UO 8/8

anniemarie887

@Stac928 I’m with you on the massive family, except I married into it.

I do sometimes look at these massive kid parties though and think damn, that’s easily like $500 of food and drinks that could’ve been put into a college savings account. 

k_mama91

We combat the gift issue by donating to toys for tots. Perks of having a December baby y’all! With birthday and Christmas so close together we started asking for unwrapped toys instead of gifts for ds. He keeps the gifts from us and grandparents/uncles and we donate the rest. Teaches him about giving and keeps his toys to a reasonable number. 

Stac928

@anniemarie887 most of that is in-laws. I have one brother.  He has one child. DH is the youngest of 5 boys (well there is one estranged sister but we don’t talk about that much). Three of his brothers have kids and stepkids. One brother alone has 6 kids (blended family, each had three when they married) and one of those step kids has a baby. On DH’s side family gatherings are a damn circus lol. 

anniemarie887

@Stac928 sounds about the same, you’re at least are in the sibling level. MHs one grandmother had 7 kids, she was having the last baby when the oldest daughter was having her first baby. Father of the Bride style! He has 20 first cousins, and we’ve now official had a cousin’s child have a child. (I had to google to know that kid is a considered a cousin twice removed 🤷🏻‍♀️.) My parents each have one sibling and I have three cousins. It was almost like culture shock marrying into that many ppl!!!

cpk3535

@anniemarie887 and many others, going back to your thoughts on the oddities of girl’s clothes, just wait until you get to see your daughter or her friends do a dance recital.  It feels like a miniature strip club- horrible!

anniemarie887

@cpk3535 I have younger sisters so sadly I’m ALL too familiar. It’s scary. The worst are the dads in the audience like wolf whistling and cheering on. It creeps me out. 

CapricaAndrea

We did a relatively large party for our son's 1st and 2nd birthdays, but only in terms of guest list. We basically used it as an excuse to have a backyard BBQ and invite all of our friends and family over who we rarely get to see, and also had things set up to keep any other children happy, like a little pool, water table, bubbles etc. 
We also specified no gifts, but since I know there are people who would never show up without something, added that he loves books and has an RESP, so most of the non-family gifts (of which there weren't many) were a single book. It was perfect. 
Oh, plus we used his 2nd birthday as a convenient place to let people attending know that we're expecting baby #2

cpk3535

That sounds perfect @CapricaAndrea, we kept our parties for birthdays small until DD hit 4 years old.  Then, I felt pressure from my MIL and SIL, both insane party people, to do something big. It was great, but the planning was super stressful and the cost was insane!  I’m not going down that road again- SIL can do that for her kids as long as she wants.

mrszoobear

I completely agree with the not doing big birthday parties. I never really understood that.

We always got a small birthday party with a cake we wanted from the supermarket and all of our cousins coming over. A "big" birthday was being allowed to invite a couple school friends and maybe having the party at McDonald's. 😂

My hubby and his twin brother are his maternal grandparents only grandkids. His brother is a life long bachelor. Trying to get them to reel in the gift giving is going to be the real struggle. 

janiep81

Oh - I love that you guys are in the same place I am with the bday parties. I just can't. My older girls (6&9) have had one birthday with friends each, but otherwise we just do family. My parents come in from out of state, and both girls' days are during school breaks, so it just seems silly. I'd rather take a trip or something, but I'll give them options as they grow.