@lajoliedreamer I'm also curious I didn't feel DD until likely 25/26 weeks I'm really hoping to be able to feel more this time as I felt I missed out on a lot with not feeling her all the time, though I got tons of sleep unlike others because I couldn't feel her moving all night long. With her being breech as well I got lucky and didn't feel the "lightening" crotch from her head hitting my cervix her feet were up in my hip so my cervix was very happy.
As for dopplers with a pervious loss and an anterior placenta I liked mine and it gave me a lot of peace of mind. I didn't use it until the MWs were checking the heartbeat at my appointments around 12/16 weeks and I was pretty good as figuring out what was mine, the babies, and the placental heartbeat. Your heart beat is so much slower than both of the others so I don't think you'd get that confused. There is also a big difference in the type of sound between the placenta and baby a woosh woosh for the placenta and a trotting noise for the baby. You can find videos on youtube to help distinguish too. I limited my use of it to when I was really anxious and never more than once a day. I didn't use it again after I could feel her, but for me, that was rather late.
@jhysmath Great tip about watching the YouTube videos. The first couple times I used mine, I took my pulse at the same time so I could feel/hear which one was mine. They really are completely different and very easy to differentiate. I also had anterior placentas with my first two and was so bummed I wasn't feeling movement sooner. The doppler really helped with anxiety for that reason.
Re: when did you feel babies move... I hate this question because people get really touchy about it. I felt flutters with my second between 14-15 weeks, and did not have an anterior placenta. I only knew what it was for sure because one of the times coincided with an ultrasound and it was freaky to see it and feel it at the same time. I didn’t consistently feel movement until 17 weeks I think.
New question, how do you respectfully tell your parents to back off and calm down?
Back story. My mom has a very, very strong personality but she’s also very sensitive. She gets defensive when anyone (even family) tell her that they don’t agree with her or tell her that she’s overstepping. We often butt heads because I have no problem telling her my opinion (like mother, like daughter). It’s a miracle that we made it through our wedding when I didn’t do things like how she wanted. Anyways... she’s already starting to go a little over board with this baby. I appreciate her helping us hoard diapers, but it comes with all her “old wives tale” instructions on what I should do. I’m only 12 weeks and yesterday I got a 30 minute lecture on what I need to do after I bring the baby home (like not letting the baby outside for 6 weeks or letting women on their period hold the baby???). DH and I can tell that at some point we’re going to have to talk about boundaries. Luckily, she lives 4 hours away and won’t be a helicopter grandparent. That doesn’t mean I won’t get a phone call every day asking if I’m doing the right things. Any suggestions? What’s worked for you?
Side note, this is her 5th grandchild but she’s extremely excited because I’m her only daughter. My brothers don’t have the best relationships with their childrens’ mothers so we don’t always get to see them. My mom is looking forward to the idea that she can see this baby whenever she wants.
@drkoyya Set your boundaries now and make her aware of what they are. We have similar issues with MIL completely disregarding us with certain topics. I point blank drew my line in the sand and when she chose to ignore me she didn’t see the kids for a few weeks. It sounds harsh, but boundaries exist for a reason and if someone is unwilling to accept yours, you have to do what it takes to make them know you’re serious.
My mom can be a bit overbearing too, whenever it gets to that point for us I quit answering the phone and give myself a mental break. I let her know via text that we’re healthy and happy, but I need personal space. We’re grown adults after all. 🤷🏻♀️
@drkoyya I went through this a little with my wedding as well... it’s not totally uncommon, but I like to use distraction sometimes. I give my mom (or in my case usually my SIL) some task to work on and “help” with. Something they can throw all their energy into but you aren’t that invested so they can feel important. Perhaps the millions of car seat options are overwhelming to you and in your heart you know that any one of them is safe and sufficient, let mom research the best one. Or let mom go wild planning a baby shower. Or maybe you have some non-baby project that needs to get done at home before the baby comes... for example we needed a new washer/dryer, I asked mom’s advice and had she lived closer I would have had her meet the delivery guys for me too.
@drkoyya I'm pretty blunt with my mom. I called her a Carol the other day and told her she needed to slow her roll... I'm more reserved with my MIL. Usually we just smile and nod, and ignore everything she says to us. Luckily, she's not one to push a lot of old wives tales, but if she did, I'd probably smile and tell her that wasn't something we believed in, but thank her for the information.
@drkoyya I'm a pretty passive aggressive person and didn't really have family members telling me how to do things but my cousin who is a single mom and only 20 had all the aunts and her grandmother trying to tell her how she needed to do things. They wouldn't dare try that with me. Her grandmother threw a fit that she brought the baby to a family gathering in her infant seat without a snow suit on. Even after being told that it's dangerous for them to have snow suits on she would just start spewing they change the rules all the time this is how we did it and out children are alive. So I started posting all the videos on facebook (where she is half the day playing games or reposting things about if you scroll by you don't love Jesus) and I'd add information about yes your children survived, but the people whose children died they're not here to tell us their kids survived. I found one from a mother who became an advocate after losing 2 of her children in a car accident, she stopped pestering my cousin after that. I actually got in a fight with her (she's my aunt) on facebook when she posted a picture of very rigid baby shoes from the 60s that said parents don't love their children anymore they won't get them proper shoes. Both me and my cousin get soft soled shoes for the babies when they start walking but before that they can be barefoot or wear socks and she was just not for that. So out came the passive aggressive posts trying to bring her up to date from when she had children.
I liked to bog down their news feeds with information and hopefully change the facebook algorithm because they start clicking on what I share. I thought about adding a photo of DD with each article to get the "like" to help the algorithm start sending her things with out me posting them, but I don't like to post many photos of DD on my facebook, and currently I've deactivated my account anyhow and have been enjoying not seeing everything her and my MIL post.
@drkoyya I don’t have this problem with my mom. But my MIL tends to butt in quite a bit sometimes. Because she’s my MIL I usually just humor her and ignore the advice unless it’s really dangerous.
Example: car seat expiration dates are dumb. It’s a perfectly good seat. Cool. If your insurance company finds out you used an expired seat and you were in an accident they won’t cover the claim. So maybe it’s not worth it to risk that?
I will agree that boundaries are important, not only for you but for your husband and your child. We’ve had a lot of problems with my ILs because MH wasn’t willing to set the boundary right away and I ended up getting hurt, angry and frustrated. And now more than ever, we see how boundaries protect our children. My ILs play favorites with their three grandchildren who live twenty minutes from them in the same hometown. And setting boundaries and keeping them protect the boys as much as possible from realizing all of that.
I'm looking more for 3rd time plus moms I think as I am a STM. I am 11w4d I think I have had a couple braxton hicks today. I feel like its way too early for this. Anyone experienced it this early? I had my NT scan today and then went shopping after, so it could be from being more active and drinking too little water I guess.
Trigger warning
me: 28 dh: 34 married since October 2015-started trying immediately dx: PCOS, anovulatory rx: provera metformin progesterone *TW* BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis 1 clomid cycle (March 2017) BFP March 2017 ~ EDD December 13, 2017 di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia *End TW* BFP Sept.2019
@mrswifeytoad I didn’t have any during my second pregnancy until 18 weeks, and that also was from being too active and dehydrated (walking on our “baby moon”). I would say it’s not impossible to irritate your body this early, and probably just a sign to rest a bit and drink some water (but also I’m not a doctor so 🤷🏼♀️)
@mrswifeytoad TTM. I had Braxton Hicks with my second around 14-15 weeks. We went to Disney and did 20,000+ steps a day and it was June. It’s definitely possible if you’re active and not drinking enough. I’m just shy of 14 weeks now and had them a few days ago, I upped my water and have been fine since then.
I got tons of BH with my first. For weeks on end. It required weekly IV fluids and eventually a magnesium shot to stop preterm labor. Keep on top of your fluid intake and don’t up your activity level from what it was pre pregnancy were the biggest pieces of advice I got from my OB.
@laurasauruss - sorry to hear you have an anterior placenta, but it doesn’t mean no movement, just less than what you had before. H was still able to feel DD move sometimes and I have distinct memories of hiccups waking me up at night. Also a bit of visually noticeable movement starting around 26 weeks.
Does anyone have experience with a subchorionic hemorrhage? I had my first ultrasound over a week ago and didn’t get any in person results: just a written up one in my health provider app. In it I saw I have a subchorionic hemorrhage. Of course I googled and it’s a little scary. I plan to follow up at my next appointment but it’s kind of weird they didn’t say anything? But my BF says If my doctor isn’t concerned enough to reach out I shouldn’t be. Thoughts?
@lulam13 SCH are fairly common and in the majority of cases they are nothing to worry about. The fact that the doc didn’t mention it makes me think it must be small and the placement must be out of the way. They usually go away by 20 weeks via spotting or bleeding or they get reabsorbed into the body. I would either message your doc or ask them about it at your next appointment.
@lulam13 I agree with @m6agua here. If it was something to worry about your doctor would likely say something. Definitely ask because you deserve all the info. Generally the first time they see it on US they make notes in your records of its size and location so next US they can see if it’s bigger/smaller/changed in any way. If it is concerning they might have you come back for a follow up US pretty quickly, if not it would just wait to your next regular appointment. I had one on one of my first scans, but by next scan the doctors didn’t care at all and by the next one it was gone.
@lulam13 I have an SCH - OB did mention it, but said she wasn’t overly concerned. She did say that it might cause bleeding/spotting as a heads up, but so far it hasn’t.
@chewie5990 , @pirateduck , @m6agua : THANK YOU! I glad to hear from others it’s typically not a big deal. I’m definitely going with the flow and trying to remain as stress free as possible so your reassurance really helps! 😊
@lulam13 I had one on my first and 2nd US at 6w and 8w. They didn't see it anymore at 12w. My OB actually told me at after my 8w scan that new studies are showing no correlation between a small SCH and increased MC risk. That helped ease my mind a bit. If they didn't mention it to you, it was likely small, but I would still ask!
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
When did you start your registry? Is it ever too soon? Thinking about starting one but worried it will grow massive by the time I’m due or I will change my mind about things. I just don’t want to forget about things I put a bunch of research into.
I don't remember when I started with DD. For this pregnancy I've already started and have already received my welcome box from Amazon. I have my registries set to private, since they are more of just a list for myself on the few items I would like to get and for the completion discount.
One thing to think about is if you register now, you will need to update it when the seasons change and they change out product. I remember having to delete things off of my registries and updated them last time because things ended up out of stock. To me that was really no big deal though.
@pirateduck I started mine early for that exact reason. I didn't want to lose the stuff I put research into. I set it to private until it was closer to my shower. Like @m6agua mentioned, a bunch of stuff got discontinued, but the big stuff remained for the most part. Don't bother with clothes until you're closer because everything will likely be unavailable by then. I did a big clean up of stuff I didn't absolutely want prior to my shower and making the registry public.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
Oh, thank you! I didn't realize you can set it to "private" I feel better about starting early now because I can keep editing it and then just make it public when the time comes!
@pirateduck, The nice thing about starting the registry early is you have time to think about what you place on it and can remove things as you find you don't want or need them. Also, the privacy option.
I actually put things on it that I need; almost like a secondary shopping list. For one pregnancy, I had a really nice fridge lock and chiropractor adjustments. I also put my birth kit for the home birth. With my last, it was more a list of the things I needed in order to prepare for baby, split into 3 month periods of when I needed to have it. It kept me on track to get what I needed, didn't buy more than needed, and also get the coupon/discount for registry items which some stores give toward the end.
I also like earlier because when it comes to clothes, I would ask for garments starting at size 6mo and up so now is the time to be adding those before the stores change out their listed inventory for the next season and you cannot find last season as easily.
Ok, I am reviving this thread because us FTMs have sooooo much to learn. I started making a registry and I'm hugely overwhelmed. There are so many choices for EVERYTHING. And then do I really need EVERYTHING in the first place? I don't know! So for now I'm just gonna ask those of you that registered online, what website did you find most user-friendly/helpful in doing this? Also what is one thing you have that you could not live without and what is one thing you were gifted that you never used and the money would have been better spent on something else?
FWIW I started a registry on Amazon but I'm not in love with the way it's all formatted for one and can't find half of what I'm looking for on Amazon anyway because it likes to recommend things to you even when they aren't the things you are searching for (presumably based on paid advertising or something).
I liked babies r us set up the best - and they have a really easy return policy - but I honestly don't know if babies r us stores are still around...I know there is currently not one anywhere near me. My biggest piece of advice is don't open anything until you actually need it - I swear I went to the store almost everyday after baby was born to return things that I got at my shower. I returned a jogging stroller that I had registered for because who was I kidding - I don't jog. I also registered for a few small packs of different types of bottles and when DS seemed to prefer a brand - a returned the others. I registered for a booster type seat high chair, but after thinking about it more, I wanted a free standing high chair and Ikea has one for $20, so I returned that. There's just so much and every baby is different and you really won't know until you have the baby and start experimenting with things. I also never had a single issue returning anything even without a receipt - mostly I would return to babies r us or target.
@pirateduck I am right there with you with feeling overwhelmed. What I have found most helpful so far is Lucie's List - someone here recommended it in another thread awhile ago. I've just been going category by category a little bit at a time and it's been more manageable for my research!
@pirateduck I know the registries push a lot of big ticket items. I recommend going light. You absolutely don’t need a bouncer, swing, play mat, crib, bassinet, jumper and whatever else they put on that list. I like to start with a crib and swing and see what we need/want later down the road. For this baby I’m skipping the play mat because I found a large blanket on the floor with assorted toys worked just as well. A boppy makes a good tummy time prop over the little ones on the mats. You can sanitize stuff by boiling in a pot of water and you can warm bottles with hot water in a mug. Don’t get reeled into the 5000 options they give because you’ll likely use 5% of it.
My absolute must have list: crib, mattress, swing, car seat, 1 set of bottles, 1 pack of pacifiers, long sleeve onesie (fold over hands /skip mittens), pants, cotton sleepers, a baby bathtub, diapers, wipes, a hand pump, and gas drops.
@rox7777 Do gas drops actually work? I read somewhere that they weren't good for babies, so I never used them. But man, babies are so miserable with gas. I may try them this time.
@pirateduck Both my kids hated the swing. That said, it's essential to have somewhere safe you can put them, even for 10 minutes, so we still have one. Make sure you don't put car seats, bouncers, etc. on tall surfaces like kitchen islands. I do highly recommend a bouncer so you can set it next to the shower. Feeling clean really helps your emotional well being when you're PP. Make time for showers, even if they're quick. (Sorry, tangent). Also, I'm a fan of velcro swaddles and Nose Fridas. Make YH do it so you don't get sick. 😂 And if anyone can tell me how to swaddle without velcro, that would be great!
@ruby696 So DS1 was an allergy baby. He was allergic to milk protein and it took months to figure out. Gas drops literally saved my sanity. I didn’t need them too often with DS2. But I recently kept my cousins baby and she was passing gas/screaming for 2 hours. Went out and got her drops, swaddled her real tight and she slept 5 hours. Her mom said that’s the longest she’s ever slept and now gives her drops nightly.
Totally forgot swaddles because I already own 10,000. So yes. Must have. Swaddle all the babies.
@pirateduck I’m using Amazon this time but I agree with you Amazon is not easy to use if you don’t know what brands etc you are interested in. The first time, I went into Target and Babies R Us and registered in person because then I could get a better feel for what each brand looked like and felt like.
Re: BTDT - Questions for STM's
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019I'm also curious I didn't feel DD until likely 25/26 weeks I'm really hoping to be able to feel more this time as I felt I missed out on a lot with not feeling her all the time, though I got tons of sleep unlike others because I couldn't feel her moving all night long. With her being breech as well I got lucky and didn't feel the "lightening" crotch from her head hitting my cervix her feet were up in my hip so my cervix was very happy.
As for dopplers with a pervious loss and an anterior placenta I liked mine and it gave me a lot of peace of mind. I didn't use it until the MWs were checking the heartbeat at my appointments around 12/16 weeks and I was pretty good as figuring out what was mine, the babies, and the placental heartbeat. Your heart beat is so much slower than both of the others so I don't think you'd get that confused. There is also a big difference in the type of sound between the placenta and baby a woosh woosh for the placenta and a trotting noise for the baby. You can find videos on youtube to help distinguish too. I limited my use of it to when I was really anxious and never more than once a day. I didn't use it again after I could feel her, but for me, that was rather late.
@jhysmath I probably did get more sleep, hadn’t thought of that benefit! But the worry when not feeling much movement definitely outweighed that.
Here’s hoping all of us get more movement this time around!
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
I liked to bog down their news feeds with information and hopefully change the facebook algorithm because they start clicking on what I share. I thought about adding a photo of DD with each article to get the "like" to help the algorithm start sending her things with out me posting them, but I don't like to post many photos of DD on my facebook, and currently I've deactivated my account anyhow and have been enjoying not seeing everything her and my MIL post.
Cool. If your insurance company finds out you used an expired seat and you were in an accident they won’t cover the claim. So maybe it’s not worth it to risk that?
I will agree that boundaries are important, not only for you but for your husband and your child. We’ve had a lot of problems with my ILs because MH wasn’t willing to set the boundary right away and I ended up getting hurt, angry and frustrated. And now more than ever, we see how boundaries protect our children. My ILs play favorites with their three grandchildren who live twenty minutes from them in the same hometown. And setting boundaries and keeping them protect the boys as much as possible from realizing all of that.
Trigger warning
married since October 2015-started trying immediately
dx: PCOS, anovulatory
rx: provera metformin progesterone
*TW*
BFP August 2016- early mc- Enoch Matthis
1 clomid cycle (March 2017)
BFP March 2017 ~ EDD December 13, 2017
di/di TWINS!!!!! vanishing twin- Hannah Jordan
DS-Nov 23, 2017- emergency induction-- Pre-eclampsia
*End TW*
BFP Sept.2019
I have an anterior one this time around and I’m bummed! The movements and being able to see them from the outside were my absolute favorite
I got tons of BH with my first. For weeks on end. It required weekly IV fluids and eventually a magnesium shot to stop preterm labor. Keep on top of your fluid intake and don’t up your activity level from what it was pre pregnancy were the biggest pieces of advice I got from my OB.
definitely possible. I had BH from like 13 weeks on with me second. I’m actually surprised I haven’t had any this time around yet.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
One thing to think about is if you register now, you will need to update it when the seasons change and they change out product. I remember having to delete things off of my registries and updated them last time because things ended up out of stock. To me that was really no big deal though.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
I actually put things on it that I need; almost like a secondary shopping list. For one pregnancy, I had a really nice fridge lock and chiropractor adjustments. I also put my birth kit for the home birth. With my last, it was more a list of the things I needed in order to prepare for baby, split into 3 month periods of when I needed to have it. It kept me on track to get what I needed, didn't buy more than needed, and also get the coupon/discount for registry items which some stores give toward the end.
I also like earlier because when it comes to clothes, I would ask for garments starting at size 6mo and up so now is the time to be adding those before the stores change out their listed inventory for the next season and you cannot find last season as easily.
https://www.lucieslist.com/baby-registry-basics/
FTM
BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
play mat, crib, bassinet, jumper and whatever else they put on that list. I like to start with a crib and swing and see what we need/want later down the road. For this baby I’m skipping the play mat because I found a large blanket on the floor with assorted toys worked just as well. A boppy makes a good tummy time prop over the little ones on the mats. You can sanitize stuff by boiling in a pot of water and you can warm bottles with hot water in a mug. Don’t get reeled into the 5000 options they give because you’ll likely use 5% of it.
@pirateduck Both my kids hated the swing. That said, it's essential to have somewhere safe you can put them, even for 10 minutes, so we still have one. Make sure you don't put car seats, bouncers, etc. on tall surfaces like kitchen islands. I do highly recommend a bouncer so you can set it next to the shower. Feeling clean really helps your emotional well being when you're PP. Make time for showers, even if they're quick. (Sorry, tangent). Also, I'm a fan of velcro swaddles and Nose Fridas. Make YH do it so you don't get sick. 😂 And if anyone can tell me how to swaddle without velcro, that would be great!
Eta: words