@dumbledoredies My dad spanked us when other things didn't work. He didn't take it too far. And I was the only one of my three sisters that was affected by it. I'm super sensitive and was as a kid as well. With attachment parenting I am not teaching my daughter that she is on the same level as me, but that her emotions are just as valid as mine. I didn't think you were snarky. I get a range of reactions when people notice our parenting style. One person said my kid would wind up in therapy. . And I responded that the most emotionally competent people I know are in therapy!
So I don’t consider myself an AP parent. I do say no and I do raise my voice at times, like tonight when my kid tried to touch the grill. Because I don’t do it much though, it got a quick reaction, and then I explained why I had done it and gave him a hug. My closest parenting influence is probably RIE, but not 100% by any means. I have found explaining the logic behind rules and limits to work well with my particular child. Of course the next one could be totally different!
I love how respectful this conversation has been btw. Good job BMB.
@Xstatic3333 I agree. I've been lurking as a first time mom I am new to all these parenting styles. This made me realize I need to check out a while lot more books soon lol. Any favorites?
@Xstatic3333 I agree. I've been lurking as a first time mom I am new to all these parenting styles. This made me realize I need to check out a while lot more books soon lol. Any favorites?
It’s not a whole book but I’ve found some of the tips that have worked well for me on Janet Lansbury’s blog and website. Warning: much of what she says will sound ridiculous on the surface, but if you take it in the spirit with which it’s intended you may find some things you want to try. Like I said, explaining things has worked great for me, as has encouraging free play, and that’s where I got those ideas. We do have screen time, though. I’m just not that big of a person lol though much respect to those that can pull screen free off!
If you keep a safe space for free play then you really don't even need to use the word no. In our house if a glass of water gets knocked over or the dog's water bowl becomes a splash pad it doesn't really bother us. We shouldn't have left those things out in the "safe play space". We use these occurrences at conversation starters. We are also pretty laid back in general.
I'm enjoying the positive discipline books. It's been helpful for me with DD But she's got a personality that responds well to the techniques so far, which means it's been easy to see results.
All very interesting points. I haven't thought too much on how to discipline though I guess I should. I've always said I would NOT spank, however, because my dad was big on spanking, and quite frankly, it didn't make me respect him at all, it was pure fear. Granted, he probably went overboard but I never want my kids to fear me the way I feared my dad. I think it's OK to smack them on the hand a little with a firm "NO" but beyond that, I'm not a fan. Of course, I'm also not a mom quite yet so don't hold me to anything I say now. My kid could be a hellraiser and I'll have to whoop that ass! Kidding! 😅
@kbrown2385. Thank you for sharing this! I had a really rough postpartum experience due to the pressure to exclusively breastfeed. As in we almost decided not to have a second due to my anxiety over how to feed him/her for the first 6 months. I actually had a lactation consultant at the hospital tell me that my daughter wouldn't breastfeed because I chose to have an epidural.
I totally support breastfeeding and am in awe of those of you who have been able to breastfeed long term! I hope things are different this time, but I also hope I have a better handle on the reality of it to prevent the anxiety and depression that resulted last time.
That's honestly the thing that worries me most about having a second child.
@kategancla I'm nervous about breastfeeding number 2. I had such a hormone plunge when I stopped that I didn't feel like myself for a month after I cut nursing sessions. That that my daughter is weaned I still feel a little off but getting back to normal.
@kategancla im so sorry that you experienced that. I feel like its very much used as a stick to beat you with & that pisses me off so badly. No healthcare “professional should shame you about any choices you make for you & your child! Like you said, I also am in awe of those ladies who can breastfeed long term but I get so upset & frustrated at the lack of support (& judgement) shown to those who cant for whatever the reason!
Re: FFFC - 6/21
I love how respectful this conversation has been btw. Good job BMB.
@biolprof Someone in my other BMB group recommended this book https://www.amazon.com/No-Drama-Discipline-Whole-Brain-Nurture-Developing/dp/034554806X
and I am listening to it on audio book. It brings in a pysche aspect and related discipline with age appropriateness. It also prompts you to think before acting...I'm only 4 chapters in and it's pretty amazing.
But she's got a personality that responds well to the techniques so far, which means it's been easy to see results.
I totally support breastfeeding and am in awe of those of you who have been able to breastfeed long term! I hope things are different this time, but I also hope I have a better handle on the reality of it to prevent the anxiety and depression that resulted last time.
That's honestly the thing that worries me most about having a second child.