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October 2020 Moms
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Randoms: Week of 2/16 - 2/22

NME44NME44 member
edited February 2020 in October 2020 Moms
New week, new randoms!
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Re: Randoms: Week of 2/16 - 2/22

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  • NME44NME44 member
    @JLaVO888, my friend was there for me when I was trying for my first and I was a miserable person and she never held it against me. After my first she was struggling to get pregnant and I was SO thrilled for her when she finally told me she was pregnant, which was a big change from me being angry at hearing announcements prior to having my son. I was especially grateful that she was already pregnant when I got my surprise daughter (my son was 10 months old when I found out, too...just FYI, it’s a really fun age gap). Then we both had third babies within a year of each other. She would listen to me if I really needed her to, but I think she’s frustrated with my ability to have another “not really trying” pregnancy when she only ovulates 2 - 4 times a year and it’s totally unpredictable. Which is totally understandable.
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  • JLaVO888JLaVO888 member
    @NME44 I’m a lucky unicorn that’s never had to experience any losses and the longest it ever took me to conceive was 6 months. We started trying for our first around the same time and I got my DD on the first try while she had to wait a whole year. I know that was already hard for her. My heart aches for her and everyone else that has had losses and trouble TTC (my SIL will never get her take home baby and that kills me too). I think I’ve been harboring a lot of guilt about not even trying for this one. 
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  • NME44NME44 member
    @JLaVO888, it isn’t your fault that others struggle, so I really hope that you can let go of that guilt for your own sake. I’m sure your loved ones don’t want you to feel guilty either. Both of my SILs have a history of late loss (they aren’t even related. It was super surreal when it happened the exact same way AGAIN 5 years later). The most recent loss was while I was pregnant with my third. She’s finally having another in May, which means this pregnancy is a secret from half my family until at least that time.
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  • JLaVO888JLaVO888 member
    edited February 2020
    @NME44 we told the family right away like usual. That’s meant telling SIL. She is the absolute most supportive and always so excited for us but I know it hurts her. She’s our DDs godmother and they are in our will as who would care for our children if anything happened to both of us. She struggled with several early losses and CPs and the doctors said she had a “hostile uterus”. We offered to be a surrogate but by the time that discussion was had she found out she was premenopausal with only about three eggs left and she wasn’t sure that route aligned with her faith and beliefs.  I try to share our babies with her as much as possible because I know how much she loves them but ughhh life is not fair sometimes. 
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  • deaddahliahdeaddahliah member
    @NME44 I get not considering yourself a PGAL. I’ve had one loss followed by a successful and usually don’t consider myself one either since it was so early. But the experience does stick with you. I did post in the PGAL thread today because I'm still having a hard time getting past it right now. 

    NBR- I finally got the waterpik my dental hygienist keeps pushing on me. I don’t think it’s possible to use it without giving myself a shower of mouthwater.  :D
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  • morethanamamamorethanamama member
    @NME44 I agree with @deaddahliah, I had a chemical followed by an easy conception and a successful pregnancy and my brain still messes with me...

    I am grateful for this community as well, it's an outlet for those of us who can't share much about this pregnancy. I've told my nanny (because the poor woman put up with so much pregnancy brain this month!), a close friend, and my IL (but only because they were literally pestering us to plan a family trip in December...). Last time, we told people after the genetic testing came back which will be around 10-11 weeks. I don't think I'll do a big FB announcement. One of my best friends is TTGP so I'm trying to be mindful (even though it's her #2 as well and didn't have issues getting pregnant last time) because she just got a negative test. So yeah, not sharing with her anytime soon. Which sucks, but I know it's for the best, she'll probably get pissed about it🤷🏻‍♀️
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  • AB518AB518 member
    When I had my first pregnancy, I told everyone I talk to right away about my pregnancy.  It was mainly because I had to tell work right away to avoid certain occupational exposures, so I thought if I'm telling people at work, I might as well tell my family and friends.  I also thought that I would have more support if something bad did happen.  I think that being AMA is messing with my head a little this time.  I have told my sister because I tell her everything, and I've told five people at work.  I have been telling people only if they need to know.  It is really hard for me not to tell more family and friends that I am pregnant.  I will probably wait until at least my first appointment to tell my parents.  I'll tell the rest of my family and close friends probably sometime after 12 weeks.  I'll never do a social media announcement because I never post anything on social media.

    As others have said before, I appreciate this board because I feel like it is the only place that I can really talk about my pregnancy right now, and I like having a supportive community.

    @NME44  I like the nickname Blast!  Also, I love the name Ben; it is on my list of potential names.  I felt like no longer having a squinter and officially having AF not show up was a major milestone.

    @deaddahliah  I like my waterpik, but it did take awhile to get used to it.  It takes time to develop just the right technique.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • carrotsandpeas3carrotsandpeas3 member
    I agree that it is especially nice to have this community in the first tri when it's hard to talk to anyone else. So far, I told my A18 BMB, my husband, and my sister. Will tell the rest of my family immediate family after first appointment and extended family and friends after 12 weeks. I did post on social media the first time, but I don't know if I will this time. We have some friends who have been TTGP forever and it just feels rude knowing their situation. 
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  • NME44NME44 member
    I’ll have to tell my mom eventually. She lives with me, and she’s actually gonna be pissed that I didn’t tell her immediately. But she’s going out of town later this week for about 10 days so I can at least wait until the labs come back. And my new job is working with recently postpartum women so I don’t have the same exposures at my job I had with previous pregnancies.

    @carrotsandpeas3, I didn’t post my first pregnancy on social media until the very end.
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    Should I do a symptoms thread? Weekly or monthly? 
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  • deaddahliahdeaddahliah member
    @dolewhipper that would probably be good. I think monthly is good way to do it.
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  • AB518AB518 member
    @dolewhipper  I vote for a monthly symptoms thread.
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    @morethanamama you’re the best. 

    Symptoms thread coming up! 

    So I’m trying out these acupressure bands on my wrists for nausea.... nothin yet. Anyone tried them? 
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    GREAT JOB @NME44!!!! You are fine. Today you are pregnant.
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  • psmk521psmk521 member
    @dolewhipper I’m trying them. I think they might help me some. Though it could be in my head; hard to tell
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  • KurtniKurtni member
    @babycakesday I think it’s doable. We didn’t tell most people I was pregnant until 3rd tri with my son. 
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  • mdfarmchickmdfarmchick member
    @dolewhipper good luck. Sea bands didn’t work for me. But they do sometimes. 

    So I usually tell my parents, my siblings, my previous BMB, and a few close friends. But after our loss last time I’m just hesitant right now. I’ve told a friend local to me because I might need her to help watch the kids during an appointment and my bff local guessed. My mom and aunt know because they were worried I had caught a stomach bug last weekend when they were visiting. Nope. Just morning sickness already. I haven’t told anyone else yet. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m just not ready. I will tell people, and should tell the ILs soonish. But right now, I’m just enjoying it privately. 
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  • the6ixgirlthe6ixgirl member
    We've told our parents and my sister, they will be our support group in any situation. We'll tell our friends and my boss after 12 weeks. Won't be doing any pregnancy announcements, but really looking forward to tell my girlfriends as they all have kids now and can be a great Q&A group. 
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  • MJDsquaredMJDsquared member
    We told my mom mother's day weekend when I was 7 weeks with my first (after first US). Told the ILs around 10 weeks (had to fly to see them). This time we told my mom after my first blood test, at 4+6, because she watches DD Thursdays and Fridays while I work from home and there's no way I could hold it in until after the US when I was with her all day. (She knows about our loss and we told her it was early and we were anxious.)

    DH is working on getting his mom to come visit at the end of the month but it's not working so well. His parents also recently divorced so that complicates things vs last time. I was really discouraged TTC #2 after our loss, and I was bombarded with second pregnancy announcements and swore I wouldn't do one, but I think I will since I did with DD.
    Me: 29 || DH: 29
    TTC #1 4/2016 || dx NIR PCOS 7/2016 || BFP 4/2017
    DD - 12/28/17 <3

    TTC #2 3/2019
    BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
    BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
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  • westslopemamawestslopemama member
    With our first we told everyone right away, but it was awful having to let people know about our mc when it happened. With our second pregnancy   we waited until 15 weeks to tell family/friends and I didn’t tell people at work until 17 weeks. This time we will likely wait until we get genetic testing done and let family/friends know after that. I’ll probably tell work then as well. I know it will be hard to wait to tell my in-laws since we see them every week, but I feel more comfortable waiting until after the genetic testing is completed. 

    Trying to convince my husband to stay team green this pregnancy! He wants to find out, but I want to be surprised. I know he will agree to whatever I want, but he’s not excited about waiting. 
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    That's so fun, @JLaVO888! I pray everything goes well for both you ladies. Very boring pregnancies :) 
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  • JLaVO888JLaVO888 member
    @dolewhipper Thank you! Me too.  <3 
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  • tdevlindryetdevlindrye member
    @smg2302 I’ve already switched over to mostly yoga pants. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

    Anyone have magnetic eyelashes they love? I bought some from Target, but they don’t stay on. 😔
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  • cmessamorecmessamore member
    @NME44 I also have a hard time calling me self PGAL, I’ve had two losses and 5 successful pregnancies. Even though my losses were in 2006 and 2010, I still have a hard time with certain feelings. I don’t think you ever fully get over that. 

    I’ve told my other BMBs, a few close friends, and my aunt who I am very close with, that’s it. Having so many kids makes people judgey about our lives. It also means that people don’t really get excited about our babies anymore, which really sucks. We’ll tell our parents relatively soon, but I don’t think we’ll post to social media for quite a while. 
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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    @cmessamore every child should be as celebrated as the first, I'm sorry people are judgey. I love large families and wish my H was on board for more than 2! I'd love 4, maybe even 5. 
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  • babyodobabyodo member
    I love GTKY threads!

    We've only told our families and our best friends (who will be godparents). We made the mistake last time by announcing on social media right away, only to have to go back 5 weeks later and announce our loss. MH has over 5,000 friends on Facebook (he was a professional musician in this area for the past 11 years) so that was hard. We're trying to be smart about it this time around. I am hopeful, though, which didn't stop me from buying some cute newborn pajamas at a consignment shop on Saturday. I even got an adorable orange & white striped set that says "My First Halloween" embroidered on the front, with little jack-o-lantern feet, and "BOO!" embroidered on the bum. I took it as a good sign that I was able to find something so specific to my LO at a consignment shop.
    Me: 37 / DH: 41
    Due with baby #2: Feb 2022


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  • dolewhipperdolewhipper member
    @JLaVO888 post away, girl!
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  • NME44NME44 member
    @cmessamore, idk how many kids you have, but I did end up telling my mom (who lives with me) yesterday, and she acted like it was bad news *eyeroll* 

    So I’m right there with ya.
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  • Smelh324Smelh324 member
    I feel like I've started a slow trickle of telling people. I thought I would wait until 12w to tell most ppl, but that hasn't happened. First I told my sister day 1, then one of my very good friends said she had a secret, she's pregs due in Sept.- seemed silly not to tell her in return. Then I told a couple of my best friends at our Oscars party because I feel too old and lazy to make up stories about why I'm not drinking. Now I honestly can't wait for our 8w appt so I can just tell our friends and families and be done with it. Then everyone will know why I haven't attended things recently and always look tired.

    Am not really looking forward to telling DH's parents. His mom thinks having 2 kids is the only way to live life because that's how many she had. I'm exhausted just thinking about telling her we are having a 3rd.

    Somebody mentioned a McDonalds buttermilk chicken sand earlier. Im not a huge fast food fan, but I think I need this now. 
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  • coldbrewcoldbrew member
    edited February 2020
    We told our parents/siblings and I told my M14 BMB from DD1. I also ended up having to tell my boss and 2 coworkers because we had an exposure at work that required me to speak to the employee health doctor about if I needed treatment due to being pregnant. Thankfully I don’t, but ugh working around sick kids is really stressful when pregnant. 

    ETA: we plant to officially announce when we go to Disney. I’ll be 13 weeks.
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