Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: ***Read First Board Organization***
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
I don't see an ideal way to announce losses? I did see we have had at least two already, and they've been relayed different ways--one in PGAL alone and one in a separate thread. I think having a standard way to announce that is best for the board--being someone who has been on a BMB and suffered a loss, it's pretty devastating to be tagged into things by people who just don't know what you've gone through, and it's also hard to navigate the most appropriate way to tell the board if it's not in the board organization?
I think that giving people who have confirmed losses permission to post a new thread announcing the loss and providing a standard set of instructions they can copy/paste after their announcement, might be best? IDK if this should be edited into this post or be its own pinned post? I'm happy to work on those instructions if people agree this is a good idea.
Also, can we add Ten Things Tuesday to Tuesdays threads? Pleasssee? It's my fave.
Finally, has anyone started a spreadsheet for the Product Spotlights? Happy to modify an old one from my prev. BMB at some point soon. FTMs (like I will be!) can really benefit from that thread if it's super well organized. Again, IDK if this should be edited into this post or be its own post/pinned post, but I just want to make sure someone else isn't already on top of it before I start?
Username, EDD, age, location, FTM/STM +, etc.
Married: 10.15.16
DS BD: 8.20.17
TTC #2 1.1.19
BFP #2 7.3.19
EDD #2 3.13.20
I’m happy to add whatever you’d like with how to announce losses and definitely think losses deserve their own post! I’m not great with words so if you or someone else has a way to say that and/or a format for people to follow I can edit the post. Or if you feel it should be it’s own post that is totally ok too!
I don't personally have a spreadsheet for product spotlights so if you do that would be amazing! I can edit the post with a link if you want or you feel free to make your own post and we can ask the bump gods to sticky it!
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
@MrsVP614 ...Do you want to do the general spreadsheet for the group & I'll do the PSS spreadsheet?
Married: 10.15.16
DS BD: 8.20.17
TTC #2 1.1.19
BFP #2 7.3.19
EDD #2 3.13.20
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
*Formerly LuND*
Me: 35 | DH: 37
TTC: 7/2016
Low AMH, mild MFI
BFP 7/29/17
EDD: 4/5/18
BFP #2 7/2/19
EDD 3/13/20
I will probably try to be the one that posts it weekly & let ppl know when I can't/need someone else to-- THAT BEING SAID, if anyone knows of or has any particular questions I should add about the products, LMK & I'll add them to the prompts? ALSO if there's anything missing, you can add a comment to the spreadsheet that indicates what it is and where you think it should go? Or just LMK here.
Bc I'll be a FTM, I am relying on all yall who are STM/+'s to make sure I make smart registry choices when it comes time for that haha, hence why I am so dedicated to this thread.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1viBwjSlUQHpyJ_zwpmhx2V9GxJqKK7iWvUfckfseAhM/edit?usp=sharing
ETA: @varimama You can/should add a link/super brief explanation to the original org. post however you see fit. I shouldn't draft that text bc I suck at brief.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
everyone else i can only edit for 2 more weeks so share your ideas!
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Important board organization notes on spotting/bleeding/losses
If you are spotting or bleeding & would like support, please post to the Spotting/Bleeding Support Thread (TW). This thread comes with a general trigger warning.
If you are a contributing member with a confirmed loss, please create a New Discussion titled something like “Confirmed Loss (TW)”. Threads like these come with a general trigger warning. Consider before posting: Will you feel like any replies/support during this time will help you get through what you are going through? Or will it feel like you are announcing your loss to a roomful of strangers? Most importantly, consider what’s best for YOU during this time, and proceed from there. Feel free to copy and paste the language below if it helps you during this difficult time to not have to write as much.
This is a post indicting a confirmed loss, and therefore please do not provide direct questions or lengthy replies during this difficult time. Use the "Love It" button to show your support, a quick “sorry for your loss,” or something similarly short and sweet. Please try to avoid tagging me in replies to this thread or anywhere else on this board moving forward.
Here is my loss story:
Your story portion can be as brief or as long as you would like or can be omitted entirely. Know that the board organizers have provided the above for your benefit. We felt it was important for anyone going through one to know it's okay to post a New Discussion and also important for anyone in that situation to have something easy to turn to in case they had to announce something so difficult.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
I'm really looking forward to the weekly product spotlights! The spreadsheet loving woman in me can't wait to discuss options/recommendations so I can make a price match spreadsheet. Oh, can we double check for w/o Jan 10/17 - are the seasons correct for those months? Or I may just be reading it wrong!
EDD: 3/19/20
@kagesstarshroom I hope you don’t mind I updated the seasons. I will say those ranges will widely depend on your individual baby. I have a huge child who despite being 2 is in 4-5T. He wore newborn for 1 week, 3 months for a few weeks and was in 6 months clothing before he was 2 months old 🤷🏻♀️ My friend has a girl of similar age and she’s still wearing 18 month clothes!
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
ETA: Also!!! STMs seem to have a weekly & FTMs a monthly check-in... they both say monthly above-- we could switch those to Saturday & make them weeklies rather than monthlies!?
I don't think I even noticed the weekly monthly difference for STM/FTMs ooops. I’d just feel bad starting a thread like that on a Saturday when I know a lot of people have restraints on the weekend that don’t allow them to bump. I could just combine Sat/Sun and have weekly questions that could be posted either day? Maybe we could have a weekend plans thread where people could talk about what they are doing for the weekend since those tend to be more exciting then weekly plans? Just trying to think of positive threads.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
EDD: 3/19/20