Agreed we’d definitely have to nominate admins and come up with some kind of criteria to join.
All good! With @1sttimemomma98 like I said I wasn’t trying to exclude or be bitchy. I just personally had never seen her before. Another reason to have a diverse admin team! There are certain threads that don’t pertain to me that I don’t check into so I may never know how heavily someone participates! I genuinely hope she hangs around and grows with us!
I think we should stay here a little longer though. Maybe in another 2 months or so move to private TB board? I think once we’re there we’ll have pretty much everyone who would come to FB. We could use that time to weed out the crazies and get more comfortable with each other in a more private space and then decide when and how to move to FB.
I’m all for open discussion. I think those of us who have been through this before all have different experiences that can add value to how we do it this time.
On a totally different note, since it seems like we have a bunch of mamas on here who crave birth stories (me, me, me)....I wanted to start a thread for STM+ to share their birth experiences...but the "start new discussion" button is missing from my app and when I log in with my computer. Does anyone have it!?
I’m good with whatever decision the majority wants when it comes to a private TB board vs Facebook vs keeping it how it is. I do think it gets easier to get to remember everybody once you move to FB. I was on a different board for my first two pregnancies and we all moved to FB about a month or so before delivery. I am still active in both of those groups and I love those ladies like sisters and their kids all feel like extended nieces and nephews. I do agree with having strict vetting measures to make sure nobody creepy sneaks in though!
To jump in on the conversation about private bump groups and Facebook, I have a few thoughts.
From my March19 group, we had both a private bump group and a Facebook group. Most who were generally considered active were invited to both. There were some ladies who preferred one format over another, some who used only one, some who were comfortable with Facebook, others who weren't, and some who did both! I think it's a nice idea to have the option to do either one or both depending on varying levels of comfort.
I have a kneejerk reaction against the idea of a vetting process that includes proving we're pregnant. I'm all for weeding out lurkers and only inviting people who participate, but I've also seen groups tear each other apart by having too strict of a vetting process that really turns people off or alienates those who don't post pictures online for privacy reasons. I think there's a middle ground to be had between keeping things to smaller numbers of people we've gotten to know while also not falling into any traps where we become cliguey.
These are just general thoughts, and not directed at anyone's responses above! Those who are on the Week 2 thread know that I've just been through a big drama fallout on my March19 facebook group, so I think I'm extra wary that we start how we mean to continue while also having a good amount of grace for those who participate online in different ways.
I think the idea of labour buddies sounds super fun too!
Jumping into the convo RE: private TB group/FB group, I'm cool with staying here for the time being. We're really only about 1/2 way along (just hit 18wk today HOORAY!), so while I am totally down for a private group on TB and eventually FB, I'm not *quite* ready for it. I would propose we look into starting a private TB board sometime around 3rd trimester for everyone and play it by ear on when to move to FB, maybe a couple months after babies are born? That way we can share our birth stories and new squish photos and more personal details without them being on complete display for anyone in the world to see, while still getting to know everyone. Yes, you can be *relatively* safe on FB with having your profile on lockdown, but I've heard so many horror stories from previous BMBs that it's a justified concern if people aren't comfortable sharing that level of information yet.
And I think if we rush to a private TB group we'd end up unintentionally leave people/late comers out, also it sometimes takes a while for people to warm up and feel comfortable posting often on TB. I was very active in my N18 on TB because I had just been in TTGP for over 18mo, but this time around it's a learning curve to relearn TB and I don't always check in as often. I absolutely love my N18 group, but sometimes feel like we went to FB slightly too fast (private TB board idea was shot down by majority) and we sadly lost a couple ladies when we went from TB to FB, there's since been some issues now resulting in two separate groups, but nothing too explosive thankfully. Just food for thought.
@crizz13 love the birth story STM+ thread idea When I have time I'll share mine for my DD
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
@lurvleybunchococonuts yes to everything. My S14 board had a split too. We have 2 separate FB groups as well. I definitely think we should linger here longer for any late comers to have a shot!
@lurvleybunchococonuts@ecat504@everyone lol! I think sometime around beginning of third tri sounds good! Gives us a couple more months to participate on here and get further along.
Oh my goodness FINALLY! I have not been able to comment or like anything since Monday. I have tried on a desktop, my phone, my kindle! I could read but there wasn’t any like button or comment box. Weird! I’m going to try to catch up and respond now. This is all going to ramble probably 😂
I still think it’s a little early to move over to FB. I think we need a little more time. A18 has two groups. The one I’m in is just a small group of us who were the core posters and then we kinda had a vote on others. There were a few people who didn’t get voted in because they had caused drama or were unkind at some point. There is also another group that let anyone who wanted to join in. There was no vetting or anything. I didn’t join that one mostly because we had a catfish sorta situation going on that was never solved.
This was How we did “birth buddies” in my A18 group. We had already moved to FB by then. You could sign up to have a buddy who you would text or call with info on labor progression etc. Then your buddy would make a separate post Updating the group. If you didn’t choose to have a buddy you did it yourself.
@windywoman The same thing happened to me!!! I haven't been able to post anything for a couple days now. Just randomly started working again... So annoying!
@crizz13 The birth story thread is probably a good idea... But I don't think I can read any more stories today... As a FTM I'm terrified now!!! 😂
@everyone would love to be part of a private TB or FB group whenever everyone is ready!
Finally - FINALLY - able to post again. Thanks glitchy af TB.
I am team TB private group, then FB as well, and I like the idea of waiting another month or so before doing anything. I'm a very private person, and while I do have my FB locked down pretty well, I am loathe to jump in too quick or with too many.
And yay for birth stories!
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013 Started TTC August 2016 BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17 BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17 BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18 BFP: 2/27/20
I also was locked out! It was like I was set back to new member status where I couldn't post anything for 72 hrs. I emailed support and they said it was a glitch but so so so annoying!!! I felt like i wanted to tell you all wht I was missing but couldn't do that either!🙈 Glad that's over!
I've liked reading the birth stories! I was thinking same as @mia80 that as a FTM maybe I shouldn't read any more because so much can happen and i have no experience! It's like I'm going to have to take a test but have no way to really study/practice! My midwife encouraged me that to do more research on birth and hear more birth stories to help prepare myself but I think along with my research I'll have to give myself lots of positive affirmations about how my body is made to do the work and I'll be taken care of by people who know whats going on!
As far as moving groups, I'm kind of old fashion and actually don't have fb. I've considered getting it because I've really enjoy connecting with and learning from all of you and it feels like I'd be loosing lots of friends to not eventually follow you all there...i guess I'll have to think about that some more! So for me, if you all would stick around for a bit longer, I'd appreciate it but I also understand if and when it comes time to move if I don't end up coming with. I don't know much about the private bump group but I'm sure whatever is decided will be ok! I trust the ones with experience to make a good decision😊
I am also all for a private TB group. I do have FB, but I rarely use it. I really enjoy this group, and I hope to continue enjoying y’all’s company and support into motherhood, whatever platform that may be.
I was also dealing with a TB glitch that wouldn't let me post! Also I wasn't seeing "new" updates and the threads all started at the beginning when I opened them! June Randoms had 60 new posts, so I just tried to catch up...
Other than the glitching platform, I like the consistency we have right now posting in our group here, and I like that it's separate from FB right now because I can more mindfully just focus on our discussions here. I would be fine with either a private TB or FB group, but maybe a little later, because I feel like I'm still getting to know people here. I explore a couple new threads each week and meet new people. I'm in the Week 1 weekly post and don't read the Intros (there are so many + replies), so I feel like there are many who I don't know yet.
This made me laugh so hard today. I left my phone unattended for max 5 minutes. The 2 yr old grabbed my phone, apparently opened my peanut app and messaged a new “connection” so a new potential mom friend I hadn’t had a chance to introduce myself to...I thought her standard text she chose and gifs were HILARIOUS. Also 100% zero kidding. Seems so improbable. I laughed so hard and then apologized and intro’d myself. Hopefully she has a sense of humor.
@name1109 lmao toddlers are the worst yet the absolute best at the same time 🤣 that sounds like something DD would do 😂 she loves to videochat with gma but if we are talking and she isn't "part" of the convo she'll yell "BYE", wave, blow a kiss, and hang up 🤦🏻😂😂😂
They are freaky good at operating smartphones!
BFP 3/21/2020! OMG We're having TWINS! 4/17/2020 -------------------------------- LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby! -------------------------------- Me: 33 | DH: 41 Married: March 2016 TTC #1/IUD out January 2017 PCOS dx January 2018 Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018 BFP 3/10/2018! -------------------------------
TTGP December Siggy Co-Winner: Favorite Moments from Holiday Movies/TV
Add me to being locked out of replying or reacting to people's comments for a few days. So annoying!
As for the private group or FB- my O'17 group moved to a private group around this time and then moved to FB a few weeks later. I completely understand not wanting to move over too early but I do want to say that being on FB before the babies were born was INCREDIBLY useful. I dont think I would have survived had I not been able to hop on facebook and easily ask a question that everyone could directly reply to (where all the responding comments are directly attached to the original comment). I cant imagine being a new mom asking questions on TB and having to scroll to find responses and advice. Sounds like a PITA. Obviously if no one is comfortable moving over to FB before the babies are born I'll just find a different FB group to join but I really enjoyed being in a smaller group and knowing who I'm interacting with.
As for birth stories- in my O'17 group since we were on FB by the time babies were born we created "events" in our group when someone went into labor. So when I went into labor I created a new event called "M's Waiting Room" and then I was able to give updates in the event and people were able to comment on the event and it was separate from every day posting. We had labor buddies. I dont remember using mine much. It was also nice to do events on FB because I posted my birth story in my event and now its ridiculously easy for me to pull up the event and read my birth story.
Just my 2 cents. I have my FB locked down and wouldn't friend anyone until I felt I could trust them. I have a terrible time remembering people on TB because of the format and find it incredibly easier to get to know people on FB. But I'm down for whatever everyone is comfortable with!
Ugh. I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking about our gender reveal we did yesterday. Different pic posted in ‘Its A...’ thread, but there are some pics in the spoiler of you’re interested. It’s a GIRL! We couldn’t be more excited.
@dumbledoredies said she did it in her past FB group with the events for each persons labor (should they choose to go that route). Just seemed to streamline the whole thing. I agree — sifting through a whole group of posts and remember which thread it was in would probably be super frustrating when you’re in labor. Either way, I like our little group of humans (presuming were all human), and I’m cool to hang in either place and continue to grow with you ladies!
Well that’s annoying. It chopped my post in half!!!
I was trying to say, for whatever my opinion is worth, Ive been following the private TB vs FB migration conversation and I’m cool with either. I can understand that some people have had really awful experiences with fakes, catfish, and other unnecessary drama spilling into real life and honestly, now is not the time to have to deal with stuff like that. But! I will say, I personally am far more active on the typical social media platforms. But in either case I’ll be around because y’all have so much knowledge to impart on this FTM!
I like the idea of going to a private Bump group soonish. I know I haven't posted many pictures yet because this is a public forum and there are weird people out there in internet land.
My F19 group did something similar to what the other ladies are saying with a group of admins to create the private group and approve the invites/ requests based off basically any consistent participation in the general group. Then after a couple weeks did another round of invites so people who weren't as active had a chance to participate more and move over to the private group.
We went to FB a month or 2 prior (following a similar protocol) which really allowed us to get to know real names and associate people with screen names before babies came and we forgot how to think haha
I agree with being on FB before babies come because those MOTN hours and conversations are much more manageable on FB
We got the house!!! I'm so, so, so excited. I was incredibly worried we were going to end up back in an apartment but this time with a toddler, a baby, and 2 cats lol. And we got the house at a price point where we should be able to do some upgrades when we first get in. Closing on both our current home and new home should be in about a month. Yay!
@ksdelong20 yes, those MOTN conversations were so beneficial and very manageable on FB!
I would rather wait to do the transition to a private group or FB group to get to know people better than doing it early on. I had a rough go at it with depression and hormone craziness with my rainbow baby and wasn’t as active in the beginning with my bump group. Therefore, I was not accepted in the private group. So I think it would be better to give each other a better chance to get more involved before making the switch.
Thank you everyone! We have so much work to do to pack and everything. Part of the reason we decided to move this year was because everything is cancelled this summer anyways so why not spend it busy moving, lol.
@dumbledoredies congrats love!! I also wholeheartedly agree on your POV for the FB group. I literally would not have survived without the transition to FB a few months prior as TB is just SO not user-friendly.
So we went and looked at some homes today after work. The very last one we looked at we fell in love with and decided to put in an offer right away! We just signed and sent back the forms to our realtor and she will submit them first thing tomorrow. We are crossing everything 🙏🙏 all good thoughts/prayers/etc. are very much appreciated
Re: June Randoms
SO
SD (11/2010)
DD1 (09/2014)
DD2 (10/2015)
Baby Girl #4 (11/2020)
SO
SD (11/2010)
DD1 (09/2014)
DD2 (10/2015)
Baby Girl #4 (11/2020)
From my March19 group, we had both a private bump group and a Facebook group. Most who were generally considered active were invited to both. There were some ladies who preferred one format over another, some who used only one, some who were comfortable with Facebook, others who weren't, and some who did both! I think it's a nice idea to have the option to do either one or both depending on varying levels of comfort.
I have a kneejerk reaction against the idea of a vetting process that includes proving we're pregnant. I'm all for weeding out lurkers and only inviting people who participate, but I've also seen groups tear each other apart by having too strict of a vetting process that really turns people off or alienates those who don't post pictures online for privacy reasons. I think there's a middle ground to be had between keeping things to smaller numbers of people we've gotten to know while also not falling into any traps where we become cliguey.
These are just general thoughts, and not directed at anyone's responses above! Those who are on the Week 2 thread know that I've just been through a big drama fallout on my March19 facebook group, so I think I'm extra wary that we start how we mean to continue while also having a good amount of grace for those who participate online in different ways.
I think the idea of labour buddies sounds super fun too!
And I think if we rush to a private TB group we'd end up unintentionally leave people/late comers out, also it sometimes takes a while for people to warm up and feel comfortable posting often on TB. I was very active in my N18 on TB because I had just been in TTGP for over 18mo, but this time around it's a learning curve to relearn TB and I don't always check in as often. I absolutely love my N18 group, but sometimes feel like we went to FB slightly too fast (private TB board idea was shot down by majority) and we sadly lost a couple ladies when we went from TB to FB, there's since been some issues now resulting in two separate groups, but nothing too explosive thankfully. Just food for thought.
@crizz13 love the birth story STM+ thread idea
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
SO
SD (11/2010)
DD1 (09/2014)
DD2 (10/2015)
Baby Girl #4 (11/2020)
Also, loving the birth stories!!! Great idea.
This is all going to ramble probably 😂
I still think it’s a little early to move over to FB. I think we need a little more time. A18 has two groups. The one I’m in is just a small group of us who were the core posters and then we kinda had a vote on others. There were a few people who didn’t get voted in because they had caused drama or were unkind at some point. There is also another group that let anyone who wanted to join in. There was no vetting or anything. I didn’t join that one mostly because we had a catfish sorta situation going on that was never solved.
@crizz13 The birth story thread is probably a good idea... But I don't think I can read any more stories today... As a FTM I'm terrified now!!! 😂
@everyone would love to be part of a private TB or FB group whenever everyone is ready!
I am team TB private group, then FB as well, and I like the idea of waiting another month or so before doing anything. I'm a very private person, and while I do have my FB locked down pretty well, I am loathe to jump in too quick or with too many.
And yay for birth stories!
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
I've liked reading the birth stories! I was thinking same as @mia80 that as a FTM maybe I shouldn't read any more because so much can happen and i have no experience! It's like I'm going to have to take a test but have no way to really study/practice! My midwife encouraged me that to do more research on birth and hear more birth stories to help prepare myself but I think along with my research I'll have to give myself lots of positive affirmations about how my body is made to do the work and I'll be taken care of by people who know whats going on!
As far as moving groups, I'm kind of old fashion and actually don't have fb. I've considered getting it because I've really enjoy connecting with and learning from all of you and it feels like I'd be loosing lots of friends to not eventually follow you all there...i guess I'll have to think about that some more! So for me, if you all would stick around for a bit longer, I'd appreciate it but I also understand if and when it comes time to move if I don't end up coming with. I don't know much about the private bump group but I'm sure whatever is decided will be ok! I trust the ones with experience to make a good decision😊
Other than the glitching platform, I like the consistency we have right now posting in our group here, and I like that it's separate from FB right now because I can more mindfully just focus on our discussions here. I would be fine with either a private TB or FB group, but maybe a little later, because I feel like I'm still getting to know people here. I explore a couple new threads each week and meet new people. I'm in the Week 1 weekly post and don't read the Intros (there are so many + replies), so I feel like there are many who I don't know yet.
They are freaky good at operating smartphones!
--------------------------------
LO arrived 11/9/2018! We have a baby!
--------------------------------
Me: 33 | DH: 41
Married: March 2016
TTC #1/IUD out January 2017
PCOS dx January 2018
Medicated cycle 2.5mg Letrozole CD3-7 February 2018
BFP 3/10/2018!
-------------------------------
As for the private group or FB- my O'17 group moved to a private group around this time and then moved to FB a few weeks later. I completely understand not wanting to move over too early but I do want to say that being on FB before the babies were born was INCREDIBLY useful. I dont think I would have survived had I not been able to hop on facebook and easily ask a question that everyone could directly reply to (where all the responding comments are directly attached to the original comment). I cant imagine being a new mom asking questions on TB and having to scroll to find responses and advice. Sounds like a PITA. Obviously if no one is comfortable moving over to FB before the babies are born I'll just find a different FB group to join but I really enjoyed being in a smaller group and knowing who I'm interacting with.
As for birth stories- in my O'17 group since we were on FB by the time babies were born we created "events" in our group when someone went into labor. So when I went into labor I created a new event called "M's Waiting Room" and then I was able to give updates in the event and people were able to comment on the event and it was separate from every day posting. We had labor buddies. I dont remember using mine much. It was also nice to do events on FB because I posted my birth story in my event and now its ridiculously easy for me to pull up the event and read my birth story.
Just my 2 cents. I have my FB locked down and wouldn't friend anyone until I felt I could trust them. I have a terrible time remembering people on TB because of the format and find it incredibly easier to get to know people on FB. But I'm down for whatever everyone is comfortable with!
SO
SD (11/2010)
DD1 (09/2014)
DD2 (10/2015)
Baby Girl #4 (11/2020)
My F19 group did something similar to what the other ladies are saying with a group of admins to create the private group and approve the invites/ requests based off basically any consistent participation in the general group. Then after a couple weeks did another round of invites so people who weren't as active had a chance to participate more and move over to the private group.
We went to FB a month or 2 prior (following a similar protocol) which really allowed us to get to know real names and associate people with screen names before babies came and we forgot how to think haha
I agree with being on FB before babies come because those MOTN hours and conversations are much more manageable on FB
@ksdelong20 yes, those MOTN conversations were so beneficial and very manageable on FB!
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20