I broke last night. After weeks of getting increasingly annoyed, then angry, about people I love and trust just not giving a damn about COVID... I bawled myself to sleep. I’ve been sheltering in place, only going out for groceries and walks and always wearing a mask whenever people are near. I feel like I’m suffering for everyone else’s carelessness during a time where I want to be surrounded by people I love. I want to go to brunch. I want to hug my parents. I want to go on vacation. Instead, I resent everyone for not caring enough about the safety of others. I’m so tired of being angry and depressed, and I worry how this is affecting my baby. I’ve deleted social media so I’m not triggered, but then I also feel like I lose all connection that I have that way. I don’t know what I’m asking for here by posting, but I could really use an expecting mom who gets it.
@ddelattre. I get it!! I went back to work about a month ago to a job I really love!! It is so helpful from a mental health perspective to have somewhere to go, people to interact with, and an amazing job. However it is a public facing job and people just are acting stupid. After consulting with my Dr and my husband, we decided that I should no longer work there. Cases are increasing like wildfire here and people don't social distance or wear masks or really give a crap. We ended up having to close down parts of the experience that were inside and required people to wear masks, because the public was threatening our staff about having to wear them.
So I will be back to not leaving the house except to get my grocery pick up order and doctor's appointments. I broke down in tears for two days last week. This isn't the pregnancy I have dreamed about for many years. We can't see anyone or really celebrate. We haven't seen family or friends in months and it is so isolating.
Pregnancy is so hard my friend!! And this just makes it so much more difficult with the fear, frustration, and just uncertainty. Chin up sweet Momma (also need to hear that myself!!). You are doing the right thing for your little one.
@ddelattre I get it! I have been seriously considering deleting social media too because half of my family (the in law half) is actively posting rants about not wearing masks and how the pandemic is just an overblown media ploy to screw up the election. Needless to say, we are not spending time with them.
My family is generally responsible and supportive, but they all work or live out of town so getting together (or even talking on the phone) is just not an option when we feel safe enough to do so.
Hubs works a rotating schedule so he'll have 2-3 days in a row of 12 hour shifts + 1 hour drive each way. Basically that means days on end where I am isolated at home with no one to talk to and I can't leave because I won't take my boys out.
I am also so sick and tired of worrying every day how much worse things will get because people won't just follow simple guidelines. Just wear the mask and spend more time at home! We are the only developed country I know of without a "curve" because we have a plateau. Part of me wishes social media would all crash so the bs conspiracy theories wouldn't have a way to circulate. If people *had* to actually watch the news for updates then maybe it wouldn't be so easy to find "news" that suits their purposes.
@ddelattre I get it too! This will likely be our only baby and I get so sad sometimes that it’s not the dream pregnancy I was hoping for - being able to be out with friends and share our joy, having a shower, having our parents travel in when the baby is born. I don’t even think we’ll be able to have my fiancé’s kids at the hospital to meet their new sibling. And when I see people flouting the rules because of the minor discomfort of wearing a mask, or because they don’t want to be told what to do (what are you, 14?!?!), I just get so angry. And now our wedding next year is a risk too. I’m doing the work and making the sacrifices but these selfish a-holes are ruining it for everyone.
I used to be the kind of person who wants to believe that people are good at the core, and that - if left to their own devices - they’ll do what’s right for their fellow humans. This year has changed my mind a lot sadly
Ok, as posted before my sister is going ahead with her wedding and I have been struggling with the decision to go. As of this moment I plan to go. That said, I would welcome suggestions on how to stay safe, real world news about where I'm traveling if anyone has any, and insight on any other holes in my plan you think I missed.
I will leave northeast IN and drive to Indianapolis via rental Thurs morning. I'm flying on Southwest who is still only selling a portion of seats to allow more space between passengers. Flight is Indy - Vegas - Burbank From Burbank I'll drive with a couple of family members (mom, gma, sister) to Santa Barbara County.
I plan to wear a mask (I have 4 cloth and tons of disposable) at all times except in the hotel, in the car, while actually consuming food, or during the ceremony & pictures (will be wearing for the reception). The wedding and reception are outdoors.
I have a butt load of sanitizer and Lysol wipes for the whole trip.
As I understand it, the county we will be in is not allowing any indoor dining and masks are required in public. It is on alert due to an increase in cases but is not considered a hotspot.
Thursday - travel and bridesmaid dinner (read: low key bachelorette party) Friday - manicures, lunch, rehearsal/set up Saturday - noonish wedding, followed by intimate bonfire Sunday - brunch? then return to Burbank for last night closer to airport Monday- flights home - Burbank - Denver - Indy, drive via rental back home
Once home - wash everything, shower, and probably wear mask at home around family until I feel comfortable not doing so.
What am I missing? Is this insane? Please be honest.
@mom_of_the_vogels my mom is in the south bay near lax, her assistant told me la county has now re-closed beaches, aand they are still experiencing riots/protests in the wealthier areas (beach cities). Is their someone you could ask in Santa Barbara if that is true there as well?
I think the only other things you could do if you are set on going is self isolate for 14 days when you get back, and take a covid test.
@mom_of_the_vogels I agree with what @babymakes9 said about self-isolating if possible and getting a COVID test when you get home. The only other thing I could think to tell you is that I read an article on NPR about how you can increase the protection a mask provides to you personally by putting a section of pantyhose type material over it. Essentially, you are just sealing the edges of your mask so you aren’t breathing around gaps in the mask but only through it. It might look kind of silly, but might provide some extra protection anywhere you are especially nervous, like on your flight.
My father is in the hospital for uncontrolled bleeding. They have the bleeding stopped, and are pretty sure it's just lesions caused by Eliquis, but still want to do more tests to make sure it's not something like colon cancer. I want to go up and be there to support my mom. I know the doctor will say "no" (or, rather, "we'd prefer if you didn't"), but she's all alone and I can't stand not being there. Even if I can't go to the hospital it's still better if she's not alone when she comes home.
What should I do/ask to minimize risk? My dad was given a COVID test yesterday, my mom will be tested today. They've been isolating for months as they're both extremely high risk, so it's unlikely they are sick, so it's mostly the risk at the hospital (which I'm very worried about).
@akoros I’ve been hospitalized twice this pregnancy and the hospital is actually where I have been the least worried. Everyone around you is taking it seriously, used to wearing masks correctly and they know who is COVID + and not because every patient is tested on the way in. I mean I wouldn’t volunteer on a covid ward, but I felt safe in the two non covid units I was on.
Thank you , @the_road_to_oz! That's encouraging. Luckily they're in Pennsylvania, which is doing fairly well at the moment (relatively, that is), which also makes me feel a bit better about it.
@akoros I’m sorry to hear about your father. Fingers crossed that they can resolve it quickly and he can come home soon. As far as the hospital goes, I’m sure she will be wearing a mask and washing/sanitizing hands frequently. Other than that, I think the only things she could do would be to change clothes and shower immediately after she gets home.
@akoros I’m sorry to hear about your dad. I agree with the others that hospitals are probably doing a good job protecting everyone. If you’re not in or near a COVID floor, you’ll probably be relatively safe. And, as for seeing your parents when they go home, as long as you’ve all been doing well isolating and being careful, you’re probably ok to see just each other.
@mom_of_the_vogels California isn’t doing so well right now, LA in particular. It’s good you’re flying through Burbank and not LAX, though. A friend of mine who’s a nurse recently had to travel from the area for a sick family member and she also purposefully chose to avoid LAX and said that was a much better option. With the layover in Las Vegas, I’d probably suggest touching as little / being as far from everyone as possible.
Also not sure if you can opt out of any of the activities but avoiding anything where you’re out in public outside of a group of controlled people (manicures in a spa, drinks ar a bar, etc) would be best. If you can convince your sister to opt for something like drinks outside at the pool with just your group, over going out for something like the bachelorette, that’d be a much more controlled environment. I’m sure the closures will limit a lot of that stuff anyway. Do you know if everyone in the group has been good about isolating and being careful?
@akoros I don't have any advice but I hope for dad recovers quickly!
@laurenspdx I have already talked to some of the folks I'm traveling with to say I may sit out activities if I feel like there's too much risk. I'm sure the bride will be disappointed if I do opt out of stuff, but I refuse to be wreckless for her "wedding week" experience.
As far as people being careful - most of them have probably been pretty cautious but certainly not all of them. A few of them are in medical fields and are just wired for caution. A few are diligent and informed. A few are "just ready to be done" and I don't trust their judgement. Luckily, I'll spend most of my time with the former and even then I'll still be on alert and at a distance as much as possible.
@mom_of_the_vogels I would still keep your ears open as I hear travel may become restricted/not allowed soon...
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010. TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017 BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018. TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020 Due date was Nov 2020 DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma. TTC: March 2021 IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022 IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
@mom_of_the_vogels Sounds like you have the right mindset and expectations! I hope everyone is supportive of your decisions and that you can enjoy yourself a little and not feel too anxious the whole time.
Are there any concerns coming back into your state from a high risk area? I know states like NY and the city of Chicago are asking ppl coming from CA to quarantine upon return now.
@bearmomma1 I have been desperately hoping there would be a travel ban so I could justify not going and it not be "my fault". I want to support my sister, but I'm not very good at traveling due to anxiety which is exponentially worse with two little boys. They are staying home but that also means there is basically an entire country between me and them.
@laurenspdx absolutely. Unfortunately true quarantine upon return isn't possible, but I'll likely be wearing a mask even at home around my boys for a week or two. And sanitizing, and anything else I can do to protect them. I also will limit my interactions outside of home even more. I'd rather be excessive and overprotective than get anyone at all sick.
I saw this on Instagram today and it just really resonated with me and put what I’ve been thinking into words so I thought I’d share! We are all in this together. It is uncertain times
Haven’t really been feeling overly emotional or hormonal at all, but I did just have a big breakdown coming home from the grocery store. I know my family is lucky compared to so many people, but all the frustration with this pandemic and grief about missing the fun pregnancy stuff just really hits hard sometimes.
@laurenspdx I was just lamenting this t9 my DH .the other day. Their is no excitement, no plans, aand nothing to look forward to. This is definately our last baby, and we haven't been able to go eat my craving foods, go show off my belly, etc. It's also most likely my oldest last summer before graduating and working full time, and we haven't been able to go on any little adventures. I'm just so sad for all the experiences we are missing.
@laurenspdx@babymakes9 Same. I'm mostly not thinking too much about it, and know that we're very very lucky, but it's still sad to think about. Occasionally I'll forget, like the other day when I suggested we grab lunch at an old favorite bar after going to the dump, and was so depressed when my husband stared at me and asked, "so we're ok with eating in restaurants now?".
@akoros@babymakes9 I find I’m either just so blue about it or filled with anger at everyone not taking seriously. I just want to be able to be happy and enjoy this time without it being tainted
Sorry you’re both feeling the same. It’s good to know others can sympathize. I hope we’re all able to find some joy soon.
So, I went to California sister's wedding last weekend and made it back home Monday night. Here's kind of a long update...
I have been wearing a mask at home (and out in the world) if I'm in the same room/car as anyone else. I can't say I'm enjoying it at all, but to keep my boys safe I'll do it.
I was so thankful for how seriously Cali folks are taking it compared to Indiana. It still felt like a constant series of risks but it felt like most people were on the same "trying to stay healthy" team there. I was also blown away at how empty 3/4 planes were. If anyone *has* to consider air travel right now I highly recommend Southwest. Family who traveled on American and Delta didn't have the same experience.
The most terrifying part of the whole trip was, not surprisingly, the layover in Vegas 😳
Because all of my family (siblings and parents) went we are keeping our boys home and away from them for two weeks. That is honestly the worst part - them wanting to see cousins but knowing we have 9 days left.
There was a brief sister meltdown when the bride went zilla the day before during rehearsal/setup. I very assertively pointed out that I left my boys on the other side of the country and traveled to be a part of her day during a pandemic and as such refused to be treated like shit. I was told later by another sister that I must have hit a nerve because the bride had a sidebar where she said something about feeling guilty and irresponsible. That's not at all what I was aiming for, but it was/is nice to know she has some perspective on what she asked of people. I also found out part of the reason for not postponing was that the bride and groom realized there was no way to predict when things would get better so they decided to just go for it and make the best of the situation.
Ultimately it was a beautiful wedding and not the nightmarish trip I was worried about. I'm glad I went, glad it's over, and will feel much better once we hit the 28th and the 2 weeks of hypervigilance at home is over.
@mom_of_the_vogels Glad to hear you’re back safe and that it went well! I’m sure you’re very relieved it’s over. Hopefully you’ll continue to feel good for the next couple weeks and fan out your mind at ease then.
@mom_of_the_vogels I am so glad that everything turned out well. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that the next couple of weeks passes quickly for you, and you stay healthy!
@mom_of_the_vogels thank you for the update - I'm so glad to hear that it was a fun experience! I'll be crossing my fingers that the next week passes quickly and symptom-free for you and your family
Ok there are a lot of comments here so I didn’t go through them all but do we have any teachers here? I honestly was excited to go back until all of these studies are showing the effects COVID can have on the mother and baby. We just got the news we will be 5 days a week or students can choose virtual. I’m so torn on what to do...so I try to get a virtual classroom? I’m honestly dying inside my house but don’t want to risk any harm to my son. Also I have 3 other children and one is starting kindergarten. I have no clue what to do anymore.
@hham10 I am in higher ed. I refuse to go back to the classroom. Luckily they are allowing me to teach virtually. I would want the same if I were working with younger ones. We also are unlikely to send DD back to daycare. It’s going to be impossible, but I figure if one of us gets COVID, the outcome could be far worse and I’m willing to deal with the inconvenience. This all just really sucks.
MH and I have been talking a lot about schooling and COVID. It's incredibly difficult. We are both docs and don't have kids in school, only my siblings are both in college... so our perspective is really as outsiders. Because of our careers, we know we will be dependent on our children going to school for childcare. While we are fortunate to have the financial means to hire a team of help if schools/daycares were shut down for some reason, it would still be financially devastating. This is two. doctors. My heart is so broken for the millions and millions of families who do not have the financial and social means to get childcare outside of school. It is clear that because schools are not safe in many places, as many of you have mentioned above, the socioeconomic disparity that will result is enormous, and will likely immensely harm those families who can't afford extra help. FURTHERMORE women's careers are disproportionately affected by this challenge. Working women shoulder the extra childcare and homeschooling by a proportion of 150-200% compared to working men during COVID. And I don't blame the teachers who decide to quit because they don't want to put their and their family's health at risk. We are struggling with nurses quitting for the same reasons. I don't blame them one bit. You make a work environment unsafe and what do "leaders" expect?
I have moments of apathy about COVID just because I'm all feelings-outed about it. The inadequate response has led us to this point of completely out-of-control COVID, seeping into every little fiber of our society. Children safely going to school has been an integral part of how society runs and its disintegration in the coming year will have lasting effects. And I didn't even get started on how damaging it will be for the kids and their education.... sheesh.
Big virtual hugs to all the teachers and parents struggling with these insane times and challenges.
@jchpg mentally I’ve been struggling with this pretty much since April so all I ever wanted was to be back in the classroom. I was fine with that until about 2 weeks ago. I emailed my principal tonight but it’ll be some time to see if I’m even eligible to teach from home and to be honest I dread the significant increase in work by working from home and out of my comfort zone but I feel I can’t be selfish. My oldest will be in K and my daughter will be in preK. I have no clue how we’ll find the time to homeschool??
@gh1219 I completely hear your frustrations. The only reason we can make it work to keep DD home is we’re fortunate to be in semi flexible jobs, but we know this could cost us one or both jobs- due to lack of time to progress with work. We are already preparing for this economically, and mentally.
For me the biggest eye opener of this pandemic has been how school has become such a lifeline for some and that this is completely tied to socioeconomics. I think we’ve all know this for a long time, but the real impact is now so clear. I have hope that one positive thing to come from this will be real systemic change to improve these disparities.
Ok there are a lot of comments here so I didn’t go through them all but do we have any teachers here? I honestly was excited to go back until all of these studies are showing the effects COVID can have on the mother and baby. We just got the news we will be 5 days a week or students can choose virtual. I’m so torn on what to do...so I try to get a virtual classroom? I’m honestly dying inside my house but don’t want to risk any harm to my son. Also I have 3 other children and one is starting kindergarten. I have no clue what to do anymore.
I think IF you have the choice to do virtual you should. It sucks, it seems to be way more work and planning than in person but it’s the safer option. If you have to go back perhaps you can demand everyone wear masks in your class and keep window open with a fan or some sort of ventilation.
I teach k-8 art. I don’t know what the plan is going to be yet. It’s a small catholic school as of now the archdiocese definitely wants students back at school. But that that will look like I’m not sure. I think students might spend less time with specialist. Or maybe classes will rotate weekly through specialists instead of all specialists in one week. This would give me about 1/2 of the schoool every 2 weeks Instead of the whole school
They sent out a survey to the parents asking if they prefer in person/distance learning but they haven’t asked the teachers. They have a committee but I don’t know who’s on that committee. I’m nervous.
It’s a lot of kids.
It’s a pretty politically conservative school and this virus has become so politicized I’m worried that people won’t be taking it seriously.
@hham10 I’m there with you. It kills me not to be with students, but I also know if I get sick or die I am no use to them. I have multiple health risks and have had multiple losses, so early on my family choose to take this with no risks- we’ve literally been sheltering in place pretty strictly since March.
I started my dream job less then a year ago and I feel like this whole pandemic has ripped it away from me. I really miss my students. Also, online teaching sucks and is WAY more work to make it effective and a good experience for everyone (especially bc I’ve never done it or had real training). I’m just trying to stay positive that my the time my maternity leave is over, we will have some resemblance of normalcy again.
@autumn87654321 my Uni is also a small private religious institution. They resisted for a long time, and are still insisting on, on campus housing and at least some face to face instruction. They also never bothered to ask faculty and staff their opinions 🤷🏼♀️
@hham10 I teach in Brooklyn, I have applied to teach online only since I have two medical conditions that the CDC says are at higher risk, pregnancy and BMI over 30. I'm working on getting the letter from my doctor now. You should absolutely try.
FWIW throughout the entire pandemic NYC has had active childcare and education centers going. Originally it was only for the children of first responders and hospital employees (it was part of the agreement when they shut down schools) and then they extended it to the children of ALL essential workers. Basically, the parents who must go to work have been covered. NY has NOT abandoned its children or parents. At least not NYC.
@gh1219 1000%. It infuriates me that the choice we’re left with is to either risk our children and teacher’s health, or ask working families (especially economically disadvantaged families and women) to should more of a burden. If we had a real response and would have done things right from the start, we wouldn’t have to be left with that as our only choice.
I do not have children & I’m not a teacher BUT I will say that we’ve explained to friends and family members that do, that if they are either attending school in person or are teaching in person that we’re going to choose to not see them until this is over. In the case of my SIL who teaches 2nd grade, we said she’d have to wear a mask around us.
DH is trying to convince her to do virtual or not go back at all. I guess in our county in FL at least they told her that if she does virtual that she loses her tenure and spot at her school which is ridiculous to me. We’re hoping our school board votes to stay virtual only for the first semester and that would solve a lot of personal concerns for us - but I understand it will make things extremely difficult for working parents the rest of this year and so it’s selfish of me.
The only saving grace is that our babies are due close to Christmas break and so ideally she will be able to meet her niece over the break since she won’t be in school shortly after our due date.
Re: COVID-19 Pandemic Discussion thread
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
So I will be back to not leaving the house except to get my grocery pick up order and doctor's appointments. I broke down in tears for two days last week. This isn't the pregnancy I have dreamed about for many years. We can't see anyone or really celebrate. We haven't seen family or friends in months and it is so isolating.
Pregnancy is so hard my friend!! And this just makes it so much more difficult with the fear, frustration, and just uncertainty. Chin up sweet Momma (also need to hear that myself!!). You are doing the right thing for your little one.
My family is generally responsible and supportive, but they all work or live out of town so getting together (or even talking on the phone) is just not an option when we feel safe enough to do so.
Hubs works a rotating schedule so he'll have 2-3 days in a row of 12 hour shifts + 1 hour drive each way. Basically that means days on end where I am isolated at home with no one to talk to and I can't leave because I won't take my boys out.
I am also so sick and tired of worrying every day how much worse things will get because people won't just follow simple guidelines. Just wear the mask and spend more time at home! We are the only developed country I know of without a "curve" because we have a plateau. Part of me wishes social media would all crash so the bs conspiracy theories wouldn't have a way to circulate. If people *had* to actually watch the news for updates then maybe it wouldn't be so easy to find "news" that suits their purposes.
I used to be the kind of person who wants to believe that people are good at the core, and that - if left to their own devices - they’ll do what’s right for their fellow humans. This year has changed my mind a lot sadly
I will leave northeast IN and drive to Indianapolis via rental Thurs morning. I'm flying on Southwest who is still only selling a portion of seats to allow more space between passengers.
Flight is Indy - Vegas - Burbank
From Burbank I'll drive with a couple of family members (mom, gma, sister) to Santa Barbara County.
I plan to wear a mask (I have 4 cloth and tons of disposable) at all times except in the hotel, in the car, while actually consuming food, or during the ceremony & pictures (will be wearing for the reception). The wedding and reception are outdoors.
I have a butt load of sanitizer and Lysol wipes for the whole trip.
As I understand it, the county we will be in is not allowing any indoor dining and masks are required in public. It is on alert due to an increase in cases but is not considered a hotspot.
Thursday - travel and bridesmaid dinner (read: low key bachelorette party)
Friday - manicures, lunch, rehearsal/set up
Saturday - noonish wedding, followed by intimate bonfire
Sunday - brunch? then return to Burbank for last night closer to airport
Monday- flights home - Burbank - Denver - Indy, drive via rental back home
Once home - wash everything, shower, and probably wear mask at home around family until I feel comfortable not doing so.
What am I missing? Is this insane? Please be honest.
I think the only other things you could do if you are set on going is self isolate for 14 days when you get back, and take a covid test.
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
What should I do/ask to minimize risk? My dad was given a COVID test yesterday, my mom will be tested today. They've been isolating for months as they're both extremely high risk, so it's unlikely they are sick, so it's mostly the risk at the hospital (which I'm very worried about).
@mom_of_the_vogels California isn’t doing so well right now, LA in particular. It’s good you’re flying through Burbank and not LAX, though. A friend of mine who’s a nurse recently had to travel from the area for a sick family member and she also purposefully chose to avoid LAX and said that was a much better option. With the layover in Las Vegas, I’d probably suggest touching as little / being as far from everyone as possible.
Also not sure if you can opt out of any of the activities but avoiding anything where you’re out in public outside of a group of controlled people (manicures in a spa, drinks ar a bar, etc) would be best. If you can convince your sister to opt for something like drinks outside at the pool with just your group, over going out for something like the bachelorette, that’d be a much more controlled environment. I’m sure the closures will limit a lot of that stuff anyway. Do you know if everyone in the group has been good about isolating and being careful?
@laurenspdx I have already talked to some of the folks I'm traveling with to say I may sit out activities if I feel like there's too much risk. I'm sure the bride will be disappointed if I do opt out of stuff, but I refuse to be wreckless for her "wedding week" experience.
As far as people being careful - most of them have probably been pretty cautious but certainly not all of them. A few of them are in medical fields and are just wired for caution. A few are diligent and informed. A few are "just ready to be done" and I don't trust their judgement. Luckily, I'll spend most of my time with the former and even then I'll still be on alert and at a distance as much as possible.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP. MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.
Are there any concerns coming back into your state from a high risk area? I know states like NY and the city of Chicago are asking ppl coming from CA to quarantine upon return now.
@laurenspdx absolutely. Unfortunately true quarantine upon return isn't possible, but I'll likely be wearing a mask even at home around my boys for a week or two. And sanitizing, and anything else I can do to protect them. I also will limit my interactions outside of home even more. I'd rather be excessive and overprotective than get anyone at all sick.
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
Sorry you’re both feeling the same. It’s good to know others can sympathize. I hope we’re all able to find some joy soon.
I have been wearing a mask at home (and out in the world) if I'm in the same room/car as anyone else. I can't say I'm enjoying it at all, but to keep my boys safe I'll do it.
I was so thankful for how seriously Cali folks are taking it compared to Indiana. It still felt like a constant series of risks but it felt like most people were on the same "trying to stay healthy" team there. I was also blown away at how empty 3/4 planes were. If anyone *has* to consider air travel right now I highly recommend Southwest. Family who traveled on American and Delta didn't have the same experience.
The most terrifying part of the whole trip was, not surprisingly, the layover in Vegas 😳
Because all of my family (siblings and parents) went we are keeping our boys home and away from them for two weeks. That is honestly the worst part - them wanting to see cousins but knowing we have 9 days left.
There was a brief sister meltdown when the bride went zilla the day before during rehearsal/setup. I very assertively pointed out that I left my boys on the other side of the country and traveled to be a part of her day during a pandemic and as such refused to be treated like shit. I was told later by another sister that I must have hit a nerve because the bride had a sidebar where she said something about feeling guilty and irresponsible. That's not at all what I was aiming for, but it was/is nice to know she has some perspective on what she asked of people. I also found out part of the reason for not postponing was that the bride and groom realized there was no way to predict when things would get better so they decided to just go for it and make the best of the situation.
Ultimately it was a beautiful wedding and not the nightmarish trip I was worried about. I'm glad I went, glad it's over, and will feel much better once we hit the 28th and the 2 weeks of hypervigilance at home is over.
MH and I have been talking a lot about schooling and COVID. It's incredibly difficult. We are both docs and don't have kids in school, only my siblings are both in college... so our perspective is really as outsiders. Because of our careers, we know we will be dependent on our children going to school for childcare. While we are fortunate to have the financial means to hire a team of help if schools/daycares were shut down for some reason, it would still be financially devastating. This is two. doctors. My heart is so broken for the millions and millions of families who do not have the financial and social means to get childcare outside of school. It is clear that because schools are not safe in many places, as many of you have mentioned above, the socioeconomic disparity that will result is enormous, and will likely immensely harm those families who can't afford extra help. FURTHERMORE women's careers are disproportionately affected by this challenge. Working women shoulder the extra childcare and homeschooling by a proportion of 150-200% compared to working men during COVID. And I don't blame the teachers who decide to quit because they don't want to put their and their family's health at risk. We are struggling with nurses quitting for the same reasons. I don't blame them one bit. You make a work environment unsafe and what do "leaders" expect?
I have moments of apathy about COVID just because I'm all feelings-outed about it. The inadequate response has led us to this point of completely out-of-control COVID, seeping into every little fiber of our society. Children safely going to school has been an integral part of how society runs and its disintegration in the coming year will have lasting effects. And I didn't even get started on how damaging it will be for the kids and their education.... sheesh.
Big virtual hugs to all the teachers and parents struggling with these insane times and challenges.
They sent out a survey to the parents asking if they prefer in person/distance learning but they haven’t asked the teachers. They have a committee but I don’t know who’s on that committee. I’m nervous.
The only saving grace is that our babies are due close to Christmas break and so ideally she will be able to meet her niece over the break since she won’t be in school shortly after our due date.