This week's UO: I HATE GROUP TEXTS WITH THE FIREY PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS.
The thing is, I've even TOLD my parents, my sister, and brother-in-law that I hate them (they are the four biggest offenders), and to please keep me off of them if at all possible. Do they listen? No. What do they do? Well, my mother put me on one with something like six other family members over the weekend, and then my sister put me on one with TWENTY OTHER PEOPLE two days ago, probably 16 of whom I do not know. My phone was blowing up so much I had to mute both conversations.
I get it if it's an emergency and you need to keep in touch several people. And I've even started the occasional one when absolutely necessary, but it's usually been only 4 or 5 people on it. But if you just want to talk about the neat items you sold at your garage sale (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, MOM), or you have a prayer request that you LITERALLY ALREADY TOLD ME ABOUT IN A PHONE CONVERSATION TWO HOURS PRIOR (That's right, that's YOU, dear sister), keep me off.
@rjgmcmanus i'm having a shit day, and you gave me a solid laugh. a group text about a garage sale? i definitely have started a few, usually confirmed date/time/location of something.
my UO is what is it SO EFFING HARD TO READ?! these randos popping up on here are driving me nuts.
@anniemarie887 Sorry you're having a bad day! But happy to help. And yes, a garage sale group text. Love my mom. But sometimes she makes me just shake my head. Also, I'm fine with confirming times, places, events, etc. in group texts. But the rest of it...ugh.
Also agree with your UO. It's getting to be a bit much. Especially when they take up an attitude when someone tries to nicely guide them in the right direction. That's not okay.
Pregnancy sex totally freaks me out- DH and I didn't have sex the entire time I was pregnant last time and so far looks like the same for this pregnancy. I just hate being touched- I don't even want him to touch my belly. Thankfully he is understanding but when I am pregnant I just feel like I'm taken over by an alien and feel negative sexual. But cuddos to all of you having all the preggo sex
@Spartanrd4 We've been having sex, but it hasn't been as frequent as it was...for one, we got off-kilter when I was told to refrain for a month because of the SCH back in the first trimester. Two, after we were cleared, he got into his busy travel season for work, so that means our time is limited. And three, when he IS home, my hormones have been all over the place...sometimes it's been really good, but sometimes it just plain HURTS. But there's no telling day to day how it will be. And now with the limitations in positions (like not being able to do much on my back), we're basically in a trial and error phase...
Looking forward to after the baby is out and I'm all healed.
@rjgmcmanus I remember the last time we tried to have preggo sex I had an orgasm and started having contractions. After that I was like nope. nope. nope. And to be honest- even after baby- it took a long time for sex to start feeling good again, way beyond the 6 weeks post partum. I did have a 2nd degree tear so I don't if that had anything to do with it- but also when you are breastfeeding it makes you really dry down there so load up on the lube.
@rjgmcmanus I’m LOLing at your rant. It’s so true tho. I yelled at mom for group chats too because as soon as she got an iPhone, she kept making them, and she included numbers I didn’t even know. It’s like just chill girl. Group chats have been around for a while. Her bitmoji is hilarious tho.
@Spartanrd4 Good to know! Thanks for the advice! I had no idea breastfeeding did that.
@ktmaesim Moms and group chats...they're ridiculous. But then again, moms and technology make me nervous in general, lol. I still remember when she first requested me as a friend on Facebook...I literally let her sit for about two months before I finally accepted. I basically sat there thinking, "Do I REALLY want to get into this?"
i have another one: i am terrified of kids' clothing with all the kitschy sayings and/or glitter like "daddy's says i can't date until i'm 30". glitter gets everywhere. ugh.
@anniemarie887 YESSSSSSS. Why do they do that to little girls' clothes? It's so stupid. So happy I'm having a boy. No glitter. Weird sayings on a few things, but those can be easily avoided.
My UO is that I think most of the board organization rules are overkill, and for the most part unnecessary. I have no issues following the rules, but I just don't see what the big deal is. And I've been around these boards for a VERY long time so the "it clutters the board" reasoning doesn't resonate with me. I'm more of the "if you don't like what you see just move along" mindset.
Also I want to be clear that this is not directed at any specific individual here, just my general UO as I've seen this evolve over the last 13+ years on these boards (Knot > Nest > Bump).
@Spartanrd4 I am right there with you...we did not have sex during my first pregnancy with my daughter and have yet to try this pregnancy, but my sex drive has come back a bit. I’m just freaked out by exactly what you said about contractions. I had a csection last time so tears weren’t a concern post partum but it definitely wasn’t pleasant for quite a while since I was breastfeeding. That’s why I’m thinking we should go for it now so he isn’t feeling neglected for a really long time!
@rjgmcmanus The only group chat i participate in is one with my brother and his wife because we just send memes and gifs back and forth on inside jokes. Other than that I absolutely hate them on every aspect. I also cannot stand when people over use emojis. I have no idea what half of them are supposed to mean when they are sent @anniemarie887 I am about to become a mom to three girls and i hate girls fashion hahah. The clothes seem to get smaller and tighter the older my 4 year old gets and i break down and just buy boys shirts. My husband does a good job of finding some conservative looking dresses and girly clothes but i am not on board with the way the trends are going.
lol pregnancy sex used to creep me out too and feeling the baby being active after we did the deed. With the second baby we had such a high drive and probably more active than when we weren't pregnant. Yet this one I am right on board with not wanting anything at all. I try to spice it up with my husband and find flattering lingerie that looks good with my bump. But as someone posted on here before, it almost feels like just taking one for the team so i can relax .
@Spartanrd4 I didn’t know that about BFing either. What a bummer. TMI- I’m super prone to yeast infections, lube does not seem like it would be my friend. I guess I’ll continue celibacy 😭
@rjgmcmanus@anniemarie887 I can’t stand little girls fashion. I rly have to shop around be fore buying any clothes (we’re still green)....and I am so glad nobody can buy us any clothes bc they don’t know the gender. I’ve bought some rly adorable gender neutral clothes off Aussie websites that I loveeeeee.
Wilson & Frenchy Rylee & Cru Goldie & Ace Quincy Mae
theyre pricey but I wanted some staples that were great quality and also so cute and I will prob never get rid of them. Worth it to me to have a few expensive ones that we cherish. And since the seasons are flipped, all their winter stuff is going on sale and I’m getting it for cheaper.
I’ve been trying to think of an UO since last week. Here’s one
i seriously dreaded & hated going to sports or practices when I was young. I had major undiagnosed anxiety as a kid (due to my father leaving us) , and I hated being away from my mother so I think that’s a big part of it. BUT...
i will be so excited if this kid is 100% ok without doing sports. One of my biggest fears is this kid wants to be a sports all-star and I have to sit in a hot field at practices and games every day of the week and weekend 😂 my husbands the complete opposite. He’s like “can’t wait to make friends at the baby’s hockey games!!!”
@rjgmcmanus I totally agree. The worst is when people keep the group text going with unnecessary remarks like "ok", "lol", "you're welcome". Drives me nuts. I agree about not liking girls' clothes. Plus a lot of them don't look comfortable, and babies are too little to worry about putting fashion before comfort! I'm planning to do mostly plain onesies with soft, stretchy leggings. @ktmaesim I bought my baby a little hat from Quincy Mae. It's freaking adorable. Love their stuff.
@ktmaesim I'm with you, I have no desire whatsoever to get this kid into team sports (team anything for that matter). Individual sports is a different story.
@ktmaesim I was early in my 3rd tri or maybe late 2nd tri. It was so weird, I was like is this normal??! I never had Braxton hicks contractions my entire pregnancy so for that to happen totally freaked me out.
Count me on the baby fashion, especially for girls, can be awful. I hate the implied messages of sexuality for boys and girls. No my baby can't flirt, no my baby isn't sexy like daddy/mommyh, there is NOTHING sexual about a baby. I also hate the daddy is incompetent messages (like the onesies that have directions on them for where to put legs, arms, head for daddy).
@rjgmcmanus i would add the same goes for people who reply all to emails - although we've had some very very funny reply all scenarios at work when people didn't mean to hit reply all.
@anniemarie887 Oh my goodness, I can imagine...and yes, I feel the same about those. If it's a smaller group, sometimes I'm okay with it, because we're trying to coordinate something. But I've been on reply all e-mails with DOZENS of people before, and people just keep saying things like, "Thanks for the info!" or "Good to know!" or "Appreciate it!" or whatever...and I'm sitting there going "STOOOOOOOOP."
I don’t care for rainbow baby stuff. I really can’t pinpoint my reasoning for it, but it has always bothered me. Part of it, is I feel like some people see having your rainbow baby as healing and like the past doesn’t matter now. (These people that I have dealt with are those who haven’t experienced loss and love to give their opinion)
The gendered baby crap is driving me up a wall. I'm staunchly in team green now to prevent getting gendered baby stuff and I'm half tempted to not even reveal the gender after the baby is born lol! Let the child choose what kinds of toys and clothing it wants, it's not hurting anyone.
100% agree on the baby clothes, especially like @Stac928 said. My son is not a "ladies man" or anything like that, and I despise clothes that have messages like that. Our daycare teachers a couple times made jokes about him being a flirt too and I didn't like that either.
I'll go even further on that though, I'm not a fan of most writing on kids clothes, especially babies. Now that he's a toddler and has been gifted a bunch of tshirts with sayings on them I let him wear most them, but I much prefer patterns or just images. I have not one, but 2 shirts in different sizes that say "Mom's my hero" and I reluctantly send him to daycare in them because I don't care if they get dirty or ruined or lost. But anything that refers to my child as a "monster" or mischievous/trouble anything like that, I will absolutely not put on him.
Oh and shortly before finding out we're expecting again my mom got him a shirt that says "I'm Mom's favourite! #1 Son!" and I'm thinking "well, he's definitely not wearing that one once this kid is born..."
@holly321 I’ve seen some really tasteful newborn photos with the rainbow theme subtly used but it’s not for me. I don’t want this baby to grow up and think the only reason we had him was to bandaid wounds from our loss. We know how special he is to our family and pictures of rainbows can’t measure that.
Ill piggy back the clothing opinion. I hate licensed characters on kids clothes. It’s tacky to me. Any Spider-Man or LEGO shirt ds has been gifted promptly goes in our play clothes drawer.
Also! I appreciate generosity but I’d prefer to buy my children’s clothing so we don’t end up wasting someone’s money and not using what they’ve bought.
@CapricaAndrea I love clicking your *spoiler*, he is sooooo cute!!! haha.
I too hate all sayings on clothes. So tacky.
And @holly321 completely agree I seriously am still trying to understand the whole rainbow baby thing...some people seem to use it as a baby after MC, but then some jut use it after ivf or struggles? IDk. Either way I don't use the term.
@k_mama91 last time we flew, I was next to this younger guy and he had his phone on SPEAKER until we took off!!!! He reaaalllllly wanted me to ask him all about the conversation he was having with his friend after they hung up, so I purposely DIDNT ask a thing. He even tried to strike up a convo with me and DH a few mins later, just so he could ease in his braggy talking points he had been yelling across the plane (I think it seemed like he went on the show Shark Tank, but honestly, he sounded so stupid he definitely didn't get a a deal with anyone LOL).
@ktmaesim i would also like to add people who just put music on speakerphone in public places... target, the grocery store etc. like dude, get headphones.
I think people should do what makes them happy, but to me, huge birthday parties for small kids are a little much. I feel like a small family gathering (maybe a handful of friends once they are old enough to even have them) is more appropriate. I dont like when people invite everyone they know and the kid gets 40 presents. It's just too much.
@blueskychicago12 Agree. I had a friend who actually invited 50 people AND rented a space in the park, complete with a bounce house...for her son's 1st birthday. And the kid was inundated with lavish gifts. It was a bit much.
On the other hand, I had another friend who just invited a few of us out for ice cream for her son's 1st birthday. He got the obligatory ice cream on his face photo, no gifts were required, we ate some ice cream, and called it a day. They later told me the only reason they did it was because they had both been craving ice cream and they wanted some adult interaction, lol. And they just didn't want to make a big thing of his birthday, since he wouldn't remember it anyway. That was more my speed.
We invited 47 people....sadly that is just family. Our Parents, our grandparents, our siblings, and all the siblings kids. I don’t think we will ever get to have a small gathering
@Stac928 I totally get the big family thing...I have a huge family too (for perspective, about 60 of the people we invited to our wedding were just MY side of the family). I think the thing that was off putting for me about this particular party wasn't even the size of the guest list, it was just so extravagant in general for a first birthday party, with the bounce house and the catering and the gifts and all of it. The kid won't even remember it. To each their own, and we all need to do what makes us happy, but personally, I'd rather save that kind of party for a birthday they'll actually remember.
Re: UO 8/8
The thing is, I've even TOLD my parents, my sister, and brother-in-law that I hate them (they are the four biggest offenders), and to please keep me off of them if at all possible. Do they listen? No. What do they do? Well, my mother put me on one with something like six other family members over the weekend, and then my sister put me on one with TWENTY OTHER PEOPLE two days ago, probably 16 of whom I do not know. My phone was blowing up so much I had to mute both conversations.
I get it if it's an emergency and you need to keep in touch several people. And I've even started the occasional one when absolutely necessary, but it's usually been only 4 or 5 people on it. But if you just want to talk about the neat items you sold at your garage sale (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, MOM), or you have a prayer request that you LITERALLY ALREADY TOLD ME ABOUT IN A PHONE CONVERSATION TWO HOURS PRIOR (That's right, that's YOU, dear sister), keep me off.
End rant.
my UO is what is it SO EFFING HARD TO READ?! these randos popping up on here are driving me nuts.
Also agree with your UO. It's getting to be a bit much. Especially when they take up an attitude when someone tries to nicely guide them in the right direction. That's not okay.
Looking forward to after the baby is out and I'm all healed.
@ktmaesim Moms and group chats...they're ridiculous. But then again, moms and technology make me nervous in general, lol. I still remember when she first requested me as a friend on Facebook...I literally let her sit for about two months before I finally accepted. I basically sat there thinking, "Do I REALLY want to get into this?"
Also I want to be clear that this is not directed at any specific individual here, just my general UO as I've seen this evolve over the last 13+ years on these boards (Knot > Nest > Bump).
DS - 7.5
DD #1 - 6
~ mmc 7.11.2018 @ 9w ~
DD#2 - born 12.24.19
@anniemarie887 I am about to become a mom to three girls and i hate girls fashion hahah. The clothes seem to get smaller and tighter the older my 4 year old gets and i break down and just buy boys shirts. My husband does a good job of finding some conservative looking dresses and girly clothes but i am not on board with the way the trends are going.
lol pregnancy sex used to creep me out too and feeling the baby being active after we did the deed. With the second baby we had such a high drive and probably more active than when we weren't pregnant. Yet this one I am right on board with not wanting anything at all. I try to spice it up with my husband and find flattering lingerie that looks good with my bump. But as someone posted on here before, it almost feels like just taking one for the team so i can relax .
Wilson & Frenchy
Rylee & Cru
Goldie & Ace
Quincy Mae
theyre pricey but I wanted some staples that were great quality and also so cute and I will prob never get rid of them. Worth it to me to have a few expensive ones that we cherish. And since the seasons are flipped, all their winter stuff is going on sale and I’m getting it for cheaper.
i seriously dreaded & hated going to sports or practices when I was young. I had major undiagnosed anxiety as a kid (due to my father leaving us) , and I hated being away from my mother so I think that’s a big part of it. BUT...
i will be so excited if this kid is 100% ok without doing sports. One of my biggest fears is this kid wants to be a sports all-star and I have to sit in a hot field at practices and games every day of the week and weekend 😂 my husbands the complete opposite. He’s like “can’t wait to make friends at the baby’s hockey games!!!”
I agree about not liking girls' clothes. Plus a lot of them don't look comfortable, and babies are too little to worry about putting fashion before comfort! I'm planning to do mostly plain onesies with soft, stretchy leggings.
@ktmaesim I bought my baby a little hat from Quincy Mae. It's freaking adorable. Love their stuff.
@blueskychicago12 Or when everyone else dies off but two people keep talking to each other...like, just text each other. Not the whole group.
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
I'll go even further on that though, I'm not a fan of most writing on kids clothes, especially babies. Now that he's a toddler and has been gifted a bunch of tshirts with sayings on them I let him wear most them, but I much prefer patterns or just images. I have not one, but 2 shirts in different sizes that say "Mom's my hero" and I reluctantly send him to daycare in them because I don't care if they get dirty or ruined or lost. But anything that refers to my child as a "monster" or mischievous/trouble anything like that, I will absolutely not put on him.
Oh and shortly before finding out we're expecting again my mom got him a shirt that says "I'm Mom's favourite! #1 Son!" and I'm thinking "well, he's definitely not wearing that one once this kid is born..."
Ill piggy back the clothing opinion. I hate licensed characters on kids clothes. It’s tacky to me. Any Spider-Man or LEGO shirt ds has been gifted promptly goes in our play clothes drawer.
Also! I appreciate generosity but I’d prefer to buy my children’s clothing so we don’t end up wasting someone’s money and not using what they’ve bought.
I too hate all sayings on clothes. So tacky.
And @holly321 completely agree I seriously am still trying to understand the whole rainbow baby thing...some people seem to use it as a baby after MC, but then some jut use it after ivf or struggles? IDk. Either way I don't use the term.
DS - 7.5
DD #1 - 6
~ mmc 7.11.2018 @ 9w ~
DD#2 - born 12.24.19
Also, I hate when someone chooses to use the stall right next to me when others are open. Spread out buddy.
i would also like to add people who just put music on speakerphone in public places... target, the grocery store etc. like dude, get headphones.
On the other hand, I had another friend who just invited a few of us out for ice cream for her son's 1st birthday. He got the obligatory ice cream on his face photo, no gifts were required, we ate some ice cream, and called it a day. They later told me the only reason they did it was because they had both been craving ice cream and they wanted some adult interaction, lol. And they just didn't want to make a big thing of his birthday, since he wouldn't remember it anyway. That was more my speed.
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019