@ruby696 We did! It was a lot packed into just 4.5 days, but Seattle is beautiful and I want to go back. We went just the two of us, and it also happened to line up with our wedding anniversary. Although going pregnant definitely knocked out about 1/2 of our usual travel agenda. No breweries or wineries, and no intense hikes, zip-lining, or fun of any kind (kidding... mostly). I couldn't even get a massage! Haha! But it was really nice to get the 1:1 time and we left feeling much more connected to each other. It's crazy how much ordinary life gets in the way of that sometimes!
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I’m so glad that MH decided we don’t have to go to a wedding in OK in a couple of weeks, because it’s 18+ hours to get there and then 18+ hours back. You are amazing.
@whatsbumpinpumpkin 28 hours in the car with a toddler sounds like a special kind of hell. You're amazing for going. And your poor 3 year old deserves so many treats for being a trooper.
@whatsbumpinpumpkin we just got back from our vacation last Tuesday... 30 hours traveling, half of which was stuck on a plane, the other part either driving/in the airport... DS (20 months) was SO done by the end. I can't imagine being in the CAR the whole time though. At least we could walk around in between flights in the airport. I totally sympathize.
@mokay19 I ate mine at 9:30 because I didn't want to have to go back down to the first floor to pop the bag of popcorn I brought for lunch at 11 and the kids were making their homecoming floats during 2nd block. It allowed me to rearrange my room during my actual lunch though so that works I guess.
so my husband and I were discussing testing last night... he can't wait to find out the sex of the baby and one of his arguments was that we live in a day and age when we can find this out prior to birth so we should take advantage of this and find out... it's a surprise either way, but this is just a surprise a few months earlier than birth... but then when I brought up things like NIPT testing he doesn't want to do it, why not hope and assume our baby is gonna come out totally healthy and normal at the end of 9 months like the good old days and why worry needlessly... soooo he is contradicting himself with his reasoning. I don't want to do anything unnecessary or risky or invasive, but NIPT is just a blood test and it would set my mind at ease knowing that everything is ok in there.
I like it. I will present it to him this way. I asked if we could compromise by keeping the sex a secret until birth even though we know. I don't think I'm gonna win on that one either. He can't wrap his head around why I'd want to be surprised at birth by the sex... I can't explain why, I just do. At this point I'm not sure it's even worth the argument though. Nothing about TTC has gone according to plan and this already isn't the way I'd hoped or expected, so I think I have to flexible to just go with it or it's gonna cause me more stress. I do not want relationship stress on top of everything else.
@pirateduck I think someone on here mentioned that they were Team Green and it turned out the baby was the opposite of what their intuition told them and it cost them some bonding time. I’ve had a couple of friends with similar experiences. So maybe you can look at it positively. And I think keeping it to yourselves at least until the anatomy scan is a pretty nice secret to have. That’s what we did with our second.
@pirateduck with my first, MH pushed for us to find out the sex, even though I was Team Green, and in retrospect, I'm glad he did. I was an emotional wreak for awhile when we found out the sex was a boy; not because I didn't want one, I just wanted a girl more at the time. I can't imagine my feelings if I had waited until birth to find out. I'll probably find out right away again, because if MH has his way, this will be our last baby, and part of me still really wants that girl, so better to know sooner, and deal with emotions before baby #2 makes its appearance.
Thank you ladies for sharing your experiences. I think right now I am just so grateful to be pregnant, and boy or girl is so inconsequential in my life right now, and either way it's a surprise to us (just a matter of when we get that surprise) and either way we're gonna keep it soooooo yeah... I feel like if my husband really wants to know early I'm getting to be more and more ok with that. Having a baby is a new thing for both of us and even though it's my body, it's his baby too and if it's important for him to know I'm ok knowing. I feel like I have a way of making decisions and being controlling and maybe this is ONE decision he gets to make because I have a feeling I'll be deciding a lot of other things in the next 9 months!
@pirateduck MH wanted to know as well and I told him when he can carry the baby he can know. So that just happened to be after she was delivered. I declined all testing aside from US though.
I’m here! I was gone to training last week and this week is prep before we completely change over our software next week (while I’m in training again). I’ll play catch up tonight after I get the littles in bed.
I love all the different opinions on finding out the sex of the baby. I want to be a person who can wait for the baby to be born but I also want to be a person who works out everyday so... since they’re going to be right there anyway during the ultrasound, we might as well just take a peek!! I wouldn’t go out of the way just for that, but I don’t think I would make it through the ultrasound without at least trying to guess if I saw some boy/girl parts in there. Also, with both I just knew their sex so had I been wrong, it would have been an adjustment.
I was team green last time, and literally everyone thought it was going to be a girl, including me and MH. I had originally really wanted a boy first, so I wonder if convincing myself it was a girl was my defense mechanism against being disappointed. I loved finding out when he was born. I needed the extra incentive during my very difficult delivery. People say they're too much of a planner to not know in advance, but I'm the biggest planner there is, and really it doesn't change much as far as planning/decorating goes unless you really want to go super feminine or masculine with it (which is totally valid if you do). Anyway, it was a really cool experience, and we're thinking about finding out this time for a different experience.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@pirateduck I really wanted to be team green this time. It’s our last baby and DH really wants a girl. I feel like finding out it’s a boy might bring down the excitement of it being my last pregnancy, especially since pregnancy isn’t magical for me. But as a few people have pointed out, I know having a boy pop out unexpected might really cause bonding issues down the road.
I’ve decided to find out, but I want to make it fun for DH somehow. Just in case. I was thinking a weekend away and finding out the sex then. Maybe by wrapping it into a fun trip, it will make it that much more exciting.
@rox7777 I’m in the same boat as you. I have 2 boys, but I’m the one who is hoping for a girl. We were team Green for our first, did a big gender reveal for our second. DH wants team green again because he doesn’t care about the gender, but I’m worried about my reaction at birth since this is our last baby. I’m considering doing a SneakPeek test myself to know (I’ll tell him I’m doing it, I just won’t tell him the gender), or convince him to find out ourselves and keep it a secret from everyone else.
We’ll be team green again! DH is wavering, but he knows that I have the final say 😄 My SIL was team green with her first and found out for her second and said it just wasn’t the same experience. She enjoyed both experiences, but as she described the first vs the second, I knew that I’d want to be Team Green always.
It was also really funny going into the delivery room and the doctor was so excited that we didn’t know because she said it’s so uncommon these days.
To further my feeling toward Team Green, I hate listening to outside opinions (aka my mother and MIL). Everyone will have some comment one way or the other and I just like to not hear that BS haha
@mokay19 MH and I have an agreement that if we do find out, we will not tell anyone, for that exact reason. His mother keeps on making comments every time she sees us about having another one, and specifically that she wants a girl (she doesn't know about our losses), and I have zero tolerance for it. Sorry, but I'm not a fast food drive-thru where you get to pick which genitals my child will have. ✌️
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@shamrocandroll YUP!! My friend that went through IVF for her first and knew it was a girl since it was an embryo just found out she’s having another girl from a surprise, natural pregnancy. People have had the AUDACITY to say “I bet you guys are disappointed that it’s not a boy!” She always says “No, after 5 years of IF and being blessed with DD1, we don’t care. We’re just happy to be blessed with another!”
@shamrocandroll We found out for DD but kept it a secret from everyone else and it was SO NICE. My MIL was girl obsessed (she had three boys) and I just didn't want to deal with her any earlier than I had to. Everyone assumed we would have another boy (and my MIL even went on vacation out of the country on my due date), so they were stunned to find out it was a girl.
I'm still wavering on Team Green this time. Now that we know there are two, there's almost less reason to find out. Neither will share a room with DS or DD, which was the plan when we assumed we'd have a singleton, so we don't need to worry about logistics now.
@mokay19 My biggest reason for team green is all the outside opinions. MIL has already told me ...days after having DD that I NEED to have another child because every family needs a boy to carry on the name. Basically my daughter is useless to her even though technically she's not even part of the family with our last name as she divorced FIL 40 years ago.
I also refuse to share my due date or names we are debating because I hate all the outside opinions from everyone. My poor little cousin decided to name her daughter something that rhymed with DDs name and all of our aunts said she was not allowed to name her daughter that because it was too close to my daughter's name. She had already asked me if I was okay with it, and I told her that she can name her baby whatever she wants. If she wants her baby to have the same exact name as mine I didn't care because it's her daughter she gets to make those choices.
@jhysmath yes, we don’t discuss any name options because people don’t think before talking. Also, I don’t care about what other people want so it’s unnecessary haha
Funny story that I just thought of: when I was about 36 weeks pregnant with DD, I told my midwife that I felt like the baby did a big move recently and felt sideways. She couldn’t find the head so she grabbed the ultrasound machine. During that scan, DH and I both thought we saw boy parts and we’re kind of surprised haha. We were wrong obviously 😂 also, she had moved.... she was head down and already engaged and that’s why she couldn’t feel her head, she was too low haha.
Oh yeah, names are definitely kept secret. I definitely don't have time to hear people's BS opinions on that. "Ohhh, you're naming him that? I knew a serial killer with that name " Kindly f*ck off, thanks.
@ruby696 My husband's side of the family is 3 generations of only boys at this point, so she's just projecting the fact she didn't get a girl onto me, when all I care about is having a healthy, happy kid.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@shamrocandroll Good luck with that. If she's anything like my MIL, she'll try to live out all her girl fantasies with your kid. Then again, my MIL had the nerve to give us a list of made-up names that were acceptable to her for us to choose from when I was pregnant with DS. Hopefully yours isn't that bad.
*she actually got mad at me when she found out DS's name because we should have at least "given her one of her names." 😒
@ruby696 My MIL is more passive-aggressive about those things. She will save her sh*t-talking for behind our backs. At least until she loses her cool and then she is known to very quickly turn into an openly horrible person who says/does awful things. She has pretty major anger problems and I am constantly on edge and guarded when I am around her. I will say she does love DS dearly, at least. But man, if I hear her say one more time that our family needs a girl. One of these times I'm going to snap at her and say something like "For all I know, I might have had girls with the two pregnancies I lost, so why don't you STFU already?"
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
My MIL is girl obsessed too. She’s gone as far to tell us that she will have a room all ready for her (has no room for my boys to stay over), will keep her all the time so I don’t even have to do anything (I extended breastfeed and cloth diaper) and will buy everything for us (has bought nothing for the boys). It’s annoying, disappointing and downright infuriating. Even if we do find out the sex, I refuse to tell her.
Back story: DH has a daughter from before we were married. Her mother took off while he was AD and he hasn’t seen her in years. MIL still goes on and on about it even though she scared her off by saying she was going to court to try to get custody since DH was gone overseas. 🤦🏻♀️
@shamrocandroll Well I see we have the same MIL. 😂 I'm constantly on guard around her, waiting for the manipulation attempt. Luckily, I don't care what she thinks and she knows it.
Re: Weekley Randoms - Week of 9/23
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
I ate mine at 9:30 because I didn't want to have to go back down to the first floor to pop the bag of popcorn I brought for lunch at 11 and the kids were making their homecoming floats during 2nd block. It allowed me to rearrange my room during my actual lunch though so that works I guess.
#2 DD 7/1/17
EDD 2/29/20 MC 7/19/19
#3 EDD 5/29/19
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
My SIL was team green with her first and found out for her second and said it just wasn’t the same experience. She enjoyed both experiences, but as she described the first vs the second, I knew that I’d want to be Team Green always.
It was also really funny going into the delivery room and the doctor was so excited that we didn’t know because she said it’s so uncommon these days.
To further my feeling toward Team Green, I hate listening to outside opinions (aka my mother and MIL). Everyone will have some comment one way or the other and I just like to not hear that BS haha
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
My friend that went through IVF for her first and knew it was a girl since it was an embryo just found out she’s having another girl from a surprise, natural pregnancy. People have had the AUDACITY to say “I bet you guys are disappointed that it’s not a boy!” She always says “No, after 5 years of IF and being blessed with DD1, we don’t care. We’re just happy to be blessed with another!”
People are absurd.
I'm still wavering on Team Green this time. Now that we know there are two, there's almost less reason to find out. Neither will share a room with DS or DD, which was the plan when we assumed we'd have a singleton, so we don't need to worry about logistics now.
My biggest reason for team green is all the outside opinions. MIL has already told me ...days after having DD that I NEED to have another child because every family needs a boy to carry on the name. Basically my daughter is useless to her even though technically she's not even part of the family with our last name as she divorced FIL 40 years ago.
I also refuse to share my due date or names we are debating because I hate all the outside opinions from everyone. My poor little cousin decided to name her daughter something that rhymed with DDs name and all of our aunts said she was not allowed to name her daughter that because it was too close to my daughter's name. She had already asked me if I was okay with it, and I told her that she can name her baby whatever she wants. If she wants her baby to have the same exact name as mine I didn't care because it's her daughter she gets to make those choices.
Funny story that I just thought of: when I was about 36 weeks pregnant with DD, I told my midwife that I felt like the baby did a big move recently and felt sideways. She couldn’t find the head so she grabbed the ultrasound machine. During that scan, DH and I both thought we saw boy parts and we’re kind of surprised haha. We were wrong obviously 😂 also, she had moved.... she was head down and already engaged and that’s why she couldn’t feel her head, she was too low haha.
@ruby696 My husband's side of the family is 3 generations of only boys at this point, so she's just projecting the fact she didn't get a girl onto me, when all I care about is having a healthy, happy kid.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
*she actually got mad at me when she found out DS's name because we should have at least "given her one of her names." 😒
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020