BTDT - Questions for STM's

babyfoxden10 · February 2020

So I’m not planning on using a bassinet and putting baby right into her crib. Everyone looks at me funny when I say that, but my parents did that for all 3 of us no problems. Am I the worst for not having her in my room to start? Did any STM go straight to the crib?

thepretzelchick · February 2020

@babyfoxden10 I didn't but my mom did with us with no issues. You do you, boo. This one will go right to the crib but the crib will be in my room for awhile.

pourmeanothermocktail · February 2020

@babyfoxden10 Definitely not a bad mom. For me, I like them in my room (I love our mini crib that fits in there!) because walking to another room and back makes more noise (other kids in the house), plus wakes me up more. So it's convenience for me. But if convenience for you means having baby in their own space, making it easier to sleep without listening to them grunt, etc, then it's the right choice for you. I hate bassinets, so that's not a route for me.

mamaj1220 · February 2020

@babyfoxden10 we didn't but I think you do what you are comfortable with. DS was in our room until a little after 1 and he and I both slept good being in the same space so we are doing that again this time around. For me it eases my mind that they are close, we put a pack n play in our room and then shift them to the crib in their own room.

m6agua · February 2020

@babyfoxden10 we went straight to the crib, and plan on doing that again with this one. It worked best for us. I’m a super light sleeper and would wake up to every movement or noise if they were in my room.

jhysmath · February 2020

@pirateduck I used cloth pads postpartum. I loved the pink lemonade ones I had and prefer the Minky fabric over the fleece/Charcoal as I feel that measures me sweaty. The Minky is also very stain resistant. I make all of my normal periods cloth pads out of it I used to use them as a back up to my cup before I was certain how to use the cup, but since I had dd and the shopping 7 cycles I had after her I haven't used my cloth again.

With a c-section I feel my bleeding must have been a lot less than others, it was likely like a heavy period the first week and after that it was much less. My periods since having dd have been so much lighter than before her so I thought that was really strange. I used to have to empty my cup 4-5times a day for 3 of the heavy days, but now I empty 2-3 times a day for the most part.

@babyfoxden10 I personally thought I'd have dd in a crib in her own room, but all the getting up to feed her all night long every 2 hours was too exhausting to go all the way across the house. Where we're at currently the bedroom is right next door so I don't know what we'll do, but I have a feeling this one will be right next to the bed again because I'll be exhausted.

mokay19 · February 2020

@babyfoxden10 when I was pregnant with DD, we planned to go straight to the crib and didn’t even buy a bassinet. We had the PnP as a back up if needed and we ended up needing and using that because I needed her closer to me for my recovery and emotions. But totally didn’t plan that and had no problem planning the crib right away! I think whatever works (obviously as long as it’s safe) then do it!

babyfoxden10 · February 2020

Thank you all for making me feel better. The nursery is right next to our bedroom and my husband is such a light sleeper I think we will try going straight to crib for now and stick with our original plan.

chewie5990 · February 2020

@pirateduck I definitely suggest taking as many of the giant underwear pad things as you can from the hospital! Even with my c-section I had very heavy bleeding for at least a week - way heavier than any period, but I was able to snag a bunch of the hospital pad things that are like gigantic rectangles and stretchy soft underwear things to put over them. After I used those - regular pads worked fine but I didn’t bleed for super long. I also have heard great things about freezing pads for some pain relief - but no personal experience with it

catem07 · February 2020

@pirateduck oh yeah, I mean I use a cup for my period, not PP.

sunshinesea22 · February 2020

@babyfoxden10 I’m a FTM and we also plan to put baby straight into the crib in the nursery. I would probably never sleep with baby in our room. Plus we’re bottle feeding so there’s no “shortcut” benefit to having him in with us. I know moms who BF find it’s easier if baby is in the room/bed with them

sunshinesea22 · February 2020

@pirateduck good call on the PP fluid management question. I hadn’t even been thinking about it. I do have easy access to adult diapers from work and I have some super giant incontinence pads stashed in the closet. I’m also a cup user but they say nothing in the vagina for 6 weeks after, so that’s definitely not an option. I like the sound of these cloth pads, in case the depends/disposable pads are uncomfortable. I’ll have to look into them

pirateduck · March 2020

So I noticed Always also makes disposable diapers/panties something along those lines. Any experience thoughts on those vs. Depends brand since we Are on the subject?

babyfoxden10 · March 2020

@sunshinesea22 I’m formula feeding too so I’ll be getting up regardless as well

pourmeanothermocktail · March 2020

pirateduck said:

So I noticed Always also makes disposable diapers/panties something along those lines. Any experience thoughts on those vs. Depends brand since we Are on the subject?

I honestly couldn't tell you if I used actual Depends brand or another disposable underwear. Women's cut, full coverage, and heavy coverage were definitely what I looked for, and then price. I stayed away from the "prettier" options because they just didn't seem absorbent enough.

JStill0603 · March 2020

I feel like the always ones are marketed toward the older more accidentally incontinent generation who might be bothered by a pad whereas the depends are also used more as adult diapers in those who need them. I could be wrong but I feel like the always brand seems to market their product a little differently.

ETA: I saw where the Frieda mom line also added mesh disposable panties and freezer ready pads to their line but I didn’t see any straight up post partum pads. They had wipes and dermoplast type of product as well.

bananapanda · March 2020

On the sleeping arrangement discussion just an FYI that the AAP does recommend room sharing for at least the first 6 months and preferably up to 1 year (See this article). I know this doesn't work for everyone so no judgement here but just throwing out there for those who may not be aware but want to look into that. Of course as I've mentioned before our master is on the main level and the other bedrooms are upstairs so DD1 is almost 2.5 and still sleeps in our room because it just feels too far away. If we had a bedroom right next door I think things might be different.

Re: pads vs depends I had both ready and really ended up just preferring huge pads because they felt more "normal" to me and were easier to take off and replace every bathroom break without taking pants off to put new depends on but it's all personal preference. I definitely liked the mesh undies from the hospital and did purchase the Frida Mom postpartum kit this time just to cover all my bases.

shamrocandroll · March 2020

@pirateduck I just got the Always ones. I had 3rd degree+ tearing, and bled heavily for about a week, then lightly after that. I was leaking out of the heavy duty pads if I didn't change them constantly, especially overnight. So I decided to try the Always this time around. Also, steal a bunch of the mesh underwear from the hospital! And the peri ice packs!

Also, just to make 100% sure everyone is clear on this... You CANNOT use tampons, cups, or discs for postpartum bleeding!!! Nothing up the vajay for at least 6 weeks!

pourmeanothermocktail · March 2020

Also to note-some people entirely loathe the mesh underwear and have no clue why anyone thinks they are awesome. Like me. So it's OK to not like them. Even after my c section I hated them.

And I definitely only did the "Depends" underwear for the first 2-3 days because no pads were wide enough to stop leaks. I think I used less than 10, and then on to my pads.

jhysmath · March 2020

@pourmeanothermocktail I actually washed mine multiple times and reused them because they were the only things that would hold a pad in place and not rub my incision or get stuck in the steri tape.

catem07 · March 2020

FTM recommendation: read Emily Oster's Cribsheet. It has less data than Expecting Better because there aren't as many studies (good or bad), but it's useful information. (It's not that interesting if you're a STM).

m6agua · March 2020

I also didn't really care for the mesh underwear. I did buy the "Depends" brand for postpartum and it worked great! I took a bunch of the large pads from the hospital too.

pourmeanothermocktail · March 2020

jhysmath said:

@pourmeanothermocktail I actually washed mine multiple times and reused them because they were the only things that would hold a pad in place and not rub my incision or get stuck in the steri tape.

To each their own. They sagged and chafed and stuck to my incision and rubbed on it and were just generally itchy (not like an allergy, but just like an uncomfortable fabric weave). And because they sagged on me they didn't really hold pad in place very well, for me. Because in place definitely isn't hanging 2" below my crotch. Ew. I have heard so many wonderful things from so many people, but I was so so so much happier without them.

pirateduck · March 2020

As previously mentioned I received a box of hand me downs from SIL. Two things she put in there that I never would have though to ask for and am so thankful to have are leftover nursing pads and peri ice packs from her most recent pregnancy. There are also some books I need to take a look at.

rox7777 · March 2020

@pirateduck The peri packs are so good! I loved them. I wasn’t a fan of the padsicles some people like to make. I found them annoying and uncomfortable to sit on. The hospital I delivered DS1 actually gave me a frozen newborn diaper which worked better than the pad, but still nowhere near as good as the peri pads.

Also, the bambooies nursing pillows are awesome. They’re soft and you can use them hot or cold. A warm or frozen wash cloth works in a pinch, but I liked being able to shove the nursing pillows in my bra.

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