Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
huskervbfan
member
Re: Delivery Recovery Hacks
With the holidays coming up and time running out, I was wondering if there are any good recovery hacks I can get prepped at home such as ointments/lotions, cooling pads, etc.? I am not the most creative or crafty person (and usually not much of a planner....nesting??), but I know it will be better to have as much ready before baby comes than to try to make things after.
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12748409/c-sections#latest
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
I used which hazel on an unscented pad every time I changed it and it really seemed to help!
I also bought scented pads not knowing they were scented and wow did the irritate me! And don’t buy always overnight maxis! Yes they seem to hold lots but if you have stitches they actually pull at the stitches!
Take baths anytime you can! Even if it’s just water and relaxing but I think you can add things to help with the healing but I never did.
Accept the help! And take it as easy as you can!
*Ice packs the first 24 hours
*Peri bottle with warm water during pee stream to avoid the burn, and after to clean (then gently pat dry with toilet paper). Hospital should supply the peri bottle.
*Stay on top of pain meds
*Dermaplast spray and Tucks can be useful for pain and swelling, I didn’t care for them (hospital may supply)
*I sat on the Boppy instead of buying a donut pillow
Hemorrhoid care
*Tucks pads stuck in your butt crack
*Stool softeners so you don’t strain
C-Section recovery
*Stay on top of your meds
*Ice packs on the incision
*Wear a belly binder for support (my hospital supplies them)
*Get up and start walking as soon as you can. The more you sit around, the more sore you will be.
*Keep your incision clean and dry so it doesn’t become infected
Breastfeeding
*Apply lanolin after every nursing session right from the start, regardless of how your nipples feel. Why treat cracked, bleeding nipples when you can prevent them?!
*Use nursing pads so you don’t leak through your clothes
Self care
*Don't buy into the “I don’t have time to shower” crap. Take a shower every day. While baby naps, or as soon as your partner gets home. Just do it. You deserve to feel human.
*Take the stool softeners! Everyone talks about how scary your first poop is, so I was scared. Despite my 2nd degree tear and raging hemorrhoids, my first time didn’t hurt at all.
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Needing or wanting help doesn’t mean that you’re not a good mom. If you talk yourself into thinking that you should do it all you’re going to get burnt out. Along these same lines... another +1 for showering every day no matter what.
I also loved and swear by Earth Mama Angel Baby brand Mama Bottom Balm and Cooling Spray. You can buy them at Target. I believe the balm was witch hazel and the spray was cucumber. They were amazing and I used them both after each trip to the restroom for a couple weeks.
Also check in with your feelings about adult diapers/ mesh undies. I hated them and felt demoralized wearing them even though it was only a couple during labor. It was one of my biggest complaints that feeling embarrassed is something to be avoided during labor- nudity and screaming were fine, but adult diapers felt humiliating. I’m buying black Thinx extra heavy period panties in case I need them this time instead and my midwife said that’d be fine. (I bled a ton during labor due to cord having a tear from placenta.) I did regular underwear with overnight cloth pads exclusively PP and plan to do that again. It was really nice to feel like myself and see something pretty when I had to deal with that mess every couple hours.
+1 showering every day no matter what. Screaming babies are breathing babies and even if you have to let them scream on the floor to get it done, that 10 minutes is necessary. Taking care of Mama is not secondary, it’s vital to taking care of baby.
on my pad when I changed it. I didn’t try freezing them but I’m sure that would have been a nice feeling too!
I also second the always Infinity pads! They are so thin and discrete but they catch a lot! But I also liked the mesh undies and pads, seemed to work for me, but I know lots
of people who didn’t like how big and bulky they were!
RE: poopy delivery- Y’all, you’re gonna poop if delivering vaginally. It’s your body’s way of making more room for baby, since your rectum and birth canal are next to each other. And if you’re pooping while pushing, that’s a GOOD thing. It means you’re pushing the right way. I can’t express how little anyone will care or bat an eye. Your nurse or provider will wipe it away and keep supporting you, barely registering it happened. Just accept that poop will happen. 😉
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
I also second everything that is being said about Perri bottles. Warm water is a must, but it was an absolute lifesaver. My hospital gave me one, but I think I'm going to buy a second one to keep in the bathroom downstairs.
Also, I had a rolling bassinet which I would wheel into the bathroom whenever I took a shower alone with baby. Thankfully, she was always content to either sleep or lay quietly, but even if she had cried I was only a few feet away.
Also..I had made some padsickles ...they sounded like such an amazing and soothing idea, but omg I couldn't handle the cold!
https://alwaysdiscreet.com/en-us/experience-main-section/about-always-discreet
*Side note: my friend who had a c section LOVED them because they were so high wasted and didn't hurt her scar
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020