January 2020 Moms

Weekly Check-in All Groups w/o 11/11

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Re: Weekly Check-in All Groups w/o 11/11

  • @FyreFlyeRush might be worth a shot! Thanks! Up until now my Dr office has been trying to handle it but not having much luck. They are so nice and don’t want me to have to do it...but they are too nice to get results from military healthcare providers I think 
  • @kbrown2385 I've had an uptick in BH too!  I should get on the freezer meal train, that's such a great idea!
    @leprechaunlady Lazy day watching Netflix sounds great!  Glad you were able to have some relaxation!
    @stashattack I've had to resort to daily medicine for heartburn.  I hope the tums work for you!
    @marebear15 Sounds comfy!  When we upgrade to a new bed I'm totally getting a king.  I need more space!


     EDD/Weeks + days:  Jan 24th, 29+5

    Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green:  Green

    Baby is the size of a(n): Almost a cabbage

    Upcoming appointments:  I have my weekly NST and appointment with my OB on Friday

    How are you feeling?  Eh, Ok.  I could be worse but just getting to the uncomfortable stage.

    Raves/Rants?  What a flipping week.  Monday baby was all over and because of that I think was causing me some middle lower abdominal/pelvis pain.  But not pain that wasn't tolerable.  I woke Tuesday and things didn't feel right.  Baby wasn't moving.  I went through the day and I would feel a couple tiny movements but it wasn't the normal movement at all.  So I called the doctor and they had me come in and do an NST.  As soon as I hopped on that table baby was all over.  Like kid I waited all day, drank my max caffeine, ate all the carbs, had some candy from my kids Halloween stash and laid on my side baby doesn't like.  So I felt like an idiot because baby was fine when I got there but owell I suppose.  Better safe than sorry.  Then once the kids got into bed I had the worst lower middle abdominal/pelvic pain.  It probably lasted 2 or 3 minutes but it felt like forever. In those few minutes I swear I was going to the hospital again because I've never felt that before it it was extremely painful.  Thankfully it went away and I haven't had it since but I have no clue what it was.  I'm going to bring it up on Friday but I'm sure it will get passed as normal pregnancy pain.

    GTKY: Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest?  Smell.  Half the time my husband thinks I'm nuts.

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  • @mispanda That is certainly an eventful week!  It is so hard to distinguish between what is normal and what's not.  It's also hard because everywhere you read it says, "do kick counts" and make sure that it is happening regularly.
    That pain sounds really intense though!  I am glad it went away. Could it be bh?  I've actually never had bh even in this second pregnancy so I am not at all an expert. 

  • @ponyoisfun I will be trying to work until winter break. For the last few weeks i've been working a LTO. Next week I am back to substituting day by day. Really, I could stop whenever, so we shall see what the future holds. How about you?
  • ponyoisfunponyoisfun member
    edited November 2019
    @alicia__e I am working until winter break as well, which is the 19th.  I have unpaid leave though, so I am not sure if I should try to work until I go into labor in January or just have a clean stop date.  Plus, I will have to pay $1000 or so per month in insurance premiums once my leave starts because my employer will stop contributions. I am really not sure what to do. We are going to talk to someone else about the insurance issue because it just seems so crazy to have to pay that much without any income. 

    Political rant below:
    Btw, for anyone else not in the U.S. (and this is not to brag, but to show you how messed up our system is)  I hold the highest level of teaching credentials, two licenses, and a masters degree.  On my salary, we STILL qualify for some government assistance, but we just over the line to qualify for more/enough to have both parties work without one of us using our entire salary for childcare. 

    Unsurprisingly,  I live in one of the poorest states and the worst for child welfare.  

    Edited to add:  Please, no one read this as me whining or that I shouldn't of had kids if we couldn't afford it. I am just telling my story because I think it exemplifies what is wrong with our health care system in the U.S. My last leave was different, but my school changed their policy re: insurance, which I had no control over.

  • @ponyoisfun I absolutely cannot comprehend your system at all! As broken & on its knees as our healthcare system is, I am so grateful for it! 
  • @ponyoisfun, I'm right there with you. Since I don't have FMLA, and the status of our contract is still up in the air AND Congress is like Budget? What budget? Budgets and Impeachment are FAKE NEWS!!!! HOAX!!! WITCH HUNT!!!!, I have no idea what my employment status will be come Jan 1, or if I'm going to end up taking LWOP because Cheeto with a short temper sent a Tweet. 
  • @ponyoisfun I thought FMLA requires employers to continue their portion of insurance premiums. That's what is happening here. I certainly couldn't afford LWOP and my insurance....
  • @biolprof, All FMLA does is guarantee you have a job when you come back from maternity leave, and ONLY if certain criteria are met: you have to have worked at least 6 months, of the last 12 months, for that company, AND you have to have 12 months tenure, AND the company has to have at least 50 employees within a 75mi radius. All that and you get *ding ding ding* TWELVE WEEKS OF UNPAID LEAVE!

    The company is not allowed to terminate your coverage, but I believe you still have to pay your portion of the premium, which, considering you've just lost your income, sucks. 
  • @FyreFlyeRush I guess I'm lucky that even though I don't get paid leave they will pay my premiums. I shouldn't have to be thankful for that....
  • @biolprof, IKR? At some point people should really think about what happens if women stop having babies. I mean...it might have a teensy impact on our species....
  • @biolprof ah, I hadn't been keeping up with the nursery thread so I hadn't seen it until now.  It turned out super-cute!

    @ponyoisfun I hear you completely on what a mess US maternity leave policy is!  For what it's worth, I worked up until I delivered DD (I actually went into labor at work on a Friday) and I'm planning to do the same with this LO.  I had some paid leave, but not much, so I wanted to use as much as I could at home with the baby.  As biolprof said, I thought that FMLA-qualified employers had to continue with their portion of the insurance contributions during the 12 week (unpaid) leave, although the employee would still pay their portion of the premium while on leave (unless the company decides to handle it differently).  I know that my insurance contributions will be put on hold while I'm on leave, but then I'll get hit by a "big bill" once I'm back that will cover the months of premium I missed paying.
  • If I go to a "no-pay" status, aka use up all of my leave while on FMLA, with my university, I have to pay my premiums out of pocket. So that's why I've worked it out that I'm going to use all 4 weeks that I have built up of my leave and then have 2 weeks of full time telework so I don't go into that no-pay status. There's no way in hell I could afford both no-pay and insurance. Our system is super broken.

    And the fucked up thing is, my husband works for a children's hospital. Their Maternity Leave policy is no better than ours. You would think a children's focused campus would have better Maternity Leave policies...
    PG #1: 36w5d 12/25/19
    PG #2: EDD 8/15/23 Miscarried 9w1d 1/11/23
    PG #3: EDD 12/15/23
  • Im sorry this is something you ladies even have to think about! Having a baby is a stressful enough time without adding those worries to the list! 😔
  • @cats_in_a_window That's a bummer that when you return they will hit you with the premiums that you have been missing!  

    @biolprof Maybe this insurance thing is something that varies state by state.  It seems that my state has no protections whatsoever for working parents.  

    @FyreFlyeRush I do hate how they act like they are doing you a huge favor.  It is not my bosses specifically who do this, but as compared to other workers, say in the restaurant industry or any other less regulated one, I am treated as if I should just be grateful that I will have my job back.  Mind you, we have a HUGE teacher shortage here in the state (could the poor treatment of public employees be related? - seems like they haven't considered that...).

    @stashattack That is the worst when jobs that specifically have to address the symptoms of not offering benefits don't offer benefits themselves. 

    Anyways, all of this adds up to the fact that outside of my actual work I send a lot of time working and advocating at the legislature with a nonprofit for working families and changing education in our state.  I want our state to be better not just for my child but every child. 



  • FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member
    edited November 2019
    @ponyoisfun, there's a huge teacher shortage in Texas, too. I want to say maybe if you didn't spend BILLIONS on new football stadiums, and invested some of that in teacher pay and benefits, MAYBE...more people would BECOME teachers. But, Friday Night Lights *WAS* based on Texas High School football for a reason, soooooooooooo
  • @ponyoisfun I keep forgetting not everyone is from Canada. I'm very very lucky and unfortunately I forget that too often. It seems like insurance, teacher's rate of pay and leave make it near impossible for people in your situation to contemplate a family/make people feel guilty. That's just not right or fair. I'm sorry :(
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