Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: January Symptoms
im going to check-in with my midwife tomorrow and call occupational health at work too, thank you so much! Truly it means a lot to know I’m not alone - especially from another IP social worker ☺️
**TW**
IF DX January 2016- Me: Right sided hydrosalpinx
Right tube removed: February 2016
Acupuncture + TCM: March 2016
BFP: July 4, 2016 | DS: March 2017 (39w 2d)
TTC #2: April 2019
BFP #2: April 2019 | CP: April 30, 2019 (4w 2d)
BFP #3: July 15, 2019
EDD: March 23, 2020
DS2 10/2017
DS3 due 03/2020
The other day at work I felt faint and my heart rate was way higher than normal. It's the first time it's happened to me but it definitely didn't feel good. My supervisor is going to stop assigning me any new detainees starting the end of this month so they can slowly start reassigning my caseload. Seeing 15 kids a day is really not working for me anymore.
@kailanae I've had starry vision and tingling in my limbs too. It doesn't happen super often, but I've chalked it up to my blood pressure being a little on the low side during this pregnancy, and the increased blood volume that comes along with pregnancy. I'd only worry about the starry vision if it's accompanied by high BP, lots of swelling, etc. as those things together can be signs of preeclampsia.
*Formerly LuND*
Me: 35 | DH: 37
TTC: 7/2016
Low AMH, mild MFI
BFP 7/29/17
EDD: 4/5/18
BFP #2 7/2/19
EDD 3/13/20
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
@miss.sally I also feel like a rotisserie chicken! Ha! Great analogy, especially with the hot flashes I'm experiencing.
Married: 10.15.16
DS BD: 8.20.17
TTC #2 1.1.19
BFP #2 7.3.19
EDD #2 3.13.20
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
**TW**
IF DX January 2016- Me: Right sided hydrosalpinx
Right tube removed: February 2016
Acupuncture + TCM: March 2016
BFP: July 4, 2016 | DS: March 2017 (39w 2d)
TTC #2: April 2019
BFP #2: April 2019 | CP: April 30, 2019 (4w 2d)
BFP #3: July 15, 2019
EDD: March 23, 2020
but yeah, I toss and turn all night and can’t stay comfortable.
This week we went to a breastfeeding class and part 1 of a childbirth class, and I found myself just so freaking annoyed at how one sided they were and missing so much important info that I was hoping to hear. And then the narrator in the birth video says “Baby is finally in her arms after so and so number of hours in l&d, and she’s so happy and in love with her baby!”....like why are you saying that? Some mother don’t bond with their child right away, and some def don’t feel elated right after l&d. I’m a FTM so I have no experience but I’m in the mental health field so have training on NORMAL reactions, so I think it’s important people don’t see this kind of stuff in a class and expect to have the same experience and then think there’s something wrong with them if they don’t feel the same! Ugh...sorry RANT OVER lol
**TW**
IF DX January 2016- Me: Right sided hydrosalpinx
Right tube removed: February 2016
Acupuncture + TCM: March 2016
BFP: July 4, 2016 | DS: March 2017 (39w 2d)
TTC #2: April 2019
BFP #2: April 2019 | CP: April 30, 2019 (4w 2d)
BFP #3: July 15, 2019
EDD: March 23, 2020
I have a mixture of thick and clear and watery discharge, and have for months. It's like, a spot of thick in the middle of clear watery. I have to wear panty liners or my underwear is pretty much soaked. For a hot second I freaked out that my amniotic fluid was leaking, but I'm measuring on track and this has literally been happening for months, but if you're worried I'd check with your doctor.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Anyone noticing baby hiccups regularly? This girl hiccups ALL. THE. TIME. Usually it happens after I eat or drink something but last night I woke up twice and she was hiccuping. What the heck! Not only do I have back and hip pain to keep me up all night, but throw in some baby hiccups now too. 😞
**TW**
IF DX January 2016- Me: Right sided hydrosalpinx
Right tube removed: February 2016
Acupuncture + TCM: March 2016
BFP: July 4, 2016 | DS: March 2017 (39w 2d)
TTC #2: April 2019
BFP #2: April 2019 | CP: April 30, 2019 (4w 2d)
BFP #3: July 15, 2019
EDD: March 23, 2020