ErikandAfton That's so awful!! This has actually been one of my biggest fears about becoming a parent. I have no idea what that kid's home situation is, but I do worry that you can be the best parent and still having a terrible human being for a child... and there's little you can do to fix it.
I'm doing okay. I feel supported by my admin 100% but am just scared of this kid at this point. There is talk of trying to have him back in my class and trying to teach him skills to help him be a better, more productive student but I'm almost certain it wont work. I told my AP that I'd do what they decide is best but I'm not comfortable with him at this point. There's about a million other layers to it but the comments Tuesday were the icing on the cake. Admin is meeting with Mom Tuesday to come up with a plan. We are hoping she will allow a modified schedule and that he can do indpenent study for my class. I think the hardest part is feeling like I've failed him.
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@ErikandAfton I'm glad you feel supported. I wouldn't want the kid back.
You didn't fail this kid. It sounds like he needs a lot of therapy, or has had a really rough life up until now, or anti-baby family, or even is metro-diverse in some way that has no idea of offensive that comment was. But none of that is under your control. And the cause doesn't matter, I doubt you could personally do anything. I wish the best of help for him, but also support and distance for you.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@ErikandAfton I always remind myself that sometimes, especially in teaching, you’re just not the right person to crack their shell. You can do everything possible for them in your room and be there 100% of the time, but you just may not be what they need at that moment. But the teacher down the hall who is doing their best with them too, might be it. I always want to be “the one” that helps but I try to remember that, just like you don’t click with every adult, you can’t click with every kid. Don’t beat yourself up and put baby first here. I think I’d feel the same way.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
@ErikandAfton I'm so sorry that you're in this position and that anyone, child or otherwise, said such horrible things to you. I'm glad you feel supported, and I hope your administration will work quickly and decisively to resolve any further conflict.
I'm waiting for my doctor to release my NIPS results (very impatiently) but I know nothing will happen until tomorrow mid-day at soonest. The last bit of waiting for anything is always the worst.
HELLOOOOO 2nd trimester Hopefully this exhaustion disappears soon. I am literally counting the weeks until I get to find out the gender and secretly hoping during one of my MFM visits I can get a peak.
DD had her nursery school Christmas play today and I was expecting chaos from a bunch of 3-4year olds but they did such a great job! It was adorable. DD played the Christmas tree aha and had her own song. Also found out she’s been learning french every Friday- had no idea ahaha
I'm taking my 1hr glucose test today and I'm grumpy grumpy grumpy about having to test in first trimester. I don't feel optimistic about passing and I'm not emotionally ready for 28+ weeks of tightly managed nutritional "therapy"... womp womp.
I'm going to tell my boss today. I have a really good relationship with her, but I'm really nervous. I think because it will be a huge surprise...she knew I wasn't planning on having more kids, I'm second in command and she's going on a huge trip in August - when I'll be on leave. I feel sick!
@JessiBride hugs!! I hope it goes well. Let us know! I’m telling my boss tomorrow and am so so nervous as well. I’ve only been in this role for 4.5 months and we have long maternity leaves here so it’s going to be a bit tough for the team
@hayhay2501 - It went well!! She gasped, I cried, she cried and then we went into planning action. I live far from work so she's going to do what she can to get me 100% remote for post baby!! My husband is a SAHD that homeschools our kids, so I've really been stressing doing this drive with a little one.
My son is in preschool, it's inside the local grade school, so we have spirit wear, fundraising, picture day, 5 day a week schedule and rides a full school bus.
But he also has 3 teachers, 2 bus drivers, and 2 bus Aides. My total budget is like $20-$25 for all of them. I could go to Goodwill, find new condition mugs or cups, include hot chocolate mix, tea bag, and candy cane/bar. Or just baggie with cute ribbon of candy/mix/tea, or small bag of homemade cookies, or just a thank you/Christmas card, but with nothing.
Do any teachers really want more candy, mugs, etc? I just figure that's what everyone always does, so if I can't before like a decent gift card or something, is it more polite to just skip material things?
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail Not a teacher, but I work in a preschool. I feel like a heartfelt card means more than the typical Christmas gifts. To have families thank me for working with their children means the most.
@alli392 - I'm a project manager. So much of my work is e-mail, organizing and monitoring. I can easily do it from home and do work remotely when weather requires it and from time to time just because the drive (65 miles each way) is prohibitive. WFH is what I was dreaming of, but wasn't sure she'd offer.
Wow what a relief! @JessiBride I hope she can work it out to where you can work from home. Also, as a SAHM/homeschooler I love that your husband has taken on that role! I find it so neat to see how other homeschool families work it out.
@pourmeanothermocktail I agree with @kerco925. Im not currently working in a school but I taught for the last decade. A heartfelt thank you meant a lot more to me than the material things. Especially when it was from parent & child ❤️
@JessiBride so glad it went well! I feel terrible about going on leave as well. There's just a lot to do and no one else to do it. This is my last baby though so it is what it is.
@pourmeanothermocktail also going to throw in there homemade cookies...really can’t go wrong. Especially if you let him help make them so he can be really proud upon delivery. Teachers get so many mugs that they’re really not necessary.
@JessiBride that’s awesome! My husband is also a project manager but he doesn’t have your drive. I hope it all work out!
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
I read a meme or a quote once...not sure which...about how if something happened to you, your job would hire someone new.
I know it's easy to feel like you're the best at what you do (and of course you are because it's YOUR position) but the reality is we are all "replaceable" so please, give yourself some grace and don't feel guilty for being there for your family, because THAT role is NOT replaceable.
It took me a long time to realize this and feel this way, but I have had to be out of work for an extended amount of time 3 times, 2 due to maternity and 1 because my son was gravely ill, and while it may have been a lot of work when I got back, ultimately they did and had to survive while I wasn't there.
Thank you all! This was kind of the final hurdle to just enjoying the pregnancy. I have been so stressed out about if I was going back, if my husband and I needed to switch out working/SAH duties and if we did, when we would do that because it impacts insurance. I could not be gone 14 hours a day with a 4 month old. Now it looks like I don't have to.
@diagonalley this is so true. I remember being so nervous and feeling like I was letting my company down before I quit for my current company. My uncle told me- “if they were going out of business, they wouldn’t think of no but hayhay2501 won’t have a job!” It’s so true. You have to look after yourself!
It went well with my boss. She was very supportive though I still feel a bit nervous about the whole leave process (my return to work sucked last time as I had to find a new role in my company). It turns out she’s just started trying for her second so will probably go off while I’m on leave
@diagonalley that was really good to hear. I work at a small private school where I’m a pretty big leader. But the pay in private school teaching is terrible. I’d make only 200-300 dollars a month after daycare and we’d bump up a tax bracket. But I love teaching. I really truly do. I’m so torn as to whether to go back or not. Is the stress and being away from my kids worth going back? I’m just so nervous about the SAHM life as I’m a major extrovert and like to be “busy.” It’s so stressful. Our home daycare provider doesn’t know I’m pregnant yet because I don’t know what to tell her about the fall.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
@alli392 my situation is different now but with both of my boys I went back to work after 6-8 weeks leave. I worked at a charter school and didn’t make much either. My DH worked in education as well (and coached) so long hours and not great pay. We didn’t make much more after daycare (especially with 2 kids) but I had to work at that point. We have changed our situation and I’m now home so this will be my first baby that I’ll stay with and I’m relieved. I felt lots of different feelings with each transition but I’ve also changed and had more of the desire to be with my kids over the years. Even though with my first I was relieved to go back to work (despite it being very hard). I think you got to do what feels right to you! I’m not an extrovert but I liked being around adults and having my “own thing”. I miss that now but there are lots of other SAHM I’ve befriended so that helps.
I have half a mind to go on maternity leave and find another job after. I love my job dont get me wrong but I work 10 hr days sometimes more and its hard. I rush into work because daycare opens at 630 and I have to be at work by 7 am I rush to pick her up and be able to go home to cook and care for her. I am ALWAYS on go. Then there is always some kind of stupid drama because the employees don't listen. I tell them to go to the boss with dates and then come to me once they have already booked flights and such with approved leave. They constantly wait until last minute and do NOT ask for leave and I am stuck scrambling to find temps.
I feel horrible leaving him this way but I am getting soooo tired of this! I also man the fort alone therefore I dont have extra time to handle things last minute.
We had a team offsite today and my boss ordered food from her friend who’s started an Indian catering company. There are 10 of us but she ordered enough for like 30 people ha. The food was AMAZING! So different from the usual Indian food you can get here. So glad I’m craving savouries this pregnancy ha.
Everything is on my fricken nerves today. My desk mate usually drives me nuts (it'll be a miracle if we both survive this pregnancy). She has the sound up on her computer SUPER loud so I get to hear every email, program, and Skype notification. At one point she even said "oops that's loud" but then made zero effort to turn it down. Also, I was on the what to expect app in the community tab and what is it with people using the woman symbol randomly I'm their posts? It's like a period or end of paragraph thing and for some reason it really bugs me because I don't get it. HUMPH.
Pregnancy so far has just been alerting me and my doctor to all of the things wrong with me body 😅 Turns out my latest bloodwork showed I have a high number of thyroid antibodies, which was unexpected, and now I’m being referred to an internal medicine specialist but my doctor wouldn’t tell me more than that. So that’s fun!
@bbluemoo that’s how they caught my lupus with my first pregnancy! My platelet counts were low, sent me to a hematologist to run more tests, hematologist didn’t find anything but my antibodies flagged an immunologist who took my case. Honestly it was some of the scariest weeks of my life bouncing between them but now my meds are working this pregnancy and my platelets look great!
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
@JessiBride It is frustrating and I honestly dont think I can continue post baby. It is just too much. I also want to get back to school in the fall, I want to pursue nursing and have all my pre-reqs except for 1 class. If I stay I am positive I wont be able to balance it all.
@alli392 I’m glad your meds are working this pregnancy! I’m trying not to stress out too much about what this could mean, because I could be waiting a long time to get into the specialist.
@bbluemoo can you call the office and ask for cancellation appointments? Or a fellows clinic? That’s gotten me in faster when I’ve needed an appointment right away. Usually when you’re pregnant they want to get you in ASAP but it might take a little pressure from you to get them to take it seriously and soft your paperwork out of the pile. That and I nagged the nurses at my OB til they made the referral and set it up for me!
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
Being sick while pregnant should be illegal!! DS for sent home from pre-k yesterday for fever. I went to work today and had to leave early because of fever, a cough, and I feel like I've been hit by a truck! Praying this passes quickly and isn't the flu.
@alli392 My doctor just told me that she’d refer me to a specific internal medicine specialist that has a special interest in “pregnant women with medical conditions” so I don’t even know who I’d call. I’m hoping they call before the holidays but, if not, I have my next regular appt Jan 7 so I’ll follow up then.
@lynkat thank you. We went yesterday and it is the flu...we both feel a little better today though. He acts totally fine, I still have a pounding headache when the tylenol wears off and am very weak and dizzy if I get up for too long, but yeah for no more fever!!
Re: December Randoms
I'm doing okay. I feel supported by my admin 100% but am just scared of this kid at this point. There is talk of trying to have him back in my class and trying to teach him skills to help him be a better, more productive student but I'm almost certain it wont work. I told my AP that I'd do what they decide is best but I'm not comfortable with him at this point. There's about a million other layers to it but the comments Tuesday were the icing on the cake. Admin is meeting with Mom Tuesday to come up with a plan. We are hoping she will allow a modified schedule and that he can do indpenent study for my class. I think the hardest part is feeling like I've failed him.
You didn't fail this kid. It sounds like he needs a lot of therapy, or has had a really rough life up until now, or anti-baby family, or even is metro-diverse in some way that has no idea of offensive that comment was. But none of that is under your control. And the cause doesn't matter, I doubt you could personally do anything. I wish the best of help for him, but also support and distance for you.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
I'm waiting for my doctor to release my NIPS results (very impatiently) but I know nothing will happen until tomorrow mid-day at soonest. The last bit of waiting for anything is always the worst.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
My son is in preschool, it's inside the local grade school, so we have spirit wear, fundraising, picture day, 5 day a week schedule and rides a full school bus.
But he also has 3 teachers, 2 bus drivers, and 2 bus Aides. My total budget is like $20-$25 for all of them. I could go to Goodwill, find new condition mugs or cups, include hot chocolate mix, tea bag, and candy cane/bar. Or just baggie with cute ribbon of candy/mix/tea, or small bag of homemade cookies, or just a thank you/Christmas card, but with nothing.
Do any teachers really want more candy, mugs, etc? I just figure that's what everyone always does, so if I can't before like a decent gift card or something, is it more polite to just skip material things?
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail I agree with @kerco925. Im not currently working in a school but I taught for the last decade. A heartfelt thank you meant a lot more to me than the material things. Especially when it was from parent & child ❤️
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
I read a meme or a quote once...not sure which...about how if something happened to you, your job would hire someone new.
I know it's easy to feel like you're the best at what you do (and of course you are because it's YOUR position) but the reality is we are all "replaceable" so please, give yourself some grace and don't feel guilty for being there for your family, because THAT role is NOT replaceable.
It took me a long time to realize this and feel this way, but I have had to be out of work for an extended amount of time 3 times, 2 due to maternity and 1 because my son was gravely ill, and while it may have been a lot of work when I got back, ultimately they did and had to survive while I wasn't there.
@diagonalley this is so true. I remember being so nervous and feeling like I was letting my company down before I quit for my current company. My uncle told me- “if they were going out of business, they wouldn’t think of no but hayhay2501 won’t have a job!” It’s so true. You have to look after yourself!
It went well with my boss. She was very supportive though I still feel a bit nervous about the whole leave process (my return to work sucked last time as I had to find a new role in my company). It turns out she’s just started trying for her second so will probably go off while I’m on leave
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
I feel horrible leaving him this way but I am getting soooo tired of this! I also man the fort alone therefore I dont have extra time to handle things last minute.
Also, I was on the what to expect app in the community tab and what is it with people using the woman symbol randomly I'm their posts? It's like a period or end of paragraph thing and for some reason it really bugs me because I don't get it.
HUMPH.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20