December 2020 Moms

FB group, private group discussion

Most groups end up moving to Facebook or a private group as we start birthing our babies. 
Let’s talk about options, timing etc! 
Especially with the recent bump glitches 🙄🧐😒




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Re: FB group, private group discussion

  • karmbakarmba member
    edited September 2020
    Kudos to you for starting the conversation!  I'm pro-Facebook group, I just find the app/website to be so much easier to post.  A private group would be fine for a little while, but ultimately FB would be easier, in my opinion.  My D16 group is still going strong with about 50 members and we've gotten to be pretty good friends.

    ETA: for timing, I'm good with whenever.  I have one of the later due dates, so I'll defer to the first week of December gals.  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Me: 34 DH: 36
    Married 10/15/11
    M/C October 2014
    BFP #2 4/3/16  EDD 12/8/16  DS 11/19/16


  • Loading the player...
  • I love my Facebook group for my July 2019 bump group! We all still post and connect daily. So I’m pro-Facebook!
  • I'm pro-facebook too! my July 2018 group is still going strong as well.
    TTC History:
    Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010.
    TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
    BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
    TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
    Due date was Nov 2020
    DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
    TTC: March 2021
    IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
    IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP.  MC Jan 2022
    IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
    IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
    AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.



  • I’m fine with Facebook! I’m more comfortable with you ladies than some of the weirdos on the other forum I lurk on 😳
    Me: 36 | DH: 35 | Married: 9.17.16
    Diminished ovarian reserve
    BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
  • Pro-Facebook!
  • FB is fine with me! My J16 used it for years and now we do slack since several left FB. 
  • I've been on Facebook hiatus but I think I'm going to re-open my account and just delete a bunch of people. If I do, I'm all in 😊

    I may use this group as the last thing to actually pull me back in because there are a few local connections I'm realizing I can't keep up with any other way.
    image     image
  • I’m pro Facebook too- my Aug16 group is still going strong. @jacmkelley I think you ended up in the OTHER A16 group! (there were randomly two) and I didn't realize you were here until... right now. 
    I forget what my username was... Allisun85 maybe? 



  • I would be interested in joining a FB group. Though, I’m OK holding off on the move until a little later, as I am sure some people will not move over and I don’t want to leave anyone stranded, this has been a great group! 
  • Pro-FB as well! Happy to move over whenever folks are ready.
  • Also pro Facebook group! My last birth month board fell apart as there were problems here, and then later problems on the private board, and finally it just dissolved because so many were against moving to Facebook. I'd love it if that doesn't happen! 

    I'd be happy to start the group? 
  • I don’t want to dissuade the group from moving to Facebook but I don’t have an account so won’t be joining you! Wish you all well, though!
  • I’m pro private Facebook group! Would love to stay connected and the bump app has been super glitchy!
  • I think a FB group might be nice, but it might be better to switch over closer to Dec.  We still have half of Sept, Oct, and Nov.  Are there any advantages to moving over earlier (besides that Bump is glitchy)?  That seems an annoyance to me, but not enough to make the switch at this point.  (The multiple posts now is a lot less frustrating than a few months ago when it wouldn't let me post for days at a time).  
  • I'd be in favor of a private facebook group! No issues waiting a little while to switch, so we don't abandon anyone!
  • karmbakarmba member
    edited September 2020
    @dobiemom11 the main advantage to an earlier move is for those of us who might have an early baby and don't want to share pictures etc on the bump.  Maybe we could think about creating a group when people start hitting 32ish weeks?  In my D16 group we had a few October babies and about 10 November babies.

    ETA - looking back we actually had one September baby and it took some effort to get the baby announcement thread pinned.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Me: 34 DH: 36
    Married 10/15/11
    M/C October 2014
    BFP #2 4/3/16  EDD 12/8/16  DS 11/19/16


  • I agree facebook group eventually, over private group as I think more people would use it, but I think it's way to soon. My last bump group moved over I think once people were closer to delivering? And it's still going,  (feb '18) although slowing down as many people have become private fb friends,  or stopped using fb all together.  Personally i'm not very active on facebook. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • I am all for a Facebook group my feb19 group was a lifesaver during those newborn nights! I think we should stay on here until early November.

    In my feb 19 group we had a group of the girls all vote (I think 5 or 6) and anyone who wanted to switch over had to be voted on. Basically just to say that they have seen them post and they are active participants and not some random lurker who may or may not have been pregnant. 

    Those 5 or 6 ladies then become the Facebook admins. I think this is a great way to just ensure that we bring over people who are active participants and can keep our bump group going for as long as possible!  My feb 19 group is so active and it’s nice to have people to talk to who are in the same stages as you! 
  • Here is what we basically went off of from another mom in the group:

    - We elected “Admins” to start the FB group page. They set it up and handled all new member requests. 

    - On FB, the elected Admins (there were 3) set up a specific account to act as the Admin for the FB group page. All members then had to friend request that specific profile in order to receive admittance into the group. 

    - In order to receive admittance into the FB group, the person requesting had to provide a photo of themselves with a piece of paper with current date written on it. They also had to provide their Bump username to cross reference. 

    - They asked people to be honest w/ their activity here on TB and would check the “Introduce Yourself” thread to make sure they were someone who has been around a bit before allowing them in.

    this is worded much better than what I wrote! 

  • I’m all for Facebook but I agree that waiting would be better. Especially  since some do not use Facebook.   Waiting until December. Or even January after everyone has had their babies might be best. 
  • I’m happy to switch to Facebook whenever, especially since I have found the bump to be very buggy, but I think end of October or November might be good timing.
  • @the_road_to_oz yes! I was in that group too! I totally remember your name. So excited to see you here, hope you’re doing awesome!!
  • I would love to move to FB. It's hard to use TB on my phone. I am still very close with my M14 group.
  • My O16 group is still strong too. We’ve even met up in real life and the last two years they have rented a house in FL for a Mom’s weekend. (I haven’t gone because I run a summer camp.). 
    DS born 2016
  • jbal918jbal918 member
    edited September 2020
    Also, how can we figure out a way to weed out the lurkers that say they want to join?
    *Edited to fix an autocorrect 
    DS born 2016
  • @jbal918 Number of posts here maybe? Or the spreadsheet (although I never actually added myself because I'm always on my phone and needed to be on a computer to do it 🤦)
  • @jbal918 maybe use the spreadsheet from the other post? I think it has info on due dates and such so it should be active moms/moms to be instead of lurkers.

    When you set up a group I think you can create pre-admission questions. You could use the spreadsheet to ask people to verify random details from that. I would save a copy now so you don't have random people add a bunch now.

    Also, I think there is a message option on here so you may be able to "double verify" by using the admission Qs to ask requesters to send or receive a private message on TB to confirm/compare their profile and activity here.

    I volunteer as tribute to help as an admin in the FB group if needed.
    image     image
  • @mom_of_the_vogels Haha I had the same thought and then realized I never added myself! Maybe we can cross reference something else too? 
  • @gingkomama. I am also not on the spreadsheet.  I only view on my phone, so I can open the spreadsheet but not sure if I can add to it.
  • @gingkomama I never added to the spreadsheet either! I'm also always on my phone and I just kept forgetting to log in on my computer!
  • @jbal918 yes I think people nominate like 3 admins to moderate the FB group switchover, and then everyone else PM's them their name and Facebook handle or something?  Then one of the 3 admins friend them on Facebook to vet them and verify they are stranger danger, and then adds them to the group. I think! I wasn't an admin last time so I don't know/remember entirely.
    TTC History:
    Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010.
    TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
    BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
    TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
    Due date was Nov 2020
    DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
    TTC: March 2021
    IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
    IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP.  MC Jan 2022
    IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
    IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
    AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.



  • I’m also good with a FB switch, particularly as I find the mobile TB app harder and harder to use.

    @conni0205 I was Feb ‘19 as well, but didn’t feel
    welcome to join the FB group because I hadn’t been super active and felt intimidated that I might be voted “off the island,” if you will. Glad you gals are still going strong!
  • In my last BMB a small group started a FB group super early and the rest of us waited until the month after all the babies were born.  We only had one admin and she had everyone PM her their email for an invite.  Then after a week or so we closed it down and voted on any new members.  It worked for us, but wasn't super organized - and a few people got lost in the post-baby sleep deprivation daze.  I'm all for an organized approach!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Me: 34 DH: 36
    Married 10/15/11
    M/C October 2014
    BFP #2 4/3/16  EDD 12/8/16  DS 11/19/16


  • @cassafrass15 I was worried about the same thing at first. Thankfully they are a great group of women! Hopefully we can be in this group together and compare our F19’s too! 

    My feb19 group also started a private group here before moving to fb if we all wanted to get to know each other a little more before making a jump to facebook! That way we can wean out most of the lurkers by doing that. 
  • @mom_of_the_vogels @dobiemom11 @gingkomama and @flip25I have to admit that I’m part of the club that never put their info on the spreadsheet. I always use my phone and just never got around to it!🤷🏻‍♀️
  • How does a private Bump group work? Maybe we can switch over to a private bump group starting November, then during that month start to plan the FB group and switch over in December?
    TTC History:
    Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010.
    TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
    BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
    TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
    Due date was Nov 2020
    DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
    TTC: March 2021
    IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
    IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP.  MC Jan 2022
    IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
    IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
    AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.



  • I actually kind of like the idea of a private group first... I wouldn't mind switching to a private group or FB group now. I'm not super comfortable sharing too much or photos on a totally public forum and would feel better if it's restricted. 
  • Im liking the suggestions for a private bump group sooner than later and then FB closer to due dates. I’m hesitant to share any pictures in the open forum we have now. 
  • Private group to FB is what we did with J16.
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