@ruby696 Oooh we should have a crazy MIL thread! I think my MIL knows I'm very guarded around her, but I won't hesitate to take her down if it's for my kid. I think that's why she makes a little bit of an effort to be a bit more cautious around me. She and my FIL make bigoted sexist/racist/homophobic comments on the regular and I will blatantly get up and leave the room, so I think they finally got the hint there, at least.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
Mine makes comments about her brother being gay (he's not). When she made a comment about DS liking rainbows (he's 4), I lost my shit. Oh, there are so many stories! A MIL thread would be fun!
@ruby696 OMG yes! MIL jokes about my BIL being gay on a regular basis (he also is not, or at least is hiding it because of fear of being shamed by his family). If she ever comments about DS liking something girly in a negative way, I'll rip her a new one. Yes, I vote crazy IL thread!
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
Wow. I’m glad to know I’m not alone in the crappy MIL front. Of course mine just has favorite grandchildren ((and a favorite child so 🤷🏻♀️)). My MIL and SIL are usually very invested in what we are having and I don’t understand that. We do the genetic testing and then confirm at the anatomy scan before we tell anyone. I think my SIL is still mad that she didn’t have the first grandbaby and the first grandson since she had two girls, I had DS1, then she had a boy and I had DS2.
My MILs sister found out she's having her 4th grandson and has decided she's dressing him in girl clothes and bows because her son is getting snipped after this child and not ever giving her a granddaughter. When MH was little MIL kept his hair long but she wanted a girl and had a boy already. I don't know, it's crazy to me. I would prefer another girl out of spite for MIL wanting a boy, but either way I really don't care.
My MIL may be at my house sometime in the next 24 hours. Just saying. She is on her way moving across the country to go live next to my BIL(her son) and SIL who just had their second baby and "help" for the winter season. My husband and I find this hilarious because the thought of having her live nearby sounds like the exact opposite of helping. BUT as previously mentioned, my husband slipped up and told her we're expecting, and she made a comment about coming to stay with us next!!!! Our baby is due just about the exact time she plans on leaving the other family. I don't even know what to make of all this. It's up to my husband to keep her in check.
@pirateduck I flat out told my MIL she was never living with us. She has two other sons who aren't married and own houses. Go bother them. We have thought about moving and I seriously consider the distance because if we're too far away, she'll come for a week or more. I plan to not have a spare bedroom, just to prevent that.
My husband has told her (and all other family) that they are welcome to come visit, but not to live. If she chooses to rent a home across town, we can't exactly stop her. It's just that we have gotten used to not having family nearby. My BIL and his family are the closest geographically and they are almost a 12 hour drive from here. We don't see family often, which sometimes is good and sometimes is bad. It definitely would be a serious adjustment if anyone in the family lived nearby.
I can't contribute much to the MIL discussion because I actually have a good relationship with mine (although she does have her faults), but I will join all of you in your righteous anger/opposition toward your cray cray MILs!
Re: finding out the sex, we definitely plan to find out again. With DD we found out at our AS and it was such a sweet time for the two of us. I thought for sure it was a boy and H was leaning towards girl. When the US tech got to the genital area and it was clearly a girl, H got all teary and was like, "I always knew I would have a daughter!" I'm getting all misty just thinking about it now, lol. We did tell our families almost immediately after we found out, and then we told them the name we had picked about a month before she was born. Luckily no one made any snarky comments about either the sex or the name.
Yeah, that's a hell no to having MIL live with us. The house we will move to (inherited FILs home in Western NY) we will share with BIL as they both own it according to the will. I'm okay with that. MH started talking about the 4th bedroom being for MIL to move into and that's when I worked really hard on getting pregnant no effing way is she moving in. The rooms are too small to make kids share and our dream of a 6 bedroom house reno ended with a price tag that we could have bought 2 new houses in the area for the same cost. Yay 1850s farm houses making there not be enough room for her.
Surprisingly, it is my mother that is the crazier one (although MIL does have her moments). MM has been up in our business about having a second child, and telling us when we should plan on having one, and how important is it for our first to have a sibling (insert eye-roll). MH hasn't been her biggest fan lately because she keeps pushing her opinions when it comes to our child (& future children) on us. We are definitely keeping this pregnancy a secret from her as long as possible, because opinions will start rolling in as soon as she knows. Which will actually be hard because I am really close with my mom.
We’re building our dream house and people ask “are you going to put a MIL suite in it?” And my husband’s response is always “NO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT LIVES IN A MOTHER IN LAW SUITE?!!?” Lololol.
Also, DH’s parents don’t have a very good relationship and MIL always talks about how much fun she’d have if she’s single. DH and his siblings and spouses were all joking (without the parents) that all of us called “not taking Mom! Dibs on Dad!” if they split up and needed places to stay.
@mokay19 love your DH’s response. Also, tell me more about this dream house?! Did you get to design from scratch? Me and DH will do this “someday”, but for now we’re into rental properties and flipping old houses.
@mamaqdubu we picked a blueprint and builder that we liked and then made some (albeit, minor) adjustments to the blueprints to fit what we wanted and what our land would accommodate (i.e. not a walk-out basement but, instead, just 3 large daylight windows in the basement). We picked every detail in the house and are still choosing hardware and stuff as we go that will get installed after occupancy next month. It’s an open concept with a 2-story great room and a wall of large windows looking to the backyard and farm behind us. We wanted a first floor master, too, which I more uncommon than I realized! We’ll start with an unfinished basement and DH will finish that for funsies in the future. But we got it plumbed and have electrical laid out for a future full kitchen and bathroom down there!
When the cardboard is pulled up off the floor, I can post a few pics if you’d like 😄 We were very fortunate when selling our Washington house that allowed us to build now and not have to wait!
@mokay19 that sounds amazing!!! How exciting you guys get to move in soon!
We have a first floor master which I like, but, I don’t like that people will use our bathroom when we have parties if the other hall bath is occupied. And, I’m not looking forward to the stairs in infant mode with this baby. They will stay in our room for 2 - 3 months but when I go back to work I need my own space, but that means a lot of up and down!
Our floor plan is the other way around, upstairs is a master suite only, so bedroom + bathroom + walk in closet, the downstairs is everything else, kitchen + living + bathroom + bedrooms. I never really thought about what floor the master is on when looking at houses, but we liked that it's separate. It is going to make life with a baby interesting, I guess we'll probably have a bassinet in the master for awhile.
@pirateduck yes, I like the separation. We had DD in our room until 4 months and that was great. Then her room was directly next to ours and I had wished it wasn’t since I felt like it caused me more worries—oddly enough.
@mokay19 the house is great, but love the land you're on too! What a great spot!
@pirateduck 16 months in and dd is still in our room. About a month ago I got her sleeping in her own room for the first couple stretches. She absolutely wouldn't when she had a crib. She has another tooth coming in currently which means she's only in her own bed for a few hours. She is an extra beast when she has a tooth and mh just won't do she needs me.
The more my husband and I talk about my wanting to be Team Green this pregnancy (as it will be our last), the more sense he's starting to make on finding out. He wants to find out early but not tell anyone what we are having until delivery. We always keep our names a secret until Baby is here. Helps ward off unwanted opinions. I never actually say my due date either now that I think of it. I tend to deliver slightly before my due date.
@ruby696 I feel you! I'm constantly on guard against my MIL's manipulations too. It's exhausted. Let's send them all to InLawIsland!
Anyone else blatantly lying to people about future plans you won't be able to keep because you're having a baby? I'm supposed to go to Greece with some of my students the last week in April and won't be able to go. The girls keep bringing it up and I have to act all excited about it but I know as long as everything goes right I won't be able to go. I had to do the same thing 2 years ago for our trip to Ireland but I don't think those kids brought it up nearly as much as these ones do. They keep showing me pictures of where we're going and asking things like do you think we could do x,y, or z at this place. I know they'll get to go because it won't be hard to find someone who will want to chaperone a free trip to Greece, but I wish I could let people know and get it all organized now instead of lying. 7 more weeks and I'll let my principal know and find a replacement, but 7 weeks from now seems like forever.
I'm sitting at work dry heaving. This is the worst nausea I've ever had with a pregnancy. Lowkey thinking about taking the rest of the day as a sick day, but then that's one work day I won't have at home with Bean when s/he is born.
@jhysmath yes! Well, sort of. We have a trip to Iceland planned for a wedding in Feb. I’ll be 27 weeks. Ive had 2 kiddos born on their due dates, so as long as my OB clears me I’ll probably go, but I’ll probably the a wreck the whole time I’m there
GAH! Our one GOOD HR person at work just had his last day. I just got an email. There is no one left who knows what they are doing enough that I trust and can talk to about navigating things like maternity leave, insurance, etc. I hope they get someone good soon. I wanted to talk to this guy before he left because he is the only one that seems to know anything in HR and I missed my chance.
@jhysmath I was just feeling the same way at work the other day talking about summer interns. Next summer will be the first time our team has had an intern in awhile and the plan is for the intern to report to me so I'm starting the interviewing process etc and then it hit me that I'll be out half of the summer most likely and I feel like I really should tell my boss and team so they can plan for someone else to be the intern manager. It's really not a big deal though because I'm sure whoever we pick will be great and versatile and can do work with anyone on the team. I do feel a little guilty though.
GAH! Our one GOOD HR person at work just had his last day. I just got an email. There is no one left who knows what they are doing enough that I trust and can talk to about navigating things like maternity leave, insurance, etc. I hope they get someone good soon. I wanted to talk to this guy before he left because he is the only one that seems to know anything in HR and I missed my chance.
noooooo! That really sucks! I am so sorry. Hopefully they hire someone competent asap.
@jhysmath and @bananapanda I've had to lie too. At work my boss asked if I was interested in taking on a spring or summer intern, and I was like, no, I've already got my hands full with two newbies (which really I do). They also talked about next summer we may be moved into another building temporarily while renovations are done on ours, and I was secretly relived I wouldn't be here for that. I do know I need to tell my boss soon though, because I'm the lead, and she needs to know for planning purposes. I'm just a little anxious because it is SO early.
I had a successful hiding my pregnancy last night when a (no-super-close) friend came over with wine. DH drank 4 glasses, I drank zero . My friend had no idea and didn't pick up on it at all.
@jhysmath Yes... the huge project I've been on for the last 3+ years is actually launching in May 2020, and I'm kind of like because I'm a huge part of the final phase before launch. But in my defense, it was originally supposed to launch in June of this year, so it's not MY fault.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@shamrocandroll lol that happened to me for my last pregnancy! It was officially supposed to be complete Dec 17 but ended up getting extended around November for another 6 months (I was due Jan 5th, 18). So I had to leave part way through the major project. This time around, our official end date of our project is July 2020, so I just won't be around for the last few months. But let's be honest! It is impossible to plan personal events like pregnancy around projects, because there is always something that pops up that impacts it.
Re: Weekley Randoms - Week of 9/23
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
I will be joining the crazy MIL thread!!!
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
Eta: spelling
Re: finding out the sex, we definitely plan to find out again. With DD we found out at our AS and it was such a sweet time for the two of us. I thought for sure it was a boy and H was leaning towards girl. When the US tech got to the genital area and it was clearly a girl, H got all teary and was like, "I always knew I would have a daughter!" I'm getting all misty just thinking about it now, lol. We did tell our families almost immediately after we found out, and then we told them the name we had picked about a month before she was born. Luckily no one made any snarky comments about either the sex or the name.
Also, DH’s parents don’t have a very good relationship and MIL always talks about how much fun she’d have if she’s single. DH and his siblings and spouses were all joking (without the parents) that all of us called “not taking Mom! Dibs on Dad!” if they split up and needed places to stay.
We picked every detail in the house and are still choosing hardware and stuff as we go that will get installed after occupancy next month.
It’s an open concept with a 2-story great room and a wall of large windows looking to the backyard and farm behind us. We wanted a first floor master, too, which I more uncommon than I realized!
We’ll start with an unfinished basement and DH will finish that for funsies in the future. But we got it plumbed and have electrical laid out for a future full kitchen and bathroom down there!
When the cardboard is pulled up off the floor, I can post a few pics if you’d like 😄 We were very fortunate when selling our Washington house that allowed us to build now and not have to wait!
Your house sounds amazing. I'd love to see pictures!
We have a first floor master which I like, but, I don’t like that people will use our bathroom when we have parties if the other hall bath is occupied. And, I’m not looking forward to the stairs in infant mode with this baby. They will stay in our room for 2 - 3 months but when I go back to work I need my own space, but that means a lot of up and down!
Here’s the exterior now:
M/MC at 9w4d 5/23/12.
DS1- 8/2013
DS2- 11/2015 (Second round IUI)
DD- 9/2017
Baby #4 Due 5/10/20 TEAM GREEN
@pirateduck 16 months in and dd is still in our room. About a month ago I got her sleeping in her own room for the first couple stretches. She absolutely wouldn't when she had a crib. She has another tooth coming in currently which means she's only in her own bed for a few hours. She is an extra beast when she has a tooth and mh just won't do she needs me.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019Edit for wording.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020