FFFC 11/8

ruby696 · November 2019

*Not guaranteed to be flame free!

splashmountain · November 2019

H and I have been doing a guessing game of what fruit the bump says our baby is as big as every week. He got it right last week (plum) and I was determined to beat him this week. I cheated and looked ahead. "I'm guessing lemon this week!" I'm not sure why I cheated and I'm not proud of it

ruby696 · November 2019

@splashmountain 😂😂😂 I love that you have guilt about it! You'll probably feel better if he wins next week.

splashmountain · November 2019

@ruby696 lol I probably will feel better if he wins next week. It's not like we're even betting anything, just a friendly guessing game. Is random competitiveness a pregnancy symptom?

ruby696 · November 2019

@splashmountain Never heard of that one... lol. Maybe just confess so you feel better. 😆

rox7777 · November 2019

We’re going to my husbands coworkers gender reveal tomorrow. Not gonna lie, I think it’s weird to have a party to celebrate your baby’s genitals. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I get that people don’t really put it that way, but that’s how my logical brain works.

splashmountain · November 2019

@rox7777 I hate gender reveals. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm not a fan of attending parties in general, but gender reveals just suck.

catem07 · November 2019

I'm also not into SEX reveals. Particularly those that really lean into gender roles: trucks v tutus, etc. Pink and blue are fine, but don't go ascribing likes and dislikes to a fetus.

I know people just want to have stuff to celebrate, and maybe STP+ feel like this is more acceptable than a shower, but I'd rather go to a second or third shower than a sex reveal party.

mamaclownface · November 2019

@splashmountain MH and I read the update together every Sunday. I always cheat by looking ahead on Friday or Saturday, but I always act surprised when we read it together on Sunday haha

rox7777 · November 2019

@catem07 Ohhh the sex/gender debate is also one of those that drives me bonkers. We’re discussing the sex, but somehow it’s turned into this sh*t show of gender conformity. I’m totally not on board, but I know it’s the popular thing to do.

I’m a TTM and I don’t plan on doing a shower/sprinkle/reveal or anything else. MIL insisted on a shower last time and it was a total nightmare and excuse for her to invite her friends I didn’t know and drink. I got one box of wipes. From the entire shower...

MH and I are doing an elective US with the boys to find out the sex and help them visualize the baby since they’re only 6 and 4. That’s our celebration.

ruby696 · November 2019

@rox7777 I feel the same about second, third, etc. showers and sprinkles. We're doing cupcakes for our kids as our "sex reveal." No one else. And no showers. If people really want to celebrate, let's do brunch and catch up. Shower games and gifts are not necessary.

ruby696 · November 2019

AFM - I've been eating kettle chips in secret so my kids don't see me. I hide the bag behind the coffeepot and hang out alone in the kitchen. Not because I care if they eat chips. I hide so I don't have to share.

Eta: spelling

jhysmath · November 2019

I find sex reveal parties to be another attempt at trying to get presents. My cousin had one this summer she's due next month with her second, and she really shouldn't have even had a first, but I think she liked how people got her tons of presents for the baby and her (first new cousin in 10 years). I personally hated having showers but understand everyone else wants to celebrate. My cousin who had a baby after me is much more like me and we both dread parties and holidays where people give us so much stuff that we don't want or need.

@ruby696 Definitely a pro at hiding eating things because I don't want to share. Started when I was a nanny, more so because they weren't allowed to eat the things I was eating though. I currently have my stash of halloween candy my mom sent me in the freezer so she can't see it when I get some. I had it on the counter and she'd throw a fit when I wouldn't share.

AFM: I have a bunch of grading to do, but TB is more entertaining during my prep so I'm getting so far behind.

Austenista · November 2019

I’m not bothered by what other people like to do in this sense. Having a baby is hard work for a lot of folks and celebrating is fine by me. If you want to have a party to reveal if your baby is a boy or girl, I’m fine with it. I think it’s fun. I did one with DS1 but didn’t for DS2 and won’t with this one just because I don’t really want to. I’m still okay with ten of them if that’s what someone else wants though. I also don’t mind about showers and sprinkles. Knock yourself out. I don’t have to come and FFFC is that I’m just not that social so I probably won’t. But I’ll get you a gift.

My FFFC/UO is that I hate thank you notes. I think they’re a waste of energy and paper. I don’t want a ty note and I don’t want to write them.

mamaclownface · November 2019

My FFFC can also count as an UO. I MUCH prefer boxed mac and cheese to home-made baked mac and cheese. Give me all the fake cheesy goodness. No matter how many different recipes I've tried, baked mac and cheese just tastes so plain to me.

ruby696 · November 2019

Noooooo @kylelee23! I'm starting to think we can't even talk to each other. At the very least, we'll probably never eat together! 😆

jhysmath · November 2019

@Austenista YES to the thank you notes!!! I hate them. I said thank you to you in person you don't need a waste of paper thanking you again. I wrote them for our wedding and when we had DD 9 months later no one got a thank you note for the baby showers. My MIL tried passive aggressively telling us I needed to do them but I just ignored her. ( She showed me "thank you cards" that the triplets at her church made for her when she bought them birthday presents and then went on to say at least they have manners and gave us thank you cards most of our family doesn't do that.)

m6agua · November 2019

@Austenista I don't mind writing Thank You Cards/Notes, however whenever I receive them, or cards for that matter, they go right in the recycling. So I guess I do think it is unnecessary and a waste of paper to have it be a standard/tradition/expectation for everything.

catem07 · November 2019

@Austenista Thank you notes should 100% be waived for baby shower gifts. I think they are necessary for wedding gifts. For gifts in general, if you gave the gift in person I agree that a thank you is redundant. If it was mailed, you have to let the giver know somehow that you got it--but a text or email would suffice.

ruby696 · November 2019

@jhysmath Major eye roll to your MIL. I hope she writed you guys thank you cards every time you give her a gift.

newmomtx06 · November 2019

I am in complete agreement with dislike for sex reveal parties. I always thought it was a weird thing to have a party for. With DD, my husband and I asked for a slip of paper revealing the gender and we opened it up Later at home together. I like the idea of finding out in the privacy of your own home rather than the doctors office. I am pretty antisocial and hate attention though.

I think thank you notes are necessary for big events like weddings but that’s about it. We never wrote thank you notes for the baby shower, I think that’s a lot to ask of someone who is about to have a baby. DH Comes from a very traditional southern family so he writes thank you notes for everything. It drives me nuts.

bender29 · November 2019

@kylelee23 yessssss! Boxed Mac and Cheese is the ONLY way to go!

pirateduck · November 2019

When I'm driving and someone passes me illegally I chant "die, die, die" until they get all the way around me. My drive over an icy mountain pass daily is dangerous enough without you driving recklessly thank you very much.

m6agua · November 2019

I've said this FFFC on the TTGP board, but I haven't said it here yet.

I use the garbage can in the bathroom stalls at work like a squatty potty. I'm short, some toilets are tall, I have had constipation issues since my last pregnancy so what the heck. It helps me go and when I need to go, I cannot hold it until I am home or that would cause more problems.

catem07 · November 2019

Ok someone wanted something flameworthy. TTGP is way over the top with the rules. It was bad when I was TTC in July 2017 but this time around when I thought I might participate there I said screw it after seeing all the new ones.

ruby696 · November 2019

@pirateduck When people cut me off, I picture a meteor landing on them or a wrecking ball knocking them out of my way. I guess I'm just a bad person.

pirateduck · November 2019

@ruby696 I envision them driving right over the edge before they make it around me. And you know the angry glare death look, I wish sometimes I really could shoot laser beams out of my eyes and zap people when I give them that look.

ruby696 · November 2019

@pirateduck Yes! I also like to visualize myself telling off people who drive too slow. I would NEVER actually confront someone over driving. But I like to imagine I would. MH is in law enforcement and I always tell him to give tickets to slow people. He rolls his eyes at me.

pirateduck · November 2019

@ruby696 once I was the passenger in the car and my friend driving stopped in the middle of the road blocking the road and got out of the vehicle to confront the guy in the car behind us!

catem07 · November 2019

Oh another one, not TB related. I buy into the screen time hype and my 2.5 year old daughter watches 0 television, 0 movies, 0 youtube, and gets no tablet/phone screen time aside from facetiming and the rare occasion when we're traveling by train or air.

ruby696 · November 2019

@pirateduck I would die. That's how people get shot!

@catem07 Our kids are allowed to watch movies sometimes, but I'm pretty anal about screen time too. They don't get to use tablets or our phones. Ever. We tell them they need to use their imaginations if they can't find something to do. Or they can clean something. 😆

rox7777 · November 2019

This one might be extra bad: I saw the fur baby Friday post and all I can think about is how I have a major aversion to all three of my animals right now. They gross me out for some reason. This was never an issue with DS1 or DS2, but this pregnancy I don’t want them anywhere near me.

pirateduck · November 2019

@rox7777 I can handle them sometimes, at a distance, but their breath!!!!

catem07 · November 2019

@rox7777 I'll see you that and raise you an aversion to how my 2.5yo smells. Not even pee/poop/diaper smell. But just general smell.

mamaclownface · November 2019

other people's children really annoy me. I know my kid does the same sh*t but its just so off-putting when its not mine. Also, most babies are ugly. fight me.

ruby696 · November 2019

Okay @kylelee23, we can be friends. And since I won't have to share cheesecake, this might work out well.

I'd like to add that other people's dogs are annoying too. No I don't want to pet your dog. And I don't think it's cute that it's sniffing and licking me.

heyybritt · November 2019

@ruby696 agreed about other people's dogs. I love mine. Do not like to interact with others that much. I will admire them from afar.

rox7777 · November 2019

@catem07 People smells set me off in general. I avoid smelling. 😂

ruby696 · November 2019

@heyybritt I do like some dogs. Usually cute ones that are well behaved - not small and yappy. And give me all the CCI dogs.

Eta: service dogs are usually from CCI where I live. In case people weren't sure what CCI was.

chewie5990 · November 2019

I’ve been to several gender reveal parties but not one has involved gifts. Usually it’s just an excuse to get together with friends and pretty low key - cake, bbq, hangout. I’ve never brought a gift or seen anyone else bring gifts though. Maybe it’s just not common in our social circle.

We we might do a small gender reveal with just our family as something fun for DS and my nieces and nephews.

My FFFC - I don’t think women have any extra “rights” because we carry the baby. I think MH has 100% equal rights to make decisions concerning our child. I have 100% right to my body, but just because baby is my body doesn’t mean it’s not 50% his. I guess maybe this is technically and UO but oh well.

catem07 · November 2019

@chewie5990 I recently saw a discussion about whether a woman's mom (so the future grandma) should be present for delivery or not and everyone was saying it's 100% her decision even though her husband didn't want it. I disagree. His wishes for delivery are important too!

So in some ways (but I think maybe not all) I agree with you.

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