure how close you are with her, or how outspoken you are as an individual, but... did you say anything to her about it?

@keikilove crossing every part of my body that can be crossed and hoping that your FET went well. Wow -- that all happened so quickly! (And I am so sorry that the 3rd embaby that didn't make it. 😢) Btw, it's easy to tell that you're an excellent communicator by the way to communicate here. It also sounds like you and YH have figured out a good way to work out your problems, though I do hope that he doesn't say anything too hurtful in his short-term outbursts.

@ramzlau Yay for 2 good follies! It's true that success rate after 4 IUI's declines (well, it basically flatlines), but consider the fact that you're adding acupuncture to the equation this time around! Maybe/hopefully that'll be the missing piece. Good luck on Friday; will be thinking of you. I also totally agree with you re: warm socks. Whenever I'm feeling cold, putting on a pair of fuzzy socks usually solves the problem.

@kiki047 Welcome back! We missed you last week. It's so good to hear that your FET went well (and it's so nice of you to share your experience with @legallykate; hopefully it goes the same way for her.) That's what I love about this community... there's such a wealth of personal experiences here, that almost any question can be answered. When do you go in for your beta test? OOOOOhhh I'm so nervous/excited for you! Crossing everything! (And 100% agree with you about men not processing things in the same way as women.... and it creating problems for the relationship; glad to hear that you and YH worked things out; though I guess it's selfless of him to have been wanting to give you an "out"?)

AFM...

Diagnosis (if you've been): AMA, Unexplained; possibly MFI too (though not officially diagnosed)

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): IUI was last week; now waiting.

How are things going?: I'm feeling WAY better about the IUI debacle of last week than I did last week, and that's thanks to all of you. Thank you for sharing your personal IUI experiences with me. 🙏🏻

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/w1/8aw4fgdpzqh3.gif

I realized that I was feeling really awful because I thought that none of the positive changes we've made in our lifestyles since June had any effect on DH's sperm. Alas, then @misshelen86 helped me clue in that those changes didn't start happening until mid-July, so we won't know if they had a positive effect until 3-3.5 months later! (Why does it take so long for sperm to mature!?) Anyway, although I'm trying to remain optimistic for this cycle, we do have next steps in place which include a f/u with our RE to see if IUI is really the right thing for us (9/22); and then MH also has an urology consult on 9/30. I'm trying not to think of different combinations / permutations of treatment yet, even though that's my natural inclination. I also started working with a therapist that specializes in fertility issues, so I have another session with her tomorrow.

Any questions?: Does anyone have experience with men taking Clomid to improve sperm count & motility?

GTKY: what's your favorite cool/cold weather accessory? Don't laugh but... I basically live in a Snuggie. I bought one in April and it's perfect for keeping warm in our relatively cold office. I do all my work calls in my Snuggie (with video on). Haha. No one's called me out on it yet.

legallykate · September 2020

@misshelen86 So glad things have been going well, hope today’s u/s goes well today too and you get to trigger, so exciting! Sorry about your sister. I’m spoilering because this might be triggering (similar situation):

I have a friend who did IVF when we were in our 20s because she had had two girls and wanted a boy. At the time I thought that seemed extreme and now that I’m going through it myself by no choice of my own I think it’s beyond crazy that she did that. And sadly she ended up getting divorced before they got to use any of the embryos they got so now they are just all banked somewhere

@keikilove Hope the transfer went well yesterday! Keeping everything crossed for both your embabies!

@ramzlau Yay so glad you have two great sized follies. FX for Friday!

@kiki047 Thank you SO much for sharing, that is really reassuring that you were able to move forward and transfer despite your lining taking longer. I am crossing everything for you in your TWW. I don’t have a date yet but might try to go in today instead of tomorrow and get an answer one way or another about next week and what day so I can plan accordingly.

@acleverusername So glad you are feeling better about your IUI and have a plan for moving forward – but really hope you don’t need it!

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@ramzlau I am down 20lbs since going on the GF and DF diet so that's definitely something! I roll my eyes because I asked about diet before we started any IUIs and IVF and the answer I got was "no, diet wouldn't affect anything". Yeah okay lol thanks for the contradicting response. Granted, they only have patients do the diet when timing and lining are all normal after a failed FET which I'm sure is only a small number of people.

@acleverusername I'm pretty sure DH has mentioned that he'd rather keep it bottled up inside (typical him). Ok fine, be that way dude. Not that I would want to be talking about it all day every day so it's fine to me if he doesn't want to talk about it. Oh! And beanie hats are just my absolute fav!!!

Indoors, outdoors, I don't care. When the weather is colder I like to keep my head warm all the time. I'm such a hipster in the fall/winter haha. Glad you're feeling much better about your IUI! I also have a Snuggie. Don't use it much, but it's an off brand version that is the soft kitty from Big Bang Theory lol. I think my problem with them is that the blanket isn't thick enough to my liking!

My follow up with the 2nd RE is today at 4 so we'll see what she says. I'm already expecting her to say to just move forward with a FET. DH's SA didn't really change (besides maybe count, not sure on motility) so I doubt IUI would be any more successful than it was 2 years ago.

misshelen86 · September 2020

@kiki047 Sounds like an uncomfortable experience for your ER.. glad you don’t remember it. I did LOL reading about your zombie arms. FX so hard that your transfer was a success!! Are you going to wait for your beta?

@inthewoods23 I should look into what people do to make baby drop.. you never know! Although it seemed to be in a good position today once he pressed on it. GL with your F/U appointment today!

@ramzlau Thanks friend!

@acleverusername Glad to hear you’re feeling better! Hope things go well with your counselling session and upcoming appointments! My H wasn’t a candidate for clomid because his hormone levels were normal. Motility boost supplements made a big difference to his motility though! And lots of antioxidant rich foods (blueberries, pomegranate, nuts, avocado, etc.). Check with your doctor before starting any supplements though.

@legallykate I just can’t believe people would go through all that just to have a child of a certain sex! FX for your ultrasound tomorrow!

AFM.. we are triggering tonight for retrieval Friday morning!!!! I can’t believe we made it here finally. I’m super bloated today but I’m hoping this will all be worth it! I’ll put my follicle count in a spoiler:

R- 7 follies between 15-23
L- 7 follies between 13-21
Dr expects me to have 8-10 mature eggs.. 🤞🤞🤞

kiki047 · September 2020

@inthewoods23 I'll POAS at some point before my beta, but pretty terrified at this point so putting it off as long as possible. I told MH I don't want any excuse for a squinter (then had to explain what that meant). I also asked about GF/DF diet when we first met with our RE 2 years ago and he gave me a "pffft". He didn't deny that it could help with inflammation but denied that it would do anything for us. Fast forward 2 years, during covid he said while we were in limbo we could try going GF/DF if we wanted to try on our own, but we probably ended up eating more bread this year than we ever have lol.
@ramzlau thank you! Haha yes, I do often ask myself why we live here... the summers are humid, the winters are frigid... I've threatened on many occasions to just up and move to Hawaii. Retirement goals!
@acleverusername this community is the best! I've been here for over 2 years now, and I can say with absolute certainty that these ladies are the main reason I've gotten this far in our TTC without just completely falling apart. Y'all are my people! And while I'm never happy to see anyone join our IF group, I am glad to have met you along the way.

will also be extra glad for the distractions because my beta isn't until next Tuesday at 14dp5dt. Torture! (Oh, and paging @mvt2003, I think her DH took Clomid)
@legallykate FX for you! Hopefully they were able to see you today so you can get some more answers!
@misshelen86 YAY!! So excited for you friend!! My RE sent me out into the hall before my ER to do some jumping jacks and try to shimmy my left ovary down further, LOL. I felt like a complete idiot but I wasn't huffing and puffing enough when I went back in so he made me do 5 more jumps on the spot. I feel like he was pulling my leg but he seemed dead serious so... maybe it's worth a shot! Haha!

AFM, I'm SS like a crazy person and thinking is getting really difficult, the brain fog is ridiculous right now. I will POAS at some point before my beta on Tuesday the 22nd but unclear exactly when I'll cave. I don't usually test unless I'm late, and I've only ever been late a handful of times. Maybe this weekend.

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@misshelen86 there must be some kind of yoga move that can help!

@kiki047 same girl same. I regret testing at 5dpt last year. And then idiot me tested with a dollar store test in the afternoon 6dpt so my entire week was ruined.

inthewoods23 · September 2020

Appointment update - as expected, our best chances are doing another FET. Fine by me, hard pill to swallow for DH. Knowing my clinic, I would expect a transfer in mid December, maybe early January with the holidays.

misshelen86 · September 2020

@inthewoods23 Hope YH comes around to the idea. We might be transfer buddies since I’m hoping to do the FET in November or December!

legallykate · September 2020

@inthewoods23 Hope YH is able to get excited for the FET by December/January – that’s crazy they will make you wait that long though, you can't push for sooner?

@misshelen86 Yayayay for triggering and ER on Friday and great counts!

@kiki047 I’m impressed with your willpower and continuing to keep everything crossed for whenever you decide to test

AFM, my lining is still not ready It went from 5.6 to 6.6 and my doc won’t start progesterone until it hits 7, so I am staying on the same dose of estrogen since there was some improvement and I go back again a week from today. He thinks it will be good to go next week and doesn’t think I will ovulate before then and said there is no connection between how long it takes to get your lining thick enough and success rate of transfer so I’m trying to put faith in that but really I can’t help but have bad vibes about this whole cycle. Best case scenario I could transfer as early as 9/28 (which would be CD 32 which seems beyond crazy to me since my cycles aren’t even that long) and then I have a HUGE work filing on 9/30 that will almost certainly mean staying up until 2 am (the filing deadline) that night which will majorly suck when I am wanting to relax at 1-2dpo. So yeah. I’m mostly just a weepy angry mess and MH is wisely avoiding me.

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@misshelen86 yay transfer buddies!

@legallykate every time I've called on CD1 it's always been like 2 months before the actual transfer date. Last year when I called on CD1 (late June) after my ER my FET was scheduled for early September due to bookings they already had plus my RE was out for at least a week on vacation sometime in July. With the 2nd FET that got cancelled, my CD1 was mid-late January and got scheduled for 3/31. My clinic always does a cycle or 2 of BCP before the FET cycle - anywhere from 18-45 days of BCP. It's a pain in the ass how long the wait is, but I sort of like it. I think the holidays might easily push it to January even though I'd be calling sometime next week - but we'll see!

ramzlau · September 2020

@inthewoods23 I know it can be hard news, but also yay that you have a plan now and can do something. That is always such a relief to me. I hope they get you scheduled ASAP when you call.

@legallykate Boo that the lining isn’t there yet, but at least you are seeing improvement and it doesn’t effect outcome of cycle.

@misshelen86 GL over the next few days!

@kiki047 Keep hanging in there! SS is such a mind game! Sending you all the good vibes!

AFM: Update in spoiler because long rant.

I went for ultrasound this morning and one follie was 22 mm, and the other is 15 mm. They messed up and forgot to schedule us our Covid tests so we can do IUI on Friday. I was so mad because I asked Monday morning when I was there, and emailed Monday night to remind them when I didn’t see it scheduled in the portal. Of course this morning at 7:30 am they decided we had to have it done by 11:30 am today. H was still 1.5 hours from the clinic and had a doctors appointment this morning so he couldn’t make it. It was a huge mess and tonight at 6 pm the doctor finally called to say let’s just move the IUI to Saturday. So I trigger tomorrow and go in for Covid. I can’t tell if I have unreasonable expectations or they are just really really horrible with logistics. They sent my prescription for gonal f to the wrong pharmacy 3x (3 different pharmacies including one on the other side of the country) on the day I needed it. I ended up calling them to remind them to send it at all (last month they forgot until pharmacy was closed). I know I have vented here before, and every time they say they will make it right and fail again. Maybe my expectations are just too high.

acleverusername · September 2020

@legallykate a 1cm increase in lining is great! Hopefully it'll grow another 1.5-2cm before your appointment next week! Any chance you can get extra help at work to help you relax leading up to your transfer? Sounds like you have a lot of stressors right now. If wish I could help; alas, sending you virtual hugs and positive thoughts of support in lieu.

@inthewoods23 I am sorry that IUI isn't an option of you; but like @ramzlau said... you'll call next week, schedule the date, and the clock will start ticking towards that goal! (Although it really sucks that your clinic is so booked up. Also 45 days of BCP sounds.... not great; especially not after all the symptoms @legallykate
has been reporting.) YH and MH's coping strategies are the same: bottle it up, and push it deep down so that it never comes up. He's actually verbalized it to me. 🤣 Also, thank you for sharing your love of beanie hats.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/76/bua4s69c7hsn.gif

@misshelen86 those are great numbers! Good luck with the ER! Re: supplements, DH – upon doctor's recommendation – Ubiquinol, Selenium, Methyl Folate, Zinc, L-Carnitine, and Vitamin D3... but this wasn't until late July/early Aug. So, we won't know if that's had a positive effect until end-Oct/beg Nov. His hormones were on the low end of normal, and we had already contemplated some medication for him with the RE but wanted to see how the first couple of IUIs went.

@kiki047 It's been nice to meet you on here too! I'm crossing my fingers that this is your cycle. SS is such a mind game. Argh! Hang in there.... Saturday will be Day 11 / Sunday Day 12, so testing on either of those days would probably be OK. Until then STAY STROOOOOONG. (I might shoot @mvt2003 a PM to ask about her Clomid experience; thanks for the hook up!)

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/ds/8wfa7i0lhfrw.gif

@ramzlau girl... you ARE NOT demanding. Your clinic sounds very disorganized and I'm sorry that's adding undue stress on what's already such a stressful process. Do you have to stay with this clinic for IVF? I just feel like you need to be 100% OK with the clinic that's giving you care during this sensitive time, and those kind of shenanigans just wouldn't fly with me. But, sometime you just don't have a choice. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy your acupuncture appointment tomorrow (is it still tomorrow?) Let me know how you feel. I was talking to a friend about it yesterday, and she just started going as part of her stim plan; she said she's bored of her mind / counting the minutes until it's over. Meanwhile... I basically go for a nap. 😴🤣

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@ramzlau DH and I are both engineers so we both like to have answers to causes. He probably struggles with that most. We bypassed the morphology issue with ICSI yet we still failed. I checked our records and apparently both boy embryos we lost were the bottom 2 in terms of quality (one was day 6, the other day 5, not sure which was the transferred one) so this next FET will be using our best embryo (a day 5 too). I can't believe you've dealt with so much crap with your clinic! Would you consider switching clinics?

@acleverusername I don't think my area has many options for REs so I can imagine they have lots of patients. It's also part of a large medical group. I know one other hospital/medical group is not covered by my insurance so that limits my options too. When I was searching for a 2nd opinion I think my insurance listed 3 REs within a 50 mile radius or something. So yeah... The 45 days of BCP would be split into 2 packs or so. I think the first FET cycle was 20 days of active pills, withdrawal bleed, another 20 days of BCP, withdrawal bleed, FET. It allows for time to do a saline sono and any BW that needs to be updated. I just counted from CD1 after my ER to the date of the FET and that was 81 days. The FET cycle that got cancelled would have been 75 days. So yeah... easily mid-December at the earliest, but I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up early January with the holidays. Who knows how many extra people they're dealing with since they cancelled a month and a half of appointments plus any new patients that started during the summer. More beanie talk - I asked for a golden/mustard colored winter hat to go along with my olive colored winter coat for Christmas last year and got this one from my sister and it's probably my favorite of all the hats I have for winter now.
https://www.amazon.com/C-C-Thick-Fleece-Beanie-Mustard/dp/B074HNPJ2Y/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&qid=1600357679&refinements=p_n_size_browse-vebin:2343364011&s=apparel&smid=A3BHZ5GPLYZOEV&sr=1-3

ETA: omfg I just remembered that my due date if we had done the FET back in March (and had success) would have been a mid-December due date and now my FET will likely be around that time. Why does life work in such weird ways.

misshelen86 · September 2020

@kiki047 Sending you positive vibes friend

@legallykate Sorry your lining wasn’t ready yet and the timing won’t be optimal with work. It sucks when things don’t go how we planned

Hoping your lining is nice and thick next week!

@ramzlau That is sooo frustrating!! Your clinic sounds pretty disorganized. I don’t think your expectations are too high at all. Hopefully the extra day when give the smaller follicle a chance to get a bit bigger though! Sending you hugs!

@acleverusername Sounds like YH is on all the right supplements.. a lot of those are in motility boost. FX for a really good SA in a couple months!

@inthewoods23 That is interesting about the timing of your FET.. life certainly does work in weird ways!

Trigger went well last night! We are all set for retrieval tomorrow morning! I had to show you guys this gif because it made me LOL

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/u2/giik4ymfdc2v.png

ramzlau · September 2020

@inthewoods23 If this is too personal, just tell me. Just curious. How do you chose which embryo to transfer? Or does the doctor? And I can relate and understand how frustrating it is to just not have the answers when all science says it should work. I hope this embryo is your THB! Love that beanie btw!

@acleverusername Yes the acupuncture is today! Excited to try it! I could use a nap! lol

@misshelen86 Yay for smooth trigger! Now for the retrieval!

AFM: Of course my body threw a curve ball and decided to ovulate last night without a trigger. I emailed my RE last night and she double checked with a blood draw this morning, and sure enough it is blazing high she said. So IUI is moved back to tomorrow, but we don't know what time. And although we did Covid test this morning, the results wont be back, so now we will do it again tomorrow with the rapid test. But I am so relieved that I tested last night and caught the surge so the timing could be adjusted. Since we are skipping the trigger I won't have any annoying symptoms from it too!

misshelen86 · September 2020

@ramzlau That’s great you caught your LH surge and can go ahead with tomorrow!! GL tomorrow!!

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/5f/sqf2qsxr0y5p.gif

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@misshelen86 GL tomorrow!! Hope that left ovary is in good position to have those eggs retrieved!

@ramzlau I did PGT-A testing which checks if the embryos are chromosomally normal. With that it also determines their sex. You can opt not to find out when they call to tell you how many are normal. Then when it comes to the transfer, part of the paperwork is selecting whether you want the best embryo overall, best male, or best female. There might have been a 4th option like "no opinion" so it gets left to the embryologist which one to transfer, but I can't remember. Glad you're getting the timing adjusted! GL with your IUI!

kiki047 · September 2020

Just popping in to wish @misshelen86 and @ramzlau good luck tomorrow!!! Go get 'em ladies!!!

keikilove · September 2020

@inthewoods23 HA! About your comment re: what constitutes cold weather in HI. Good guess! Yes, 50 is 🥶freezing🥶 here! We bust out the sweaters when it dips into the low 70s. We are thrilled if it gets into the high 60s around the holidays because then it actually feels like Thanksgiving/Christmas.😄 I’ve lived on the East Coast & after 4 depressing winters I vowed ‘never again’.//Hoping right along with you that your diet is the key ingredient to your success! Glad that you feel good about a FET around the holidays/Nee Year. It will be so great if you & Helen can be transfer buddies!💕

@legallykate Thank you for all the good juju! I am sorry to see your update about the delay until next week. The waiting is killer. But hopefully the bad feeling you’re having now will dissipate over the weekend & allow you to feel hopeful & ready for next week. Maybe this will give you the right timing so that the big work stuff will be out of the way by the time you transfer? It will be so wonderful if it can all just become easy and work out for the best without a lot of work stress compounding things. Sending you (((hugs)))!

@ramzlau Good luck tomorrow! It sounds promising that everything has been “lining up well”. Ditto to your cozy socks choice, and thanks for the cozy vibes!💗 Oops, saw your update in spoiler. I’m sorry for the frustration and delays. And NOOO, your expectations are not too high! Stay on top of them! And GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!!🎉

@misshelen86 What an excellent update! I was smiling from ear to ear reading your spoiler info. That’s a great way to start your trigger countdown—and on your anniversary to boot!

Sending you so many warm hugs across the universe that everything continues to go perfectly!💓💓💓Best of luck with retrieval tomorrow!

@kiki047 SO GOOD to hear from you! Of course we have all been thinking of you & hoping things are going fantastically in your TWW! Sounds like the week before FET was absolutely a nail-biter! So glad you were able to make the choice to move forward. And hooray that everything went so smoothly on transfer day! Sounds like a great experience, which must really help you feel so positive afterwards. I’ve been wondering how your PIO shots are going; glad to hear it’s getting easier! Thank you so much for the positive wishes & good energy!💗💕💗And thanks for sharing that info about the smurf pills. This is my first time doing them internally (ya know: up the cooch) and I’ve been wondering about the efficacy of this route. And o-m-g about your arms up in the air during ER!😆 I wonder if it freaks out the Dr team or if they see this often?! //Hawai’i would welcome you with open arms! Isn’t Canada expensive too? Not much of a shock to your system to move here— except the tropical weather that you love so much!😄

@acleverusername Thanks so much for your excitement! It’s contagious😊 And for your kind words about my communication. You know, it’s hard online because you never know how your intended message is coming across to the receiver. And I’m blunt sometimes so that can go all kinds of wrong.😆 Anyway, I am so happy for you that you’ve been feeling better about your IUI! Your Golden Girls gif was perfect for representing this lovely supportive group.😊 Also good to hear that you have other plans in place depending on your outcome. I can really relate to that. I know we are similar in our approaches to IF; I hope you’re feeling some relief and hope in the big picture. Also, I hope that your therapy session went well today! Is this something that YH attends too, or just for you?//I’ve heard of Clomid being prescribed for men (CNY Fertility lists it like it’s common practice) but I have no personal experience to share. ETA this graphic from CNY:

And LOL at your Snuggie!!! How has no one at work called you out on that?!😆

acleverusername · September 2020

Good luck tomorrow @misshelen86! Will be crossing everything and praying that you'll have a bountiful crop of oocytes! Also, that gif is perfect!!!

Also good luck tomorrow @ramzlau. THANK Gosh you were doing OPKs and caught you surge. Seriously, at this point, we're all probably better & know more than most doctors / nurses working in the field.

@inthewoods23 LOVE that hat. Especially the color!!! Honestly, I have a really awesome winter hat that I use whenever I travel back to Canada. Did you call the clinic? Were you able to get an appointment?

@kiki047 👋🏻How's the SS? I'm torturing myself over here. Also, fun read (not fertility related).

@keikilove that gif from 30 Rock is AMAZING! That's basically me in my home office. Lol; today I interviewed someone wearing it. This is the one I have. And not to barge in on the weather convo with @kiki047, but OMG I would totally move to Hawaii; the problem is that it's far from my parents / sister who are all in Eastern Canada. At least in SF, it's a 5.5 hour direct flight. Also.... what about YOUR update? How did the FET go? I've been anxiously waiting to hear.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/ln/2y6w3mcbddt0.gif

AFM, my one big fertility update is... it was pointed out to me today that I've been counting my O all wrong ever since I started tracking bbt. 🤦🏼‍♀️Apparently I have been off by 1 day. I know how I got there too; Premom always pins your O 1 day after your peak OPK. I didn't start using FF until May. So by then, I was already indoctrinated, and even though FF always tries to plot it on the "correct date" (lowest temp point). Also, I'm having a ridiculous week at work which is perhaps the best thing that can happen during TWW.

keikilove · September 2020

@acleverusername LOL at that gif!😄 It’s taken me all afternoon to catch up on TTGP, and just reading the IF thread took me hours into the evening to catch up and respond to. Will get my update going here shortly. All is well!😊

acleverusername · September 2020

(I also realize I wrote FET, but I really meant transfer. Although fresh also starts with "f" so it could be either. I will endeavor to be patient.)

keikilove · September 2020

Transfer Update:
I just want to thank you all again for the positive energy, well wishes, and messages you sent me before our fresh embryo transfer.💕 It really lifted my spirits and helped me feel super positive going into the procedure. You know me: I could write a novel here about every detail of the experience hahaha, but I will try to keep it somewhat brief (ha!) and readable.

ETA: Nope, it turned into a novel.😆

TL;DR
Transfer went super smoothly. I’ve been feeling amazing & super positive. We are on 14-day home quarantine after traveling (with an exception for medical appointments) so we now have a list of many house & work projects to keep us busy. My only question for you all who have been through this is: how do you decide whether to stay active in the dailies during this TWW? I’m not sure if it will feel like too much pressure or too much hyper-focus on the outcome...

The novel version:

So our morning yesterday started early with our flight back to the RE. DH had to wait outside in the rental car. We were early so I waited about 30 minutes in the waiting room, prayed & listened to fertility meditations. Then my nurse walked me down to the transfer room which was on the other wall of the embryo lab. I didn’t know I would meet the embryologist, but he came out and introduced himself as Dr. So-and-so (I don’t know why I didn’t realize they were doctors?) and verified my identity; he had amazing positive warm calming energy! He was thrilled to tell me that the embryos looked great and were both at 8 cells each, which is ideal on Day 3. Just as my RE entered the room I busted out laughing! MH had texted this hilarious message to me right before the procedure:

“Go get them eggs, girl!” (He’s still working on his terminology😄)

I also passed on his message to my RE: MH had told me to tell the doctor to “Push it, p-push it real good!” We all laughed & she said that will be her new theme song when she enters the room to do transfers. The energy was very positive as she began the procedure. First I had an hCG wash, then a brief wait for it to settle into the uterus, then they began. I watched it on the screen but couldn’t really tell what they were doing until the little embryos got dropped off, lol. She said it was super smooth and gave me a video to share w MH. Then, to my total surprise, my RE spent several minutes praying for the success of the procedure by thanking everyone who had a hand in getting us to this point, thanking the universe and angels, thanking them for me and my husband, thanking them for the nurses and embryologist, and asking the powers that be to bless these embryos and let this all result in a successful outcome. I was so touched! It wasn’t a religious prayer, but somehow exactly in line with how I go about my own spirituality. It was beautiful. I had brought a gift bag of packages of special cookies for them, plus thank-you cards. They pretend-argued about who got which bag of cookies, and which ones would be left over for the rest of the office staff. My nurse stayed with me for 20 minutes while I rested on the table; we laughed & talked. It was a surprisingly comforting experience. Then she walked me to MH outside, & we drove the short distance to check into our hotel.
Next, we had to turn right back around to an infusion center for me to get a long dose of IVIG to keep my immune system from overreacting. There’s a long story about that fiasco in the WTF Wednesday thread. I had 5 hours to lie back and relax while getting the IV. Somehow, I still did more than 10,000 steps that day, which I hope was ok for blood flow and not overdoing it! We got back to the hotel in time for sunset. It felt perfect; I put on my rainbow socks, meditated, & watched the sunset by the pool.

We ordered dinner in. Then I slept hard. We relaxed the next day at the little boutique hotel. We did walk through Waikīkī to get breakfast & eat at the beach. It was stunningly beautiful.

I spent the rest of the day lying down in the shade by the hotel pool doing affirmations, resting, and full of gratitude. There was no one else there. The whole day was magic. It all felt calm, perfect, & in harmony with the universe.🌈✨💗 We flew home that night. Somehow I still got 13,000 steps, which was probably too many. I planned to go home & settle in for a long sleep.

Of course, life doesn’t stop. I had set my out-of-office message on my work email before flying out for the transfer. Work emailed me with urgent messages at my personal email last night, so I had to stay up late dealing with that. Today I had to get blood drawn to see how I’m responding to the internal estradiol, since I’ve never done it this way before (only had it orally in the past). Right after bloodwork our attorney called about some other intense work stuff, so more work today but staying very zen while doing it. My abdomen is sensitive and a bit crampy today so I’ve barely done 5,000 steps. I’m clearly getting the message to chill out & stay put & not overdo it.

No matter how this all turns out, I feel like I had the best experience possible with the transfer itself. I’m so glad to have had you all to share this journey with. It’s not for the faint of heart, and is definitely easier to survive with a support system like you girls.💕💕💕 Sending you all so much love & gratitude! Thanks, as always, for reading my over-detailed posts!😄😘

fitzfizz · September 2020

**always lurking**

@keikilove I felt so incredibly happy and peaceful reading your novel. I hope that everything works out beautifully and that you always have this memory of how it all started!

legallykate · September 2020

@ramzlau Hope everything goes perfectly with your IUI today! So glad you caught your surge and can still go for it. WTF to your clinic about the Covid stuff, it’s been six months, get it together. I don’t think you are at all unreasonable expecting them to be more organized.

@misshelen86 Everything crossed for your retrieval today! That Pooh meme is hilarious!

@keikilove I am so glad your transfer was such a great experience. My jaw dropped reading how wonderful your doctor and embryologist and everyone were but I am not surprised your positive energy and spirituality spreads to all those around you! I really do aspire to be more like you while I go through this process. Also your pics made me want to go back to Hawaii sooo bad, we did our honeymoon in Maui and Waikiki back in 2017 and it was so beautiful and peaceful and basically the opposite of how life is right now, ha.

@acleverusername Sorry you have been having a ridiculous work week too but glad it is helping the TWW go by fast!

AFM, I did BW yesterday and the nurse called to say I have not ovulated yet (yay) but that my estrogen is very high (she said my doctor was “surprised” - I am NOT surprised since the side effects have been so bad, but its just an annoying mystery why my lining has not gotten the memo). So I am adding baby aspirin to my protocol to make sure I don’t develop a clot or anything scary like that and hoping on all hopes that it thickens by Wednesday. Thank all you ladies for your continued support, I hope you all have lovely Fridays and weekends!

gingermama29 · September 2020

Hi friends! I'm lurking this week but wanted to send love and hugs and good luck to @ramzlau and @misshelen86 today!! @keikilove so happy to hear it went well yesterday! Crossing everything for all of you. I've been thinking about all of you this week. ❤️

acleverusername · September 2020

@keikilove thank you for sharing your beautiful experience with us! It was so great to read it at the beginning of the day. I too “ really do aspire to be more like you.”

@legallykate I am sorry that your estrogen ordeal is continuing. I am praying that your health doesn’t get negatively affected by this. (Blood clots... yikes!)

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