Ask a STM, June Edition

kboydbowman · June 2020

FTMs, have any pregnancy or baby-related questions? Ask the STMs (and TTM and Fourth TM, you get it)!

jgrodo · June 2020

I'm sure there will be a spotlight post on strollers I'm just wondering if anyone has a rec for a double stroller or strong preference of tandem vs side by side seating

baseballismyfavoriteseason · June 2020

@jgrodo I just tagged you in an earlier conversation we were having! Hopefully that will help, but feel free to ask more questions!

amapa20 · June 2020

For any mamas who work from home (normally), any advice on when to start childcare? I was planning on January, but then I got advice from my coworker to wait until July or so. Everyone says "it depends on you and your baby", but I've never been a mom and I've never met my baby so I'm clueless

And I'm a little anxious to get in line for a daycare with the stories I've been seeing on this forum.

Curious to hear other people's experiences. Could you still get work done with a kiddo attached? Successfully participate in conference calls? Etc

baseballismyfavoriteseason · June 2020

@amapa20 Unfortunately the advise “it depends” is completely accurate. I did it for a few months with my first baby and STRUGGLED. My child only wanted to be held, wouldn’t sleep in his crib didn’t nurse well... I ended up voluntarily going back into the office a couple days a week because it wasn’t going well. Then once they’re mobile, it gets that much harder. But I know there’s at least one mom in this group that had a good experience! I will say this: get in line now. You don’t want to find yourself in a spot where you’re pulling your hair out because you can’t work, but cant find a spot in a daycare for another 6 months. Some places will let you keep your spot on the waitlist even if you decline the first spot that comes available, and some places will send you to the back of the line, so be sure to ask that question.

themoonandme · June 2020

@amapa20 I wfh always and my 3 kids are home with me for the most part. I would say that it is easier before baby becomes mobile, but also depends on your baby! I had one that would be fine on the play mat or in the bouncer for periods of time, but one that wanted to be held always. I generally don't have many calls to be on and work mostly alone, so it's easy for me to stop and start as needed, but if you work a set schedule or need to be very available for your job, I would probably start daycare sooner rather than later. For sure get in line for daycare to be safe!

morethanamama · June 2020

I wfh full time as a program manager and have been for 4 years. I'd say it depends on the kid and on the job. However, it also depends on YOU. I'll explain

Is it possible to WFH and watch a baby? Is it easy? Usually not. We decided with our first that we wanted to go the nanny route because it was going to be easy with me being home (breastfeeding, occasionally cuddling the baby, etc). We initially plan to start her in December, and have me watch baby and work for the entire month of November...I lasted 2 days! I feel like my baby was not really high need but he needed to be rotated to a different spot every 15 minutes. Also I have calls for my job which make it difficult to plan. I felt like I was not giving my all to either thing! But of course my job is such that you do need to sit at a desk most of the day, make sure you respond to emails quickly, and often be on calls unexpectedly. So that is why it depends on the job.
When I say it depends on you I mean that if you are willing to sacrifice a lot of "baby free" time - which I personally think it healthy, but not everyone sees it this way - then you should be ok. I find it very stressful to do the 2 things and now that my son is 2 whenever the nanny takes a day off I have my H stay home or I take a day because TBH it's too much!

I have a friend who has worked and watched her kid for 18 months to try to save on daycare...she has no free time and it was really really hard for her especially the first few months. I'd say unless you have to, that would not be my first choice. If i worked hourly and made my own hours, it would be more doable.

Regarding daycares/schools one big regret I have is that I did not get my son on a waitlist once he was 6 months. it would have been nice to start him in school around 18 months and a lot of places has waitlists. We thought our nanny was going to leave us at some point and started quickly looking at the schools we liked - all has a waitlist so I'd say get on them as soon as possible. Luckily she did not leave and in light of Covid it was a blessing he was not in daycare/schools, but this was of course an unprecedented situation!

What I personally like about having childcare even with WFH is that I get some time to myself and I can get stuff done around the house too without feeling overwhelmed.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · June 2020

Braxton-Hicks—who’s had them? Is 22w too early for those? I never had them with my first, but I think I did last night. Now I’m lying awake (it’s 3:30 am) in part because my husband is snoring, but also because my lower back is KILLING me!

carrotsandpeas3 · June 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason ✋. I would say it's not too early because I've had a few this last week and I'm only 20 weeks today. Mine are usually brought on by something though (usually exercise) and happen more when I'm dehydrated, so would be weird for me to have them in the middle of the night this early! That did happen to me late in my last pregnancy though. I'm sorry and hope you got some sleep!

babyodo · June 2020

How soon is too soon to begin wearing a maternity support belt? After last week's trip to the ER, I've been experiencing recurring bouts of extreme RLP on my right side at least twice per day, if not more. Last night, it happened as I was preparing my plate for dinner, so I had to go sit down because it nearly knocked me off my feet. I breathed through it, and it passed after about 10-15 minutes, and then I was able to eat dinner. It happened again in the middle of the night last night, too, and thankfully I was able to go back to sleep after about a half hour. I've tried belly bands, but I don't feel like they're giving me much relief. I just feel like 5 months is a bit early to be wearing a support belt, but damn if those shooting pains don't hurt like a b*tch.

kboydbowman · June 2020

@babyodo We must be pain twins, because I also had some round ligament pain last night on my right side that made me stop dead in my tracks and just pant for a minute lol

babycakesday · June 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason I had them pretty early on with DD. Biggest piece of advice that always seemed to help was to drink a lot more water. A few times I had them so consistently and so long that I thought I was really in labor. I went to the doctors and they told me I was dehydrated. Sure enough some fluids and it would go away.

@babyodo Wear it! I’ve been wearing mine since 19 weeks. I’ve had them randomly but I can’t just sit down and wait for them to go away when I’m chasing a toddler.

wineren · June 2020

@babyodo I definitely ordered a new maternity support band as soon as I found out I was pregnant and I started wearing it a couple days ago. I'm plus sized and have a bad back regardless of pregnancy. I started wearing one around 20-22 weeks with DS too.

coldbrew · June 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason I just started noticing a few over the past couple of days. I had a TON from around 25w on with DD2 (but I also had extra amniotic fluid).

morethanamama · June 2020

Has anyone used a Moses basket? I went down a rabbit hole and they are soooooo pretty!! I found a company with beautiful designs and now I'm like, screw the Snuggle Me and Dockatot, I'll just get one of these!

peanutorcookie · June 2020

My SIL recommended one of these: Fisher-Price Sit-Me-Up Floor Seat https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B072LPP6K6/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_.h.3Eb6EYW1Z4

Anyone have opinions? To me (what do I know?) it seems like just another piece of junk that will be obsolete in s couple months. I already have a swing/bouncer and activity mat on my registry.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · June 2020

@peanutorcookie My mom has one that she used with my little guy. It does have a short life span, but if you can find it second-hand or are thinking multiple children and have a place to store it, it might be worth it. Mine HATED lying on the floor, so he used it a lot before he could sit up on his own. But he had the leg strength that he preferred a jumperoo/exersaucer, which we were able to use for a longer period of time, so we never got one of these for our house.

carrotsandpeas3 · June 2020

@peanutorcookie we never had one. We did have an off brand Bumbo style seat to sit in and an activity center. Agreed with @baseballismyfavoriteseason that the activity center was used for longer.

anitamargarita_82 · June 2020

@peanutorcookie I have that chair and a bumbo. Both were worthless as far as I was concerned. I was desperate to find something to help my daughter sit up. If your baby has cubby thighs the bumbo is worthless because they won’t fit. That fisher price chair wasn’t really helpful at helping to sit up. It’s another thing to take up space and feel like you wasted money on it. My daughters jumper bouncer activity thing though.. that was priceless. She’d jump like a crazy lady and loved being up off the ground.

peanutorcookie · June 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason, @carrotsandpeas3, @anitamargarita_82 Thanks ladies! That's exactly what I needed to hear. Appreciate your opinions!!

morethanamama · June 2020

Well, my son LOVED that frog chair starting at 4 months. Short life span for sure but I got it as a hand me down so it was great to have something for baby to sit in every room. We didn't do a jumperoo or a bumbo, I had read something about them not being great for their hips but who knows I was probably concerned over nothing. We had one of those jumping things that you put on doorways and he couldn't care less. that was a waste of $30 on FB marketplace! Hopefully this baby will like it more.

Consignment sales are awesome for this kind of thing but obviously now they are all cancelled at least here in Cali.

wineren · June 2020

@morethanamama I got SO MUCH STUFF from consignment sales for my son. I 100% understand and agree why they're cancelled right now, but I am sad I don't have an easy way to replace the things I've gotten rid of.

We never had a sit me up chair, but we did have a chair/rocker from fisher price that he loved and sat it. Like the image below except we got it for free second hand and it didn't have any toys etc. Luckily we still have that. The middle piece folds out so it can be stable instead of a rocker.

jgrodo · June 2020

We borrowed the frog chair it was actually good when we first started doing solids and when I was in the kitchen I could put him in that chair too. It didn't last very long so I was happy it was a borrow and not a keep item. My guy wasn't super into the junperoo either but I was also nervous about it bc of the I think impact on hips. But that I had gotten from buy nothing. If you arent familiar buy nothing is awesome! It's basically a local gift economy so you used items from your neighbors and then you can gift items too. So the junperoo we used for like 2 weeks(he was only interested in it for like a day) and then passed it on to another person in the group.

jgrodo · June 2020

Any one have kiddos who are a little older and accidentally bite when they are trying to kiss? My LO is def not biting with aggression he's trying to kiss but sometimes nots painful. Any suggestions?

mamahosch · June 2020

What’s your go-to infant laundry detergent? I had two samples of Dreft that I already used up but it’s expensive to buy. I have a lot of secondhand clothes i need to wash up!

MJDsquared · June 2020

@mamahosch I think you can use any "free and clear" detergent. (I think it's Tide that's specifically called 'free and clear' but others have similar names!) I used Dreft for the first year or so because someone purchased it for me from my registry, then MIL bought me another one, but since then I've just used various brands of free and clear (though she's not a baby anymore, lol). I will just stick with what I'm using now for this baby.

mamahosch · June 2020

@MJDsquared okay! I asked this question on my town’s Facebook mom group and they all say All Free and Clear but target is all out except for the pods. But I think I might try Tide Free and Clear since it’s still cheaper than Dreft. We usually buy Gain and it’s priced around the same.

coldbrew · June 2020

We have always used All Free & Clear (any F&C should be fine). Dreft and other “baby” detergents are priced gouged.

carrotsandpeas3 · June 2020

I'm a big fan on the Kirkland (Costco brand) free and clear detergent! It's so cheap. Plus, I kind of hate the smell of dreft.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · June 2020

Okay honestly I am a huge dreft fan. 😁 I looooove the smell and I do subscribe & save through amazon which makes it a bit cheaper. But also, baby clothes are small enough that you can fit more in one load, so I actually find it goes A LOT further—I get two bottles per order and I’m still using the order from almost a year ago. But also I do use tide free & clear more frequently now that my toddler is older. It’s what we use for our clothes and it’s not uncommon for some toddler clothes to wind up in my laundry basket.

carrotsandpeas3 · June 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason that's probably true if you do baby only loads, but I just mix everyone's laundry together and use free and clear for all of us. FFFC--I inherit a lot of baby clothes from my sister and she uses dreft. I rewash all of it because I hate the smell that much. I don't know what it is about it!

baseballismyfavoriteseason · June 2020

@carrotsandpeas3 Yes—if I’m using dreft it’s 100% baby only!

MJDsquared · June 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason I also LOVE the smell. I know it's very polarizing, you either love it or hate it.

I always washed baby clothes separate so used Dreft for those alone. Now I'll sometimes wash mine & DD's clothes together because I wash them in cold. But also when she was itty bitty we had non-free and clear detergent for our clothes so I couldn't mix them.

morethanamama · June 2020

I don't like Dreft:( I'll admit I do separate loads usually. I wash all my DS stuff on delicate. I love the Hello Bello detergent. Not too pricy and I can get it with my diaper bundle.

I'll admit I love their prints and only buy them because of that, also they are cheaper than Pampers pure. HOWEVER , Pampers pure fit my guy a bit better. It's just nice to get the box automatically and not having to think about it.

themoonandme · June 2020

I used normal detergent (we use Persil) for all of my baby clothes every time and they were fine! I know some babes have sensitive skin, but we were fortunate that none of ours did and it was so nice to not have to wash a separate load with separate detergent.

babycakesday · June 2020

@morethanamama I was curious about the hello bello brand detergent. By the time They started the company DD was out of all things baby. Do you like the subscription service? Debating if i should do it for this LO.

morethanamama · June 2020

@babycakesday I do! I researched and the whole thing turns out to be cheaper than buying Pampers Pure and Water Wipes which is what we did for most of DS first months. However I'm almost thinking that for him at this point (2) it might be a wash because we don't use as many wipes and realistically we have a healthy surplus. It is super nice to not having to worry about it and just receive the box!

I am going to order some NB Hello Bello from Walmart and see how I like them, but I'll keep a box of Pampers pure as well in case they don't work.

morethanamama · June 2020

Out of those of you who pumped, whether exclusively or not, has anyone used the Kiinde system? I loved Comotomo bottles for my first and I'm planning to try them with this LO too but I'm really intrigued by the convenience of the Kiinde. I'm just not sure about their nipples and bottle shape being good. It does cut down on a lot of work though especially without the need to transfer milk from bag to bottle.

I won't be pumping as much because I work from home and will hopefully be able to continue breastfeeding while LO is with the nanny but I definitely want to build a healthy stash this time

mammatoomc · June 2020

@morethanamama I used the Kiinde system for my first 5 years ago and will be using it again this time. It was soooo convenient. The bags get pricey so I still used some regular freezer bags for storage but if I was going out I grabbed Kiinde bagged milk to bring. They take up minimal space, you only need to have one of the bottle frames on you and I usually only took one nipple in the carrying case and kept a mini dish soap bottle and brush in the diaper bag to clean it. Pumping into the bags was also amazing compared to pumping into other bags. They are very sturdy. I was an exclusive pumper probably started using them around 3 months and they were life changing.

morethanamama · June 2020

@mammatoomc that is awesome to hear, I was reading some comments on a FB group and 95% were positive so I am going to give it a try!

mamahosch · June 2020

Is it really necessary to make freezer meals before baby comes? I am not a meal prepper, like at ALL, so the thought of it stresses me out to the max.

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