IF Testing & Treatment w/o 7/6

mvt2003 · July 2020

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been):

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):

How are things going?:

Any questions?:

GTKY: What celebrity chef would you choose to make a dinner for you?

misshelen86 · July 2020

Diagnosis (if you've been): MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Signing consent forms for IUI today!!

How are things going?: Another BFN today. I’m not really surprised, since it’s always negative.. but I was really hoping that I would be a unicorn and get KU right before IUI. I’m not really too sad about it.. I’m more relieved that we are getting ready to finally move forward with treatment! I’m just so done with trying on our own.. it’s been such a long road. I’ve decided if we can’t get in for the IUI right away, we’ll be trying a medicated cycle. Other than that, I’m just trying to enjoy summer as much as I can.. the weather has been so beautiful and has really helped with my mood!

Any questions?: No

GTKY: What celebrity chef would you choose to make a dinner for you? Mary Berg from MasterChef Canada! Her cooking/baking always looks amazing plus she has such a fun personality!

emeraldduchess · July 2020

Diagnosis (if you've been): Unexplained IF, unexplained RPL, AMA, ovaries like to pull shenanigans.

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): waiting for IVF.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): I am doing the patch protocol, which means I am pretty much benched this cycle. I have to wait until my LH surge, then I start wearing a patch, then WFAF. After that is when I start injections. So it looks like ER won't be until end of July at the earliest. Knowing my stupid ovaries, it will more likely be August. I called the RE this morning and they explained the patch protocol to me a little more thoroughly. It's a more aggressive treatment and takes a little longer because they need to get my numbers back up. I really am grateful that they are so nice and patient with me at the RE.

How are things going?: Eh...I'm not doing so well at this moment. I was up most of last night feeling sick to my stomach/chest hurting because of the position we are in. I'll put the rest in a spoiler. *TW loss, LCs mentioned.*

We've been TTC for 2 years, had 2 CPs and a bunch of failed medicated cycles. I'm trying SO hard to be hopeful but I am really, really struggling with this. And TBH I don't know what life will be like for DH and I if IVF fails. How can I face his family which is SO child-centered? I don't want them looking at me with pity or like I am broken (which they will). And I can't be expected to put on a happy face when all I want to do is scream and throw things (like at Thanksgiving and Christmas the last 2 years. So, so painful). I know I sound like such a Debbie Downer/entitled brat right now, but there's not many places I can talk about this. DH doesn't get it and insists we have plenty of time. No, DH. We don't. We're running out of time FAST. The blood tests don't lie.

Any questions?:
GTKY: What celebrity chef would you choose to make a dinner for you? Can I just have Mary Berry from "British Bake Off" make me a whole afternoon tea spread and dessert buffet? Let's go with that. I'm such a picky eater I feel like anyone else's talent would just be wasted.

mvt2003 · July 2020

Diagnosis (if you've been): MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Natural FET

How are things going?: I was stunned on Sunday morning when I went to my CD10 baseline appointment and found out I had an 18mm follie (also on the left interestingly) and my lining was already at 10. I triggered last night, transfer is this Sunday.

Just to add to the wonderfulness that has been 2020, we had a VERY close call on Thursday night, when a tree fell in our yard during a freak storm. The dog and I had been outside for her to pee, and in the time it took for us to go upstairs to the second floor of our house the tree fell. We're very lucky that the damage was all to the outside, and no major house damage. It hit the roof gutter and bent it, and that's it. Our shed was destroyed, and it took down part of our neighbor's fence. We're very grateful that it wasn't worse, and cleanup has been going on full force.

Any questions?: Nope

GTKY: What celebrity chef would you choose to make a dinner for you? Ina Garten all the way, preferably chicken (since it's Jeffrey's favorite) and homemade cosmos!

emeraldduchess · July 2020

@mvt2003 WHOA! That's scary! I am so glad you, your DH and dog are ok! I agree, 2020 has been an absolute dumpster fire so far. Hugs to you.

@misshelen86 I am so sorry about the BFN but YAY for IUI! It's a great feeling when you drop off those consent forms. And I get what you mean. When you have a definite treatment plan, it takes some of the sting out of those BFNs.

mvt2003 · July 2020

@misshelen86 I'm so sorry about the BFN, but I'm so hopeful that IUI will just get the job done for you!!!

@emeraldduchess Friend, I feel that so very much. Sending you so many hugs. I completely understand the feelings and the frustration. I vented to my SiL this weekend that all I feel is dread about our upcoming transfer (which may have been a mistake but oh well). TTC is not a happy fun process for us, it's just tears and pain and sadness. I'm glad your RE is going with an aggressive protocol, and I'm hoping so hard that this brings you your rainbow.

emeraldduchess · July 2020

@mvt2003 thanks, friend. It absolutely breaks my heart that you and I have gone through some of the same things. So many of us here have. Worst. Roller coaster. Ever. After this TTC process ends (however it ends), the only roller coaster I want to be on is Thunder Mountain or Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. I am crossing everything for you that your transfer is successful!!

misshelen86 · July 2020

@emeraldduchess So sorry you are having a rough time right now, friend. Sending you so many hugs! It’s such a difficult place to be, but especially when your loved ones just don’t get it. I’m hoping so hard that your IVF is a success and you can get off this roller coaster!

@mvt2003 Glad you are okay and there’s no major damage. I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling dread this time around. I totally get the feelings of hopelessness and sadness.. those feelings are completely valid! Sending hugs your way and rooting so hard for you for this FET!

inthewoods23 · July 2020

@misshelen86 It's silly how much less pressure happens by moving forward with treatment. Sorry for the BFN, but glad you're looking forward to the IUI

@emeraldduchess FX for no shenangians. Sending you lots of love

We are always here for you to vent and share your frustrations and sadness!

@mvt2003 oh my gosh I can't believe it's happening so soon already!! APRIL!! So glad you and the house are okay! Scary!! My body would be tingling with adrenaline for AGES if that happened to us! PHEW

Diagnosis (if you've been): unexplained, low morph

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): I'm feeling too emotional to be funny here. Just back to basics

How are things going?: Just okay. Or just emotional like always. I don't know. I think I have a lot going on in my head about all of this. Like I'm worrying over it being July already and that we don't have much time left before I'd want to go back to trying a FET, which then leads me to worrying about that not working AGAIN. Sigh. I think I could really use some time to clear my head. Maybe DH and I can get away for a few days either this weekend or next. I want to go back to just being in the moment instead of thinking about everything else going on.

Any questions?: No

GTKY: What celebrity chef would you choose to make a dinner for you? The only celebrity chef I can really think of right now is Gordon Ramsay (Ramsey?). I attempted one of his breakfast recipes and failed miserably so maybe he could make that for me so I can actually enjoy it instead of having to eat burnt potatoes

kpearse99 · July 2020

@misshelen86 I'm sorry it was another BFN this morning, but I'm happy to hear you're just ready and excited to move forward with treatment finally. Keep enjoying the weather and looking for things in every day to make you happy!

@emeraldduchess You don't sound like an entitled brat or a debbie downer. These are your feelings and they are REAL and they are HARD. You are entitled to feel however you feel, so let it all out to us whenever you need to. We get it. I think that it's natural for people, especially family members, to feel something along the lines of sadness (I don't know if it's necessarily pity) for those that they love when they are struggling with something as hard as this. I am sure they all know how badly you want it, and I am also sure that they know it's not any one person's fault. The sadness they will show towards you is natural and and while it will be there, it will also fade away and won't last around forever. IF, and that's a big IF, IVF doesn't end up giving you your rainbow I am confident that you and DH will find your new normal way of life and will continue to adjust, just like you have after every other struggle you've hit these last 2 years. It's all just a lot to take at the moment, and it's not something you need to focus on at the moment. Just keep trying to take it one day at a time, lean on us and your RE and YH and try to get in the right head space for your transfer.

@mvt2003 that's terrifying that it happened just within moments of you getting in the house! I am so grateful you weren't outside while it happened and that you weren't hurt! Also, how the heck did you trigger already?! I'm shocked, as I am sure you are too, haha! Come on twins embies!!!!

@inthewoods23 I think it's a great idea for you two to get away for a few nights or even for one night to just be together and clear your head(s). I really hope you can make that happen.

Diagnosis (if you've been): Secondary Unexplained IF

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Trying without trying!

How are things going?: Honestly, I am doing really well. After deciding together that we are just going to have fun again and live our lives without putting TTC above everything else and to just take whatever comes our way, we had an incredible weekend with some hot HIO sessions hahaha We joked around that we felt like we were teenagers again

Aside from them, I'm just in a really good place mentally and emotionally about our plan (or lack there of, I guess I should say) and I'm just really excited about whatever lies ahead for us... whatever that may end up being! For the first time, in a long time, I feel like I can breathe again.

Also, Hamilton is now available to watch on Disney + and I watched it twice over the weekend. DH said he'd watch it with me too so we'll watch it sometime this week. I may be obsessed! haha

Any questions?: nope

GTKY: What celebrity chef would you choose to make a dinner for you? ummmm Gordon Ramsay, all the way!!! I love that man! haha

emeraldduchess · July 2020

@inthewoods23 lots of hugs to you, friend. I really hope you and your DH can get some time away to relax and just enjoy life. It really sucks that IF can completely take over our lives.

I found these socks on Etsy and I'm thinking of getting them to wear for my ER and transfer. I also have some rainbow ankle socks that I bought for my (cancelled) IUI back in February.

Image: https://i.etsystatic.com/22036030/r/il/423771/2429737087/il_794xN.2429737087_eoog.jpg

misshelen86 · July 2020

@inthewoods23 Getting away with your H for a few days sounds like a great idea! I wish there was a switch you could just flick to turn off all the thoughts. Sending hugs!

@kpearse99 So happy to hear that you’re in a good place now that some of the pressure is off. That sounds so refreshing to be able to live your lives without all those expectations and the stress of TTC. I’m looking forward to seeing what lies ahead for you and keeping everything crossed there is a surprise just around the corner. Thanks for reminding me, I need to check out Hamilton!

@emeraldduchess Those socks are so pretty! I think you should go for it!

emeraldduchess · July 2020

@kpearse99 thank you so much, friend.

I legit teared up reading your kind words.
I love that you and your DH are just enjoying life right now! I miss the days of HIO just for the hell of it. LOL!

legallykate · July 2020

@misshelen86 Sorry about the BFN but yay for starting IUI and for nice summer weather, I agree that helps so much with mood.

@emeraldduchess I am so sorry you are feeling bad about where you are at. I don’t think you sound entitled at all, we’ve been dealt some seriously crap hands and it is only natural to be mad/sad about it. I am trying to stay super positive about IVF because it also makes me physically ill to think about it not working. I hope the patch gets you to where you need to be and fast so you can move forward with your ER.

@mvt2003 Everything crossed for you for Sunday! That is crazy about the tree, I am so glad it didn’t do more damage.

@inthewoods23 I think some time away with YH would be amazing if you can swing it. I hate the feeling of racing against time and just wanting to be KU already so so badly, and it’s so hard not to let the process take over your mind.

@kpearse99 I’m so glad to hear you are in such a good place and are enjoying time with YH. Hamilton is so good, I watched on Saturday night and would totally re-watch!

Diagnosis (if you've been): AMA, DOR

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Egg retrieval

How are things going?: I know a couple of you have commented that things seem to be moving fast for me with treatment but I didn't really feel that way until I found out yesterday my clinic wanted to bump up the ER to this month and skip the priming cycle. Now I am like holy eff this is moving fast! I am feeling super intimidated by all the meds that are getting delivered today, I am hoping when I go in for my baseline sono this morning they are really good at explaining to me the protocol and how to inject the drugs and everything because it feels very overwhelming.

Any questions?: I wouldn't even know where to start with all my questions

GTKY: What celebrity chef would you choose to make a dinner for you? I can't believe no one has said Bobby Flay, I have such a crush on him lol.

mvt2003 · July 2020

@emeraldduchess I hate that we've both been through the wringer on this! I also hate that I'm now going to be nervous going to Disney again, because FL is literally on fire at the moment!!!

@inthewoods23 I've already done the completely-normal-and-in-no-way-obsessive thing of checking the EDD for this transfer, and it puts me in March again!!!!! I completely understand all the overly emotional ways our brains mess with us, and approaching any sort of self-imposed deadline is a huge trigger. FWIW, I've been very much in my own head about this FET not working AGAIN, and I keep reminding myself that even with genetically normal embryos sometimes they just don't implant. I had a very difficult time on Sunday, and contemplated taking a cycle off just because seeing another negative feels inevitable and so scary, but I circled myself back around to the mantra of "the time will pass anyway" and it's better to be trying something/anything than nothing.

@kpearse99 Sweet friend, I am so happy that you and YH are feeling more connected and less controlled by TTC. I hope so hard that just living your life brings you your rainbow, but I know that you're going to have so much happiness either way. Your words to @emeraldduchess are so spot on, and I appreciated reading them as well.

@legallykate I completely empathize with the overwhelmed feeling - I had three months to wrap my head around it, and I still felt overwhelmed, it's completely normal. I'm so thrilled that you get to get this ball rolling though! So much of IVF/IF is "hurry up and wait" that it's nice to see something coming quickly! You'll do amazing with your first round of shots tonight, just breathe deeply, remember to sterilize, and it will be over quickly. If you have any specific questions, don't hesitate to reach out!

shoogapoff · July 2020

@misshelen86 I'm sorry you didn't get your pre-IUI BFP, but I am glad you're able to move forward with treatment!

@emeraldduchess I'm sorry for the delays, and for the struggles with your emotions. I think those all sound like perfectly reasonable feelings to have. It's scary to think about all of the what ifs. FX you get to do your ER soon!

@mvt2003 I'm so excited for you!! And OMG about the tree! That sounds so scary! Glad you are okay!

@inthewoods23 I hope you and YH can get away soon. Where would you go?

@kpearse99 I'm glad you and YH are able to enjoy one another and enjoy this time. That is so important!

@legallykate Girl, you and I are a day apart on our IVF journeys! I am right there with you on feeling a little overwhelmed!

Diagnosis (if you've been): blocked tube, AMA

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Starting stims for IVF!

How are things going?: Today is CD 1, so I called and scheduled my baseline ultrasound for tomorrow morning. My meds are being shipped to me and will arrive sometime tomorrow, for my first injection tomorrow night! I can't believe it's really happening!

Any questions?: Not yet, but I probably will when the meds come.

GTKY: What celebrity chef would you choose to make a dinner for you? I used to have a crush on Jaime Oliver, so I guess I would say him. I also think it would be fun to try Gordon Ramsay's food.

legallykate · July 2020

@mvt2003 Thanks so much, I will for sure reach out with questions!

@shoogapoff Oh yay so exciting! Let me know if you want to compare notes on protocols/injections/etc. My very short summary of my first day is that the Menopur injection is a little sting-y but the Gonal-F isn't bad at all, and watching a billion online videos until you are comfortable in advance with how to administer them is the way to go. MH hates needles even more than I do so he helped me prepare them but I injected myself, but I think if I have to use the backs of my arms (if my abdomen and thighs get sore) I will need him to do them so he will have to suck it up lol.

bluetickgal · July 2020

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS and Unexplained RPL

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Letrozole (7.5mg), IUI#3, and Progesterone. Monitoring appointment is tomorrow (CD15).

How are things going?: Things are going pretty well! I’m anxious to see how I responded to the increased Letrozole dose at my monitoring appointment tomorrow...I’ve had some increased hot flashes, but otherwise I haven’t noticed anything different. I’ll be asking specifics about number & sizes of follies this time around, especially since this will be our last monitoring and I want to make sure I would be ok to continue with the increased dose and I’m not over-stimulated with it! I’m still in the hopeful, but not too hopeful camp this cycle! I have comfort in knowing that if it is not a success, we will move ahead with starting the adoption process...while hopefully still trying on our own with meds.

Any questions?: None.

GTKY: What celebrity chef would you choose to make a dinner for you? Oh man, I’d be happy if any of them wanted to make dinner for me! Haha. I’d probably go with Gordon Ramsey as long as he didn’t yell at me! Could I have some dessert that Mary Berry makes for @emeraldduchess as well?!

@misshelen86 sorry you weren’t a unicorn! I so hope you can move ahead with an IUI this cycle though!! That sounds good to go with a medicated cycle if not! I’m so happy things are finally moving forward for you...I know the waiting has been tough!

@emeraldduchess I’m glad you have a better understanding of how the patch protocol will work now. I’m so sorry for how you are feeling about the possibility of IVF not working! You are not being a brat at all!! You are so incredibly strong, and you have already endured more than anyone should ever have to! I’m hoping with everything in me that IVF will lead you to your rainbow!! Try to take it one step at a time...starting with getting those socks, I love them!

@mvt2003 eek...your transfer is so soon now! I’m glad you were able to move forward so quickly! I’ll be thinking about you and crossing everything that this transfer is a success and leads you to your rainbow! So sorry you had that scare and had to deal with the damage of the tree falling...so glad nobody was hurt and the damage wasn’t too severe! 2020 needs to give us all a break here soon!!

@inthewoods23 I’m so sorry you are feeling emotional again and all the stresses are getting to you! I hope you and YH can get away for a couple days!! Enjoy some time together, and then maybe talk through your worries/fears together when you return!

@kpearse99 I’m so happy that you and YH have decided to just have fun and not let TTC be your sole focus!! That has to be very freeing and it sounds like you are already having lots of fun with it!! I’m still hoping so hard that your rainbow is right around the corner, but I love that you all aren’t letting that rule your lives now!

@legallykate holy crap...that is exciting and I’m sure stressful that things are moving so quickly! Might be nice to not have all the stressful lead up to starting your ER cycle though! Hope you feel good about all the info you got on meds and whatnot! Glad your first injections went well!

@shoogapoff woohoo, so much IVF excitement around here! Hope your US went well and your injection goes well tonight! I can’t remember if you’ve mentioned...are you testing embryos or planning on a fresh transfer? Is that dictated by the IVF trial? Yes to Jamie Oliver...I’d listen to him talk while he cooked any day!

thegirlwhowaited_ · July 2020

I'll come back for tags and finish reading after my next meeting. Or perhaps during if it's that terrible.

Diagnosis (if you've been): Unexplained, RE suspects endometriosis

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO, AF started yesterday and I had 2 BFN over the weekend.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Nothing I guess. My RE won't let us do another IUI she wants us to have another consult with her about IVF, but I'm just not sure I'm ready to take that step.

How are things going?: Not good. I'm upset about AF and feeling like I'm at a dead end. It's been 9 months trying this time around and I'm frustrated. I'm unsure about IVF because of the large upfront costs, I'm concerned about the hormones as I had horrible headaches with 150mg of Clomid, and honestly I'm worried about putting so much down ($ and hope) to just be disappointed/let down again. I haven't scheduled my consult with my RE yet. I have my annual pap next week with my OB so I'm going to see what she thinks before I schedule that consult. Although I'm not sure how objective of an opinion I'm going to get seeing as how my OB and RE are really good friends. I think I'm considering benching myself this month and not even try on our own. Maybe I just need a break and time to think.

Any questions?: nope.

GTKY: What celebrity chef would you choose to make a dinner for you? Scott Conant can cook me a steak and a bowl of pasta any time

Scott Conant is Married to Wife Meltem Conant Since 2007 - Details

thegirlwhowaited_ · July 2020

@misshelen86 So awesome for getting to move forward with IUI!

@emeraldduchess I'm sorry you're feeling like that. I can relate to having in-law's like that. I've honestly been thinking about avoiding mine for the same reasons, but I know that isn't fair to MH. I'm glad that you're having a pleasant experience with your RE's office though.

@mvt2003 that's amazing news from your baseline! FX this is the cycle! Crazy about the tree, too! I'm glad no one was hurt.

@inthewoods23 I think it would be a great idea to get away. *hugs*

@kpearse99 I'm very happy that you enjoyed your weekend and are enjoying YH without stressing out.

@bluetickgal I hope things go well this time. FX your IUI is successful!

bluetickgal · July 2020

@thegirlwhowaited_ thank you! I’m so sorry you are in limbo and your RE won’t let you try another IUI! Has your RE indicated that IVF is the best (or only) way they see you getting KU? If not, that seems kind of crazy that they won’t let you continue with less invasive measures right now! Could you consult a different RE if you don’t get much insight from your OB at your annual visit? If you feel like you need a break, I say go for it! The TTC stress has such a major impact on us, and maybe taking a break will help a bit!

shoogapoff · July 2020

@legallykate Awesome! Let's definitely compare! I'm doing my injections in 1 hour: menopur and follistim. I've done gonal-f in the past with IUI, and follistim is the same pen concept, so I'm mostly nervous about mixing the menopur etc. I'm okay with giving myself shots, so that helps too.

@bluetickgal Thank you so much! My ultrasound looked good, so we're officially a go! The giant box of meds was super overwhelming at first, but its okay now. To answer your question: the study requires PGT-A, so we'll have to do that. I'm not complaining. It's something I would have probably wanted to do anyway, so it's nice that it's covered.
FX that this dose of letrozole does the trick for you!!!

kpearse99 · July 2020

@legallykate I can only imagine how overwhelming it must all be! How did your appointment go? Did you get to ask all of your questions and do you feel more prepared?

@shoogapoff Yes, friend! It really really is happening!!! So glad everything looked good yesterday and that you were good to start! FX

@bluetickgal eeeek can't wait for the update on how your monitoring appointment went!! I really hope the increased dose shows something for you!!

@thegirlwhowaited_ I know you were on clomid but did your RE every have you try letrozole? There's typically way less hormonal side effects with that drug.

legallykate · July 2020

@bluetickgal I hope your appointment goes well and you are responding amazingly to the increased dose!

@thegirlwhowaited Does your RE just have a rule about 3 IUIs or what is the reason for not letting you do another? With the price difference I think it’s kind of crappy that she is pushing you towards IVF if you’d rather try IUI again especially with your history.

@shoogapuff Hope your first injections went well! I was intimidated by the Menopur too but after the first time the mixing is super easy. I wish they all had the pens though!

@kpearse My appointment was good, I didn’t get much face time with my doctor because he was also covering for his partner, but I got to sit with one of the nurses for a long time and she was great at explaining everything.

Overall right now I feel good about my protocol and prospects but the most overwhelming part is just trying to balance all the monitoring appointments and blood draws with work without telling anyone at work what I am doing (because I would rather them not know there is a possibility I might take leave sometime in 2021 until it is way more than just a possibility). I did have to tell one partner that I am on medication that requires monitoring on a specific day because he asked me last minute to be his second chair for a depo on Friday and I have my blood draw and ultrasound Friday.

thegirlwhowaited_ · July 2020

@bluetickgal We really expected the IUI to work since it has previously for me, but my RE's reasoning is that for someone with unexplained infertility there is still only a 10% change of getting KU each IUI cycle. Where as the probability greatly increases with IVF and to her it's better to do IVF than possibly spending more time and money on failed IUI cycles. I have a lot of concerns with IVF though, one major one in that it's more invasive.

@kpearse99 She brought it up last time at my baseline, but she really prefers Clomid. If we have another follow-up/consult appointment with the RE I may ask if we can do one more IUI with Letrozole and see if anything happens.

@legallykate Their practices policy is 3 IUI's and then discuss IVF. I think because they don't want a lot of patients to spend so much towards their infertility life time max and then not be able to to IVF. Which I understand, but my insurance has a $20k lifetime max on fertility benefits. If we have another follow-up/consult appointment with the RE I may ask if we can do another IUI with Letrozole and see if anything happens.

bluetickgal · July 2020

@shoogapoff that is wonderful news!! I’m sure it is a bit overwhelming, but you just have to take it one injection at a time! That makes sense that’s what the study requires, and that’s good that you would most likely have wanted to anyways!

@kpearse @legallykate thanks, friends! Unfortunately I didn’t respond well, update below.

@thegirlwhowaited_ that makes sense, so sorry that it hasn’t so far! I agree with @kpearse99 to ask about Letrozole to see if that is an option for another IUI. I’d say express your concerns too...if you are ok with it possibly taking longer with IUI (but also being less invasive), hopefully they will let you proceed with that.

AFM, my monitoring appointment was quite disappointing this morning. Putting it in a spoiler because I wrote a book, yet again!

The largest follie was only at 7mm...at CD15!! What the heck?! He mentioned my largest was 14mm last cycle on CD14 (nice to know since I didn’t ask then), so I really don’t understand why I responded worse to the increased dose! I’m going back for another scan on Monday...if it has grown, we may be able to proceed with trigger & IUI this cycle. If it hasn’t, we will have to regroup for next cycle. After the initial shock and thinking about giving up this cycle, DH and I talked and came up with a plan of how to proceed. I’m going to ask the RE if I could be responding poorly now because I’ve been on Letrozole for so long (2 years now), or if there could be another reason. I’m also going to ask about the possibility of injectables...that has never been mentioned before, but we also thought I was responding well to Letrozole, so there was no reason to explore other options. If he recommends I stay with Letrozole, we will probably do another monitored cycle just to make sure it’s working (if he thinks this cycle was just a fluke or something). If he recommends switching to injectables, we will probably do monitoring and IUI for a few cycles. We are going to call the adoption agency early next week to set up an informational meeting. We need more info about the process, costs, and whatnot to even begin planning when we would want to officially start the process. DH shared with me yesterday that he was hopeful that we’d get pregnant by the end of the year...I hope he is right and I’m willing to change up what we are doing to hopefully make that happen! I’m glad we are still proceeding with getting more information about the adoption process though!

shoogapoff · July 2020

@bluetickgal I'm so sorry for the disappointing news. That is really strange that you didn't respond as well this time! Good for you for thinking of what you want to ask your RE. Those questions all make a lot of sense to broach. FX that you get good news on Monday!

shoogapoff · July 2020

@legallykate Thanks, girl. I had a definite panic moment with the Menopur when I was trying to mix it. The volume of fluid in the syringe was less than the amount of sodium chloride I had initially drawn up, and I thought I must have majorly messed up. I googled it, and I guess it happens to other people. I expected the volume to go up slightly since I'm adding powder to the liquid, but I guess that doesn't happen. I'm going to be really careful tonight and hopefully will feel better about it then.

inthewoods23 · July 2020

I have been so bad about responding in here!!

@kpearse99 yeah girl! I'm so glad to hear you're doing well!!

@legallykate I got lucky with my IVF monitoring appointments. They were MWF during the work week and I lucked out (sorta!) that I had a week of full day training in a town an hour from me. One of the nurses was able to come in early on those days to get me in at 6:45 so I could be out the door at 7 and make it to my training on time. I can't think of a good excuse other than just being vague stating you have a check up with your doc. GL!!

@mvt2003 dammit MARCH lmao. Ruining our BMB buddy plans!! But I'll take any BMB at this point.

@shoogapoff I wouldn't sweat the amount too much. It gets a lot easier the more times you do it! I felt much more confident with the IVF meds by day 3.

@bluetickgal that blows about your follicles!! Come on little guys! I wonder if that's normal for things to go slow at increased doses?? Frustrating!

Jurassic Park Come On Little One GIF - JurassicPark

@thegirlwhowaited_ sorry for all the emotions! It is so tough when deciding if moving to IVF is the right answer. Hugs

I love Scott for his hatred of raw onions

I mean come on, it's not that bad! But man would he give daggers to the chef on Chopped that had raw onions on their plate.

DH and I talked a bit about possibly doing a vacation. We might not end up staying somewhere, but we're considering going to some marsh land about an hour north of us next week Thursday and spend the day there looking at the wildlife. Then Friday we'll spend time cleaning up the house. I certainly wouldn't mind changing his mind and spending one night out somewhere. But I have the request in for the PTO! I definitely was dealing with some burnout earlier this week.

I'm also really glad I had my next therapy appointment yesterday because it was primarily discussing IF (she had gone through it too but MFI I think). DH was bumming after the weekend cuz *TW* niece *end TW* and that clearly weighs on him heavily. On some level I know it affects me too and I think I try to keep it out of my conscious head as a way to cope. It all came together yesterday that I just need to come to terms that all this stuff is going to be going on around me and that's okay. If I need to be sad about it, then be sad about it. We'll get through it. And with that, we finally got started on the HIO yesterday even though I had to drag him to the bedroom when he wasn't in the mood, but I got that to change pretty fast

I'm pretty sure I will be in the TWW in the next few days so FX!! Yeehaw!

kpearse99 · July 2020

inthewoods23 said:

all this stuff is going to be going on around me and that's okay. If I need to be sad about it, then be sad about it. We'll get through it.

@inthewoods23
So. Much. YES. to this, friend!!!!!

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/lYjA4tfvCc8UAju1Op/giphy.gif

There is so much that is going to happen and be around us that is out of our control. Life is still going to happen around us. And we can be sad about it at times and happy about it at times, but we need to keep on going and keep on living. Let yourself feel whatever it is you need to feel but don't let it hold you back.

I love ya, friend!!!

inthewoods23 · July 2020

@kpearse99 exactly!!

bluetickgal · July 2020

@shoogapoff thanks, friend! Am I remembering correctly that you did gonal-f injections? If so, how were they as far as side-effects and your response? Also, if you don’t mind me asking...was it incredibly expensive? I started looking up some info, and the cost estimates seem super high! We have pretty good IF coverage, so it’s not a huge issue...I just wasn’t expecting it to be that much higher! Letrozole is dirt cheap with insurance! And if you don’t feel comfortable sharing, I totally understand! If it wasn’t you that did injectables, sorry for the confusion...it’s hard to keep everyone’s treatment straight sometimes! ☺️

@inthewoods23 thanks, friend! I so t know...I feel like my RE was surprised, especially comparing my past cycles! He also mentioned if they don’t grow by Monday, we would have to start back with the next cycle...so that makes me think it’s not normal. Hopefully they listen to your gif (love that one) and grow significantly by Monday! I’m so glad you and YH have a plan to get away next week...and hopefully you can convince him to make it an overnight trip! I’m so glad you were able to talk to your therapist about your IF journey (and that she can relate)! That is great that you came to that realization...and most importantly, you will get through it! 💜

*Edited to add question for @shoogapoff.*

shoogapoff · July 2020

@bluetickgal Good memory! I did do gonal-f with my last 2 IUIs. Side-effects were really minimal, but I had a good response with it. Now that I am on menopur and follistim (basically gonal-f), I am having raging headaches every day, but that's it so far. Not sure if that's just the menopur, or the combination. Anyway, I had at least 3 mature follies and 2 or 3 more that were growing at my last IUI. That's a big part of why they wanted us to go for IVF. Something isn't working with IUI, because my follie growth was really good and yet, BFN each time. Gonal-F is expensive. There are different size pens. I think the biggest is 900 iU and when I got that one, we paid around $800 for it. Our insurance didn't cover any meds, so that was total out-of-pocket cost. That being said, I have an IRL friend who is going through treatment, and her dr gave her another pharmacy that is supposedly really inexpensive for medications. It is called Encompass Fertility. I don't know how they compare in price, but maybe my experience would give you a ballpark of what to expect.

shoogapoff · July 2020

@inthewoods23 Your post made me think about this: There is an instagram account that I follow that is really good: " missconceptioncoach "

She is a therapist who specializes in infertility counseling. She posts really good thoughts about infertility trauma, and normalizes this experience. I put two examples of her posts in the spoiler below. They might be really big, so I apologize if the formatting is weird:

Image: https://scontent-lht6-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/105972259_3248871361801472_3892340668417319803_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_sid=8ae9d6&_nc_oc=AQmFSbOGdfSb9G0iqVHIlT-R0vo14SklD_xMKMzfqoWaHMqdIgwBN9Uh4ODwrVWQtEw&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.cdninstagram.com&oh=790a15d2c659ec6e36f1b83e118fd2b7&oe=5F2DBF53

Image: https://scontent-lhr8-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.29350-15/106704936_289289065745594_5394695027245290039_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_sid=8ae9d6&_nc_oc=AQnBkvIieDizgYa6jcGuRLfv3FHXJ5YdbvBvDPs9OupsFyFFvdzBgglkHgxpTYkj5to&_nc_ht=scontent-lhr8-1.cdninstagram.com&oh=ff2385ccd030cd1885e8fc4cdb0be873&oe=5F2D38D5

inthewoods23 · July 2020

@shoogapoff I love these!!!

Instant follow

bluetickgal · July 2020

@shoogapoff whew, glad I was right! Haha. Ugh, that stinks about the headaches, hopefully that’ll stop soon once your body is used to the meds! Thanks for sharing your experience...it’s definitely nice to have a frame of reference! I’m starting to wonder if injectables would be covered for me...Letrozole has always been covered (I get it at Walgreens), but progesterone and the trigger shots have not been (I get those at a specialty pharmacy that does compounded meds - progesterone was partially covered the first time, but hasn’t been since). The RE may not even recommend injectables, and who knows...maybe my follies will have grown by Monday and we won’t want to change meds. But it’s nice to have some idea of what that could cost if that is something we will be considering! Thanks again!

inthewoods23 · July 2020

@bluetickgal just to piggy back on @shoogapoff's comments - double check with your insurance if they have a preferred specialty pharmacy. My IUI trigger shots (pregnyl) were through Schraffs as that was what my clinic recommended (I think their other recommendation was Mandela's). When I went to order my IVF meds through Schraffs, they actually told me my insurance only covers IVF meds through Freedom Pharmacy and directed me that way. I guess they weren't flagged about it the first 3 times for the IUIs 😑

When I looked on my insurance's "preferred meds/brands" list, Pregnyl wasn't even covered so I paid $100 some for it for the IUIs but used a different trigger that was covered for the ER and that cost was... $40 or $50?

legallykate · July 2020

@thegirlwhowaited I am not familiar with Letrozole but I think trying another IUI with a different protocol makes sense. We only jumped right to IVF because of my diagnosis, I would have loved to give IUI a try (or many tries) if it had made sense for us.

@bluetickgal I am sorry about your appointment yesterday, I will be sending you major follie growth vibes this weekend!

@shoogapoff How’s it going, cycle buddy? When do you have your first monitoring bw and u/s?

@inthewoods23 Even a day of wildlife sounds so nice, but I hope you get an overnight vacay too! I am glad therapy seems to be helping so much and that you and YH seem like such a great team in this fight.

AFM, I had my first monitoring appt today (after 3 days of stims) and was happy with my Estradiol level but disappointed there weren't many visible follies yet. Trying to keep in mind that it is super early and I usually have a long follicular phase so I am probably a slow grower. I'll take the injections over the mindf*ckness of IVF any day though

bluetickgal · July 2020

@inthewoods23 oh, thanks for the tips! Are those pharmacies online? When my RE gave me the progesterone prescription the first time, he told me there were only 2 pharmacies in town that did compounded meds. He recommended one over the other, so I just went there and have continued to for progesterone and trigger shots. Side note, I’ve paid $190 for the ovidrel shots...so, I clearly paid too much! 😒 I will definitely check with my insurance about what specialty pharmacies would be covered (if any)...I know they became a lot stricter on what they cover and from where this year! That is frustrating you didn’t know about their pharmacy restrictions for your IUI’s, but that’s good they told you for all the IVF meds at least!

@legallykate thanks, friend!! Sending you major follie growth vibes right back...hopefully those follies are just taking their time to get to the perfect size!! That’s great news your Estradiol level was good!

inthewoods23 · July 2020

@bluetickgal yes, they deliver the meds to you! Some of it needs to be refrigerated and so you'll get bonus ice packs to keep 😆 highly recommend!

keikilove · July 2020

Ooooh, friends, I am so excited reading so many of these updates! I will get all caught up with tags tomorrow. In the meantime:

@mvt2003 Thinking of you & sending all the positive vibes your way!💓😘💗😊🙏🏽 I totally get what you’re saying about your mindset. Can you do some mantras to shift your thinking? I’ve read women’s successful updates who say they spoke their positive outcomes into existence by repeating very specific mantras everyday, such as “My embryos are beautiful, healthy, and chromosomally normal. My womb is a welcoming nurturing environment for my perfect embryos.” Not sure what you think of stuff like this but just wanted to offer it up. I’m going to have to try something like this to shift my current mindset as well. Wishing you all the best!💗💗💗

@legallykate & @shoogapoff Thinking of both of you too & sending all the rest of my positive vibes!💗🙏🏽💗🙏🏽💗 Praying that everything goes perfectly with both of your cycles.

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